DISCLAIMER: I own Laney; Joss owns the canon.
SUMMARY: M-cubed and Fred play physics.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: So I almost always ignore Fred, and I thought, for once, I might put her at the center of a fic. The timeline is five years after an alternate season one in which Anya followed Faith to LA and ended up finding her match in Lindsey. Everything else proceeded normally from there through season two of Angel, but nothing post-season two (Connor, Jasmine, etc) happened in this timeline, and it's completely AU from that point…
LET'S GET PHYSICSY
"You know what I love about physics, Aunt Long Haired Physicist?" Menley Magdalane McDonald (M-cubed to Fred and Laney to everyone else) asked.
"That String Theory is nifty?" Fred guessed. "Or the way that wave particles can be rearranged to intersect with radio signals or the effects of force on thermonucleic sine patterns or…" Fred, getting a hold of her babbling, trailed off. "What do you love about physics, M-Cubed?"
"I love two things about physics," Laney said, pacing back and forth like a lawyer, giving a closing argument. "First and foremost, it's physical." Laney's mommy always said that getting physical was like sex currency, and, as Laney had a passing fondness for money and a scholarly fascination with sex, she was pretty sure that sex currency was a good thing.
"Physics is physical," Fred agreed. "And metaphysical, and contraphysical, and sometimes, wave particles and electrofurellograms…"
Laney listened patiently while Fred talked on and on. Sometimes, with Aunt Long Haired Physicist, you just had to be patient.
"The second thing I like about physics," Laney said finally, when Fred stopped for a breath, "is that it has laws."
"Keppler's Law," Fred agreed. "The law of gravity, the law of thermodynamics, the law of gravity, the law of inertia…" Fred chortled, happily lost in her own physics world. "The law of nucleophysicothermoequilibriation," she continued. "That's one of my favorites."
"Laws are very important," Laney said. "They are the backbone of our society." The little girl grinned wickedly. "And you know what, petite scientist?"
"What?" Fred asked. She never quite knew what to expect when Anya and Lindsey's four year old daughter instructed her to 'guess what.'
"Sometimes," Laney said, "laws can be manipulated to our advantage." Laney paused. "That's the fun part." In many ways, Laney was her father's daughter.
Fred looked at Laney closely for a moment. "Manipulating the laws of magico-physics can be dangerous, M-cubed," she said.
Laney gave her an angelic smile. "I wouldn't do that, doe-eyed adult," she said. Aunt Fred was on a need to know basis, and she didn't know that Laney McDonald, pint-sized lawyer and resident child mastermind, had a third reason that she loved playing physics.
Knowledge was power.
"Tell me about String Theory again, Aunt Fred," Laney said, using the woman's actual name and climbing into her lap. Fred cuddled the little girl for just a moment. "And then we should eat tacos," Laney said, snuggling.
"Hey, Aunt Long Haired Physicist, you know why I like tacos?" Laney asked.
Fred racked her brain, trying to think of a sexual or legal explanation for liking tacos. "Because you have a constitutional right to eat tacos?" Fred guessed.
Laney shook her head. "No," she said. "I like tacos because you like tacos, and I love you. What could be more constitutional than that?"
Fred blushed and hugged the child, and then, they got down to business. First they'd play physics, and then, they'd eat tacos.
And then, if she wasn't too tired before her afternoon nap, Menley Magdalane McDonald might manipulate the laws of physics and take over the world. If there wasn't an amendment that guaranteed her the right to take over the world, Laney was pretty sure that there should have been. After all, what could be more constitutional than getting physics-y?