Alright, if this is shown as a update, I am truly sorry. I was looking through this story the other day and I saw some mistakes in my beginnings and just little things that were very noticeable. To say the least, it drove me up the wall. Is perfectionism a personality flaw? Not that I am perfect…but anyways, I was just doing some spring cleaning on this story, there is still much more to come.

Just a hint, if you do stick around to read this, at the end of the last chapter I posted, there's the beginning of the new chapter I am writing, tell me what you think.



Rating: This story is rated R for language and for sexual references

Disclaimer: I really don't own anything in this story; all things that I wrote about were based off of J.K Rowling's series.

Both Sides, Now



'Rows and flows of angel hair'

Love is a very complex thing; it's full of passion, faith, life and death. Two completely different words in that, life and death. It's funny because love can bring life - it can bring life into the coldest heart or it can bring life into the depths of winter when there is no other hope, and this is where faith comes in. Well actually it's more like blind faith. Love can mean taking the greatest plunge of your life and hoping that all the wrongs will right themselves. This is what's known as faith.

Then there is passion; the fiery heat that consumes even the best of us, though no one can achieve passion without opening their cold, lifeless heart to the faith of love. At the end of the cycle, death. Now not all love ends in death, some may even start with it. But death is what we all dread, that one day our blissful, passionate relationship will end. For some this may have happened more than once, and then there are the exceptional few who have not felt it, but they are the ones that have clearly not taken that blind leap of faith into love. Some may think that this outlook is specifically for lovers, for couples, but it's truly for all of us.

And may I correct myself when I said that some have not felt death. The fact is that everyone loves someone. I know it sounds like some horrible cliché, but I can guarantee that everyone has felt the passion and life in love, whether it be a parent and sibling or a significant other, everyone will fall into its trap. Everyone will fall into its trap and give their soul and life and everything they have into love, and that is when death comes, when you have poured your life into it. Yes, indeed it does sound depressing, but what isn't really? My life was depressing until I felt love. Believe it, I was one of those cold heartless people who felt all I needed in life was my mind and spirit. But believe me when I say, boy was I wrong. Before I met him I was free, I was independent, I was lonely but what the hell I was free, free to do as I wished, when I wished and where I wished. Then he came into my little world and shook me off my high horse that I was sitting on into a new world. Into his world, a world where I felt passion, I felt life; I believed and eventually felt death. But when asked if I would do it again I would, without hesitation, answer with my head bobbing up and down foolishly. Because as I said, it's a trap, once you get it, you can never get out. You constantly crave it. In my case, I craved for his lips, for his touch. I would give my soul to run my hands through his hair. He's my little addiction, my sin. For six long years I could have cared less about the world around me and much less the people in it. One boy tried to enter my haven: I rejected him. For the past two years he tried again and again to break down my barrier. And believe me, once he did it wasn't the only barrier he broke of mine. Last year, when my guard was down, he stumbled into my world and shook it as hard as he could. That was when I fell; I took that plunge and fell into his arms, into passion, into life. I, the unshakeable Lily Evans had been shaken by the irresistible James Potter, my addiction, my sin.

Now this entire mess started in my fifth year at Hogwarts. I was minding my own business studying in the Gryffindor common room - well since it was two years ago, I can admit, I was looking at my Prefect badge, and I'm not afraid to deny it. James Potter strode into the room with his head held high and hands shoved deeply into his gray slack pockets. He was apparently whistling, but I never heard him. I was in my own little world as you remember. Well he sat down beside me and watched me turn the badge around in my fingers.

"Very entrancing, isn't it?" he said.

I must have jumped a foot in the air because when I landed he grinned.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. My friend – Remus - has been doing that to his a lot lately."

I nodded politely as I put it into my robe pocket, looking down into my lap to hide my blush. How did he just creep up on me like that? As I found out later, he is a very good sneaker.

"You're Lily Evans, right?" I nodded again; I tended to do that more than talk, kept me secretive. Guys dig secretive. "Well Lily it's nice to put a face to the name even if it has been five years, better late then never I always say."

