How the Eds Met
The year was 1998. Ed and Eddy sat on the curb with nothing to do. It was a hot and humid day and Eddy's older brother had just gone away.
"Man, I can't think of any good scams, today," said Eddy.
"Hey Eddy, we could go to the planet of the mushrooms and call on the natives to-"
"Shut up, Ed."
Eddy would often get annoyed by Ed's, uh, lack of thought. Ed was mentally challenged. He would also relate real-life events to the B-monster movies he watched quite frequently. 'If only there was someone,' Eddy would think quite often,'someone in the cul-da-sac who didn't consider us as losers, would be willing to hang out with us, and could at the least somewhat speak English...
Ed and Eddy had known each other since they were 2, and had been friends ever since. None of the other kids in the cul-da-sac had ever really "excepted" the Eds. Before Eddy's brother had gone away, pretty much everyone was afraid of them, but since he left, they were losers.
Everything was very quiet for a second, and then they saw Jonny and Plank coming up the Lane.
"Quick, Plank, it's over here,"said Jonny.
"I'm excited too, buddy,"said Jonny, as they saw him disappear into Nazz's backyard. Then, they began to hear loud music and laughing.
"Great. Once again, they're having a party, and we're not invited," remarked Eddy,"Hey, Ed! Why don't we throw a party! Maybe we can get Nazz and everyone else to like us!"
"If only we had a sack of potatoes," proclaimed Ed, downheartedly.
"What the heck do potatoes have to...never mind. Come on, Monobrow, let's throw a party!"said Eddy, running off to his house.
"Home free!"screamed Ed at the top of his lungs as he began to follow Eddy in his "I'm as boneless as a jellyfish" run laughing.
"How do you spell celebration, Ed?"asked Eddy, as he drew a balloon on the banner.
"Should've known better. I'll just write PARTY,"said Eddy. When he finished the banner, Ed hung it up on top of his bedroom door.
"Well, that's the last of it. So what do you think we should charge 'em, 25 cents to get in?"
"I'll take that as a yes."
"What is this?" asked Kevin, looking at an advertising poster for Ed and Eddy's party.
"Oh, come on, Kevin, I think it's cute,"said Nazz, reading over his shoulder.
"It's a dorkfest. I mean, they're charging 25 cents to get in, and then 15 cents for a slice of pizza. It's just another stupid scam," remarked Kevin.
"Well, I'm going. Eddy's probably lonely since his old bro just went away, and big Ed's kinda cool," said Nazz, as she began to walk back to her house to get ready for the party.
"Whatever," he said ,roughly, as he drove off on his bike.
"Where is everybody! They should've been here an hour ago," said Eddy, annoyed.
"Here comes our first sucker, Eddy."
"Shut up, Ed," said Eddy, through the side of his mouth.
"Hi Ed. Hi Eddy."
"H-H-Hi N-Nazz. Hey, uh, Ed, go to my bedroom and get the snacks, Ok. Nothing hairy from your legs. Got it, Ed?" Eddy whispered into Ed's ear.
"You betcha!' he screamed, and then ran off laughing.
"So, can I come in?" asked Nazz.
"He, he, um, sure," stuttered Eddy.
He and Nazz then entered his room to find Ed hiding under his bed.
"Ed, what the are you doing down there?" asked Eddy while Nazz just laughed.
"Never mind. So, you got the snacks, right Ed?"
"Roger walnut, Eddy!" said Ed as he climbed out from underneath Eddy's bed and ran out of his room and into the kitchen. In a few seconds, Ed came back with a tray of cookies and donuts.
"Nothin' says lovin' like somethin' from the oven," proclaimed Ed as he handed Eddy and Nazz both a cookie.
"Gee, uh, thanks Ed," said Nazz as she took a bite out of the cookie Ed had handed her, but she instantly spit it back out.
"Oh my! Water! Water!" screamed Nazz as she ran out of Eddy's bedroom.
"Baked 'em myself, Nazz. No need to say anything as I would not understand it anyways," said Ed.
"Hey Ed, why do you always have to WRECK EVERYTHING!" Eddy asked Ed with an angery and annoyed tone in his voice, "Man, that's the second scam down the tube since my brother went away. Why if he was here..."
"Donut, Eddy?" said Ed, as he held up one of his donuts for Eddy.
"Yah know, Ed, we need some smart guy, someone to really plan out our scams. Someone who can spell celebration!"
"Ed, you found a brain!"
"C-A-L-L-A-T-T, free for you and cheap for them!" Ed chanted.
"And you lost it," said Eddy.
"Well, I did tell you to get potatoes," Ed said, walking out of his room.
"Well, the still doesn't explain why I'm such a big, fat, dumb idiot," Eddy said, imatating Ed quite well. He went over to his dresser, moved some of his clothes, and pulled out a photograph of his brother and him on a family trip the previous year. "Stupid," Eddy said , chucking it at the wall.
To be ContinuED...