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Until Death and After

Chapter Eleven: Memory Loss

The taste of alcohol awakened me. The smell of grass brought another sense back to my mind. I turned over and opened my eyes, guessing that I was originally face down in the grass. I quickly had to shield my eyes, since the rain was pouring out from the clouds above. I sat up and looked around to see where I was. A cemetery. A cemetery? Rain dripped off of my nose. I cursed myself. Maybe it was just a dream. I turned around to look at the tombstone behind me. In big bold letters "Severus Snape" was carved into the stone. "But... I changed everything," I said to the tombstone. "I changed it!"

It stared blankly at me, not trying to comfort me. I rubbed my neck awkwardly telling myself not to cry. I felt the chain around my neck. "That means..." I looked to the stone once more. "I missed it," I sighed. "I missed everything."

I felt the tears rushing off my face as I lowered my head and hugged the tombstone. I pushed my face against the cold stone. Why was it turning out like that? I heard footsteps walking towards me. I turned to face him. "Severus?" I questioned.

A laugh came from Draco Malfoy. "Go figure you'd be here," he said. He paused. "Did you call me Severus?"

"Sorry," I said. "I thought you were someone else."

Draco held the umbrella over me. "If you're going to mourn, you mine as well be dry. What're you doing at his tombstone anyway?" he asked.

"I... I don't remember," I said.

Draco sat down beside me and muttered something about getting his suit dirty. His long blonde hair rested on my shoulder. "They told me you got fired," he said. "Do you need a pick me up?"

He put his arm tightly around my back. I nodded uneasily, "Yeah," I said. "I think I do."

A smile stretched across his face. "Okay," he brushed his lips against my cheek.

His hand found it's way into mine. I looked at his hand; we both had wedding rings on. Was I married to Draco? "I think I've lost my memory," I said, pulling away from the persistent Draco.

How could I abandon Snape for Draco? He picked the umbrella once more and stood up. He hand out his smooth hand to help me get up. "You were drinking, I'm not surprised," he said.

I stood up myself, not sure I wanted to be with Draco. I wiped my muddy hands against my pants. I noticed a tall, slim figure approach us. I ran to who I hoped was Severus. "Harry?" his voice stopped me in my tracks. I looked up at Severus. He basically looked the same except his silky black hair had several grey highlights. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

The rain caused his hair to cling to his face. "I... I was mourning you," I pointed to his grave.

He chuckled. "Were you mourning yourself too?" he pointed to the tombstone next to his. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yes," I said. I probably had been, I just lost my job. I walked back to where his tombstone was and looked at the one next to his. "Am I dead too?"

Carved into tombstone was my name. "Harry, we bought those, in case we couldn't afford it on another occasion," his eyes watched Draco. "Because... you said you wanted to be buried with me."

I nodded. "I still do," I said.

A smiled stretched across his thin face. Draco spoke up. "He told me that he lost some of his memory. He really thought you were dead," he said.

Severus put his arm around me. "Well he'll just have to go back to the house to get back up on his feet," he said.

I nodded. "You'll show me where, right?" I asked.

"Actually, I was in the middle of something, but your boss called and said you were rather upset," Severus said. "I'll get a cab for you."

"I'll take him, sir," Draco said.

Severus bit his bottom lip and looked down. He was having trouble making eye contact with Draco. "Do you want him to Harry?"

"Sure," I said, hoping that Draco could fill in some things for me.

Snape looked hurt. "I'll see you at home," he ran his hand against my back.

Draco held his umbrella overtop of my head once more. "Come on," Draco smiled handsomely. "You didn't think I walked here did you?"

I walked beside Draco in silence. He opened the car door for me to let me in. I sat down carefully and examined his car. He slid down in the seat beside me. "So how much don't you remember?" he asked, starting the car.

"Everything before seventh year," I said.

"So," he was silent, probably thinking about how to say what he wanted to say. "You remember what I tried to do to you?"

I nodded. "Yes," I said.

"I apologized for that," he smiled at me.

I smiled back. "I guessed as much," I said.

"I'll quickly say everything," he said. "You graduated, got an awesome job, married Severus, started to have an affair with me, made lots of money, got cocky, lost your job."

"I'm having an affair with you?" I asked, realizing why Severus looked so hurt.

"Well, the old man isn't exactly home all the time," he said.

"Does he know?"

"Probably," he said. "He's probably doing the same thing with one of his students," he pulled into what I guessed to be my driveway. He put his hand on my leg. "It's nothing to worry about."

He smiled and walked out of the car. Even thought I tried again, my life still went to hell. I walked out of the car and followed him into the house. "Roxanne," he shouted as he walked in.

I heard footsteps as a woman walked down the stairs. It was my wife... ex-wife... from the first time I lived. "Roxie?" I asked, rather stunned.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?" she asked.

She was my maid. "He lost his memory," Draco said.