The corner of my mouth twitched and I bit my lip. No wonder he's known for his charm. His elbow rested on the top of the couch inches from my shoulder, boy was it hot in there. He looked up at the ceiling; his neck stretched and his eyes darted toward the fireplace and then back to my face.

"And you are you?" I asked. He looked surprised. Well that's a bit of an understatement; he looked completely and utterly shocked.

But of course I knew who he was. He was the irresistibility sexy James Potter. I knew his type, playing low until they knew me well enough. Though at the time he was no different than any of the others who have tried this approach before, I would simply show or tell him I was not interested, which sometimes is not always easy.

"I'm sorry, how terribly rude, I am James Potter," he said. I must say he covered up very nicely. He had a small grin on his face as he said this.

I put out my hand. "Well Mr. Potter, it is nice to put a name to the face, even if it has been five years. Though I can see that I couldn't but off meeting you any longer."

The corner of his eyebrow rose. I had a very sick feeling that he was somehow enjoying this.

We sat in silence for a while, and I could tell that his confidence was building as well as his ego; he was going to crack any second.

"Are you always this quiet, or is it just around incredibly handsome guys?" He smirked running his hand through his hair, nervous habit of his, I tried to break it, but I can see why it's so hard.

I sighed and rolled my neck to face him for the first time since he sat down. Green met chocolate, gross, green chocolate, but anyways I said, "Don't flatter yourself Mr. Potter, you're not the first one." I tucked my book under my arm and headed towards my dorm without looking back. This was the first of many defence strategies that I had to learn this year. With every step I took up the stairs, my heart sunk. For a moment down there, just for one moment, I let my guard down. But what really got me was the fact that he almost got in. For that instant he almost made me laugh and look at him with the same emotion that he has seen from nearly every girl in the school, lust. Then again it was truly a bittersweet rejection, which played out in my favour. He almost had taken his advantage over me with his suave Casanova lines, but oh no. I made him believe that he had gotten the best of me, which is partly true, and then completely ran it into his face. Bet Mr. Potter wasn't ready for that. Next time, he won't even get within ten feet of me. Because as I thought, I was untouchable.


'Clouds got in my way'

As every man knows we never give in, it's this dominance thing that seems to be in our blood and will be continually till the end of time. And with dominance comes challenge. So for example, let's take a lion, out in Africa. They are the pride of their land, they own it, they control it, they are in charge. Hence the name King of the Jungle. There is the leader of the pack, the great male; he's the hunter, the protector and the lover. So one day he could be strolling his land when he spots his prey, the delicious antelope. He slowly creeps up waiting for the precise moment and then BAM! He jumps towards the nearest one, but no, it got away. But not without a scratch. This lion now pursues his prey till its death, which won't be that long since he's just that good.

Now imagine myself, James Potter, as the clever, cunning lion and Lily Evans as my antelope, my prey. My friends thought I was mad when I mentioned this. "Lily Evans?" they said. "Lily Evans? Are sure mate?" I nearly killed Peter when I said I was never been so sure in my life. My best mate Sirius just shook his shaggy head and Remus had a weird sort of smile on his face, personally it creeped me out a little. But I said it then and I will say it now, she is my challenge. I used that for a pick up line once, all I got was a hand print on my cheek, who would think mentioning that you are a guys challenge could made a girl so, so aggravated. But this time it's true, Lily Evans is my challenge.

