Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Dark Angel characters. I merely amusing myself with stories involving them. Please don't sue me, because all I have is debt. (And you can have that if you want it).
Author's Notes: Original publication date of this story, May 20, 2001.
The streets of Seattle have been colder and darker this past week. Their savior, Mr. Eyes Only, has been missing in action and as good as I am—and I can kick serious ass—I am not Logan. I can't believe he has been gone for a week; I have been going crazy since he went to Los Angeles. I must confess I was a very bad girl last night. I broke into his apartment, not unusual for me, and slept in his bed. I plan on doing it again tonight, too, which is why I didn't make the bed this morning. The blankets still smelled like him.
Get a hold of yourself Max, I tell myself as I cruise through the streets of Seattle on my baby. Nothing can compare to the high I get from riding my baby, except for kissing Log—Arrgh! Let's not go there again. It was a moment of weakness. Funny that voice sounds just like Zach, and you know how I feel about my brother. I can kick his ass. Logan and I aren't like that. Isn't that what I always say? But why can't we be like that? He has his legs back, well, if I transfuse him every so often. Yeah it's a quick fix, but hey it works until we find a permanent solution. I want that phony sentimentality Zach discourages us to have in life. Tinga had it with Charlie, and I want it so bad with Logan. In all my life he is the only person who has made me feel safe. I can't imagine my life without him. I love him. Wow, I really said it. Okay so not out loud, but I said it. I admitted it to myself; I am head over heels in love with Logan, my best friend.
Ah, home sweet home. Well, not really, but Logan never minds when I crash at his apartment. It's just that he isn't home tonight. I park my Ninja in garage; I couldn't believe it when he said he got me a parking spot. That's just another reason why I am in love with him. If Zach could see me now. I am actually being patient tonight, taking the elevator and using the key to the apartment. How domestic of me. I make my way through the dark apartment to his bedroom, once there I quickly shed my clothes and pull on his blue t-shirt. As I put it on, his smell fills my nostrils that wonderfully clean, spicy scent that is all Logan. I never sleep, but I've been stressing myself out with worry this past week.
I offered to go with him to the funeral, but he said it was something he needed to do alone. I can understand that, but I still think he should have let me come along. But right now it's eleven o'clock and I am lying in his bed thinking random thoughts. My last thought is that falling asleep in his arms would be perfect, but for now sleep claims me as I am enveloped by his warm blankets.
Five more checkpoints and I, we, will be home. I cannot believe that this tragedy brought us together. One week ago, I answered a phone call that changed my life. My brother-in-law had been killed in an automobile accident. I couldn't believe it. Trevor was about the last link I had to my sister. Anna would have loved Max. Now why did I think that?
I have been doing that more often lately. Thinking about how great it would have been if my family had known Max. They would have loved her because they would have seen how much I love her. I can't wait to tell her those three little words. I love you. It feels so great to say them, and I can say them now. I can walk, sort of, and that's all thanks to her. This past month has been absolutely amazing. We went riding on her "baby" and then I brought her back to my apartment and made love to her. That was incredible. For a journalist, I was at a complete loss for words-I still am. Being with her is…wow. There are no words.
I carefully maneuver the car into the parking garage, and look over at my sleeping bundle. I have to be more careful now. I throw the car into park and undo the car seat very gently so that I don't wake up Kayln. My niece has been through enough this past year. First Anna dies and now Trevor, I'm all she has left in this world. I'm so lost in thought that I almost completely miss Max's Ninja parked beside my car. What is she doing here? I wanted to talk to her about this tomorrow; guess tonight will have to do instead.
I quietly open up the door and walk into my apartment. Man is it good to be home. And it finally feels like a home. Max is here with me, not Zach. Now I have a "daughter." I am a very lucky man. I just hope my luck holds. I smile down at Kayln, who is still dozing in her car seat, and make my way to the guest room. I had the foresight to call Bling and have him turn it into a nursery; I hope Max didn't see it yet. I suppose she hasn't otherwise I would have heard about that when I called her the other night. I deposit Kayln in her new crib and watch her for a few minutes to make sure she isn't going to cry. When I see her burrow into her covers, I leave and walk into my bedroom.
