As unusual as this sounds the first line came to me in a dream, I woke up the next morning swearing up and down that this was already a fic that I had read and then it came to me, I was supposed to write it. So please read it and tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter and then everyone would wish I didn't...I also don't own any other trademarked/copyrighted object/person mentioned in this fic...and if I did, everyone would wish I didn't. And that's the gospel truth.


I should have never let him kiss me.

I should have seen what would happen, see my two best friends find out and everyone turn on me.

I should have told Dumbledore.

I should have never let him take me.

On the bed, on the couch, in a dusty Hogwarts ballroom, my dorm room, in the Weasley's backyard, in innumerable bathrooms...

I shouldn't have listened when he told me the truth, only when he lied...I wish I didn't believe him, I wish I had left when I still could have.

I wish that when I was lying on my back screaming his name, that I had screamed someone else's instead.

I wish that when the ministry took me into custody for fraternizing with the enemy he hadn't stormed in and captured me easier than they had. I wish that when we got back, I hadn't curled up in his bed and told him I loved him.

I wish even more that he hadn't smiled and replied, "I love you more than life itself."

I wish he had lied.