WARNING!Beware the deleted scenes after some of the chapters. Enough said.
The Two Headed Woman That Wreaks Havoc
Zelda surveyed her surroundings in bewilderment. She was absolutely certain that she was about to enter the throne room to have a little conversation with her father about her acrimony about the mysterious Ahganihm, but she somehow ended up in the Temple of Time. Although her kingdom was at a time of peace, the temple held a measure of tranquility that was nearly unfathomable. How unusual, why would she seek counsel here when there wasn't any threat to Hyrule in sight? 'How did I get here?'
It almost seem that something was reading her thoughts when a voice said, "I pondered the same thing when I came here." A male's voice said from among the shadows of the corridor that lead to the Altar of Time. "Don't worry, hopefully all would be explained."
"Link?" Zelda spoke in a startled voice at the sudden appearance of her companion. "What are you doing here?" Her eyes roamed to the sheath he held in his hand. "And why do you have the Master Sword?"
Link shrugged. "Big troubles brewing again. Looks like another adventure is ahead."
"I see..." She remarked uncertainly. "But does it require the assistance of the Master Sword? Could it be any followers of Ganon planning on overthrowing Hyrule?" Her brows furrowed suspiciously. "Now that I think about, I have a funny feeling about that counselor of my father's"
"Princess Zelda," Nayru addressed when she appeared beside Link. "Link must undergo another trial of the Tri-Force. He is required to leave Hyrule once more in order to complete the upcoming journey ahead." The goddess nodded her head solemnly at the look of concern on the Princess's face. "Only this time, you may have to accompany him because this new evil is unlike any you have faced before."
Link nodded in agreement.
Zelda was still stricken by astonishment, the fact that some hanging threat in another world which even aroused the concern of one of the goddesses frightened her. "Very well, Nayru" she began, "explain every detail that we must know for now."
"Very well." Nayru reassured.
"Wow!" A nineteen year old exclaimed. "Zuki-chan that was beautiful! Where did you learned how to play the flute like that?"
Surrounded by newfound peers the said woman answered, "I guess that I have to say it's natural talent, Noriko-chan. I can not recall when I've ever learn to play such an instrument." She blushed, feeling proud and slightly embarrassed of herself.
"I'll say," a brunette began, "you play the flute much better than any one of us put together."
"I'm flattered, Sumi-chan." Bizuki merited. "But I think the exaggeration wasn't called for. I'm not that good. I just so happen to play a tune straight out of my head."
"Uh, my name's Keisha." The brunette corrected before pointing to the short haired girl that served tea. "Sumi's the one whom was serving food."
"My apologies. I'm still trying to remember which one is which." Bizuki acknowledged. "I've only met all of you a few hours ago."
"You seem a bit older than the most of us--" A sixteen year old stated by she was cut off by an admonishing slap to the back of her head. "Ouch! What I do, Fujiko?"
"That was rude of you to say that." Fujiko complained with a glare. "Just because you're amongst the youngest of us doesn't mean you should comment about her age."
"I'm sorry." The youth lamented. "But I have to admit, she ages pretty well. As a matter of fact she looks a lot better than you and you're only twenty." Again, she earned another whack to the back of her head.
"Tell me: are you slow, stupid, or dumb? Which one?" Fujiko grouched.
"Don't mind them Zuki." Sumi reassured. "Fujiko and Satsuki are first cousins-- raised as sisters." She earned a look of disapproval from the pair but ignored them. "So that explains their 'mistrust' towards one another. They're always getting into mishaps like that."
"Oh?" Bizuki responded, still skeptical of what the younger girl, Satsuki said. "I'm still curious though; how could you guys tell that I'm one of the oldest here?"
"Instead of wide seemingly innocent eyes," Satsuki began, blatantly speaking her mind, "you have sharp deep dark eyes that greatly contrasts with your very insipid skin. A unusual, yet fascinating fad but I suggest getting a tan."
Bizuki arched a brow, not knowing whether to be flattered or offended. "Excuse me?"
"Oh." Sumi piped in. "You also have a sort of deep feminine voice. If you still decide to become a geisha, you going to have to avoid giggling." Curious gazes gawked at her. "Geishas with low voices are very uncommon."
"Plus you're pretty tall--taller than some of the regulars that come here." Another girl pointed out.
"But... she is taller than me--" Bizuki pointed to Fujiko, trying to develop a point. "Excuse me, what is your name again, miss?"
"It's Fujiko." The said girl answered.
"Fujiko's taller than me, I only reach to the base of her shoulders." Bizuki explained.
