A/N: I'm baaaccckkk! Oh yeah! Okay, today, I decided to check out some fairy tale stories and noticed this one was on some community group one and I began reading the reviews. I started feeling so bad so by the time I was finished the first time, I was pumped - and determined - to produce another chapter. So, after a long hiatus, here is the next chapter of Fairy Tales Just Aren't For Me - I just hope my readers are still out there...somewhere, ready to hear Adena's craziness. Sorry if it isn't as good as the rest of the chapters; I'm trying to come back into this world and escape my school life (hectic, anyone?).
Disclaimer: I do not own fairy tales.
Claimer: But I do own this story, the plot, and all of the characters.
Chapter 16 - And So It Begins
I stormed up the stairs, the gears in my mind already turning. I think I scared a few servants because everyone jumped out of the angry redhead's way whose eyes seemed to be shooting sparks.
Interesting…I wonder if I'll ask Calla to give me those powers for my plan – dubbed as The Plan, capitalized because it was my plan.
Focus, Adena, focus, I told myself. Focus on the objection.
"Rose!" I turned around and saw Leandra running to me, dodging other servants with a "sorry – hey, move it already, we're not dead, pick up the pace!".
I felt a grin start to form on my lips and by the time Leandra reached me, I was grinning wickedly.
"What's with the evil smile?" the girl asked me, eyeing me uncertainly like I was losing my mind.
"Just an evil plan in the making – or, a revenge plan," I said airily. No, I won't tell her who I was until the right moment. Who knows if she'll even believe me and won't send me to the loony bin?
And no, I don't belong there so stop looking at me like that!
Leandra shot me a curious look, as though she could read my thoughts – Hmm, will look into that – before nodding slowly. "All right then…"
I continued to smirk and Leandra edged away from me. "Err…I best be off," she muttered and dashed away before I could convince her of my innocence and sanity.
I shrugged it off and continued on my way, still marveling over the details of my plan. Ever single piece had to fit…every single detail had to be precise and strike a blow…
I went outside to the gardens and merely strolled around, absently looking at some of the flowers.
Tactics. Megan had mentioned tactics and strategies. Even though I hadn't researched or anything, I still knew the basics. And a number one thing was to discover the enemy's weakness.
I pondered over this and though many ideas shot up, I quickly shot them down.
Growing tired of the gardens, I went to the hill near the kitchens. Plopping down, I sat outside of the kitchens. I knew I wouldn't be disturbed; apparently, it was lunchtime for the servants. I stared across the long expanse of the fields. So pretty…
No. Focus. Jeez, I have such a short attention span.
I sighed and picked at a grass strain. The more I thought about it, The Plan seemed more impossible to actually carry out. I was just one servant girl against a princess, a noble lady, and a fairy.
I pursued my lips. I could…
No. Involving other people could get them dismissed.
Sighing again, I rolled on my stomach so I could watch a little ant walk (or is it crawl?) around, carrying what looked like a breadcrumb on it's back.
My stomach growled.
No, I was NOT going to steal from this innocent little ant.
Darn it, I'm hungry! GIMME THAT CRUMB, YOU ANT-FIEND! FOOD!
But just as I reached down to snatch my treat, I heard the clock gong loudly, signaling that all servants must get back to work.
Darn it. I glared at the ant, which obliviously made its way to the anthill. Next time, little one.
I stood, brushing dirt off me and scowling. I had to control my thoughts around Priscilla, hoping she wouldn't read my mind and discover my plans. Because if she did, I think she would turn me into a slug.
…Wow, ew, could she do that? I shrugged, getting a shiver up and down my spine.
I walked with a group of servants, who were all grumbling about their lunch break seeming shorter and shorter.
…I never knew we had a lunch break! Interesting!
A short, plump man suddenly ran down the hall, holding a trumpet. He halted in front of us and blew his little trumpet. Very loudly, might I add. So loud, that I squealed and covered my ears to protect them from possible hearing damage.
The trumpet man lowered his evil instrument and gave me a strange look before clearing his throat. He puffed himself importantly, his chest becoming fuller as we all stared.
He deflated before walking away, "Dang, I can't even rise a joke out of these fellows anymore. Phil, where's your spark?"
The servants quickly hurried away from the odd man and I followed. Heck, I wasn't about to be left with some oddball! It could damage my totally sane personality!
…Would you please keep your thoughts to yourself? Thank you, moving on!
I jumped a mile, as did the group of servants. What the –
Skies above, earthquake! As I prepared to dodge under a doorway, I heard a faint tinkling of a bell.
