Coffee Beans and Jenga Beans Ch.2
Note: Yay, back with chapter 2! Thanx a lot to all those who reviewed. I LOVE you people! Anyway, this'll probably be the last chapter, so I hope you guys like it. I included a couple of old school games in here some people may recognize. Anyway, enjoy, and please leave a review! Thanx, have a nice day.
Coffee Beans and Jenga Pieces
"What's porno?" Gaara asked curiously.
Temari froze in mid-rant and Kankuro paled as they both slowly turned to look at their demonic brother. Gaara looked at them expectantly as they just stared at him, speechless.
Simultaneously, one thought clicked in Temari and Kankuro's heads.
"Oh shit," Kankuro whimpered again as Temari turned her furious gaze back to him.
"This is all your freakin' fault!" She screeched, hitting him upside the head. "If you hadn't brought this stupid thing into the house then we'd never have to explain this to him!"
"He's twelve years old!" Kankuro cried in defense, recoiling from her. "It's about time he learned!"
"Not like this!" Temari shrieked, gesturing wildly to the magazine on the table.
They both looked down at it at the same time, only to realize that it wasn't there.
"What the hell?" Kankuro said blankly. "Where'd it…"
The world fell away beneath BOTH of them.
They both whirled around to see Gaara picking up the magazine, brow furrowed in intrigue as he parted the covers.
"NOOO!" Temari screamed, leaping over the table, diving and tearing the magazine from his hands. Gaara blinked in shock as she dove in front him, swiping the magazine and rolling 007 style across the floor.
"That's not for your eyes, Gaara," Kankuro rambled as he stood up, ready to run for it if Gaara got angry. "You're too young!"
Temari leapt to her feet, clutching the magazine to her chest as her cheeks paled, the realization of what she did hitting her.
I'm dead…she thought numbly. Gaara's going to Desert Coffin me any second now…
But for some reason, Gaara didn't react in the violent and spontaneous way they imagined. Instead, he just gave Temari a look of annoyance and bewilderment.
"Give it to me," he said, holding his hand out expectantly. "I want to see it."
Temari shook her head wildly, backing up as Kankuro watched in absolute terror and shock.
"I won't!" She cried dramatically. "I won't let this smut ruin your innocence, Gaara!"
"What the fu…" Kankuro started, his eyes nearly bulging out of his head. "Innocence! Temari, he's killed more people than you, me, and Master Baki put together!"
Gaara slowly stood up, eyes narrowing in anger at Temari's defiance.
"Give it to me, or I'll kill you," he said flatly.
"No!" Temari wailed, pushing herself against the wall. "You may be a deranged psychopath, but I'd rather you be that than a perverted deranged psychopath!"
Gaara cocked his head to the side, his angry look fading slightly.
"Give it to him, Temari," Kankuro whispered in concern. "If you die, who's gonna cook for us?"
"Shut up!" Temari hissed at him, before turning her gaze back to the bemused Gaara.
"Y-Yeah…" she stammered. "I don't want you to grow up to be perverted because…because…"
"What's perverted?" Gaara interjected.
"Perverted…they're, uh, they're people who look at these magazines!" Temari said with a grimace as she raised the magazine slightly. "They're dirty-minded people…
"Like Kankuro," she added as an afterthought.
"Shut up, Kankuro," Gaara said, glaring balefully at his brother. "I want to hear Temari."
Gaara turned his gaze back to her, and then looked at the magazine curiously. He took a step forward, extending his hand again.
"I want to see it."
Temari slowly shook her head, paling considerably as she imagined her impending death.
"I won't let you," she whispered forcefully, trying not to cower as Gaara glared at her insolence. "I'd rather die than let you lose your virtue over this garbage."
Gaara blinked in surprise and Kankuro gaped at her in shock.
"But you'd never do that for me!" Kankuro gasped in indignation.
"Shut up, Kankuro," they both snarled at the same time.
Gaara looked back at Temari, and decided that killing her wouldn't be worth the trouble to look at the magazine. If he did, who'd buy him his chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream?