"And my job," I said.

"How does he know me then?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know," I lied. "Just one of those faces I guess."

Draco grabbed my hand. "So I'm going to remind him a little better," he winked.

I watched a thin girl walk into the room as she shouted, "Roxie I'm back!"

She paused in my presence. "What're you doing home?" she crossed her arms.

"Fired," I said.

"Go figure," she stared blankly at Draco.

Roxie put her arm on the girl's shoulder. "Your dad has lost his memory."

Dad? "Got too wasted, eh?" she said.

Draco spoke up in my defence. "He just lost his job, cut him some slack Kira."

"Cut him some slack?" she crossed her arms. She did remind me of Severus. "He gets fired, gets drunk and then goes to fuck you."

"Kira?" I asked, looking at the girl.

"My father named me," her bright green eyes watched me. "You were at work."

I was still a terrible father. She was rather pale, skinny and had long, black hair. She must have liked Severus more than I, if she went to Hogwarts she probably saw him more too. "I'm... sorry," I said.

She hugged me tightly. "It's okay, you don't remember any of it anyway," she said. "It's summer, so we finally get to spend some time together."

I hugged her back, feeling terrible. Why didn't it work the second time around? I heard Draco clear his throat as I released my daughter. "I have to be at work in ten minutes," he said. "Can I have some time with your dad?"

"Fine," she sighed.

I walked up to Draco, not sure if I wanted to do anything. "What's that?" he asked, glaring at my neck.

"What?" I said, feeling the chain around my neck.

"That piece of shit Snape gave you," he said. "You told me you got rid of it."

I smiled. "Well, I love him," I said.

He ripped the chain from my neck and dropped it to the ground. "The reason you're with me is because you don't love him," he seemed to soften. "Y-you love me."

The green pearl from the necklace rolled across the floor. "I don't," I said. "I don't know what I felt then, but I know what I feel now."

I tried not to be rude, but I ended up crushing him. "You're drunk, you don't know what you're saying," he said, in a panic.

"I feel sober enough," I replied.

"But..." he wrapped his arms around my waist. "You don't remember anything. You can't do this to me."

I took his arms off of me. "I DO remember that I love Severus, and I don't know what possessed me to like someone like you," I felt my eyes narrow into a glare. "Please leave my house."

He glared at me. "Fuck you Potter," he said, covering his face.

I watched him flip his blonde hair and walk out of the house. "Dad?" Kira asked.

I turned to face my daughter once more. "Yes?" I asked.

"You adored Mr. Malfoy. Why... did you make him leave?" she asked. "I'm not complaining of course..."

"I don't know what came over me," I said. I quickly caught on to her dad/father thing. I was her dad, which made Severus her father. "But I adore your father, even if he is barely around. Things are going to be slightly different."

She hugged me tightly and buried her face into my chest. "Please don't sober up," she said, half laughing.

I wrapped my arms around her and quickly noticed that Roxie had disappeared. "I won't," I said. "Is it summer?"

"Yes," she let go of me. "I forgot to let you know. Hermione and Ron are coming over later."

"Together?" I asked.

She rolled her eyes lightly. "They ARE married, dad. Sean, their son, is coming over too."

I smiled. "I don't mean to be rude," I started. "But... how did your father and I have you?"

"Oh," she returned my smile. "Genetics or something. They combined both of your sperm and added it to a woman to give birth to me."

"You looked like your father," I said.

"Your eyes," she pointed.

Roxie stepped back into the room. "I don't mean to interrupt," she started. "But Mr. Snape would like to see you," she said to me.

I nodded and leaned over to pick up the only piece of the necklace I could find. I smiled at my daughter once more before I left the room. Severus was waiting for me outside of the room. His dark eyes stared into me. Was he mad? "I'm sorry," I said.

He chuckled as his hand slid into mine. "Don't be," he said. He started to walk. "It hurt... a lot when you and Mr. Malfoy... started. I knew eventually you'd come back to me," he let go of my hand and wrapped his arm tightly around my back.

"Well," I looked up to my husband and smiled. "I did say I'd love you... forever. I just don't know what made me think different."

"You know," he said. "I knew this girl once and she told me that she'd love me until death and long after."

"Victoria," I said.

He raised an eyebrow. "I never told you about her," he said.

I looked to him. "You did," I said. "When we were on the plane, remember?"

He laughed. "Harry I've never been on a plane. I'm scared shitless of those things," he said. I felt tears start to stream down my face. My experience never existed. "What's wrong Harry?"

I looked into his concerned eyes. "How did we meet Severus?" I said.

"You mean, when I knew I loved you?" he asked. "You defeated he who shall not be named and... you saved my life. He was after me because I betrayed him and you risked everything for me."

I hugged him. "I still would," I said.

"As I would for you," he brushed his nose against mine as he leaned in to kiss my anxious lips.