Oh. Right. Me.
I threw the scared-out-of-their-wits servants a mistresses-what-can-you-do-with-them-besides-ring-their-necks? And they shot me a yeah-don't-you-hate-them look. So I gave them a yeah-later look before running off to the evil princess's room.
When I entered, Elaine was glaring ice darts at me as she tapped her foot impatiently.
"I have rung that bell about a million times," she said slowly, her voice dripping with menace. "And you have not responded. Where were you?"
I blinked. "Uhh…lunch?"
Elaine inhaled sharply. "You were eating lunch when I needed you?" Her face was turning a tad red…hmm…
Me, being the ever so articulate, replied, "Uh…yeah, pretty much." And the ever so daft.
There was a pause before Elaine exploded. "WHAT THE DAMNATION WHERE YOU EATING LUNCH FOR, YOU PATHETIC SLIME? I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE EVERY SINGLE MOMENT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU WENCH? THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE! I'LL HAVE YOU HANGED, YOU HEAR? HANGED!"
By the end of this rather eloquent lecture, Elaine was very red in the face and sparks were flying out of her eyes as she panted heavily, glaring. Me, I was just staring at her warily as I shot a glance at her perfectly manicured, sharp nails. Steady there…calm…sit!
Elaine suddenly slumped into her chair, looking worn out. And she did something I did not expect: she burst into tears.
"I am awful!" she sobbed as I stared, bewildered. "I am an awful, beautiful princess!" Her sobs rose and I stared helplessly at her and the door, my escape.
What, do you expect me to comfort the girl? You must be out of your mind.
"Um…it'll be all right?" I offered hopelessly. See, I tried!
Elaine glared at me and leaped from her chair. "No, it won't be!" she shrieked and I winced at the high pitch. "The ball is fast in approaching and I have not achieved anything with my time here! So it is not okay, do you hear? It is not!" And she promptly burst into tears again.
What the heck was going on?
"Adena Maria." What? Wasn't she just sobbing? How'd she become so menacing? "I will marry Prince Dane and you – will – not – interfere. DO YOU HEAR ME?"
I jumped. "Yes, milady!" Please don't start sobbing again, please don't.
"Leave me," she hissed and I immediately obliged.
Whoa, talk about your freaking hormo –
"Hey, Rose!" I whirled around and saw Leandra walking towards me, holding a stack of laundry and looking cheerful.
"Who's are those?" I asked in disgust as I stared at the clothing in her arms. My nose wrinkled. Ew, those clothes disgusting! Whoever picked out those colors definitely doesn't know how to match.
Leandra grimaced, glancing quickly down at the clothing before looking away. She blinked rapidly. "They still hurt my eyes!" she exclaimed. "And I have no clue; I'm just told to put them in some room on the something floor."
"Nice, you forgot where to put 'em."
Leandra shrugged, tossing her hair out of her way. "Yeah, well, whoever owns it will definitely not miss them."
I nodded in agreement, eyeing the garments before looking away, my eyes hurting. bright…ugh.
"So," Leandra asked me as we began walking down the hall, pondering which room to stuff the Incredibly Bright and Disgusting Garments in. "How was the she-demon?"
I blinked, confused, but then figured out who she was talking about. "Oh! Princess Elaine! Right. Well, she's insane as ever; I think she's finally cracked, too. I went in there and she started sobbing, screaming, laughing – she was on mood swing high."
I laughed but stopped when I noticed Leandra shooting me a strange look. Um…hello? I didn't do anything this time to deserve that! I was totally normal! Sheesh, I'm normal and I STILL get those looks.
"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the ball isn't that far off," Leandra said slowly, looking amused.
I opened my mouth to retort but then closed it. Hey, she does have a point!
"So Elaine is freaking out because she still hasn't won the prince's affections?" I pondered out loud.
"Yes, Rose, that about hits the mark," Leandra remarked sarcastically, shifting the clothes in her arms and still giving me that amused look.
I glared. "So, where's your twin? I like her better; she's nicer."
Leandra ignored the insult and replied, "Oh, she's probably out in the gardens reading."
"Shush, keep your voice down!" admonished the younger-than-thou girl, glancing around to make sure no one heard. She lowered her voice. "Yeah, Leala is able to get time off to go and read 'cause all the servants think she's way too nice and deserves a ton of breaks." She shot me a grin. "Sometimes, we switch so I get the breaks. She's horrible at acting like me, though."
"And you're wonderful playing nice?" I shot back, still amazed that Leala, sweet little Leala, was getting time off while some servants were forced to endure evil persons. (CoughElaineCough).