"That's because she's a tomboy. Technically she does not count as a 'girl'." Satsuki mouthed off succinctly which gained her another pang to her head. "Well, at least she's comfortable in wearing kimonos" The girl amended quickly, chuckling nervously.
"Whatever." Bizuki rolled her eyes at the humoring companions. "If I'm so much older than you all, how come I get immediate attention from the males? At least I look decent enough to earn whistles of approval." A sense of pride concerning her femininity swelled up within her after saying that.
"That's because you're new."
"Oh-- and drop dead gorgeous!" A new voice exclaimed.
Gasps and an air of apprehension filled the room. "Who in the world said that?" Bizuki beseeched.
"It's her! Run for it!"
Over ninety percent of the girls baulked in fear and/or disapproval and left either to take care of other business, retire as a geisha, or just for the sake of getting away from this person. Bizuki had yet to find out who this woman was. "You are a bunch of busters!" The woman condemned.
"Sorry Zuki." Sumi sighed sadly. "That was my cue to leave and I suggest that you should consider that as well." She chanced a look at the mystery woman and scrammed.
A legion of pattering footsteps filled the room as the women tried their best to avoid the storm cloud that loomed over them. Sorry for the metaphor but I needed to explain how bad this chick was. Bizuki was completely confused and soon she was the only woman that was still sitting in the den. "What's the meaning of this?"
"I am the meaning of this, baby-girl." The new woman clarified forcefully.
"What the?" Bizuki wondered once more. "Did you just called me baby-girl?"
"Why, of course I did." The woman cooed which cause apprehension to dawn on Bizuki. The violet hair woman, was too, a geisha like the rest of her new friends but it was something glaringly different about her. Something, literally, painfully obvious. "Nice to meet you, freshness. My name's Yuri. My surname, mind you-- not a nickname." Yuri was slightly older than the rest of the other geishas-- about Bizuki's age, with a generous height and build. Her wide violet eyes glistened in fascination at the sight before her. With peach tanned skin and a devious smirk playing on her violet addressed lips, these features only enhanced the wicked leer she directed towards Bizuki. "Or shall I say, fresh but noticeably seasoned?"
Now she understood, but she didn't want to force fully dissuade Yuri without any means of offence. Sighing inwardly, Bizuki only managed to say "Nice to meet you too, Yuri."
Okay... that was a little unexpected. Unless she herself was-- nah...
Yuri extended her gracefully decorated hand, which was adorned with tattoos and very elaborate (and expensive) nail polish, for a hand shake. "Ooh, the pleasure's all mine. It's nice to meet you too. So your name's Zuki huh?"
"Yea... that's me." Bizuki replied with a sheepish laugh. A sweat bead of disapproval appeared behind her head. She know that she shouldn't judge the woman because she was 'different', that which she considered immoral. After all, Yuri was just introducing herself, in all fairness.
The impish smile was still displayed on Yuri's pretty face. "My, aren't we ever the cool-headed one? You're mature, probably more so than even I but alas, you're still a newbie here."
"Well not really..." Bizuki hesitated. "I only provide musical entertainment according to my talent. I'm still not decisive about my choice of becoming a geisha but I am welcomed to stay here for a while."
"You sure are pretty enough for the job." Yuri complimented, once again displaying her immediate interest in her as well as her overwhelming forward nature. "Don't worry, take your time. It'll all come to you in some time. Well, I guess that I'll see you later." She headed towards the flight of stairs. "Tonight is young, we're bound to have a lot of customers."
Her heart was still beating heavily after that brief encounter but her fear was quelled. That Yuri woman was definitely something else! For those mere moments, Bizuki just knew that Yuri wasn't the type to beat around the bush and speak her mind instead. 'Now that was weird and unexpected.' She thought.
One thing was for certain, Yuri wasn't too forward-- not right now anyway. Bizuki thanked the heavens critically that the author of this story is not a slash writer (shoujou-ai, or whatever it is, because the author steer clear from things like that). She also thanked the heavens for her not being a player on the other team as well. There was a lot to be thankful for.
"Now that's what I call bravery." Sumi compliment as she revealed herself from her hiding place. "Yuri can get rather violent if things don't go her way." She made sure that the said woman was clear out of earshot. "Once she's swollen with anger, she has the strength of a two hundred plus pound man."
Bizuki felt that the advisory wasn't relevant, and so "I'll keep that in mind."
"She may have an eye on you since you're new." Sumi added. "And I'll tell you right now, the best thing to do is avoid her as much as you can."
