Coffee Beans and Jenga Pieces Ch.1
Note: Ha ha, guess what? After doing "Obscured Apathy", I developed an affinity for Gaara, Temari, and Kankuro fics! This time, I was wondering how Gaara manages to stay awakeall nightand every day. This funny lil' idea popped into my head as a result. I think it'll be two chapters, though. Anyway, I don't own Naruto! Enjoy, and please leave a review. Have a nice day!
It was a day like any other for the Sand siblings, who went by the names of Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara.
Temari, the oldest and a girl, was the somewhat cruel yet caring caretaker of the little family. Kankuro, the second oldest and a boy, was a regular, moping teenager with too much face paint.
And Gaara, the baby of the family…a mentally deranged boy, who loved to kill people and was secretly partial to chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
It was no surprise that Temari and Kankuro feared their little brother; so sadly, the family was NOT a closely-knit one, as we would have liked.
Brotherly and sisterly love was a no-no, so each day passed as 24 hours of painful, loveless time.
But not this day…
This day, they would learn the meaning of family.
Funny how it'll take moments of paralyzing terror, missing coffee beans, and Hasbro© games to make them realize how much they love each other, ne?
Coffee Beans and Jenga Pieces
Kankuro swore as he dove under the table, barely managing to dodge the dinner plate that smashed against the wall. Gasping, he rolled out of the way when a fork flew at him, soon followed by a spatula.
"Temari!" He yelled, holding a tin tray over his head as his sister continued to pelt things at him. "Would you stop! I didn't mean it!"
"You bastard!" She shrieked at him, as he feebly crawled out from under the table. "You dare to tell me my food tastes like crap! I don't ever see you cooking!"
"I said I didn't mean it," he whined, wincing as she glared at him.
"You know what Kankuro? There's no need to apologize!" Temari said shakily. She pulled off her apron and threw it in his face.
"You can cook from now on, and I'll see how you like it!"
"Come on, Temari!" Kankuro called as she stormed out of the kitchen. Groaning in exasperation, he left the kitchen and hesitantly poked his head into the living room.
"Temari," he said weakly, when she turned her back to him. "Don't get mad. You know how Gaara gets annoyed when you start screaming…"
This apparently wasn't the right thing to say, because Temari stiffened and slowly turned, her right eye twitching horribly.
"Oh…" She said in a voice of forced calm. "I'll annoy Gaara…? Well, I'm sorrrrry, Kankuro. It seems like this is all my fault."
"You know that's not what I meant," Kankuro mumbled, as he lowered his gaze to the floor. "Just stop, okay? I'm sorry."
There was a moment of silence, in which Kankuro stood there awkwardly as Temari gaped at him.
"D-Did you just…apologize?" She asked incredulously after a few seconds.
She blinked in surprise as he shrugged and shuffled past her, desperately trying to avoid a moment of understanding and compromise.
"Kankuro?" she said in slight concern as she turned to see him leaving.
"Whatever," he mumbled quietly as he ascended the stairs, shoulders slumping as he tucked his hands into his pockets. He disappeared over the top step and shuffled towards his room, closing the door behind him.
Temari sighed and cast a regretful glance at the stairs before she trudged back to the kitchen, sighing again when she saw the mess she had made in her fury.
"Forget it," Temari said aloud after a few seconds. "I'm going to bed."
Turning, she gasped in surprise and stumbled back, tripping over the fallen spatula and landing rear first in a bulging bag of food scraps. Gaara was staring at her, looking visibly annoyed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Temari grimaced, feeling the rotten food slime up her behind and thighs.
"Ugh…" she groaned in disgust when she stood, and she felt some remnants drip off and land against the floor with gross splooching sounds.
Guiltily, she raised her gaze to Gaara and flinched when she saw him frown.
"You were being loud," he said bluntly, and she just nodded in response, paying no attention to her soiled clothes.
"I don't like it when you're loud. It's annoying."
"S-Sorry," she said, wincing as his eyes narrowed. "It won't happen again, Gaara…"
"…why were you screaming?"
Temari blinked in slight surprise, raising her head. Normally, Gaara would just threaten her and go on his merry way. Never had he questioned his sibling's behaviour.
"Uh…Kankuro and I had a fight," she said hesitantly as his eyes wandered the havoc in the kitchen. He turned his gaze back to her, and suddenly glared. Temari gasped when he took as step forward.
"Don't do it again," he said, a hint of warning in his voice.