"What's in it?" Gaara suddenly asked.
Temari's face went a pale green as she lowered her eyes to the cover. Then, a frighteningly evil look shadowed her face as she raised her head to look at Kankuro.
"Well, since this is YOUR magazine, Kankuro," Temari said between clenched teeth. "Why don't YOU tell him?"
Kankuro's eyes widened as Gaara turned to him expectantly, and he felt his mouth go dry.
"Porno…it's, uh…" he hesitated, wondering if he could explain it in a way that would repulse his brother. "There are pictures of people…and…" he felt his face go red.
He couldn't possibly tell him what they were actually doing.
NO WAY IN HELL.
Gaara tilted his head to the side, looking rather perplexed and disgusted; disgusted because he couldn't understand why Kankuro would want to look at something like that.
"Naked," Gaara repeated, and at this point many fan girls squealed at the thought of that word coming out of Gaara's mouth.
"Yeah," Kankuro said uncomfortably, as Temari death glared at him. "Naked."
"Yes it is!" Temari said, a little hysterically as she waved the magazine around. "It's TOTALLY stupid! So I'm going to…" she grabbed the cover.
She tore it to shreds.
"…piece of filth!"
She incinerated it with a Katon Ryuuka no Jutsu which she had randomly picked up somewhere.
"…there," she sighed in relief, dusting her hands off. "No more porno."
Kankuro looked sadly at the dusty remains of his entertainment.
Gaara still looked perplexed, but more so disgusted.
"You're pathetic, Kankuro," he said coldly. He made a face similar to the one he made when he told Temari she smelled in the last chapter.
"Porno," he said, expressionless. "I don't like it. It's gross."
"Oh!" Temari gasped in joy as Kankuro hung his head, and she had to forcefully control herself to keep from hugging Gaara.
She was so happy.
Gaara's mind would retain its virgin like chastity after all.
"Well," Temari said breathlessly, looking relieved. "Now that THAT'S over, we can get back to playing some games!" At this point she glared at Kankuro.
"I'll deal with YOU later…" she whispered with a dangerous glower.
Kankuro gulped as she sat down in front of the table, next to him as Gaara sat at the opposite end of the table by himself. He looked down at the pile of games, and picked up a rectangular box.
"Jenga," Temari replied as Gaara spilled the wooden blocks out onto the table. "We first stack them, and then take out blocks and place them at the top. Whoever topples it, well, I guess they're the loser."
Gaara stared at her.
"And…" Temari said hesitantly, wondering if Gaara even knew the meaning of fun. "That's it."
"It's not as easy as it looks," Kankuro added, grumpily. "It tests your stealth skills."
Gaara looked slightly interested now, and leaned towards the tower of blocks Temari constructed.
He pushed out a block from somewhere in the middle, and placed it on top, giving Kankuro a questioning glance.
"Yeah," Kankuro nodded, leaning forward since it was his turn. "But it's gonna get harder." He pushed out a piece from somewhere above the hole and placed it next to Gaara's piece.
They continued like this for approximately 14 minutes, and then it got tense.
"Uh…" Kankuro mumbled as he looked at the haphazard pile of blocks. "Maybe this one…"
"No," Temari said, shaking her head. "Up higher."
"Higher will topple it."
"But the base is the support."
"Shut up," Gaara interjected, and they fell silent. "From the middle."
Kankuro complied and carefully pulled a side piece from the middle, inhaling sharply when the tower shook slightly. He placed it carefully at the top, sighing in relief.
"Hah, your turn, Temari."
Up until now, Gaara had been doing very well and hadn't hesitated, whereas Temari and Kankuro were pretty well-matched in hesitation and making the tower wobble. Refusing to lose to Kankuro, Temari concentrated hard.
Biting her lip, Temari gingerly pushed at a block from the top, eyes widening when the tower shook slightly. It seemed like an eternity before she got the damn thing out. When she did, she quickly added it to the top and let out a deep breath.