She was in solitude for the first five years of Hogwarts. I was planning on changing that straight away, the only problem was that I wasn't expecting her to be so damn hard. The first day that I realized this was right after I came back from the library and yes I was studying, is that so hard to believe? Well I walked into the Gryffindor common room to see Lily sitting on the sofa, her head hunched over, red tresses no doubt falling off her shoulders. I was whistling Somewhere Over the Rainbow, as I know now it's called. At the time it was just the tune of the song my mother used to sing to me as a child. I walked over and sat down beside her. She must not have noticed since the Prefect badge she was fiddling with was still exchanging fingers. This was when I first realized that it was going to be so hard, any girl that I have ever sat beside had always tensed up, like I was going to hurt them. I would never do that; sometimes I'm a bit…aggressive, but who isn't? She still didn't seem to notice me so I said, "Very entrancing, isn't it?" This finally brought her back to life, but really seemed to scare her; she jumped a few inches off the sofa when she heard my voice. I seemed to have that effect on all women.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. My friend – Remus - has been doing that to his a lot lately." I said. This wasn't really true, Remus is not really that self-absorbed to be mesmerized by a shiny object, but he's about the only one in our group who would be able to say that without lying. I also wanted to make conversation.

She nodded slightly and stuffed the badge into her pocket, a blush rising in her pale face. I must have caught her off guard.

"You're Lily Evans right?" I asked. She nodded again, that secretive thing was really making me sweat. "Well Lily it's nice to put a name to the face even if it has been five years, better late then never I always say." This again was another lie, how could I have not known the smartest, sexiest girl in my year? This also concluded my second realization that this was a tough job, girls automatically started to giggle and squirm as soon as I began to talk to them. The most I got out of Lily was a little red in the checks and twitch at the corner of her mouth, that could just be because it's hot in there, well at least I thought it was. But trust me at that point that was all I needed and before I could tame my words they just came out. "Are you always this quiet, or is it just around incredibly handsome guys?" If she didn't slap me then I told myself I would be getting it later. I heard her sigh and then she turned to look at me for the first time. Chocolate mixed with green, hum interesting, green chocolate, that would be something worth trying, but anyways, I could see that I was very close to crossing the line, dangerously close, in fact I could have already done it.

"Don't flatter yourself Mr. Potter, you're not the first one." What the hell was that supposed to mean? Had more guys hit on her? Well I know the answer to that one, she's untouchable, but every guy from here to Timbuktu has tried to get a piece of her. But more importantly she spoke. She spoke to me! I know it sounds childish, but you just don't understand, this was Lily Evans, the saint, the good girl, the virgin, which despite rumours is true, I should know, because that was the best shag of my life. This was also strike three as the muggles call it, she had completely rejected the Potter charm. She led me to thinking that I was getting somewhere then WHAM! It's shoved up me arse. This is what fascinated me about her, it was and still is mind-boggling the power she had over me. Because as soon as she left I felt like the lowest piece of shit on the planet. She was just so innocent, it seemed like I just spoiled her with my words and intensions. But oh no, this was not going to get the best of me. Lily Evans is my challenge, my prey.


'It's cloud illusions I recall'

I did it, I did it, I kept telling myself, I beat the Potter Charm. Yes, he does have a name for his personality traits. The only way I knew this was because earlier on, at supper, the only available seat was two down from James, they happened to be talking about his newest victim, Samantha Turner. She was about the only girl in Hogwarts who showed more cleavage in a day than she showed brains in her five years there. This could be a statement clamed under jealousy, but no, I'm not that superficial. Well anyways I went into my room and flopped on my bed. How did he do this? I completely trashed him for getting fresh with me and then I was the one who felt crummy. Jerk.

Well sleep came very difficult for me that night, no boy had ever come that close. Around three I figured out that it was just a scare, a really big scare and that he would stay away from me for the rest of the year. God, was I blind.

The next morning the only seat again open was next to James Potter. I sat down hoping that he wouldn't notice me, but since when had James ever missed a beat? I stared ahead looking at the dish of rolls, not daring to make eye contact. I could feel him looking at the side of my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him open his mouth to say something, but someone else got his attention.

"James I – oh sorry mate," Sirius smirked as he glanced over to Peter and Remus. "Or should I say, sorry Lily, you were about to get very lucky."

Remus punched him hard on his shoulder and Peter covered his mouth to hide his laughter.

I reached over and picked up a roll and stuffed it into my bag, "Not to worry Sirius, you just saved your friend from yet another disappointment. See you in class."

