Hey, thanks for the great reviews. This is such a fluffy piece for me. The demon is very lame and fluffy, but hey, what do you expect. I know, too unbelievable. So, I hope you like and hope that it's a little funny, since that's not my thing. Enjoy and remember, please, please review. Thanks a bunch.
P.S.—OK, I forgot to say, some strong language and a little friskiness, so if that bothers you, sorry. I just wanted to hear Wesley actually say something out of character in the second season.
Chapter Five – Pet Names and Really Bad Words
Gunn was whistling, yes whistling when he arrived the next morning. It had been quiet all night, he'd actually gotten a good night's sleep, and Cordelia was treating him fine. He could feel that she actually cared about him, at least just a little.
When she had suggested they go out for lunch, it had wigged him for a moment, but then he thought, "What the hell," and went in it with his eyes open. He still thought that maybe she was up to something, but at least she was being nice about it.
"Hey babe. What's cookin'?" Cordy yelled to him as he entered the lobby. Oh, and she called him some pet name, not some Mr. So-and-so-gonna-kick-your-ass name she always had in her brain. Even if she did want something, he might even give it to her if she kept acting this way toward him.
"Nothin' much. Where is everyone?"
"Not around just yet. Just me and my coffee." Gunn could see Cordy's coffee mug sitting on the counter, with her newspaper right next to it. It looked to Gunn that she'd been reading the Sports page when he walked in.
"Didn't know you liked any kind of sports, Cordy?" he told her as he approached her perch behind the front desk.
"Oh, here and there. Remember I was a cheerleader in high school. We actually had to watch some of the games." She smiled at him. She always did have a really beautiful smile. "I was just looking up the basketball scores when you walked in."
Cordy took his hand in hers to pull him close to look at the newspaper together. He could smell her scent, mixed with that bitter coffee she seemed to now like. That coffee was worse than that chain store stuff. They made it so strong, he thought sometimes that he'd need a knife to cut it. Not that Cordy could ever make a pot any better. That's why he always got his from the diner down the street.
"Charles, have I ever told you that you have the best eyes. I really like the color of them. So kind and gentle."
Ha, he thought. No one had ever called him kind and gentle. Maybe his sister Alonna had once said that, a long, long time ago, before she died. He couldn't remember anyone else ever calling him that. He didn't know what to say to her.
"Thanks," was all that came out. And, oh, she was making googly eyes at him. That's what his grandmother used to say about how his grandfather used to look at her as a young lady. He'd look at her when he would want to kiss her with googly eyes. Cordy had that same look, he just knew. It scared him down to his toes. More than vampires, more than demons, more than Angel turning.
"Thanks. So what was the score on the game last night?" Gunn changed the subject quickly.
"Not sure. I just opened the paper up." Cordelia bent over the counter to open the paper up, giving Gunn an incredible view of her breasts. Not going there, he thought, even though it was hard to tear his eyes away. I'm just a guy. A guy with a sick sense of what's right and wrong.
Cordelia took a sip of her coffee and gave him a wicked grin. "You know, Charles. We should go to a game some time. I could even wear my old cheerleader outfit afterwards if you like."
The visions in his head should not be there. Cordelia in a very short skirt and tight top. Sort of like she was wearing right at the moment. He moved ever so closer to her. She looked up at him, batting her eyelashes at him and grinning.
"Good morning everyone," Wesley called from the front door. Gunn jumped back about ten feet, banging his shin on a chair in the process. Cordelia was still grinning at him.
"Mornin', Wesley," he managed to grumble out. The man did have impeccable timing. Saving him from Cordelia. Who would have thought?
"Hello Cordelia," Wesley chimed in. The woman turned her head and smiled. The same smile she had just given Gunn. This was just getting too weird.
"Hello sweetheart. Did you have a good, quiet night?"
Wesley scowled at her. The woman never said something like that. The pet names, and now asking if he had a quiet night. Good Lord, she sounded a little too much like him. Gunn's face mirroring his own surprise made him think that something was up. Cordelia was not that good of an actress. Or was she?
"I had a quiet night, thank you. Anything going on today?"
"Nothing, unfortunately. Very boring."
Both men shook their heads in agreement. Too quiet for the both of them.
"I'll just see to that thing that I had to finish. Gunn, could you accompany me into Angel's office. I want you to look that thing over for a moment." Something which Gunn never did, but Cordelia didn't seem to catch on.
"Yeah, that thing. Sure, whatever."
Gunn followed him into the office. Wesley quietly shut the door behind him.
"I . . . " Wesley started.
"We . . . " Gunn answered.
"Something . . . " Wesley tried to say.