"Your turn, Gaara."
Now that the game was getting difficult, Gaara seemed to be getting more interested. Even he couldn't help but hesitate as he examined the tower, which was now twice the size of the original.
Gaara's eyes wandered the pile of blocks, and then the slightest and most subtle hints of a triumphant smirk lit his face. Daringly, he pulled out a side piece from high up on the tower, and Kankuro and Temari watched in awe as he placed it at the top, all without a single wobble.
"You're good at this, Gaara," Kankuro mumbled as all the pressure fell on him.
"You're gonna drop it," Temari said nervously as he poked experimentally at the blocks.
"No I won't," he drawled, suddenly poking out a piece which slid out smoothly, much to Temari's astonishment. "That's your job."
He added it to the top with a flourish and sneered at his sister, praying for her comeuppance for destroying his precious magazine. "Your turn."
Temari glared at him and then turned her gaze to the unsound bit of architecture in front of her.
I'm gonna drop it…she thought, flinching at the thought of losing to Kankuro. Damn, what do I do…?
Meanwhile, Kankuro was enjoying himself immensely, as his sister struggled and his brother looked on in interest. And wouldn't you know it? Kankuro's been the underdog for the whole fic, so why stop now?
The games were old, and as a result of this, they had acquired a thick layer of an allergy provoking phenomenon know as…
It happened just as Temari reached for a piece, her hand trembling.
Kankuro sneezed, so violently and suddenly that his head collided with the table, sending the wooden blocks toppling moments before Temari's fingers touched it.
"Aaahhh!" Kankuro yelled in pain as his head hit the table, only to be pelted mercilessly by the raining Jenga blocks.
Temari started laughing.
Gaara looked annoyed, and the TINIEST, SMALLEST bit amused.
And Kankuro cried.
Well, not really, he just swore a lot in pain.
"That was fun, wasn't it Kankuro?" Temari sneered, as her brother nursed his aching head. "Let's play another game."
Kankuro raised his head, giving her an icy look. "I won't lose to you, Temari."
Temari returned the look, narrowing her eyes. "We'll see about that."
Kankuro bared his teeth. "Yes, we will."
Temari clenched her fist. "Right now."
Gaara glared. "Shut up."
They both fell silent.
"What's this?" Kankuro said in disinterest, raising a box of brightly coloured cards.
"Let me see that," Temari said, taking it from him and reading the writing on the box.
"Yu-Gi-Oh…" she said slowly. "Kaiba's deck." She looked up in bewilderment.
"What the hell is that?"
"Who cares?" Kankuro said, tossing it behind him. "Some lame card game."
"How about we play Monopoly?" Temari proposed, raising the box.
"Sure," Kankuro said, indifferently.
"…" Gaara stared, then said. "I want the Iron."
"Top Hat," Temari called.
"Race Car," Kankuro dibbed.
Kankuro rolled a six. He moved his little Race Car around the board, stopping at a 'Chance' square.
So far, they were an hour into game. Gaara, for some reason, was the richest, Temari was second, and since Kankuro is the underdog in this fic, he was last.
"This is it," Kankuro mumbled under his breath as he lifted the card. "Please be something good."
He raised the card to his eyes and blanched.
"Go to Jail, do not collect $200.00."
Temari cracked up and Gaara gave him a contemptuous look.
"I hate this game!" Kankuro said, angrily dropping his Race Car on the Jail square. "Let's play something else."
"No," Gaara said, rolling the dice and moving his Iron to a "Community Chest" square. "We keep playing until I say stop."
He picked up a Community Chest card and read blankly, though there was a hint of smugness in the way he said the words.
"You won the lottery. Collect $100.00."
Kankuro muttered under his breath as Temari handed Gaara the paper money, because he can't help but be a sore loser. Looking at the board, he grimaced when he saw that Gaara had fifteen little houses spread around the board.
"Dammit," he mumbled as Temari handed him the dice, moving her Top Hat to the GO Square and collecting $200.00. He tried not to look too affected as he handed Temari $50 to get out of jail.
