Disclaimer: This is in no way associated with anyone. This is merely a silly screwed up idea created to poke fun at the most used concepts of demon mating as commonly found in InuYasha fanfics. We are not specializing any story in particular, so if something sounds familiar, it is purely coincidental (except for my own, since I don't care if I make fun of my own stuff). Please don't take offense, it is meant to be amusing.

So, Neechan #2 here, for those who don't know, this is a collaboration name between myself (Sessysama) and my neechan (GhastlyMiroku), as such we are referred to as Neechan #1 and Neechan #2. This is just a little extra one shot as we prepare the next chp of our story, which we, of course, highly recommend everyone go read (shamelessly promoting). Inu is in the first chp, for those helplessly devote Inu fans. Hope you enjoy it!

Note: Video Script was written by Neechan #1

Today's After School Special

Demon Sex Education:

What You Need to Know When Courting or Being Courted by a Demon

Sesshoumaru dropped the small A/V worker in front of the faulty projector. He was already in a foul mood for getting forced to supervise over this damn after school lecture and he was doing his best to find someone to take it out on. The small toad he managed to find when looking for someone to fix the projector was just perfect for the job.

"Fix it already," Sesshoumaru commanded.

The toad fixed the back of his black shirt before swearing beneath his breath and examining the projector. Sesshoumaru was about to step on the pathetic demon when a light, cheerful voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Arigato, Jaken-san. I never can get that machine to work no matter how many times I use it."

Jaken looked back at the young human woman. "Yeah…whatever…didn't need to send dog boy out to play fetch to get me though…almost ruined my shirt…dry cleaning is fucking expensive…"

He continued his grumbling as he worked on fixing the machine before him. Sesshoumaru would have made sure his head was on the other side of the wall, and he very much thought the idea of the toad's little body squirming trying to free himself would be very amusing, but he was stopped from fulfilling his violent fantasy as two slender arms wrapped around his chest. He turned around and was brought face to face with his young mate, her brown eyes gentle and friendly, while her smile was so beautifully welcoming.

"Arigato, Sesshoumaru, I finished setting up here. Now we just wait for the students to arrive."

At the mention of the soon to arrive students Sesshoumaru rolled his golden eyes and brushed his mate aside. The woman just laughed at him.

"You know, Sesshoumaru, you can't complain about being here when you volunteered to supervise this." He scowled and returned to his desk at the back of the room. "Oh, they can't be that bad. They are your students."

"And you wonder why I don't want you alone with them while discussing nothing but sex." He leaned back in his red leather chair and closed his eyes. "Rin, sometimes you are truly naïve."

Suddenly, he felt her weight settle upon his thighs and her breath against his face. His golden gaze slowly opened to meet her seductive stare. "True, but you used to find that fact very amusing."

She leaned in and kissed him, her hands slipping over his broad shoulders to massage the back of his neck.

"Go Nii-san! Does this mean we get a demonstration along with the video?"

A loud growl formed in Sesshoumaru's throat as Rin left him allowing him complete view of the fourteen-year-old hanyou boy who had entered. Why was he cursed with such an idiot of a half-brother? For that matter why was he not just forced to take care of the bastard but also have him in his class?

Rin approached the front of the room as the students filed in, but stopped at where InuYasha was standing. "Oh, InuYasha, I fixed your nightlight today, so can you refrain from coming into our room tonight." She smiled sweetly at the now scarlet-faced hanyou before resuming her track to the blackboard.

"Oh, dissed by your own sister in law. That's gotta suck." The only other hanyou in the room said.

"Oh, shut the fuck up Naraku, no one was talking to you."

"I can say whatever I want dog breath. Don't get all high and mighty just cause your brother's the teacher."

"Yeah, like I care about that. I can kick your ass anytime without anyone's help."

Sesshoumaru had enough of this. His fingers snapped towards the bickering hanyous sending his demonic whip to crack the ground between them. "Shut up, both of you. InuYasha, Miroku, Bankotsu, Jakotsu, you know the rules. Weapons go in the closet."

The four boys grudgingly head for the back closet to store their weapons. Bankotsu stood in front of the small storage area and slowly petted his large sword. "Don't worry Banryuu, I will get you back after this is over. I won't let them take you away again."

InuYasha's eyebrow twitched slightly as he stared at the human comforting his sword. "You're a sick bastard, you know that." When Bankotsu refused to either acknowledge InuYasha or let go of his sword the silver haired hanyou threw Tessaiga against Bankotsu's giant weapon forcing both swords into the closet. The enraged human boy stormed up to InuYasha as the others stowed away their weapons.

"Haven't I told you not to touch Banryuu!"

"Well if it didn't take you twenty minutes just to put it away I wouldn't need to. Why the hell do you have such a big sword anyway, compensating for something?"

