Otaku

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the anime listed in this crossover fic. I'd list them, but that'd take all the fun outta spotting them out. Please review this story! I only got one review for my other story, "InuYasha's Nightmare".

What exactly attracts you?

Is it the appearance or something more mysterious?

One minute I'm staring into the tube

The next I'm floating in space

As if hypnotized, I go to explore the place

As I float around, a number of planets appear

I land upon one that looks like Earth's moon

There is scenery, like that in a fairy tale

On a palace balcony, there is a beautiful princess

Captivated by the atmosphere, I stay and watch her for some time

Discovering she is not what she seems

The princess is a warrior

Fighting against the Dark Kingdom to protect not only the moon

But the Earth as well

Her comrades from the other ten planets aid her in the enemy's defeat

After viewing her battles and adventures many times, I depart into space

As I venture

My eye sees something unfamiliar

Space, the stars, the planets, even myself

Animated, how strange and yet appeasing to the eye

As I drift through space, trying to find Earth

I witness fleets of giant robots

Five robots flying in a group, the leader flying with white wings

Another group of five passes, but these composed of robotic lions

With a tight theme song to match!

Not only do I see these machines,

But I see landforms resembling countries on Earth floating about in space

With more of the strange human-shaped giant robots fighting to rule them

Scratching my head, I stare in confusion

Wondering where in Sam Hill I am

I come across more planets as I venture further

And for some reason, perhaps curiosity, I check them out individually

Discovering a lot of them are different variations of the Earth

Not only that, but each is a variation of Earth with strange inhabitants

One I entered seemed to be a world of cuteness (yes, I know that's not a word!)

I label it so, as I saw a cute white kitty with a bow in her ear

Playing hide and seek with a band of even cuter little hamsters

Being a sucker for anything cute, I can't help but take photographs of them

I continue my journey afterwards

World after world I inspect

It seemed I was inside Super Mario Bros., but I found this odyssey very entertaining

I witnessed all kinds of odd characters

On one planet, there was a trainer with his pocket monsters dueling against a reincarnated pharaoh

Forgive me if I sound rude

The pharaoh wore a cool leather outfit,

But his hairstyle was more peculiar than that of the moon princess!

Two more planets, these with the setting of past eras of Japan

A half-demon and a human searching for the scattered shards of a mystic jewel in Feudal Japan

And a wandering samurai of the Meiji era

This far out trip of mine grew more baffling

As it pursued in defying comprehension!

I keep going, in hopes of finding the planet that belongs to me

There is a long passage in space

It appears as though the journey has concluded, seeing there is an absence of planets

Seeing nothing but spotted black

I think myself lost and wonder where to go

To my far left, an enormous galactic ship

Paying no regard to the ominous sign of the skull and crossbones on its side,

I ask directions to the nearest planet from the crew of the ship, Arcadia

Their one-eyed captain appears and points me in the right direction

I follow the directions and on my far right, a rainbow stretching across space

Now seeing that, I thought what any human would think

Starlite and Rainbow Brite are traveling to Rainbow Land from planet Spectra

Instead, in their place was a Pegasus with a golden horn on its forehead

On his back was a pink haired child who looked a lot like the princess of the moon a while back

As they rode off, it had become official

I was losing my mind

Continuing through darkness, I nearly get run over by another spaceship

As I shout obscenities at it, the pilot apologizes and offers me a lift to make up for the trouble

Inside, the ship is like another planet in a way

The crew is composed of two bounty hunters

One, a middle aged man with a bionic arm

The other one, a young man with green hair and a devil-may-care attitude

A twenty year freeloader wearing skimpy clothing

A genetically formed Welsh Corgi

And a very bizarre girl named Ed

Don't ask questions

After dropping me off at a requested location, they find their wanted criminal and take off

I make a left at Alpha Centauri and find another group of planets

This journey, which was once amusing, has become so uncanny

The thrill has left

I pick planets at random to see which is mine

This planet, 7 Chinese warriors accompanying a young priestess

In summoning a divine phoenix to grant their wish

That planet, the same situation

Except with a kid with a monkey's tail on a quest to find 7 orbs to summon a giant dragon

It's too outrageous! It don't make no sense!

Sue me if that a double negative

But now I can't think straight!

What will be on this next planet?

An international thief with an incompetent law official chasing after him in an attempt to arrest him?

I enter and quickly exit

I hate it when I'm right…

I travel through more planets trying to get home

Each of them more incredible than the last

A song sung in the Japanese tongue, something about a Sailor Star, eased my frustration temporarily

It had a beautiful melody with awesome music!

One more planet stands in my path

I've tried all the rest and they've failed

So what harm can one more do?

I rethink that question and rephrase it

What physical harm can one more do?

Psychologically, it's way too late!

With no other option, I enter

In this world, I am flying overhead

There is a young man who lives in the Japanese countryside

Residing with his father, his grandfather

And six crazy women from various regions of the universe who all have the hots for him!

Two of which can never give the boy any peace!

I fly to another part of this world

Still thinking of how to get home

I suddenly hear a sound after landing on black pavement

"Oh Lord, now what? Race cars?", I thought outloud

I see in the far distance a white car

And immediately dodge out of the way to avoid becoming roadkill

I managed to get a quick look at the license plate so I could report him to the police

I wasn't sure what it said but it seemed to read

"Mach 5"

I face went blank as my mind did likewise

That's it!

I can't take no mo'!

My frustration is released through my mouth for all to hear

There is light

I discover it as I sit up in my bed, half-awake and confused

Upon regaining my composure, I remember the weird dream

That weird, crazy dream!

I sit and ponder as to what in the world could possibly have caused it

As I think, the answer surrounds me

My various Japanese animation DVDs surrounding my DVD player

29 issues of Animerica magazine

20 issues of Anime Insider

Shelves, bookcases and anything with a flat surface loaded with anime paraphernalia

And me falling asleep on the last ten minutes of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network

"Dude," in an amazed tone

That was all I could say after my wild fantasy

I then sit in bed, staring blankly into space

Looking at the walls, the ceiling, the door front and back, and then at the door

All covered in Japanese animation

I stare into blank space for a while more

Thinking about that totally wild fantasy I had last night….

Then go right back to sleep in hopes of having the same dream again!

THE END