…but he died a little inside when he did.
"Come on," Kankuro muttered, shaking the dice in his fist as he looked down at the board with a glare. "Give me something good!"
He let the dice fly, and Temari and Gaara both leaned forward as the dice landed to give Kankuro a total of nine. Three pairs of eyes watched the little Race Car make its way down the squares, only to land on…
"Boardwalk," Gaara said, looking at the four houses he had purchased there.
"You owe me…$700.00."
"Noo!" Kankuro yelled, as Temari took $700 from his pile, leaving him with a measly $75.00. "I hate this game!"
Gaara leaned back, looking bored. "I don't want to play this game anymore."
Temari looked surprised, but said nothing because she didn't dare question Gaara. Except for when it came to porn, of course.
"Okay…" she said, sifting through the pile of games. "What about…Hungry Hungry Hippos?"
Gaara tilted his head to the side slightly, narrowing his eyes at the wacky, dancing, colourful hippos on the cover. Temari pulled out the plastic thing the hippos were set on, and put it down on the table.
"No," Gaara said, glaring malevolently at the hippos.
They looked too happy and indulgent, and what was that? The object of the game was to feed the obese animals? Oh, oh no, not if Gaara could help it.
Kankuro leaned forward and hit the black handle with his palm, only to have the cheap thing snap off in his hand.
"Bah!" He cried, throwing it over his shoulder in frustration. "I hate that game too."
Temari sighed, blowing some blonde strands out of her face as she looked through the pile again, pulling out a red box.
"How about Scrabble?"
Kankuro shrugged, and Gaara just stared, so Temari set it up.
Gaara, of course, had to go first because he was the quack in the family. Glancing at his letters, he picked up five of them and placed them on the board.
Kankuro and Temari exchanged uneasy glances.
"Um, my turn…" Temari said, going second because she was the oldest. She picked up four, connecting them to Gaara's A.
Kankuro snickered, just to piss her off. He looked down and picked up four as well, going last because he's the underdog.
He never finished putting down the rest because Temari turned a furious red colour, bonking him violently on the head.
"You pervert," she seethed, as Kankuro grimaced in pain. "Is that all you think about?"
Without saying anything, Kankuro placed down the last two letters.
Temari turned red again, but this time out of embarrassment.
"Oops is right," Kankuro grumbled, as he gestured to Gaara. "Your turn."
Gaara picked up three letters.
Temari and Kankuro shivered simultaneously.
Temari looked down at her letters, making a face as she picked up a measly N.
"That's sad," Kankuro said, ignoring Temari's dirty look. "Now this is a game that I'll win at. At least I read, Temari. I have an advanced vocabulary."
"Oh…" Temari said in a fake, innocent tone. "I didn't know PORN counted as reading material."
"Ha," Kankuro faked a laugh. "You wouldn't know that, would you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means what it sounds like."
"Shut up," Gaara said.
They both fell silent again.
Kankuro snorted and looked down at his pieces, narrowing his eyes when he saw the weird letters he had. Glancing back and forth between his pieces and the board, he finally put some pieces down.
"What the hell is that?" Temari cried. "That isn't even a word."
Kankuro glared defiantly. "Sure it is. Qork. The thing you put on a bottle. The special kind."
"You idiot, that's CORK. With a C," Temari snapped, looking at him in contempt. "And besides, any word with a Q is always followed by a U."
"No it isn't," Kankuro said, refusing to believe her.
Temari smirked. "Okay then, think of a word that isn't."
"Oh yeah? Let's see…uh, queen? No, um, quail? Shit, I mean…toque? Dammit!"
"Exactly. My turn."
Just as Temari was about to pick up her letters, Gaara gave her a look.
"I don't want to play this anymore."
Temari blinked. "Oh…but there aren't any more board games left."
Gaara looked down at the table, noticing a brightly coloured box. He picked it up, narrowing his eyes in bewilderment at the people on the box, who were twisted in rather awkward and weird positions.