Temari bobbed her head earnestly, trying not to sigh in relief. Suddenly, Gaara stepped over the discarded tin tray and walked towards the cutlery drawer as Temari watched anxiously.
He's not going for a weapon, is he? She questioned herself in a panic as he started rummaging through the utensils.
She blinked when he pulled out a spoon and walked over to the fridge. Without a backwards glance, he opened the freezer door and dug out a box of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, which he tucked under his arm.
Turning, he glanced at Temari, looking her up and down, wrinkling his nose slightly as more slop dripped off her.
"You smell," he said tonelessly.
Then he left.
Fortunately, Temari had changed her mind and decided to clean the kitchen before she trudged upstairs and took a shower, taking more than half an hour to wash the stink of old food off of her.
She was feeling frustrated, because a part of her was continuously reminding her that she had been too hard on Kankuro, whereas she still felt angry for his degradation of her cooking.
Well…she thought somewhat sadly as she headed to her room, glancing at her brothers' closed doors.
At least I smell good now.
Sighing, she closed her door behind her and retreated to her bed. Drawing the blanket tightly around her, she pulled out a frame from her bedside drawer. Staring wistfully at the picture of the three of them, she tucked it under her pillow and fell asleep.
In the other room, Kankuro was also sleeping, drooling a little as his subconscious mind wandered to what he had hidden under his pillow. Chortling a little in his sleep, the puppet master flopped onto his stomach.
If Temari ever found out about this hidden thing under his pillow…well, sometimes he shuddered to think.
If Gaara ever found out about this hidden thing under his pillow…well, that would be really weird.
And finally, in the last room, Gaara sat on his bed, leaning against the headboard as he contentedly ate his chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. It was the only sweet thing he cared for, and a whole carton would be especially reserved for him.
It had to be available at all times.
Or else…he thought grimly as he licked the last morsel off the spoon. There'd be hell to pay…
Throwing the empty carton to the floor, he got to his feet and wandered over to his desk, looking at the 1000 piece puzzle that was yet to be completed. This one was of St. Basil's cathedral in Moscow, and it was half done.
Those who wondered what Gaara did all night while others slept…this was it.
He completed enormous jigsaw puzzles, which Temari would frame and hang all over the house. It made the house look pretty, and it kept Gaara occupied during those long lonely hours.
What? Did you think he stared at the wall all night?
Sitting at the desk, he leaned over the puzzle pieces and started fitting them together. Strangely enough, he was making amazing progress and was so intent on finishing the puzzle that he didn't notice the clock strike 1:00 AM.
The realization came when his head started to feel unbearably heavy, and his forehead almost collided with the desk. Dropping a puzzle piece in surprise, he forced his eyes open and glanced at the clock.
He was more than an hour late in taking his nightly doses.
We're talking about doses of CAFFEINE here. No, this isn't the normal coffee you buy at the grocery store. This isn't even the hardcore espresso those university students and CEO's order from catalogues.
This was a forbidden coffee bean found only on the Brazilian Pacaraima Mountains, located 9000 feet above the ground, where no men dared venture.
…Except for a few Brazilian ninjas who obtained the coffee beans for uses in biological warfare.
Now these beans, called Igu Igu beans, were pitch black in colour, and meant a slow painful death to anyone who ate them. One bean was the equivalent of 673 shots of deluxe espresso, and the shock of the caffeine rush would result in convulsions and the explosion of the cerebellum in the brain.
It would kill anyone.
Anyone…but Gaara, that is.
Fortunately for the Sand-Nin, Shukaku provided the physical endurance needed for such a lethal coffee concoction, and it was the only thing that truly prevented Gaara from falling asleep and letting Shukaku wreak happy havoc.
One bean a night was the prescription, and was to be taken at midnight every day.
But it was 1:45 AM now, and Gaara could already feel the withdrawal symptoms. Moving to stand, he noticed with a silent curse that his body felt like lead. Stumbling out of his chair, he leaned against the wall as he slowly made his way out of his room and down the stairs.
He paused frequently, blinking as his vision dissolved temporarily into a haze of colours.
16.3 minutes later, he found himself in the kitchen. He threw open the cabinet above the exhaust fan, reaching for the tin can that contained the beans.
His eyes widened when he felt his fingers grasp at air, and for a moment he just stood there, feeling the empty space with his fingers.
A cold bead of sweat dripped down his neck as looked into the cabinet, staring in horror at the empty space next to the box of sugar. He pushed aside the sugar, and then started throwing things behind him, looking desperately for the tin can.
