Fan Girls United Chapter 9
Chester squawked in protest as two fan girls tried to lift him off of Legolas' horse.
"What is this thing?!" one of the girls asked
"I don't know Lela. It looks so weird, but its cute!!" the other replied
"Careful! Don't hurt him! Oh! Just let him sleep outside the stable thing." Cheesy growled as two random fan girls led Brutus and Chester outside
"Come on! Lets go start the sleepover!" the leader said, "Oh and by the way, my name is Meg. This is Keya, Sammy and Ally."
Cheesy nodded, Lem frowned and Legolas blinked.
'Wow they are stupid.' He thought, 'I'm standing right in front of them and they don't know it.'
"Okay, lets go!!!" Meg said and grabbed Cheesy arm
She pulled her upstairs to a bright pink room with lots of purple shiny things all over it. Everything was soft and fluffy and cute. It was so gross!
Lem and Legolas followed slowly. Lem was grumbling and complaining the entire time while Legolas prayed that he wouldn't have to join us.
Meg quickly grabbed Lem and pulled her into the room. Then she glared at Legolas.
"No boys aloud!" she said and slammed the door
Legolas stood in the dark hallway with a huge smile on his face.
"THANK THE VALAR!!!!!" He yelled and ran off
Inside the room, Cheesy and Lem weren't as lucky.
"Well! We have chips, popcorn, ice cream and…Chocolate." Meg said
Cheesy eyes went wide. She had to resist the chocolate. Something bad could happen if she got all hyper. She could something that would expose their real purpose for being in the fan girl forest.
Luckily no one had noticed Cheesy's shirt that said: 'I eat Fan Girls'
Lem sat down in a pink fluffy chair.
"This is evil. Pure evil." She whispered to Cheesy
"So! Want some chocolate!?" Ally asked and shoved some in Cheesy's face
"I umm, no I can't. I'm allergic!!" Cheesy said
"REALLY?! Wow! I feel bad for you." Ally replied and ate the chocolate herself
"So what should we do first girls?" Keya asked
"Let's play truth or dare!" Sammy exclaimed
Alli, Meg and Keya agreed happily. Cheesy and Lem shrugged.
"Okay, truth or dare Katz?" Meg asked
"Hmm truth." Cheesy/Katz said
"Well, is it true that you know The Cheese Turkey?" Meg asked
Cheesy blinked. Did they suspect something? Was this little sleepover just a way to get information from travelers that may know the whereabouts of Legolas? It was the perfect plan. Under the code of truth or dare, no girl could lie.
"I…um, yes. I know her." Cheesy said
Meg seemed to be pleased with this answer.
"Okay, Katz it's your turn." She said
"Okay, um Keya. Truth or Dare?" Cheesy replied
"Dare!" she said
Cheesy then realized that she could use this to her advantage too. She could find out more about Kileana's plans but she would have to be careful…
"I dare you to…go to the leader of this place and tell her that she…is ugly as an orc!" Cheesy said with a smile
The fan girls gasped.
"But that is dangerous! She is evil!" Sammy said
"You have to! Those are the rules!" Lem said
The fan girls looked uncertainly at each other and gulped.
Legolas wandered the halls of the fan girl building. He was feeling very happy with the face that he did not have to take part in evil activities.
He was also glad that he could walk through the fan girl building and not be attacked my mobs of crazed teenaged girls.
Cheesy disguise actually worked! He would have to remember to give her a hug. She would like that.
A soft noise coming from one of the rooms caught his attention.
He followed the noise to the end of the hallway where there were two very large thick wooden doors. Legolas found that these doors were not locked and that he could easily enter without setting off any alarms.
Legolas looked to the left, then to the right and entered the room.
He was surprised to find that it led to a flight of stairs that went down so far that he could not see the end.
Legolas shrugged and started walking down the stairs. After about 200 stairs he stared to get tired of walking and suddenly got a brilliant idea. Legolas smiled and attempted to surf down the railing.