At that time Professor McGonagall came around to pass out our timetables for the year. She handed one to me and questioned me about the anger that was clearly visible in my eyes.

"No one is bothering me Professor," I replied, shooting a cold look in James' direction. Funny enough he didn't appear to be looking up, instead his head hung over his plate, his fork picking through his hot cakes. I turned back and smiled at Professor McGonagall and left the great hall. God he had done it again, and this time he didn't even speak. What was so different about him to block out than Sirius, Severus, or Peter? It was his charm, I decided, that Potter Charm. I clenched my fists and stomped off to the dungeons for our first potions class.

As I walked into the class I took a seat near the back - most people thought I would go for the front, but I like to change it up a little. Well, I sat down and started to pull out my textbook when the 'Marauders' walked in. Yes, that was and is what they call themselves; childish, very childish, yet strangely sexy on the right person. I looked at the four boys who apparently had just been told a wickedly good joke or pulled some stupid prank, or else they wouldn't have been laughing so hard. James caught my eye for a second and his laugh faded to a small smile. I bent my head and read the title of my book for the tenth time.

I kept my head down, and slowly the class started to fill up with Gyffindors and Slytherins alike. I heard Professor Lange start scratching the ingredients to a very important potion on the board, but still I swore to myself that I would not look up. This did kill me, truly it did, I am a very studious person and when the opportunity to learn is there I snatch it like it's Honey duke's fudge. The main reason for not looking up was because James was sitting just in front of me, and no doubt, with his disregard for any standing rule, turned around in some odd way for it to not look noticeable, staring at me. I must admit I found that very flattering, then again I always did. I couldn't possibly imagine anyone looking at me of their own free will, even I wouldn't do that if I had the choice. I decided to take a chance and look up. James was not watching me, he was whispering over something with Sirius. One out of two isn't bad, he was breaking a rule. I took out my parchment and quill and began to copy down the notes. It took me awhile, it never usually did but today was different. Every two seconds I had to look at the back of James Potter's head, it was like a nervous habit, and I hated it. This boy was going to drive me insane, God he didn't even have to look at me to feel his power.

Finally the lesson ended, with only minor bumps and bruises. The brilliant idiot I know as Sirius Black decided it would be great fun to drop stink bombs into people's cauldrons when they weren't looking. The distraction was of course caused by James throwing some quiet insult at the boys, and disappearing before they could retaliate. Now with the girls, this was very entertaining to watch. He flirted with them, oh yes - there was another notch grooved into my heart; and generally had a date set up for the following night. Sirius never did anything to their potions though, he was too distracted by other assets of their bodies to care whether or not to place stink bombs in the pot of broiling sludge.

I shook my head as I walked out into the cold, damp corridor. I started to make my way to Transfigurations when a hand was placed on my shoulder. I spun around pulling my wand out of my robe. James' hand flew off my shoulder, and he raised both in the air.

"I just wanted to talk, no need for duelling."

I looked into his eyes and I saw honesty, respect and a touch of fear in them. My job was done. I put my wand away and continued to walk up the stairs.

"What is there to talk about, James?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. " I just- I guess I just wanted to apologize for last night. I feel like I made you uncomfortable, and that was not very gentleman-like of me."

I turned around and looked him square in his face. Fear had defiantly become more dominant.

"Not very gentleman-like? When have you ever been gentleman-like?"

I turned back around and walked down the corridor, I could have cared less about what was running through his mind at the time, or maybe I did. I was very confused. The footsteps behind me seemed to stop; I kind of missed the sound. No sooner had I gotten used to silence three pairs of footsteps hurried up behind me, followed shortly by an arm being wrapped around my shoulder.

"Bugger off Sirius, I'm not in the mood."

"Wow you sound just like James."

That was when I snapped. I shrugged his arm of and slapped him across the cheek. He dropped his bag and reached into his robe for his wand.

"Sirius, no," Remus warned. Sirius stopped and looked up at me from under his eyelashes.

