You Are The One

Lyrics are from 'If You're Not The One' by Daniel Bedingfield

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

Those dreams…if only those dreams had never come. Telling me that something would happen to Serena if we were together. That she would die, I would die…and the whole world would be destroyed.

Closing his eyes in remembered pain – emotional, not physical, but all the more powerful for it – Darien cursed himself for a fool.

I should have known there was more to it than that. We fit together so well; our loving each other could never be wrong. I never would have guessed when I first met her, but, as cliché as it sounds, she completes me. She always brightens my day, whether it's with a word, a smile, or just some of her crazy antics.

I know she's younger than me; that's part of her charm. She's so innocent and sweet, a breath of fresh air that reminds me to smell the roses, eat more sweets and just enjoy life.

Most girls my age would only want to go faster; Serena is content to just hold hands and kiss occasionally. I mean…it's not that I don't want to; it's just that I don't see any reason why we have to rush. We've met Rini, we know we'll get there eventually, let's just enjoy the journey.

And up until a few months ago, when those dreams started, the journey was wonderful. Serena had carved a place for herself in my heart; every time I saw her it was like she touched my soul with her happiness. When we first got together the feeling was so overwhelming I sometimes had a hard time breathing. At times the look in her eyes made we so weak in the knees I even thought I wouldn't have the strength to stand.

I never know what the future brings,
but I know you are here with me now.
We'll make it through,
and I hope you are the one I share my life with.

I don't know exactly what will happen in the future; I know one day we will get married and have Rini, but that's so far away; over a thousand years, in fact. But while the Sailor Scouts and I are fighting for everyone to have a future, I can't live my life just for that; none of us can. We all have to live in the now. And Serena is with me now. Not Neo-Queen Serenity, not Sailor Moon, just Serena…the girl I fell in love with before I knew we had a past…and a destiny.

I know, that together, we can make it through anything. Our lives are intertwined; we share more than a past, or even a future; we share a soul, share our lives with each other.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

It was so hard not to run away when these dreams started. I tried to believe they weren't real, but I guess my faith wasn't strong enough. My parents had been taken away from me when I was young, my memories with them…I guess a part of me always believed that nothing good ever lasts.

I should have listened to my heart, not my fears. My heart told me that Serena and I would always be together, but my fears preyed on my doubts and got me to break up with her. Oh, how that hurt. That look in her eyes when she asked me if I didn't love her anymore… All I wanted to do was calm her fears, kiss away the tears I'd made her cry, hold her in my arms and never let go.

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

­I tried to tell myself that I didn't need her in my life…at least not right now. I tried to tell myself that I could do without her…and Rini… That maybe someday we could be together again. But I was fooling myself…

Darien scrubbed his hands over his eyes and sighed. His thoughts were taking a turn for the melancholy, and if he didn't want to burst into tears, he needed to turn his mind to something else. He rolled over on his bed and frowned as he landed on top of a lump. Rooting around under the covers until he came up with the culprit, tears pricked his eyes as he saw what it was that had made the bedcovers bulge: the puppet of Tuxedo Mask he'd used to cheer Rini up that one day.

It seemed like so long ago, now.

I do need her…them…so much. How could I have ever thought I didn't? Even before we started dating, Serena was always on my mind, never far from my thoughts. Never far from my reach. Now, after this whole debacle, we are so far apart; this emotional distance seems to maim my heart, the separation wounding me to the quick.

He growled in irritation and flopped over onto his back, his hands clenching and unclenching in the bedspread.

Those damn dreams. So utterly bittersweet. Giving me everything I ever could have dreamed of wanting…and then taking it all away in the most horrific fashion possible. They always started out the same – a few years in the future, Serena and I getting married. God, she made such a beautiful bride. And we were so happy, laughing, and carefree, about to start out on our new lives together. I could feel the love in the air, the happiness. And then…everything went to hell. All of them…dead. Ami, Rei, Lita, Mina…Rini…Serena.

I don't know why you're so far away,
but I know that this much is true:
We'll make it through,
and I hope you are the one I share my life with.
And I wish that you could be the one I die with.
And I pray you're the one I build my home with.
I hope I love you all my life.

Once Serena found out about the dreams, and we both found out they were a ruse, she said she understood. She said she forgave me, and that things were all right. But we haven't spent any time together since everything came to light; I know we need to talk about this, but I think she's avoiding me. I don't know why she's avoiding me, but I know this much: we'll make it through this. We've made it through everything else.

She's the one I want to share my life with, however long it might be. She's the one I want to die with, when our time comes. She's the one I want to build our future home with; the Silver Millennium. And I don't even have to wish, to know that I will love her all my life.

I just hope she feels the same way.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you…body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away.
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today.
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right.
And though I can't be with you tonight…
I know my heart is by your side.

I miss her so much I can hardly breathe. We didn't spend as much time together as other couples; my college schedule is hectic, and she spent lots of time with her friends, the other Scouts. But I've been pushing her away for weeks, months; we haven't spent any real time together since those damn dreams started.

Now that I know that our relationship won't get her killed, a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. But though she says she forgives me, I wonder if I will ever find the strength to forgive myself?

I told her that it was over between us, that I didn't love her. I know how much it hurt her to hear me say those words; it hurt me just as much to say them. But at the time it was the only way I could think of to break us apart; it felt so right, being in love with her, but those dreams told me that if we stayed together we'd all die.

Whether it is wrong or right to love her, I should've known it wouldn't matter; an old song said it best: 'If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right.'

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

I don't want to run away from Serena, from us. I know I can't, really – we will be together one day. But right now, despite the fact that I'm twenty years old and a legal adult, I am, in reality, just a scared kid…scared that Serena will never trust me again. I was made for her, and she for me…but that doesn't preclude us having problems. Problems caused by my fears…

All I want is to stay with her forever, hold her in my arms as I have held her in my heart, and never let go. But will she let me?

At that moment the doorbell rang, snapping him out of his morose thoughts. Checking the clock, he saw it was three PM. "Who could that be?" he murmured. Padding over to the door, he unlocked and opened it without looking to see who it was.

"S-Serena," he stuttered, seeing his girlfriend standing there on his doorstep. He shouldn't have been surprised – school had just let out for the day, after all.

She gave him a nervous smile and said, "Hello, Darien. Can I come in? We…we need to talk." She flashed him a hopeful look, one tinged with worry that he would turn her away again.

A rush of confidence surged through him and he thought, Not a chance.

"Sure," he said, ushering her inside. Once they were settled on the couch in the living room, he took a deep breath and turned to her. "There's some things I need to tell you – but first…I love you, Serena, and I always will."

The smile on her face was so bright he was surprised he wasn't blinded by it. "Oh, Darien," she sobbed, throwing herself into his arms. "I love you, too, so much. We can get through this, Darien, I know we can."

"Yes, we can," he murmured, relishing the feel of holding her tightly in his arms, a sensation he'd denied himself for far too long. "We can get through anything as long as we have each other."