Not naming anyone, of course.
She didn't reply; instead, she chose to roll her eyes.
"Well, I'll be off now," I said. "Don't feel like dropping off ugly garments; that's not my thing, you know."
Leandra laughed and I left her. I hesitated outside Elaine's room then decided against going in; um, insane princess? Duh.
So I decided to pull a Leala and headed outside. Playing with the grass once again (and keeping my eye out for that ant fiend), I threw ideas around in my head.
What could make Elaine wish she never met yours truly? That she never dared to go against her? What could I do that Priscilla wouldn't be able to pin on me and turn me into a slug (ew)?
No ideas came to me – at least, no good ones. There was always the classic, like putting rats in her rooms but no. No. It needed to be more brilliant, more…more.
Groaning in frustration, I stood up and made my way to the kitchen door. Maybe food would help energize me and help me execute a plan.
Just as I placed my hand on the kitchen door, I felt someone pull me away and into the bushes. My mouth opened to emit a scream – heck, I was pretty sure this wasn't a normal everyday occurrence here – when a rough hand covered my mouth.
"Shush, or you'll ruin it," a voice whispered into my ear and I felt myself freeze.
Okay, I totally knew that voice.
We stood hidden in the bushes, just staring at the door. Millions of thoughts were running through my mind – like if there was still some pudding left over – as I stood, tensely, against the Prince of Amea, His Ever-So-Royal Highness, Prince Dane of Amea.
Just as I couldn't take it anymore and almost screamed my true identity, the door opened and the cook came outside, looking bored.
And didn't notice the bucket of tomato sauce that fell on top of him.
He froze and the tomato sauce dripped down. My mouth fell open as I stared wide-eyed at the cook. Behind me, Dane was shaking silently and I knew he was trying to control his laughter.
"Fredrick?" another cook called and walked outside – and slipped on the tomato sauce that now covered the ground. Moaning slightly, he stared up at his partner. "Prince Dane?"
"Prince Dane," the cook confirmed grimly, rubbing away the tomato sauce from his eyes. Both cooks looked at themselves before bursting into laughter. Still laughing, Fredrick helped up Fallen Cook and both went back instead, amidst the gasps of the other cooks.
"Hmm, that went over well," Dane muttered behind me.
He…prank…the prince…got away…
My thoughts couldn't process this or put it in a simple sentence. So my mouth did the talking.
"That was brilliant!" I exclaimed, jumping out of the bushes and staring at him as he emerged. I looked at the bucket, which definitely hadn't been there before. "How'd you get the bucket there? It wasn't there before! And did you see their expressions? Pure shock!" I doubled over, laughing, still seeing this faces.
But I realized, as I was laughing myself to death, that Dane wasn't laughing – instead, he was looking at me as though I was insane.
He even asked, "Do you fare well, servant?" His brow was creased curiously and he tilted his head at me.
All laughter left me and I was left gaping. "Um…yeah…perfectly fine…" I hesitated before quickly curtseying. "Your Highness."
Oops, almost forgot the importance of saying that title thing. No wonder he was giving me a weird look.
"I'll just, uh, be going now," I said quickly and turned to leave.
"Have we met before, maiden?" Dane's voice stopped me.
He analyzed me and something came over his eyes. "You remind me of someone…"
I laughed nervously, cursing myself for acting like an idiot – my unique trademark. "Ah, well, I doubt it, Your Highness, for I am merely a handmaiden to Her Highness, Princess Elaine."
A sour look came across Dane's features. "Oh," he said, his voice slightly cold.
Hey, it isn't my fault psycho princess has taken a fancy to you, prince boy, so don't get all cold on me!
"Yes…" I instead said, being quite fond on my head being attacked to the rest of my body. "So…I best be going now to, uh, serve her…Your Highness…" And I scurried away, food completely forgotten.
Okay, maybe not completely forgotten. But enough so that I would abandon it to escape Dane.
Sigh. Yes. I am so not a confront-them kind of person.
So I ran as quick as I could, trying to find a place to hide (you'd think a castle of this size would have some secret passageways) and not think about Dane and his prank.
Which could explain the reason that I didn't notice the door. And could possibly explain the reason why I slammed head first into it. And if you really thought about it, it could explain why I passed out after slamming into the door full force and blacked out.
Ow…doors hurt when you run into them, was my first thought as I finally came to, followed closely by is it dinner time yet? I rubbed the bump on my head and winced.