"Twister?" Kankuro read off the box, unable to keep in his laughter. "That game is practically soft porn! It's just an excuse for guys to touch a girl's…" he trailed off as Temari gave him her infamous glare.
Gaara was getting a headache just looking at the box.
The teens were wearing such odd clothing, and they were on top of each other, all grinning…all happy…ugh…
"Burn it," Gaara said, throwing it so suddenly to Temari that she spontaneously obeyed and incinerated it like Kankuro's magazine.
"That was odd," Kankuro said, a bit frightened as Gaara's slightly insane look disappeared again.
"Well, that's all the board games," Temari said with a sigh, glancing at the clock. "And it's only 4:00 AM."
There was an uncomfortable silence in which they just stared at each other. Temari, of course, broke the silence because she's the compromising one.
"Well," she said hesitantly, wincing as if she was about to say something taboo.
"Why don't we…just play a hand game?"
"Huh?" Kankuro choked on his own saliva, turning to stare at Temari incredulously.
"Are you kidding me?"
"No," Temari said, even more hesitantly. "We don't have anything else to do…"
Gaara was curious, even though he didn't show it.
"How do you do that?"
Temari smiled affectionately at her baby brother, and glared at Kankuro.
"Well, the only one I can think of where all three of us can play is…Stella Ella Ola," she said, as Kankuro made a face of disgust and Gaara just sat there like a rock.
"We have to sit in a circle," Temari instructed, moving the table out of the way, noticing with a sigh that Gaara and Kankuro hadn't moved. Yanking Kankuro by the arm, she had no choice but to move closer to Gaara.
They sat in a closely knit circle, legs crossed, and at this point the author is fainting from fluff potential.
Kankuro was shivering in spite of himself. He never got this close to Gaara without having good reason to, and this definitely wasn't one of them. But then, amazingly, the underdog recalled Temari's words in the kitchen.
You know you love him.
"Meh…" Kankuro mumbled to himself as he glanced at his brother. "He's not that bad…but I'll never actually admit that I do, uh…you know…" He started laughing nervously to himself, and Temari glanced at him in slight concern.
"Kankuro," she said, to grab his attention.
He blinked. "Wha?"
"You're talking to yourself," she said slowly.
Temari sighed. If she could have it her way, she'd prefer that Gaara be the only quack in the family.
"Anyway," she said, nodding to her brothers. "The game goes like this. I sing the song, and as the song ends, we count to ten. Our hands will be on top of each others as we go around, like this."
Temari demonstrated by grabbing Kankuro's hand and putting it palm up, so she could rest hers on it.
"We go around, slapping each others hands until we count to ten. The person who says ten has to slap the hand of their neighbour, and not miss, because the neighbour will be trying to dodge. If you miss, you're out. If you don't, the neighbour's out."
Kankuro made a face.
Temari reacted by slapping him, then resumed explaining the rules.
"The last two people face off, and that determines the winner. Everyone get that?" She said, emphasizing everyone as she glanced at Kankuro.
"Yeah," he said flatly.
"Can I say something?" Kankuro said all too innocently.
Temari looked suspicious. "What?"
"Since when did you get so…familyish?"
Temari flushed. "I didn't just get familyish. I was always like this."
Kankuro frowned. "Then why didn't you ever do this before?"
Temari said nothing, mostly because she was too surprised.
"Why do you care?" She blurted.
Kankuro flushed this time. "I don't…"
"Then why did you ask?"
"Answer me, Kankuro."
"I said forget it!"
Gaara watched all this in silence, and despite being the inherent loner that he is, he couldn't help but feel left out.
"Shut up," he said. "Or I'll kill you both."
They fell silent.
"Let's just play," Temari suggested, and they agreed.
Now that they had their hands palm up and were actually in CONTACT with each other, Temari began the song, reaching over with her right hand to gently slap Gaara's hand, who in turn slapped Kankuro's hand, etc…
"Stella Ella Ola, clap clap clap
Say yes, chicko chicko, chicko chicko chak chak
Yes, chicko chicko
Fallo, fallo, fallo fallo fallo
She started counting.