"That's kind of rude, Sumi." Bizuki admonished. "Why should I avoid her just because she's... that way?" She made a coy gesture with her hand. "The way you put it-- i can understand why she is so... so... combative."
For a moment, Sumi seemed distraught at the rebuttal. "Hmm." She began, a mocking smile racked on her features. " Could you too, be..." She did the same hand gesture Bizuki just done. "I'd never would have guessed."
"Hey! Watch your mouth. Blasphemy is uncalled for."
"I was just kidding, Zuki." Sumi held out her arms in defense. "There's no need to pop a vein about it. Anyway, I have to let you know that you may want to go out for some fresh air for a while. Tonight is expected to be an awfully busy one at that."
"Although I'm technically not a geisha, would you like me to provide tonight's musical entertainment still?" Bizuki wondered.
The short haired woman arched a brow. "Zuki, there is nothing to be ashamed of being a geisha. People talk and I block all the bull crap with my own thoughts. Anyway, I have an extra royal blue kimono that I think that you will look absolutely cool in. What do you say?"
Bizuki suddenly felt like a kid in a candy store. "Kawaii!! That is my favorite color! Does it has some flowery patterns on it as well?" That maturity of her had waned significantly which made Sumi doubt that she was older than her.
"Umm... that could be arranged." She spoke hesitantly. "It'll take a while though."
"Alright. I'm patient. I guess that I'll have to go ahead and take that moment of fresh air that you recommended." She makes her way towards the exit.
"Wait." Sumi commanded which caught Bizuki's attention. "If any of the them tries to hit on you or offer sex-- just ignore it. If that doesn't work tonight, let us know." She smiled evilly and cracked her tiny knuckles. "Nobody expects a geisha to be a head-breaker either."
"Thanks for the advice. Now, just have that kimono ready when I get back."
Something just wasn't right.
A shy, nagging suspicion dawned on her mind. What could be bothering her?
'I've always hated the feeling that I'm being watched...' She thought in annoyance.
As if the forest could read her mind, some of the shrubbery shuddered mysteriously. Reira snapped a glance quickly towards the aforementioned greenery. 'Ugh. It's him again." She thought with a groan. 'He should just give it up and return to his homeland.'
She stood tall and inhaled her breath. "I see that you are becoming quite rusty with your ninja skills, Gaijin. You can come out now."
"Damn it." The bushes cussed. "This just isn't my day."
Reira smiled mischievously. "For a moment there I thought that you were going to wait for me to take a swim in the pond and then you decide to pop up out of nowhere. For shame, really, I thought that you were a zealot of moral."
"You thought wrong." Galford shrugged. "You know very well that I have many questions for you."
"I know, I know! You asked me, like, a thousand times already." Reira griped. "They all involve around Nakoruru and I'm telling you once again, I don't want to be a guardian of nature. It was here decision-- not mine, so back down."
"But you are a part of her." Galford contradicted. "Why did you emerged from her again when she left? What reasons do you have?"
"To be free..." She revealed, much to the ninja's surprise. "And to lead a life on my own."
"Well, move back with your family."
"Ah uh. That isn't my style. As doting as those prunes are I'm going to end up having even less of a backbone than Nakoruru had."
"You know, what you said about her wasn't cool." He scolded. "Not cool at all."
"You really did like her, huh?" Reira inquired with mild interest. "At one time I remember all she used to do is think about you. Like 'I wonder how Galford-kun is doing?' and 'It's been a while since I've last seen him.'
"Yep." Reira replied as she sat down on the mossy bank by the pond. "I was starting to think that she was willing but she was afraid what the locals my say about her having a Gaijin ex-marine boyfriend. In a way, she was a fruit ripe for the picking-- you just never made an effort to woo her."
"That's... unexpected." He managed to say.
"I'm not even going to start on the daydreams she used to have about you..." She grinned. "Come to think of it, you not that bad."
"I heard enough. Since you want to start a new life on you own then what are you doing in the middle of the forest all alone? You're human in the very least, and I know for a fact that you cannot live the rest of your life in a forest without a house."
Reira eyes widened as a blush appeared on her face. "Um actually... I was sort of glad that you followed me here."
"For real?" Galford gasped in anticipation but he inwardly chided himself for being so forward.
"For real." Reira replied with a seductive look on her face.
"Get out of here!!" He scoffed.
"You see, the thing is, I can count on you right now." She said. "I require you masculinity for this." She fidgeted her fingers nervously.
Galford appeared confused. "I dunno. I've seen you judo flipped Wan-fu with one hand once. That's pretty strong-- even for a guy."