Owwwwwwwwwwww. I groaned and came to the conclusion that the doors had aligned themselves against me and were on the Evil Trio's side. Hey, maybe the ceilings were on mine!
Suddenly, I heard faint whispering and I blinked against the dim light, trying to strain and hear.
" – quite hard – running so fast?" A deep voice asked somewhere far on my left, hidden behind a curtain of sorts. Another voice replied.
" – seemed a bit peculiar when I talked to – didn't see the door – must've been – "
The first voice chuckled. "Well, Prince Dane, it is a good thing you were there to help the young maiden."
I shot up in my bed, eyes wild – and got a killer headache but I ignored it.
No. Way. Prince Dane did not save me. Worse, he did not see me slam into a door like a complete lunatic and get knocked out.
…I'm just like one of those damsel in distress girls! What?
"I shall check on the patient now," the other man said – who I'm pretty sure was the doctor – and I heard footsteps near me. "You may leave, Prince Dane; I shall tell her of her rescuer once she awakes."
Dane snorted. "And have her faint at the thought of the prince saving her? No, Walter, please, omit my part in any of this – I do not need another fan girl." He sighed and I could imagine him running a hand through his hair. "However, I best be off. Father wishes to discuss some political matters."
"Ah, well then, I wish you the best of luck." At that, I heard Dane leave and the doctor begin to approach me, muttering, "Wonder why the girl was running so wildly."
Oh crud! He's coming! I immediately lay back down and closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I heard the curtains open and felt his eyes staring at me.
Um, is this creepy or what? And, if you think about it, doctors totally do this all the time. They stare at their patients when they're sleeping and it's just plain weird. Or am I the only one who thinks this?
I heard him chuckle and I tensed.
"You're fooling no one, lass. I've seen thousands of patients before you and can tell when one is truly sleeping and when one is faking it."
I flinched but opened my eyes anyway, facing the amused doctor.
"Uhh…" Ah, my eloquent speech hasn't left me after all. Sarcasm heavily stressed.
He chuckled again and moved to examine me, checking my temperature and other doctor stuff.
"How are you feeling?" He asked as he felt my forehead.
My headache reminded me of its presence and I groaned. "Headache. Ow."
"Ah, yes," he murmured. "I have a remedy for that. Anything else?"
My stomach growled. "I'm kind of hungry…got any food?"
He outright laughed at that. "Yes, there is also a remedy for that," he commented amusedly. He cocked his head at me, eyes twinkling. "Any reason why you were running at the speed you were? And why you didn't see the door? Is there any trouble in your vision?"
"Uh, no. I was just, um, trying to see if I could, um, run faster than the wind?" I suggested hesitantly.
Wow, my powers of lying haven't left me either. What kind of door did I run into anyway?
"Really." He didn't believe me – or he was just insane and smiling all knowingly for the heck of it.
He chuckled as he began to move away. "I would say you were trying to escape the prince, lass."
I made my eyes got wide as he looked at me. "Run from the prince, good doctor? Of course not!"
He rolled his eyes. "I'm sure, Rose."
I blinked. "How'd you know my name?" I asked suspiciously.
He sighed, glancing quickly over his shoulder to look around to make sure no one was around.
"Well…let's just say I'm a half-child."
He sighed again, this time impatiently. "I mean…I am half human and half…well, half fairy."
His face scrunched. "Yes. Way."
"You read my mind!" I screeched before my eyes widened. No…way… "Wait…you read my mind!"
Walter began to look irritable. "Keep your voice low!" he hissed and I immediately felt my voice disappear.
Oh no he didn't!
I began making noises against my sealed mouth, glaring hatefully at the half-child. And why was he a half-child? He's a grown man, after all!
"They call us half-children because that is the name they – the fairies – dubbed us, those of us who have one parent who is a fairy and one who is a human," he hissed. "And stop making so much noise or I'll never take off the spell!"
I stopped immediately and Walter nodded.
"Good. Now listen closely, lass, because I will not repeat it: there is a war going on between the fairies. Or there will be. Well, there's always been one – not a full-out war, per say, but a dislike between two type of fairies – "
I made an impatient noise and he jumped.
"Oh yes! Sorry. Well, anyways, ever since Priscilla placed this spell on you, the Fairy Council has been debating whether this is magic that must be cancelled immediately. The fairy world is being torn apart; some support Calla, others support Priscilla."
I blinked. Wait…this is my fault?
"Partially, yes," Walter said unabashedly and I glared. "Sorry. I don't have control over my magic; it comes and goes. I can sometimes do spells – such as that silence spell – but other times, I'm just like any other human." He shrugged nonchalantly but my eyes narrowed.