Bankotsu just smirked. "At least mine doesn't shrink."

They were about to go into another fight when Rin stepped between them, which immediately drew Sesshoumaru's attention to a daily battle he normally ignored. She smiled at both of them, instantly shutting up InuYasha who didn't want her to say anything else embarrassing. Bankotsu also quieted though since his eyes were locked on an area lower than her head, Sesshoumaru doubted it was the smile that shut him up. Rin's low cut neckline was not helping the matter.

Rin placed her fingers at the edge of Bankotsu's chin and lifted his face so that he looked her in the eyes. "When I talk to you, your eyes should never stray that far south. You wouldn't want to upset your teacher anymore than you already have, now would you?"

The boy's eyes, which had still been trying to return to the ample vision inside of Rin's blouse, now turned to Sesshoumaru, who upper lip was already raised showing off a perfectly deadly pair of fangs. Sesshoumaru wasn't the one to punish the human though, as InuYasha landed a solid punch on Bankotsu's right cheek.

"Bastard, don't try to check out my sister!" He turned to Miroku whose eyes were already wandering the curves of the young Sex Ed teacher. "That goes for you too houshi!"

Miroku lifted his hands in defense and smiled stupidly. "I wasn't looking at Rin-sensei, I was checking out Sango-chan."

The thirteen-year-old tayjia's face reddened, only to be followed by Miroku's as a bright hand imprint formed on his cheek.

Sesshoumaru rubbed the spot just above his nose as he listened to the insufferable whining of his students. Just because he was the only full demon on staff he had to be stuck with the hanyous, demons, mikos, houshis, tayjias, and psyocotic brats. Why couldn't they just sacrifice a few teachers and let him have a normal human class that would easily be terrified into submission?

"Everyone shut up and sit down," Sesshoumaru called out.

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sensei," a number of people responded, though most just tried to grab their seats.

InuYasha sat in the front, as close to Rin, and as far from Sesshoumaru, as he could get. In normal mischievous fashion Bankotsu and Jakotsu sat in the two adjacent seats as Naraku hurried to talk to Kikyou and Kouga who were already grumbling about the seats they were forced into.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" InuYasha growled.

Jakotsu leaned in close to InuYasha's canine ears and blew. "You know I just love being near you, my little puppy lover. You really are too shy when we are in public."

InuYasha tried to punch him but Jakotsu was too fast, not only dodging but he also slipped his arm around InuYasha's neck and nuzzled his silver hair.

"Come on, you know you enjoyed yourself last night. Just the two of us, alone at my house…"

"I have never been alone with you anywhere!" InuYasha screamed.

"Of course not, my InuYasha has only ever been with me."

One rattled InuYasha turned to where Bankotsu was supposed to be sitting to find Kikyou smiling back at him. "I have never been alone with you either!"

Kikyou took his arm and pulled him towards her. InuYasha began to freak out but Jakotsu let go. He finished freaking when he saw a smirking Kouga now sitting in his place, Kagome was glaring at InuYasha from the other side. Why did this always happen to him!

Behind them a series of yelping and smacking could be heard as Miroku had taken the seat behind Sango. Ayame sat behind Kagome, electric sparks showering her head. The rest of the class settled down in a decent fashion. From his place at the back of the room Sesshoumaru picked up his attendance roster and began calling off names.






"Right here, Fluffy-sensei!"

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes. "Jakotsu."

"Present, Sesshoumaru-sensei."

A cold chill ran at Sesshoumaru's spine at the tone the young boy had used. "Kagome."



No response.


Still no response.

"Kikyou," he growled.

"Damn it, bitch! He is calling you!" InuYasha cried as he continued to attempt to dislodge the fourteen-year-old from his arm.

She looked up oblivious to her surrounding. "He is? Here."

Sesshoumaru continued on. "Kouga."

"Yo, Sesshoumaru-sensei."


There was a pause, followed by the sound of flesh meeting flesh. "Oww!"




"I said stop that!"





Sesshoumaru sighed and put down the roster before standing and approaching the students. Along the way to the front he grabbed Souten and Miroku by the collars. He dropped Miroku in the chair beside Sango, so he could no longer just reach forward. With his now free hand he lifted Kikyou from her seat and dropped Souten into it. He switched Kikyou with Naraku before taking the disgruntled hanyou to sit where Kagome had been. Kagome was taken back to Souten's previous seat next to Shippo. Lastly he grabbed both Bankotsu and Jakotsu and placed them in the seats directly in front of his desk so they would be within striking distance.

With the seating arranged for minimum disturbance Sesshoumaru returned to the front of the class. He glared at all the students. How he hated junior high students. Why did he ever choose junior high? Little children he could scare, high school students didn't give a shit, but junior high made them arrogant, self righteous, and pure pains in the ass.