No longer able to take the suspense, Reira brandishes a fishing rod. "I'm kind of hungry, and I don't know a thing about fishing. Galford... could you teach me how to fish? Pretty please?"
All what he can right now is fall on the ground. The high pitched giggle of hers resounded throughout the forest and his ears.
It was an extraordinary sight. The very experience and logic of it can leave anyone who goes through it in awe. Traveling throughout time and space was never meant to be a power in humanity's hand. Never. This sort of transportation was only meant for the divine, and perhaps, even mortals that was destined to do so. The infinite gateways to who knows when and where were just as endless as the darkness and the sporadic spectrum of colors. Indeed, it was something fathomable even in one's wildest dreams.
Link however, was pretty much bored with it.
The Hylian hero grumbled to himself. "Zelda knew that she could of joined with me. She going to miss out on a lot of fun-- and she always wondering what it's like to encounter so many dangers. But no! She's having a lousy suspicion about her dad's councilor."
Fortunately, the princess of Hyrule did say that she's going to keep watch of his latest adventure so he really couldn't complain. Second, Nayru advised him to keep the Ocarina of Time with him so he can return and get Zelda just in case her suspicions proves incorrect. Link noted that he will come back and get her, and soon once he found out what he's up against.
A high pitched scream interrupted his musings. "Watch out!!"
At the moment he raised his head at the voice direction, Link could make out the features of a rather cute young girl on a collision course with him. She was a youth of about fifteen or sixteen years of age with obsidian hair, slim frame, and pretty face. Although Link had to question the alien female's article of clothes: a pure white long sleeved shirt with a sailor collar and a green skirt that was even shorter than his tunic and it's probably more so than one of Xianghua's more revealing uniforms. Her clothes bordered on skimpy and classy at the same time. And those awfully long legs of hers made up for her short torso. "Oof!!"
"Ouch that hurt!" The schoolgirl griped, messaging her head. "Watch where you going, mister! And your chest must of be made of bricks! Sheesh!" With her trademark 'hmph' gesture she resumed her way towards one of the countless dimension that was her destination.
"Sorry!" Really, you couldn't really control your moment once you're traveling in the stream of time, so how come the kid was complaining? Oh well, guess some things are meant to be unanswered. 'Crazy anime girls... with their short skirts and even shorter tempers.'
Meanwhile, the girl nervously dug into her pockets and pull out a tiny jar containing shards of the Jewel of Four Souls. Relief washing over her, she thought, 'That was a close one. Thanks to that collision just now I thought I lost these forever and Inuyasha will be jumping all down my throat about it. Hmph! Stupid legendary heroes... with their stupid thrill of fighting and their stupid callous personas.'
And no, for those that are wondering-- the cast of Inuyasha is not going to appear in this story. It's just a cameo. So there you have it! If you're disappointed about it just head back to that anime section and into the most populated section in it. Ha! Ha! Take that, young guns! This is some hardcore deleted explicit word!
END OF CHAPTER 3...?
Flippity flap, flippity flip, here goes the deleted scene! Enjoy!!
Bizuki:Hmm. Sure is dark around these parts of town. Better head back and try on the kimono Sumi-chan offered me.
Bizuki is thankful that there's a full moon tonight and therefore it provided light in the seemingly tranquil and creepy forest she was in. But just as she was about to enter the town's limits, she encounters a sudden cloud of demonic smog that appeared out of nowhere.
Bizuki:Cough! Ugh! What's up with the stink bomb?That's not the smog of a stink bomb. It's miasma-- a demonic one at that.
Bizuki frowned at the sudden intruder. To think that this beast had the gall to interfere with her stroll in the forest. The monster was tall and hulking in stature, and it should have at least frighten her by it's appearance alone. It was lavender colored and it had four blood read eyes and it had teeth that make those of a T-Rex look like butter-knives.
Bizuki:Well, at least it isn't Kerusegedo. Yuck! He has to be the most disgusting creature ever to walked the earth.
Big Bad Demon:Ha! Ha! Ha! It is I, Big Bad, the latest incarnation of Naraku! Now fools, you shall yield before my absolute strength.
Bizuki:Huh? Naraku? Oh! Hold on a second, buster. You got the wrong person!
BBD:Silence! Uncouth filly!
At that moment, Haon appears. Though he keep a safe distance from Bizuki and BBD, he's probably find Bizuki more frightening.
Haon:Mizuki-sama! Make haste! Naraku and his minions are quite fearsome and it's wise to retreat to safety!
Bizuki:You again! I thought I rid myself of you demon!