"This is just too weird," Gunn finally finished.
"Bloody hell," Wesley cursed, rubbing his hands over his face. He usually never cursed unless absolutely necessary. This was one of those rare times.
"What do we do? Exorcism? Demon possession thing? OK, smart guy, we need to fix this ASAP." Gunn sat down on the couch, mimicking Wesley's gesture of rubbing his hands over his face.
"Yes, definitely. But what if we're wrong. What if she did have an epiphany? We'd look dreadfully foolish performing an exorcism for no particular reason." Wesley started pacing, trying to figure out a solution in his head.
"At least it would make me feel better. Listen, you talk to her some more. Maybe get her to confess what she wants. I need to get out of here for a little while. She's really starting to crawl under my skin, if you know what I mean."
After Gunn left, Wesley watched Cordelia for a few moments, then pulled down a few books from the shelf on possession. He'd like to get a head start just in case a theory presented itself.
"What are you doing, Wes hon?" Cordelia said, startling him. He slammed the book closed quickly.
"Just catching up on some of my reading while it's quiet." Wesley was sitting at Angel's desk. He hoped that the barricade would hold against her.
"That just sounds so boring. Why don't you come back to your desk and maybe we'll play Space Invaders on the computer or something." As she said that, she moved to the desk and bent over, giving him complete view of her bosom.
Wesley didn't move a muscle. The woman was trying to seduce him. Why on earth would she do that?
"I don't think that's such a great idea at the moment. Cordelia, how have you been feeling lately?" Wesley was trying so hard not to look at her chest. Instead he concentrated on her face alone.
"Not too bad, visions aside." She made her way around the desk and trapped Wesley in Angel's chair.
"No weird headaches, strange things happening. No demon attacks of any sort?"
"You are such a silly man." Cordelia took off his glasses and set them on the desk.
"Cordelia, I can't see without my glasses. Could you please give them back to me?" Wesley was afraid of moving a muscle. He just sat in the chair, trying to think of something to do to stop the inevitable.
"I don't think you need to see. Besides I'll be really close to you." Cordelia leaned over, face inches from his. Maybe if I don't breath, she'll think I'm a vampire and stop what she's doing. But if I don't breath, I'll pass out. Not very logical, he thought, but nothing was very logical in his mind at the moment.
Cordelia moved to place her lips right near his ear. He finally let go of the breath he held. "Do you think this is wise?" Dammit, he should have had Gunn stay.
"You smell like old books, tea and yummy aftershave. Do you know how much that turns me on?"
Not as much as you breathing in my ear, he thought. The woman had completely lost her marbles. When she thought he was some James Bond wannabe she was attracted to him back in Sunnydale. When she discovered that he was a bumbling fool, well, then the affections had stopped. What had changed her mind so abruptly in such a short amount of time?
"Cordelia, maybe you should . . . " She bit his ear, then kissed the bite. "Oh dear," Wesley managed to get out.
"Yes dear," Cordelia answered as her lips moved to his. This is not right, this is not right, he chanted in his mind. He was taking advantage of her. Why was he still kissing her? He tried to resist, he really did.
When she climbed into his lap, practically giving him a lap dance, his mind told him to stop her. His hands and lips had a mind of their own and told him no.
"I want you," Cordelia told him in between kisses and gropes.
"What?" he answered in between the same. His brain heard her. He tried to break contact between them, but she was just too strong.
"We have to stop," Wesley managed to get out before her lips descended once again.
"I want you now." Several of her buttons on her shirt had popped open during the exchange.
"No. This is not right." Now Wesley started to struggle. Best friendness won out over his horniness. At least, it did for the moment.
"What the hell is going on in here?" Angel growled from the doorway.
"Angel, help?" Wesley chirped as Cordelia grabbed for vital parts.
"Get up, Pryce." Angel was seething mad. Here Cordelia was making out with Wesley. And he didn't know why it made him intensely jealous.
Cordelia slithered out of Wesley's lap, but not before biting his bottom lip. "You want to join too. Not usually my scene, but for the two of you, I'd do anything."
"What?" Wesley squeaked.
"Never," Angel whispered. He'd never share her with anyone else. "We need to talk Wesley." Cordelia seemed to have him spellbound as she walked over to him. She pulled his head down into a kiss that scorched his brain.
Luckily for him, it also woke him up somewhat. Her hands grabbed everywhere. His hands tried to stop her. "Cordelia, I don't think this is a good idea."
He saw Wesley coming up from behind Cordelia with rope in his hands. "We need to tie her up somehow. To stop her."