Another wave of dizziness hit him, and he collapsed against the counter, the cool surface slapping the drowsiness from him. Struggling towards the medicine cabinet, he knocked aside Temari's PMS medicine and Kankuro's Metamucil, only to see that it wasn't there.
"Where…?" He gasped as he slumped against the counter again, recalling Temari and Kankuro's fight with another thrill of horror. Temari must have grabbed his coffee and thrown it at Kankuro.
Lurching away from the counter, he stumbled out of the kitchen and hurled himself at the stairs, climbing with whatever energy he had left. He had to pause between steps to blink away the fogginess in his vision as his mind whirled.
It seemed like an eternity before he ascended the last stair, and gasping in effort, he stood up in the hallway. His head was pounding, and every step felt like a step closer to heaven, as Temari's door loomed ahead, so close but yet so far.
Breathing hard as another bead of sweat dripped over his brow, Gaara summoned whatever power he had left inside him and threw himself at Temari's door.
Temari was frowning in her sleep. She was having a strange dream in which she was in a fairy world, looking for a legendary Satyr named Kazekage with her dwarf companion, Kankuro, and pixie guide, Gaara.
Gaara was fluttering around her head and was pulling her hair, wearing the cutest arrangement of maple leaves and his gourd strapped on his back.
"Kankuro," she whined as she ducked her head. "Tell him to stop…"
Kankuro was stuffing his face with dirt, and then walked the other way and disappeared into the bushes.
"Kankuro!" She called in surprise, and then yelped when pixie Gaara yanked on her hair again.
"Would you stop it!"
Turning away from him in a huff, she stood there for a few seconds, wondering what the hell she was doing in such a messed up dream when Gaara suddenly took off his gourd and threw it at the back of her head.
"Ah!" She gasped in surprise when she woke and sat up abruptly, the sound of her door bursting open startling her.
Gaara stumbled in, staggering like a drunk as he leaned against her dresser, raising his head to choke out two words as Temari stood up in alarm.
"Need…" he choked out. "…coffee!"
Abruptly, he went still, and his hand slipped off her dresser when he suddenly passed out, falling to the floor with a thump.
"Gaara!" Temari cried as she rushed to his side, staring in horror at him lying face down on the floor.
Grabbing him, she turned him over and realized with a cold wave of dread that he was doing the last thing anybody wanted him to do.
He was asleep.
"KANKURO!" Temari screamed at the top of her lungs as she pulled Gaara's head into her lap. "WAKE UP!"
There was a sound of a distant crash in the other room and a muffled curse. A sudden thump told Temari that he had fallen out of his bed, but he ran into the hallway a few seconds later, skidding into her room wearing only his robe over his happy face boxers.
"What happened?" He yelled as he burst in, looking down at Temari frantically slapping Gaara's cheeks.
"He's asleep!" Temari cried, as all the colour drained from Kankuro's face. "He's out cold!"
"Oh my God!" Kankuro gasped, slapping his hands to his face in horror. "We're gonna die!"
"He needs his coffee," Temari said as she heaved her unconscious brother to his feet, letting Kankuro sling him over his shoulder. "We have to find it!"
Kankuro nodded nervously as she shot out of her room and practically jumped the stairs, with Kankuro struggling after her.
Dumping Gaara unceremoniously against the sofa, Kankuro frantically tried to wake him as Temari tore the kitchen apart, looking for the missing tin can.
"Aauugghhh!" Kankuro's yell of alarm came from the living room. "Hurry, Temari! He's starting to go veiny!"
Swearing in her blind panic, Temari knelt to look under the table. She almost fainted with relief when she saw the can of Igu Igu beans lying on its side. Straining her arm, she reached for it and grabbed it.
Jumping to her feet, she yanked off the lid and pulled out one bean, crushing it in her fist before she dumped it in a cup. She quickly filled it with water before rushing into the living room.
Kankuro grabbed Gaara's jaw and opened his mouth, grimacing when he noticed the elongating fangs.
Wasting no time, Temari knelt before him and tilted his head forward. She tipped the coffee down his throat as Kankuro prostrated himself on the floor and prayed for entrance into Heaven if he died.
Temari dropped the cup as the last of the drops disappeared into Gaara's mouth, and Kankuro slowly stood up.
Seconds passed as they both stood there, petrified.
Then Gaara's eyes suddenly opened.
Gaara's hand shot out and he grabbed Kankuro by his robe and threw him over the sofa, his now yellow eyes glowing evilly as he sat up.
