Equilibrium

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Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey (established), Mokuba, second(Joey)/third(Seto) pov, slightly dark/weird, bits of bad language.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 9th july 2004, by Misura, for the Plotbunny Freeze Frame-challenge at A Dragon's Lair.

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Opposites attract.

You've heard the phrase before, when people try to find some way to sound like they understand the relationship between the two of you.

You didn't really think much of it.

After all, if opposites really did attract, everyone would be best buddies with the person they despised most. And that wouldn't make much sense now, would it?

Wouldn't be logical at all, to be friends with all of your enemies. What would happen to your 'real' friends, for one? And wouldn't your enemies kind of stop being your enemies, if they also were your friends? So then what would happen?

-He- likes to say you're not very smart.

It doesn't take a smart person to figure out that 'opposites attract' is pure rubbish though. Quite aside from the fact that he, Mister I'm So Much Superior To You, doesn't know a thing.

Not about you, not about your relationship ... heck, not even about -his- relationship.

If he'd ever admit to have one. Which he won't, not even when you're both naked in one bed and definitely not fighting (or sleeping, for that matter).

You're not having a relationship.

It's just a one-night-stand that's lasting a little over three months now.

You're not in love with him, no, sir.

It's just a bit of a crush, because, well, you have to admit that there's something about the way he wears his trenchcoats that turns you on. No biggie. You still hate his guts for the way he acts around Yugi.

He's not in love with you either, of course.

That'd be, like, just plain scary. So not going there. And you don't like him anyway, so it's a good thing too, because you want to beat him fair and square, not have him begging at your feet for a scrap of affection. Not that -that- is ever going to happen.

Though you must admit, the mental image's kind of cool. Heh.

Pigs fly.

Right.

Some of your friends don't seem to get why you keep going back to him.

They can figure out it's not that 'opposites attract'-thing, so they seem to think he's got some hold over you. Because, hey, everyone knows you hate him. And in general, you don't let a guy you hate screw you.

You tell them to back off, because it's none of their business and, no, you're fine and yes, your sister's fine too, and your father, and your mother (not that you've heard anything of her lately) too, so could they just shut up about it now?

You think sometimes that maybe Yugi knows a bit more than he lets on to, but he's gone kind of quiet lately. You've told yourself you ought to go talk to 'goold old Yug', find out if maybe -he- is the one who needs some help.

Haven't found the perfect opportunity yet. Hey, Yugi's a tough kid, though. Not one to get into trouble, especially with that Puzzle of his.

Time seems to fly these days.

Maybe -his- over-planned schedule's rubbing off on you a bit. Not that you care one whit about his schedule, of course, you don't care at all, and if he'd drop dead tomorrow you'd be the last to cry.

It's just convenient.

You hate the word, but it fits.

Convenient.

He wanted sex and you were conveniently there.

You wanted ... something, you don't know what, or no, wait, you do, and it's not a one-word thing, and he was conveniently offering. Kind of. He's more a demanding kind of guy, for who wanting's pretty much the same as getting but oh well, it's nice to think he'd ever ask you for anything.

Except that he's not a nice kind of guy either.

You're cool with that. Life's like that too after all, not nice, but a real bitch.

He's not a bitch, and you're not, definitely not, and however did this one-sided conversation end up being about who's a bitch? You're both guys after all.

He may still call you a mutt, 'here, puppy-dog', and you don't like that.

He likes that. Not calling you names, of course, 'cause he's oh-so adult and mature and grown-up responsible, but he likes doing things you don't like.

You've seen him smiling when you were crying your eyes out over something, you've forgotten what it was, only remember that it was pretty bad. You recall thinking that it was pretty sick, not cool at all, to smile at someone crying his eyes out, no matter what.

It was your own stupid fault, of course, knowing you were going to break down. If you'd stayed away, nothing would've happened.

But he's a good kisser. Especially when he's in a good mood, not frustrated and all worked up over some idiot who's ruining his precious project.

And you needed a distraction. And he called. And you thought why the heck not.

You hurt when you woke up the next morning, but it was nice, physical, normal, and you could snarl at him about it. Not that he cared. It made you feel better though, better to be angry with someone.

Sometimes you think he's some sort of vampire, feeding off your emotions, lapping up your tears and blood. Tasting from what he can't have himself, because he never cries, and nothing ever hurts him.

Except that there's Mokuba. So bouncy he makes you wants to scream at him to shut up and slow down. Nobody should be that happy. It's creeping you out, especially since you know he's living all alone in one house with -him- and that should get to anyone, no matter how cheerful they are.

You know it got to you, -he- got to you, and you don't even meet him that often.

But there's Mokuba, 'good morning big brother!', always talking with exclamation-marks and practically worshipping the ground -he- walks on. If anyone's a puppy, it'd be Mokuba, not you, only Mokuba probably wouldn't mind being called that and you do.

You've no idea if Mokuba knows, hears, sees what's going on between -him- and you. Mokuba's kind of the one white spot in a world of black surrounding -him- and while you think you're beginning to see through the black, you can't see what's in the white.

You'd almost think -he- loves the kid, but -he-'s not nice and not caring and really sick, so you're not sure. Mokuba's weird. Always was, always will be.

Maybe -he-'d cry, break, falter, if something'd happen to Mokuba. You'd want to be there, as some sort of recompense (ooh, a big word) for all those times he got to you, or you let him get to you.

You want to see him cry. Taste his tears.

Maybe you're kind of sick too. But hey, you hate his guts and he doesn't like you, so perhaps it's not that bad, kind of what you'd expect really.

Reality rarely complies to expectations.

That sums it all up pretty good, if you do say so yourself.

OWARI