The man was daft. No one was going to tie up his Cordelia. Angel's hand shot out and decked the man. Wesley went flying across the room and crashed over his desk, into his favorite chair.
"Let's go somewhere more comfortable, Angel. Just you and me. Since he doesn't want to share. You could have shared, you know," Cordelia shot back at Wesley, who was now slumped behind Angel's desk, probably seeing stars.
Angel picked her up to take her into the next room. He was tempted to have another cup of that coffee, but now he was fully awake and able to handle the hellcat in his arms. He swept the empty cup onto the floor, placing Cordelia on the counter, climbing up with her.
"I just did not see you do that. Cordelia, get away from him. Bad Angel is back and I'm staking his ass." Gunn had come in and spoiled his fun.
"It's not his fault, Gunn. He's not evil. At least I don't think he is," Wesley yelled from the office door.
The two on the counter kept making out, oblivious to the two other men. Both hesitated, trying to figure out what to do. One strong vampire and one very hot and bothered woman did not make a good combination.
"We need to pull them apart," Wesley said as he reached the two.
"Yeah, before he gets too happy," Gunn countered.
Both charged the couple, trying to pry them apart.
"Excuse me Cordelia, while I knock these two out." Angel threw one punch, then another, hitting both and sending them sprawling. That in turn sent the happy couple to the floor, with Cordelia landing right on top of him.
"Ow, that hurt," Angel exclaimed as Cordelia kept up her kisses and gropes.
With Angel momentarily stunned, Gunn and Wesley managed to pull her off the vampire. She struggled for a bit, then stopped and smiled at the two.
"Hey Gunn," Cordelia started.
"Oh, no. Don't even think that's even possible. No getting groiny with me."
Wesley pinned her arms behind her back, until her hands started getting frisky with him. "We need rope. Hold her. There's some in the office." Wesley took off, leaving Cordelia in Gunn's hands.
"So, what's all the fuss. I just want to have a little fun. All of us could have fun, you know. Just let me go and I'll show you."
"Let her go," Angel said behind him. Gunn turned to see Angel with a very big sword in his hands. How in hell had he gotten to the weapons cabinet?
"Sure thing, Angel. Here, you can have her." Gunn thrust Cordelia into his arms and fled towards the weapons cabinet himself.
"The rope," Wesley yelled as he re-entered the lobby. "Oh bloody, fucking hell," he grumbled to himself, but loud enough for everyone to hear.
"The stuffy, sexy British man can actually swear. Wonders never cease to amaze me," Cordelia pointed out to Wesley as she dangled from Angel's arm. His other arm had a very large piece of steel pointed at Gunn.
"Angel, there is something wrong with Cordelia. You need to let her go so we can help her."
"Oh, so you can have another make-out session with her in my office." Angel held her close as she kissed his jaw and neck.
"You what?" Gunn snapped back.
"It wasn't me. Something is trying to control us."
"It certainly was you, my sexy British man. You really liked it," Cordelia purred.
"Don't call me that."
"Listen. Are we gonna fight, because I'm really getting tired and I need to have my beauty sleep."
"We are living in a nightmare, man," Gunn finished.
"Put the sword down, Angel. We need to talk about this," Wesley told him as he advanced slowly towards the two intertwined people.
"Yeah, put the sword down, honey. Not much huggy, kissy with only one hand. Besides, I really do think that sexy British man would like to join us."
"She just didn't say that. I'm going to have nightmares tonight for sure."
Wesley got close enough to Angel without getting impaled. "Angel, we need to talk."
"OK. You're right," Angel concluded. "But not before some swordplay." He swung at Wesley, barely missing his ear. Wesley ducked, then rolled to the side before Angel had time to think.
Gunn advanced, trying to keep Angel occupied so Wesley could come up with a plan.
"Plan?" Gunn asked as he fought off Angel.
"Working on it," Wesley growled back. Cordelia attached herself to Wesley again and put her tongue in his ear. "Not now." He sat her down, looking for something to subdue the very strong vampire. He found a brick that had been helping prop a table up. The table fell the side with a bang, sending the coffee maker crashing to the ground.
Wesley made his way over to Angel, who luckily had his back turned fighting Gunn, to smash him over the head with the brick. Angel fell like a literal ton of bricks.
"Nightly night. Sleep tight. Man, he is going to kick our asses when he wakes up."
Wesley stalked over to Cordelia, pulling her up from her seat. "Now, what in bloody fucking hell is going on here?"
"OK, OK. Don't know. Don't care. I just need more coffee and you broke it. Beans everywhere. Help me pick them up and I'll make it worth your wile." Cordelia bent down to start picking up coffee beans that had traveled when he had pulled the brick out from underneath the table.
