BATMAN, EVER THE VIGILANT M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN MOVIE BUFF, GOES TO SEE THE VILLAGE AND IS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED, BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK
Daggum, this place is crowded, Batman thought as he made his way down the isle of seats in the semi-dark theater. After chasing away a group of young children by throwing jujubes at them, he took a seat in the middle of the seventh row.
Hey man, you're gonna take that off when the movie starts, right? asked a fat, chubby man sitting to his right in a greasy T-shirt and ball cap.
Take what off? Batman asked, beginning to wonder if he should find another seat.
In answer, the fat man pointed at his cowl. (Batman's cowl, not the Fatman.)
(. . . . Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Fatman, Fatman. . . .)
I do hope, said Batman in a disdainful voice that was directed towards the girl at the computer keyboard, that you, the author, will continue this vignette as scripted, and kindly refrain from any impromptu writing, please. He gave the author a menacing glare, which was answered by a omnipresent raspberry, that seemed to come from all directions.
And I don't appreciate that last remark, said Fatman. I'm big boned, is all.
said Batman, picking up where he was interrupted, The fat guy asked me if I was going to take off my cowl in a pathetic attempt at what the author thinks of a humorous situation, and the obvious answer is No, you crazy, hygienically challenged fool, of course not.' And we leave the bad joke to die with as much dignity as we can. . .
Which isn't that easy to do, said the Fatman.
And. . . Oh, what's the point anymore? asked Batman wearily. Look, I'm tired, this vignette was supposed to be about that preview before The Village about the next Batman movie, which may be more of a Bruce Wayne movie, and I actually liked that idea but then it got way off track at that weird set of parenthesis, probably because the author is tired as well, and just wanted to post something after a week of vacation, even if it was a half-baked idea, so she wouldn't feel like a life-sucking sloth.
Damn strait, said a bleary eyed Silver Meteor.