So 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9…"
Kankuro, bless him, was so intent on looking bored with the game (even though he was enjoying it) that he didn't even realize that Temari said 10 and Gaara slapped his hand.
"Ha ha," Temari laughed. "You're out, Kankuro."
"Wha?" Kankuro blinked. "Wait, what happened?"
"Temari said 10," Gaara said blankly.
"Oh…" Kankuro said, forgetting to pretend that he was relieved to be out. "But I wasn't paying attention!"
"Aw," Temari cooed, much to Kankuro's chagrin. "You liked the game? We'll play it again right after Gaara and I play."
"Whatever," Kankuro said, moving out of the circle as Temari turned to face Gaara.
Temari was feeling quite contented at this moment, even though Gaara was going to win the game. She was pleased that they were spending this family time together, even though it was at an unholy hour and Gaara had threatened her and Kankuro about five times.
She wasn't even feeling that frightened as she fully faced Gaara and put her hands against his.
They were playing hand games, for God's sake. Even Shukaku couldn't breach such a happy, innocent thing as a hand game.
"This time," Temari said, a little nervously as Gaara stared at her with those eyes at such close proximity. "It's just you and me, Gaara."
"Yes," he nodded, and Temari gulped before she started the song again, with Kankuro watching anxiously from behind.
"Stella Ella Ola, clap clap clap
Say yes, chicko chicko, chicko chicko chak chak
Yes, chicko chicko
Fallo, fallo, fallo fallo fallo
She started counting, and noticed with an amazed smile that Gaara was counting as well.
So 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9…"
Using her mad Ninja skills and advantageous experience, Temari quickly slapped her hand down at 10. Kankuro looked astounded and horrified, Gaara blinked, and Temari felt the colour drain from her face.
Her hand made contact.
Temari made a strangled sort of noise in her throat as Gaara blinked in surprise, and Kankuro gasped from behind.
"You beat me," Gaara said, and Temari just nodded dumbly in response.
Gaara tilted his head slightly to the side.
"Let's play again."
Temari's jaw would have hit the floor, but it didn't because that's PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE.
"W-What?" She stammered.
"Let's play again," Gaara repeated, then he looked at Kankuro. "Come here."
Kankuro scrambled towards them, looking extremely relieved and a bit pleased at the same time. For the first time that night, Kankuro stopped being the underdog and actually joined in on the hand game, playing until they all couldn't feel their hands anymore.
By the time they finished, both Kankuro and Gaara knew the song by heart. And there was nothing weirder, Temari had to admit, than hearing Gaara and Kankuro sing a song that didn't make any sense.
Especially in Gaara's monotone.
Temari was so pleased with this turn of events that she dug out a secret stash of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. She had hidden it under a bag of 8-year-old ground beef, where not even Gaara would have thought of looking.
They sat on the sofa, contentedly eating the ice cream, her in the middle and Kankuro and Gaara on either side.
"This was fun," Temari mumbled through the ice cream, to no one in particular. "Wasn't it, Kankuro?"
He grunted in response.
"…don't think I forgot about the porn magazine."
He grunted again, but with less vigor.
The puppet master blinked in surprise.
"Heh heh…sounds like you're not angry anymore… but really, for what?"
"Tell me, Temari. We have a special brother sister bond thing going here, don't ruin it!"
Snort. "Are you for real?"
"Don't be like that!"
"See Gaara, this is the problem with girls. They're messed up."
"Hey, Gaara likes me better than you."
"Of course he doesn't. Brothers cope better with brothers."
"That's not true."
"Yeah, it is."
Huff. "Ask him what he thinks!"
"Hey Gaara, who do you like better?"
"Ha, see Kankuro? He loves us both, that's why he won't answer."
"Pfft. Yeah right…"
2 seconds later…
"…is that true Gaara?"