Haon:Mistress, please!! My presence is not important to you as of now! Run for it!!
Bizuki:You fool! I'm going to hit you so hard that all the demons in Makai are going to feel it!
BBD, highly irritated because his target ignored him, roared ferociously.
BBD:Wench! How dare you disregard me! Now you literally have hell to pay. Naraku-sama commanded me to take your life!
BBD:Silence you undead termagant!!
Bizuki:You idiot! I'm telling you! I'm not the one that you're looking for! And quit it with the lame medieval lingua franca! It's grating on my nerves!
BBD:Okay... so what are you trying to get at?
Bizuki:This is a Samurai Spirits (along with guest cast) story starring yours truly. Rashoujin Bizuki.
BBD takes out a pair of glasses and survey the miko closer. And to his surprise...
BBD:By golly! You're right! I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience that I caused you.
Bizuki:Apology accepted. If you're looking for Inuyasha and his clique head back two hundred years in the past, or an alternate, head to his section in Then maybe you can find him.
BBD:You're THE Rashoujin Bizuki? Aren't you really over two hundred and twenty years old?
Bizuki:Ahem... That's strike one...
Off in the distance, Haon snickered at the tirade.
Bizuki:I haven't forgotten about you, inuyoukai!!
BBD:How peculiar-- a miko and a demon dog as her companion. Are you two lovers like you know who?
Haon stares at Bizuki suggestively.
Bizuki:Don't even think about it!! I'm not catching feelings with no filthy demon!!
Haon:Aw!! But Mistress, you have to admit, if that does happen we may have a far bigger fan base and then the Samurai Spirits section will be one of the most populated section of And littered with high school fictions and all that other good--
Bizuki:Shut up!! Okay BBD, just for that strike two...
BBD:Umm sorry... Well come to think of it, you do kind of favor that other miko...
Haon rushes between them.
Haon:No! Don't say it!!
BBD:But, on the real though, she does look like her...
Haon:I'm warning you!! She hate it when people say that to and about her!
BBD:It's so glaring though-- it's almost a conspiracy! You could have swore that she a sister of hers.
Haon:First off, there's a horrible stereotype about priestesses in anime look a lot alike and it pisses them off!! Second, that other broad already supposedly have a reincarnation that looks like her. And third, if you say it, then you'll suffer a fate worse than eternal damnation!! SO DON'T SAY IT!!!
BBD:Man, she looks a lot like that Kikyou chick. I had too say it...
Haon: Doomed!!! DOOMED!!! YOU'RE DOOMED!! BYE!!
Haon rushes off, while BBD is left to suffer his fate. Bizuki's battle aura nearly light up the dark of the night.
Bizuki lifts the demon in the same manner how Captain Kidd in World Heroes franchise do when he grabs his opponents with the 'Round Trip Slap Fest' throw.
Bizuki:How dare you speak such blasphemy!!
Bizuki:Why do you idiots always say that! I've been around longer than her but you can instantly recognize her over me!!
BBD: NO!!! HELP!!!
Bizuki:Just because we both have the trademark miko appearance with the long hair and garbs doesn't mean that we look alike!! How irritating!!!
Bizuki:And you have the nerve to say that I may have an interest in that mutt-- like that other girl!! Take that, you deleted explicit word/words!!!!
BBD: MAMA-- I MEAN, NARAKU-SAMA!!!
Bizuki:That sexually mysterious twit, Amakusa, that handicapped idiot, Zankuro, that stupid jackass, Gaoh... that control freak, Yuga, and Miss 'What's Her Face' Ambrosia!! Everybody recognizes them but they have forgotten all about me!! Why!!!?
BBD: AHH! Because it's a man's world!!
Bizuki:Why you-- PINBALL OF DOOM!!!
BBD is encased in the pinball and is now ricocheting throughout the forest with explosive results.
BBD lies in a pile of ashes that used to be seventy-five percent of his body. In his final moments he said...
BBD:I've failed you Naraku-sama. Even though I targeted the wrong person. I warn you, this isn't the miko that you do not want to mess with...
Bizuki:Damn straight!! Thug life, fool!!
Meanwhile back in the Sengoku Jidai
Naraku:Whoa!! Glad that I don't have to deal with the likes of her.
Kagura:You are very fortunate, my lord.
Naraku:Well anyway, Kagura, go fetch me a bottle of grape juice. I'm Rick Jam-- err, I mean, I'm Naraku, bitch.
Kagura:Very well, my lord.
END OF CHAPTER 3 (FO' REZZILE!)
Rage! The Terrifying Pinball of Doom
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