"I told you, Black, that I wasn't in the mood. You play with fire you get burnt," I hissed. I gave a nod to Remus and Peter, who were now holding Sirius back and then went into the Transfiguration class room, to realize that this class would go the same way as Potions had. As for the other two classes that day refer back to potions. Then the classes for the rest of the year, again refer back to Potions.


'Rain and snow on everyone'

The fire was very insightful that night, actually was more distracting than anything. I, for one, get distracted very easily which would make me a horrible lion, this contradicts with everything that I said about me being a lion, but that was for show I am really more like a stag. You know peaceful and quite, but when pissed, oh boy you better watch out. A stag is my animagus form. To be honest with you I was quite disappointed when I found out that was what I was, I was hoping for a lion, or something really cool. Sirius got a dog, quite and useful, especially on my behalf. I remember when he would change into his dog form and I would leash him and take him to the park, great ways to meet women with that dog, as a human he would just scare them off. Yes but I got a stag, very boring and its not a thing you see everyday so say good-bye to public appearances. A little after the beginning of this year Lily found out I was a stag, she thought it was cute. I love being a stag. But anyways, as you see I don't need a fire to get distracted, so that was a lie.

I tore my eyes away from the flames just in time to see Lily enter her dorm. God she was a minx, completely irresistible. Why couldn't she be like Samantha Turner, fifth year Ravenclaw, now she was easy and cute, actually a bit too cute closer to the point of annoying really, what did I see in her again? Oh right breasts. My mistake. She was a good snog, when did this happen you ask? When I was in the library, sure I told you I was studying, but come on, when have I ever told the truth? Oh but she was completely out of mind my that night, my dreams were full of dancing green eyes that sparkled with laugher, that dream quickly turned into a nightmare about green chocolate, I don't think I'll try it after all.

The next morning I woke up a bit earlier than the others, first off to get away from the green chocolate men that were chasing me, and second off maybe to get a chance to talk to Lily. I was very sorry about the partaking's that happened last night and disparately wanted to apologize, but in the back of my head I knew that wasn't going to happen. So I sat down at the breakfast table, filling up my plate with, my favourite, hot cakes, when Lily came and sat right beside me. This thoroughly confused me since there were plenty of open seats, I thought she hated me? She didn't look my way, just sat down and stared, I looked at the side of her face and I could see in her eyes the anger raising. I opened my mouth to say a quick apology, that's how I do things, quickly yet straight to the point, apologizes among other things. Then Sirius so rudely interrupted me.

"James I – oh sorry mate," He motioned toward Remus and Peter as the took the seats across from me, " or should I say, sorry Lily, you were about to get very lucky." God I was going to kill that man.

She reached over and picked up a breakfast roll and stuffed it in her bag, "Not to worry Sirius, you just saved your friend from yet another disappointment. See you in class."

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Is she speaking in code? What did Sirius save me from? He has never saved me in his life, its not like he ever needed to, but its always nice to have a back up plan don't you think? McGonagall decided to show up with her timetables at that exact moment, could they twist the knife in deeper. She asked Lily what was wrong and I could have sworn that she was going to say me and get me in my first detention of the year but no she said, "No one is bothering me Professor," and walked off. I could feel her stare at the back of my head as she was speaking, but I was to busy looking innocent, and the best way to do that was to not notice, I was being distracted by my hot cakes. See my misfortune comes in handy at times.

McGonagall left to hand out her sheets of death to the other students, turns out we have two classes with the Slytherins, Potions and Charms, that was two too many classes with them in my option. A few minutes later I looked up from my hot cakes to see Sirius smiling at me.


"You know what."

"Nope, I have no ide-"

"It's about Lily and don't act dumb around me."

I sighed and got up from the table, "Mate you know how it is with Lily, just drop it." I don't know why, but it really bothered me to have a friend talking about Lily in such a 'sexual' way. I know mentioning Lily in a sentence doesn't necessarily mean that it's in a sexual way, but when Sirius says it, it just automatically is. I walked away from the table, but they quickly caught up with food dropping out of their bags.