"That's it. We need a priest or shaman or whatever to exorcise whatever demon is possessing her." Gunn went to pull Cordelia up off the ground.
Wesley didn't know what to think. There could be any number of demons possessing or causing Cordelia to act out of character, but to affect Angel too?
"That's just gross. Stop that right now," Gunn told Cordelia.
Wesley saw that Cordelia was actually eating the beans.
"Mmmm," Cordelia moaned.
Wesley grabbed her arm and put his hand out. "Spit them out, now."
She complied. "You were always such a spoilsport."
"You know, I do not like being hit on the head with heavy objects, guys. That hurt."
All three turned to see Angel, in full vamp face, standing with a sword in his hands.
"Uh oh," Cordelia pointed.
"Finally, a word out of her mouth that makes sense," Gunn answered.
"Run," Wesley yelled.
Wesley grabbed Cordelia's hand, who in turn grabbed Gunn's hand. They ran for the front door, but Angel blocked their way.
"Not going outside. Not playing fair."
Wesley threw the brick he had in his other hand and ran, towing the other two behind him. He took the first door he found as he charged down the corridor.
"Basement is so not a good idea at the moment," Cordelia told him as he tripped down the stairs.
"Not a lot of options at the moment, Cordelia."
Gunn slammed the door behind him, bringing up the rear. "There another door to the street?"
"Somewhere around here, I remember seeing one," Wesley told him.
"Come out, come out wherever you are," Angel called from the top of the steps. They were far enough in from the steps that Angel couldn't see them right away.
"I found the door," Cordelia announced. "Now, who brought a weapon so we can fight that scary demon and get through it before Angel makes snacks of us."
"Hi, guys," the demon waved to them.
"What . . . "
"Bloody fu . . . " Cordelia cut him off.
"Boy, I hope that isn't going to be your expression from now on because it's wigging me out."
Angel stopped right behind them, dropping the sword to his side. "I really would like some more of that coffee right now, but you know what I'd rather do?"
The three turned to see Angel look at their necks, practically salivating.
"I'd rather kick some demon butt."
Angel pushed past them to do battle with the demon by the door. He and the demon struggled for a few moments, until Angel got the upperhand. He pinned the demon's torso down (maybe that's what it was, no one could tell) and pointed his sword at it.
"OK, now you are going to reverse whatever spell you did to Cordelia."
"And to the three of you," the demon added.
"And to the three of us right now or you'll be shishkabab in two seconds flat."
"No problem." The demon chanted for a minute or so.
Cordelia pinched both Wesley and Gunn's behinds. Both yelped like girls.
"It didn't work," Wesley pointed out to Angel.
Cordelia snickered and turned to leave. "Oh, yeah, it did. Just kidding." She grinned at them, telling the two she was just playing, not seducing.
"Let's take a walk," Angel told the demon.
"Sun," Gunn pointed out.
"In the sewers," Angel finished.
Angel took the demon by its scruff and led it away.
"Whoa. That was just too freaky. And what happened in Angel's office?"
Wesley looked at Gunn in the eye. "I have no idea." Better to leave Gunn and everyone else in the dark. He was just hoping that Cordelia didn't remember.
"It was the coffee," Cordelia stated the obvious.
"So it would seem. The spell wrecked enough havoc. The coffee was just meant for you to drink. He could control your actions much more closely. He just didn't count on Angel drinking it."
"Oh, and it was vile," Angel pointed out.
"Why did you drink it then?" Gunn asked.
"I came down. I needed a pick-me-up and I saw it sitting there. Downed the whole cup on a big gulp. I really didn't care for the taste, I just needed a jolt. I haven't been . . . "
"Sleeping well lately," the three finished his sentence.
"We should probably look into that," Wesley told him.
"I'll be OK, Wesley."
"Did I do anything to embarrass myself? I mean, what'd I do?"
Cordelia wanted to know what she did under the influence of the demon. Whew, she didn't remember, each of the men sighed.
"You were nice," Angel said.
"You made me dinner," Wesley added.
"You helped me clean the weapons," Gunn added too.
"That's not so bad. So I was nice to you guys. Like I'm not now. Give me some money Angel."
Each man turned his head to hers.
"I need to buy a new coffeemaker. The one that somehow got smashed in whatever fight that took place up here."
All three looked off like they were remembering some great dream. Cordelia was so not liking their expressions. They each looked happy. Like maybe she made them happy. But not too happy.
I know, lame demon. Just didn't feel like them killin' anyone at the moment. So much angst to come. I just wanted to pull Cordelia out of character for a moment in time. Hope you enjoyed!! Thanks for reading.