Wait one grass's second…You mean your magic doesn't always work?
He looked nervous. "Well…yes. That's why I'm a doctor; I can use my magic to help the ill by whipping up potions and such but can't become a Watcher or godfather fairy."
No, I'm talking about me being bloody silent!
His face paled. "Ah, yes. Well, you see, I can use magic when I feel irritable, I sometimes unleash some magic unwillingly."
Start unleashing magic, bud, or I'll be willingly inflicting pain on you!
He withered under my glare. "I-I dare not try, lass; if I failed, you could be transformed into some animal, such as a slug."
My nose scrunched. Oh ew. I huffed impatiently. Then get Carl.
Walter looked even more uncomfortable. "Well…Carl has gone to calm his wife down before she destroys the fairy council so we are, ah, somewhat without magical assistance."
…You must be kidding me.
He chuckled nervously. "Sadly, no, lass. It will last off in a day or two!"
I stared at him and asked him, So what am I supposed to do until Carl gets back?
Walter didn't reply; he just ran – excuse me, scurried – as quickly as he could to get away.
Well, isn't this just peachy?
I angrily stormed the corridors. Having no voice was turning out to be a pain. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. UGH!
As I was so consumed in my thoughts, I didn't hear any footsteps, so when I turned the corner, slammed right into a solid human being.
What, is today Slam-Into-Everything Day or something?
I wanted to snap at the person I had ran into – hey, better to place the blame on them – when I froze.
There is no possible way that this happening. The fairy council must really hate me and be doing this to see me being tortured.
'Cause guess who I slammed into? No, wait, I'll give you a clue: Begins with a Dane and ends with Future Ruler of Amea.
"Hey, you are the maid that ran into the door!" Dane exclaimed and I resisted the urge to slap him. What, was that my new title now? Was I to be dubbed Girl-Who-Slammed-Into-Door from this day hence?
Dane silenced my fears. "Oh, don't worry, I won't tell anyone," he assured me hastily and I smiled tentatively, mouthing, "Thanks."
He frowned. "Why not speak, maid?"
'Cause fairies hate me. I gestured wildly, trying to convey what had happened but at his baffled look, I stopped trying and shrugged, mouthing, Accident took it away.
His face scrunched up. "Um, all right then." He must've realized I was still on my bum on the floor – hey, just realized that too! – because he offered me his hand. "Here, let me help you up."
The second our hands touched, I felt something in my throat – no, not a lump, you silly people. I felt…I felt…
"My voice!" I squealed excitedly and true enough, there it was. I beamed at Dane, who eyed me. "It came back!"
"So it appears so…" he said slowly, trying to understand me before shaking his head. "You are a strange lass."
I laughed. "So I am told." Oh, crud. "I mean, if you say so, Your Highness." I curtseyed quickly.
He nodded. "Well…I best be off…have a safe trip to your quarters, maiden." Was there a hint of teasing in his voice?
He left before I could ask – like I would – leaving me to my thoughts.
Why had my voice come back? Didn't Walter say it'll come back in a day or two?
I shrugged and walked away. Magic sure is crazy.
As I made my way to my quarters, I thought long and hard about my pranks for Elaine. None seemed up to standard; none seemed perfect to show her who was boss.
Let mice go in room?
Have her kiss a frog?
What could hurt her so badly? I pondered as I walked to her room, having to check on her before I retired. What? As I put my hand on the doorknob and opened the door slowly, I heard Elaine's voice: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
I opened the door and saw her standing in front of the mirror, admiring her reflection from different angles and flashing her white teeth, sometimes giggling and purring, "Oh, I know I'm gorgeous! It's so good of you to notice!"
As though someone screamed it in my ear, an idea popped into my mind and a catlike grin spread across my face. I slowly closed the door, letting the words, "I'm so pretty, I'm so pretty!" be shut out. By the time the door was closed completely, I was grinning so widely I was surprised I didn't injure myself.
My Plan would soon be put into motion and Elaine had just given me the key to her downfall.
Insert evil laugh.
I'm so good.
A/N: And here I wait, anxious, wondering if anyone knows this story exists anymore, after almost a two year hiatus. I know it isn't as good as previous chapters; I just want you all to see I am trying and that I am going to finish this story, if it takes years. Just know if you have any questions, or comments, leave them in a review or email me.
And I know: only 10 pages? Compared to the twenty-two of last chapter's? Pathetic, I know. Shameful, even.