"God James, can't you wait until after breakfast to through a fit, I would like to sit and eat sometimes." Peter said stuffing toast into his mouth.

"Shut it Pete." Remus said hitting him on the shoulder, I shook my head, if those two don't end up killing each other it will amaze me.

"So James my boy, got any action lately, I know you're caught up on you-know-who Evans right now, but hey can't my boy have a little fun?" Sirius laughed hitting me hard on the back so I dropped my last piece of food on the floor.

"Samantha Turner, last night, library about a seven." I answered. You see Padfoot and myself have a ranking system if you will for girls. One is a terrible snog and would highly recommend her to seeing Peter. While as ten is the best, which we would refer her to ourselves and keep her around for a while. You know for sport.

"What about Lily?" Peter asked. I stopped and turned around. Sirius rested a hand on my shoulder and had a sort of a smug look on his face, I hate him, he's much more enjoyable as a dog, better deposition. I chuckled to myself and kept walking.

"If I was fortunate to get within ten feet of her with out having my head cut off, that alone would be worth an eleven."

Sirius shook his head, "You see mate that is where we differ, I would give her about a 8 or a 9 because no one is perfect. In my defence I have gotten within ten feet of her with minor scratches and even then she's not that good. She gorgeous, which goes without saying, but that temper, oh man that temper will get her in Azkaban."

I laughed and shook my head, "No mate, your horrible disposition will end you up there, and the thing is once you're in, you will flirt with the guard, man or women."

Sirius growled at me, dog coming through, and hit me on the back again, "I am very pleased to see that you have come to the fact that I am much more charming than you."

We all laughed at that one. It was a very rare occasion when Sirius came up with a comeback that made sense and plus it wasn't true, the whole joke of that was that he really thought he was better, I don't unleash the Potter Charm on just anyone. We walked into Potions just before the bell still laughing because Sirus had managed to trip on the last three steps. I looked around the classroom to see who was there, when a certain redhead at the back of the room caught my eye. We held each others gaze for a moment, my laugh turning into a gentle smile, or at least what I like to call gentle, some girls call it 'lusty', potato, potado, then I turned back to the guys. We took our seats as Professor Lange came into class, I took careful consideration on where to sit, it was either in front of Lily with Sirius, or beside Lily. I decided on the first since I didn't feel like shoving my tongue down her throat in the middle of Potions, there were Slytherins around and come on, it was bound to happen. Lange began to scribble down some ingredients on the board telling us that they were very important for our O.W.L's. Yah right, it's nothing Moony can't tell us the night before.

"Prongs," Sirius whispered.

I nodded in his direction for him to know that I was listening, and he pulled a ratted piece of parchment out of his pack.

"Just one more thing needs to be added, I can't place my finger on it," Sirius said.

I tapped my quill against my chin and stared at the Marauders Map, our pride and joy. If it were human, a women and old enough to shag, oh man I would do it every night.

"So?" he added.

I took the map out of his hands and placed it on the table in front of me. I said the password under my breath and the school appeared before me. Every thing was labelled from the trick third step on the far east staircase to Dumbledore's fireplace, which comes in very handy for flewing. There were masses of dots in each classroom with the teachers marked. I found our class and Remus Lupin, Peter Petigrew, Sirius Black and James Potter written clearly where we were sitting. I saw a dot behind me that caught my eye, well there were dots on either side of me, but this one was different, I could tell that this one was Lily, then the idea hit me.

"Sirius, why don't we label the students, you know just like the teachers."

He looked like he was thinking for a moment and then smiled, "I love it, we can get Remus to do the rest of the charms tonight."

If he only knew my reasons for suggesting this, he would kill me. I figured that if we put names on the students, which meant Lily, which meant I could see her every movement. Boy was I good, or was I just whipped? Hum…

After what seemed like years the class ended, during that long stretch of useless information, something about test material, I figured now would be as good as time any to apologize to her, you know he brain filled with knowledge, she would be in a good mood, right?