To his surprise this worked…for a wile. Then Legolas lost his balance and fell off the side. Luckily it was on the side that the stairs were on and not the other where the 70ft droop was.
Legolas then decided to slide down. This worked much better until he finally came to the bottom where he slid right off and landed hard on the floor.
"Ow." He mumbled and got up
At the bottom there were three tunnels leading off into the dark places of the fan girl fort.
He still heard the odd noise although it was much closer now and it was coming from the second tunnel. So Legolas headed in this direction.
The tunnel was long, winding and dark. Legolas hoped that he would be able to find his way out.
This turning and winding went on for a while before the tunnel finally opened up into a large room with barred cells lining the walls.
Then it became clear what the sound was.
In darkest corner of this dungeon there lurked a great evil.
Legolas gasped when he realized what this evil was. It was so evil that Legolas almost died from the mere sight of it.
In the corner was a TV playing a Brittney Spears instructional dance video and under it was another TV playing Lord of the Rings…the animated version!!!!
Legolas repeatedly kicked the TVs until he was sure that they were dead.
What kind of monsters subjected people this kind of evil disgusting torture!?
Legolas looked around and saw that all the cells were empty except one. There was someone in the cell closeted to the wall he could see them moving.
He walked over to the cell and looked in.
"GIMLI?!?" He exclaimed
The dwarf yelled and jumped away from Legolas.
"BACK EVIL MONSTER! STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEE!!!!!!!" Gimli yelled
"Gimli? What's wrong? It me, Legolas!" Legolas said
"AH!! Now the monster is trying to make me think that it's my friend! EVIL! YOU ARE NOT LEGOLAS MY FRIEND DOSE NOT LOOK LIKE THAT!!!!" Gimli ranted
Legolas could not figure out what he was talking about for the longest time before he finally realized that he still had the pineapple mask on.
He quickly took it off.
"See? It's me, Legolas. Sorry about that, it's a disguise from the fan girls." He said
"Legolas? What are you doing here?" Gimli asked, "It's VERY dangerous for you here!"
"I'm with Cheesy; we are going to fan girl headquarters." Legolas informed and told Gimli the rest of the story
"So, what are you doing here?" Legolas asked Gimli and sat down of the ground in front of the cell
He found a bag of Girl Scout cookies in his pocket and started munching on them.
"Wanna cookie?" He asked Gimli
Gimli nodded, grabbed the entire bag and shoved them in his mouth.
"Hey! I wanted some!" Legolas said
"You were not fed pink fluffy food for 2 weeks!" Gimli exclaimed and licked the chocolate out of the bag, "Got any more?"
Legolas rolled his eyes, "Dwarves!"
"Elves!" Gimli replied and tossed the empty bag at Legolas' head
"Yeah, so are you going to tell me why you are in there?" said Legolas angry that his precious cookies were taken and the empty bag was just throw at his head
"Okay, Well it all started when minding my own business and simply walking through this forest when I was attacked by strange girls! They said that I knew the 'Hot elf' and that I might have information. So they took me and brought me down here. It was horrible Legolas! They made me watch teletubbies and Brittney Spears and that evil evil evil animated version because I didn't know where you were! They thought I just wasn't telling so they made me watch it AGAIN!!!!!!" Gimli informed
"That's terrible. No one should have to watch that stuff." Legolas said
"I know. So, can you get me out of here?!" Gimli asked
Legolas smiled, "Maybeeee…"
"Don't play games with me elf!" Gimli warned
"You ate my cookies!" Legolas said and pouted
"I was hungry! I haven't had anything good to eat in over two weeks!" Gimli said
"But they were mine and I wanted them!" Legolas said
"What happened to you elf? Was Cheesy spoiling you again?" Gimli asked
"Maybe," Legolas said.
Gimli sighed, "You are impossible!"
"Yes I am!" Legolas said with a smile
Gimli rolled his eyes, "So ARE you going to get me out of here?"
"Maybe," Legolas replied.
