Title: A Healer's Record of Qui-Gon Jinn

Authors: Charmissjess and Layren

Timeframe: This jumps all over Qui-Gon's life from 9 months old to sixty years.

Rating: G

Genre: Humor

Summary: A Temple healer looks over Qui-Gon Jinn's medical records.

Disclaimer: We made no profit from this story other than a few good laughs :D

Special thanks to Neon Star for letting us borrow the bunny and run with it and for the name Edith as Qui-Gon's middle name.

Begin Healer Han'yaie's Record of Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn

Full Name: Qui-Gon Edith Jinn

Species: Human

Gender: Male Homeworld: Classified

Last Recorded Age: 60

Height: 6'4"

Weight: 215

Eye color: Blue

Hair color : Brown with gray streaks

Age When Brought to the Temple: 9 standard months

Reason for File: Purging system records of deceased patients.

Start Record Conditions of subject

Age subject came to Temple. Arrived safe and sound and in one piece. The last time he'd ever arrive at my office in one piece.

Age One: Tripped over Master Yoda and broke his arm. The venerable Master has taken an instant dislike to this young one.

Age 2: Bitten by poisonous plant.

Age 2: Plant bite getting worse.

Age 2: Near death. Gave him a shot to clear it up.

Age 2: Recovering. Could not give second shot as was kicked several times. Broken knee. Have new nickname for him: Qui-Pain Jinn.

Age 2: Fell out of a tree in the gardens and broke his leg. How in the Force did a two-year-old climb that high?

Age 3: Fell on Master Yan Dooku. Minor scrapes and bruises.

Age 3: Fell downstairs thanks to Master Yoda's gimmer stick. I've been telling him it's a health hazard for years.

Age 3: Fell on top of Master Rhy'ul of the Jedi Council. Slight bump on the head where he should've had a concussion. Apparently this child is more thick headed than the rest in my experience.

Age 4: Stomach flu. Treated easily.

Age 4: Fell downstairs again, thanks to Yoda. I think the Master makes it a habit to trip the boy once a year. Broken left leg.

Age 5: Shots. Tied him down to give them. Was bitten three times but eventually managed.

Age 5: Came in demanding to know what a Sith was. I told him to ask Yoda. Yoda waved his gimmer stick at the two of us and said he would understand when he was older.

Age 5: Bitten by stray animal he tried to bring home. Rash developing. Age 5: Rash clearing up.

Age 5: Kidnapped while still sick. Brought back a new deadly disease and a stray cat with him.

Age 5: Shots to get the disease out of his system. Two of the other healers have broken legs from Qui- Pain Jinn. Just how do they teach five-year-olds to kick that hard?

Age 5: Disease finally gone but tripped down the stairs over Master Yoda again his first day out of the Healers. Demanded he was fine while he hopped on one leg.

Age 5: Fell in the river and near drowned. Padawan Kyran Josel rescued him and the crèche Master dragged him to see me.

Age 6: Treated for nightmares about near drowning. Give him medication and send him back to bed.

Age 6: Poisoned by something in the gardens. Easily treated.

Age 6: Master Yoda's yearly ritual of tripping the boy. Mild concussion.