I caught up to her as she was heading up the stairs to the main entrance and placed a hand on her shoulder. In one sexy, fluid movement she had her wand pointed at my throat. Merlin I could have died right there.

"I just wanted to talk, no need for duelling," I said, it was a weird peace offering, but I was really desperate. She looked into my eye and again green mixed with chocolate, oh god the green chocolate men, they're back. Lily looked away and then continued up the stairs, I followed, I was whipped.

"What is there to talk about James?" Minx.

I kept my sexual frustrations to a minimum and ran a hand through my hair, girls loved when I did that, " I just- I guess I just wanted to apologize for last night, I feel like I made you uncomfortable, and that was not very gentlemen like of me." Man was I good; no women would have been able to resist that one. She turned around and looked into my face, damn she has sexy eyes, but to be honest with you, I was terrified. I was in the biting-off-head-zone and Lily is very unpredictable.

"Not very gentlemen like? When have you ever been gentlemen like?" Ouch! Stab a knife in my heart and twist it, god she was fiery. Lily turned back around and headed towards Transfigurations, I started to follow but I wondered that when I caught up to her what I would say, 'Hey yah Lily, wanna jump into this broom closet for a quick shag?" God I would be slapped so hard I wouldn't be able to tell up from down. So I dropped back and waited for the rest. They soon came just in time to see Lily stomp off.

"God James what did you do? Ask her for a quick shag in that broom closet?" Remus smirked.

"No," I said, I guess was a bit guilty for even thinking it, but when was I ever guilty?

"Oh someone's a little touchy feely on the subject," Sirius laughed. I wasn't used to being picked on in school, no one would ever have dared to mess with me, unless of course you were Peter, Remus or Sirius.

"No Padfoot, just drop it." He knows that when I say 'just drop it' it means leave it alone and lets never talk about it again. Sometimes he chose not to know that's what it meant.

"It look's like little Jamie got rejected by Lily flower."

"Sirius, don't," I said, I rarely ever got mad at my friends, if he pushed this conversation any farther it would be one of those times.

"Fine, we'll talk to Lily then." Sirius said some how knowing that going to her would be way worse. So the three of them left me to sulk in my own guilt. No other girl had ever made me do that; I was always the rejecter not the rejectie.

So after a brief conversation with Rebecca Keg, yes I did get a date, I walked into Transfiguration feeling quiet good about myself. I spotted Peter and Remus over at the far side of the room. I walked over and rested both my hands of their shoulders and saw Sirius holding a hand to his cheek.

"What happened to you mate?"

He looked up at me and nodded his head in the direction of Lily, man she keeps getting better and better.

"Oh mate, that's pretty bad, getting beat up by a girl, what's next snogging Snape?"

What was with me and crossing lines, again for the second time in less than a day I was dangerously close to crossing one. I guess that's what was so alluring about them; you know living on the wild side. Lily says it will get me killed, but hey I also have my brains. And speaking of brains, now was a good time to back away from Sirius; he has a mean left hook. I am very surprised that Lily never got a taste of that, even if she is a girl, a gorgeous one at that. I was unfortunate enough at one time to get that left hook, and trust me I don't want it again. I backed away slowly when my feet were caught on a chair and I fell onto it. Expecting it to be another Gryffindor male I foolishly said, "Jesus he can be such a puss at times."

"I wouldn't know." Frick, it was Lily. The one person who I try to impress and I go off making an arse of me self. I turn around to see her looking at me. Her eyes were dull, like the spark had gone out. She looked tired, really tired. This could or couldn't be because of me, but then again it is the first day of school, so yah, it was probably me.

"Sorry Lily, I didn't notice it was you." For once something good came out of my mouth. Praise Merlin. She looked down at her textbook as McGonagall walked in, I pulled out mine, hopefully she didn't mind me sitting there, because for the rest of the day and year I made it a point to 'accidentally' fall into chairs beside her. I, the irresistible James Potter, was going to shake the untouchable Lily Evans, my prey.