This is breathtaking. Max is asleep in my bed, wearing my clothes. I am such a man, as she would say. I want to wake her up and make love to her; after all I haven't touched her in a week. But, she is sleeping so soundly, that I just slip into bed and wrap my arms around her. I hear her sigh contently and I tighten my hold. "I love you. You know that don't you?" I whisper in her ear. "I love you so much."
"Mmm, love you too, Logan. This is the best dream," she sighs.
"It's not a dream Max, I'm home."
"I'm glad, sleep now. I'll welcome you home properly in the morning…or maybe in a few minutes if you keep that up." She says as I nibble her ear. All too soon, I fall asleep, knowing she'll be here when I wake up in the morning.
Wow, I must really miss Logan, I think to myself. I can actually feel his arms surrounding me. I can hear his breathing. If this is a dream I don't want to wake up.
"Good morning," he growls in my ear. "What happened to welcoming me home properly?"
I quickly roll over in his embrace, and throw my arms around his neck. "You're home? I thought I was dreaming."
"Nope, I'm back. But, umm, I didn't come home alone last night…"
"What do you mean? Did you bring home some of your family?"
"In a way," he replies avoiding my eyes. "We really need to talk about something."
"About…" I start to ask, but a loud crying sound coming from the guest room cuts me off. If I didn't know better, I would say that was a baby's cry.
"Be right back," Logan says quickly, throwing off the covers.
True to his word, he is walking back into the room a minute later, cooing at a small pink bundle in his arms. "Max this is Kayln. Kayln this is Max."
"What's going on Logan?" I am quickly freaking out. I know he was married before, but a child. No, no, no. I mean, she looks like she's only a year old, which would mean he was with someone right before he met me. Stop jumping to conclusions girl and listen to what your man is saying.
"Max, did you hear me?" He carefully repeats what he has just said as I stare up at him blankly. "This is Anna and Trevor's baby, my niece. The funeral I went to, that was Trevor's. I'm the next of kin for Kayln, so…she's mine, ours."
Ours? "What didn't you tell me," I ask as he sits down beside me on the bed.
"I didn't know until after the will was read. I didn't think Trevor would leave her to me."
"Is this why you didn't let me go with you?"
"No, I didn't want you to come because I thought we needed space. I'm feeling things that you probably aren't. Dreaming things that you don't. I thought we needed space…"
"Space? I don't want space Logan. I've had space. I want a life. I want a real family. I want a home. I want that phony sentimentality that Zach warned me about. I want it with you. If Kayln is part of that picture, I'll take it. I love you, Logan Cale." It does feel so much better to say out loud. When we're not both asleep. And I love the shocked expression on his face right now. "Have I rendered Eyes Only speechless?"
"I love you so much, Max. If you're serious about wanting a life…" he trails off and looks at me.
"I am, Logan."
"Then would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
"Yes," I reply as I lean over to kiss him. Just as our lips are about to touch Kayln lets loose with a wail. That kid has a serious pair of lungs.
We both let out a little chuckle. "I think she wants you all to herself," I say as I play with her tiny fingers.
"She'll learn how to share." Logan replies as he softly lifts my face up to his and kisses me.
"Mommy! Daddy! Time to wake up," Kayln exclaims as she comes flying into Max and Logan's room.
"Honey, it's not even seven o'clock," Logan groans as a bouncing three-year-old assaults him.
"C'mere sweetie, Daddy had a long night. Mommy didn't let him get a lot of sleep last night," I tell Kayln as I scoot over closer to Logan to make room for her in bed. Logan shoots me a dirty look for talking about our sex life in front of our daughter, no matter how abstract it was.
Life is good. I married Logan two years ago, not to the surprise of any of our friends. So far marriage has been good to me, and I as I look at my dozing husband, and our little girl whispering secrets to her new baby brother or sister forming inside of me, I know the best is yet to come.