"What do you want?" Gimli said hoping he could make a deal with the elf
"I want cookies." Legolas said
"I like cookies." Legolas replied
"Whatever, fine. Get me out of here and I will get you more cookies." Gimli said
"I don't believe you." Legolas said
Gimli sighed loudly, "Well, what can I do to make you believe me?"
"Get me a cookie." Legolas replied with a smile
"I WILL WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE!"
"But, I wanna cookie now!"
Gimli grumbled something along the lines of 'stupid elf'.
"What was that?" Legolas asked, "Was it about my cookies that you ate?"
Yeah. That's what I said." Gimli replied
"So, are you going to get me cookies?"
"Are you going to get me out of here?"
Gimli screamed in frustration.
"Please get me out of here?!!"
"Just get me out of here! I WANT OUT NOW AND IF YOU DO NOT LET ME OUT I WILL MAKE SURE THAT YOU NEVER EVER GET ANOTHER COOKIE AS LONG AS YOU LIVE!" Gimli exclaimed
"But, I'm immortal, so that means that means no more cookies FOREVER!!!!!" Legolas yelled
Gimli nodded, "Exactly."
"You are an evil, evil dwarf!" Legolas said and pointed at Gimli
"Now get me out of here or I swear that will happen. NO MORE COOKIES FOR THE STUPID ELF!" Gimli yelled
"I am not stupid."
"Yes you are! I think Cheesy is killing your brain cells with so many cookies!"
"No, and just for that, I'm going to leave!" Legolas said and stared to walk away
"Fine then, I will make sure that you never eat another cookie as long as you live." Gimli said evilly
"And how are you going to do that from in there?" Legolas asked
"I have my ways." Gimli replied
"Yeah right." Legolas said and took another bag of cookies out of his pocket.
"I warning you don't eat them. They are now cursed!" Gimli warned
Legolas rolled his eyes and ate the bag of cookies.
Gimli shook his head, "I now feel really bad for you."
"What? I feel fine." Legolas said
"Not for long, look behind you." Gimli said
"Okay wha-HOLEY CHEESE! What is that!?" Legolas exclaimed and looked at the black shadow with orangey red fire eyes
"Hello Legolas, or should I say 'Elfy'?" The black shadow said
"That's what Casey used to call me! Are you Casey?!" Legolas asked the shadow
"NO! I'M NOT CASEY YOU SLOB!" the shadow replied, "You didn't listen to the dwarf slob so now you must face my wrath!"
"Slob? But- NORUAS! You are Noruas!" Legolas exclaimed
"You just HAD to ruin my moment didn't you!?" Noruas the pink cat and spirit of Sauron said and stepped out of the shadows
"Well, sorry but you what are you going to do?" Legolas asked the cat
"Hmm, eat your hair." Noruas replied board tone
"NOOOOOO! DON'T YOU DARE!" Legolas exclaimed
"There is nothing that you can do to stop me slob!" Noruas replied
Legolas sighed, "Wanna cookie?"
The pink cat smiled, "Sure! I love cookies!"
Legolas gave the cat a cookie and Noruas quickly eat it.
"YUMMY! Those are good slob cookies! If you give me another slob cookie I will forget about the eating your hair thing." Noruas said
"Okay!" Legolas said and happily gave the cat another cookies
Gimli banged is head against the bars of the cell.
"That is the last time I use the spirit of Sauron as a curse upon Legolas." He mumbled
After making Noruas promise that he wouldn't eat his hair Legolas picked the evil pink cat up and put Noruas on his head.
Noruas swooshed his tail and purred happily.
Legolas told Noruas that he was willing to put his hatred for cats behind him and move on with his life.
Of course, Noruas had no clue what Legolas was talking about. Legolas said that it involved a cat food commercial and an evil grandma.
Noruas no longer wanted to know after that was said.
"Let's go, pink kitty!" Legolas said and started walking off with Noruas perched on his head
"NO! WHAT ABOUT ME?!" Gimli exclaimed
"Oh, yeah." Legolas said and took the keys off the wall
THANK YOU!" Gimli exclaimed after the door was open, "Now, let's get out of here!"