Temari scrambled back on her hands and feet and stared, wide-eyed, as Gaara's hand came to his head, and he blinked. The Igu Igu beans started to work their magic, and Shukaku had no choice but to withdraw from the supreme caffeine powers.
Slowly, the varicose veins disappeared and he blinked away the yellow from his eyes.
"Kankuro?" Temari squeaked over her shoulder as Gaara raised his head and looked around in confusion. "I think he's okay…"
The puppet master slowly peeked over the top of the sofa, eyes staring fearfully at the innocent looking red head sitting on the sofa, looking ever so confused.
"Okay…?" Kankuro whimpered in rage, as he slowly stood, his hand rising to point shakily at his demonic brother. "He tried to kill me!"
"It's not his fault," Temari said, trembling a bit as she stood, her cautious gaze still on Gaara.
"Temari?" Gaara questioned, sounding somewhat dazed. "What happened?"
"N-Nothing Gaara," she answered, too relieved to notice Kankuro's fury as he advanced towards Gaara. "You just needed to take your coffee."
"HE DOESN'T NEED COFFEE!" Kankuro suddenly screamed hysterically, turning to face Temari. "HE NEEDS A FREAKIN' EXORCIST!"
"Kankuro!" Temari gasped, as Gaara turned his gaze on him, his eyes narrowing dangerously.
"Shut up," Gaara said quietly, glaring poison at Kankuro. "My head hurts."
Kankuro could only mouth wordlessly like a fish out of water as Temari dragged him out of the living room.
"Have you lost your mind?" She hissed, pushing him against the wall. "Do you want to die?"
"You're taking his side?" Kankuro hissed back with equal vehemence. "You know that he wouldn't hesitate to kill either of us!"
"Don't start this now," Temari warned, casting a paranoid glance over her shoulder. "He might hear you."
"I don't care anymore, Temari!"
"…you know you love him."
Kankuro just stared at her, his mouth agape for a few seconds.
"Shut up. Teenage boys are so retarded!" Temari sighed, giving him a knowing glare. "You act like you don't care about him, but I know you better than that. He's your brother, and no matter how many times he threatens to kill you, you'll still love him."
"That…" Kankuro said blankly. "Is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."
"Only because you're too stupid to understand!" Temari growled, before grabbing his arm and steering him back into the living room.
Gaara was still sitting there, and for a moment, the three of them just stared at each other.
"Um…" Temari started, trying to break the eerie silence. "I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep…"
"Me neither," Kankuro grumbled, crossing his arms.
"…" Gaara just stared, looking like a subdued little raccoon with his tousled hair and black-rimmed eyes.
"Hey," Temari suddenly offered with a weak smile. "Why don't we just play some board games or something? You know…to pass the time?"
"Whatever," Kankuro shrugged.
"…" Gaara still stared…and still looked like a subdued raccoon.
"Okay then!" Temari said brightly, happy to spend some quality family time with her brothers. "I'll get them. They're in your room, right Kankuro?"
He just nodded tiredly in response.
"I'll be back in a sec," Temari said as she left, leaving her brothers in the living room, ALONE.
Kankuro slowly lowered his behind to the floor, keeping his cautious gaze on the subdued human raccoon that was Gaara.
"So…" Kankuro said, wincing at the unbearable silence. "Uh…what's your favourite game, Gaara?"
Gaara slowly turned his head to stare at him, and Kankuro tried not to recoil as Gaara smiled, rather psychotically.
A bead of sweat dripped down Kankuro's neck.
"O-Oh…t-that's cool, Gaara. Heh…yeah," he stammered, trying not to sigh in relief as Temari's footsteps approached.
Turning, Kankuro looked up and saw what she was holding amongst the pile of games.
The world fell away beneath him.
"I…that…Temari…!" He gasped, as Temari dropped the games to the table and gave him a glare that would have melted lead.
"What…" she whispered, her voice laced with venom as she raised the object. "…is this thing doing in our house?"
It must have fallen from beneath my pillow when…
"Oh shit," Kankuro said in a small voice as Temari threw it down on the table and let hell loose.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" She shrieked, too incensed to worry about Gaara's headache. "Hiding porno magazines in your room!"
Kankuro just cowered under her rage as Temari fumed with disgust, and although she was shrieking, Gaara wasn't angry at all.
On the contrary, he now looked like an inquisitive little raccoon as he glanced between the two of them, looking slightly intrigued.
"What's porno?" He asked curiously.