"You will not speak unless spoken to. If you wish to be spoken to you will raise your hand. You will do what Rin tells you to without question. If you question her it is the same as questioning me and you all know the punishment for questioning me." His eyes passed over each student. "You will not approach Rin unless she tell you to do so. For that matter you will not leave these seats for any reason other than a direct order by either Rin or myself. Is this understood?"

"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sensei," the class replied in unison.

"Keep a tight lease on your students, I see," Rin said as she worked to stifle her laughter. "Is that really necessary?"

Sesshoumaru just glared at her before heading back to his desk.

"Looks like we're not the only ones on a tight leash," Bankotsu smirked to Jakotsu as Sesshoumaru passed by.

Somehow Bankotsu's chair disappeared from beneath him, sending the boy slamming to the ground as the chair reappeared in Sesshoumaru's hand. Sesshoumaru had nothing to do with that of course, things like that just happen in his class. No one has yet to figure out how though. He returned Bankotsu's seat and leaned back in his leather chair as Rin began to speak.

"Well, you all got stuck staying after school, and that probably sucks in your opinion." There were a number of whispered agreements to that statement. "But you are here for a reason. Today's after school special is…" Rin pulled on the screen covering the blackboard so it retracted up. "Demon Sex Education."

The whispering and giggling ensued as expected. Sesshoumaru slammed his hand flat against the desktop and silenced the room.

Rin continued, "Now I know you all have already received Sex Ed; however, demon mating practices can be very different from human sexual activities. Therefore each class must not only go through Sex Ed, you get to suffer through Demon Sex Ed as well."

Kagome's hand shot into the air and Rin quickly acknowledged her. "Do demon mating practices apply to hanyous as well?" The girl's face tinged scarlet as she spoke.

Rin just smiled, being the Sex Ed teacher meant she was used to these kinds of question. She wasn't the only Sex Ed teacher in the district, but since she was the only one mated to a demon, she always got stuck doing the Demon Sex Ed classes.

"Demon practices often apply to hanyous, though often it depends on the hanyou in question, as well as how they are raised. Hanyous raised closer to their human side may forgo some of the demon ways, though not all. The video will explain many things. After the video, and yes, you may make fun of it, it is from the 60's, we will have a way for you to ask questions you may have without anyone knowing you ask it. No embarrassment so you can ask anything you like. Everyone ready to watch the video?"

Several students groaned but most just slumped back into their chair. They had to watch it no matter what. Rin signaled Jaken to begin the projector and the room immediately erupted in laughter as an old woman appeared on screen. She wore a bright red and green muumuu and on top of her head was a neon colored feathered hat that actually went off the screen because of its size. Sesshoumaru once again commanded and received silenced.

The woman in the film began. "Within the next hour we will take you on an informative journey, exploring the facets of demon physiology and sexual tendencies."

A life-size model of a nude male demon appeared behind the narrator. "Now, when examining this model we see how a male demon differs in comparison to a human male. Pay close attention to the male sexual organ." The narrator produced a ruler from the sleeve of her muumuu. "When erect, the length and width is greatly more than the average human male."

There were a number of nervous glances around the room, most coming from Miroku who was continually looking over at InuYasha, Naraku, Shippo, and Kouga. The young houshi shrunk down in his chair, while the two full demons had broad smirk on their faces.

"This fact also is true for most hanyous."

Two sighs of relief were heard from the front of the room. On the screen the model disappeared and was replaced by a nude female model. The ruler once again played its part in the narration. Sango did not see what exactly was happening on the film as she was desperately attempting to cover Miroku's eyes, which were on the verge of dislodging from their sockets.

"Now, as for the female, you can see the breasts are larger as to provide more milk for any child they may have. Demon infants require more sustenance than human infants, and thus the demon female's breast can swell greatly after childbirth. On average they become two to three times larger than an average human woman."

Kagome and Kikyou both hunched in their seats. Sango would have if she wasn't preoccupied. Ayame and Souten were quite pleased though, and Ayame even folded her arms in front of her stomach and brought them just beneath her chest, which was far more developed than any of the human girls'.

"Now that we have seen the physiology of the demon, let us examine the different mating and marking practices." The narrator and model disappeared to show a demon man with long black hair held in a tight braid sitting next to a demon woman of the feline persuasion. Shippo looked at the image very carefully, then up to Souten.

"Hey, isn't that…" Souten struggled to stop the kitsune but it was too late. "…your brother."

The class once again burst into chaos as they each decided on the best way to use the new information. Sesshoumaru quickly worked to regain control of his class. In the back the film continued playing.

"This is Hiten. He is a thunder demon, and next to him is Kouryuu. She is a cat demon. Now Hiten, after taking Kouryuu on a nice relaxing tour of his land and getting to know all about her ways and sexual preferences, decides to mate with Kouryuu. However, since Hiten is an elemental demon and Kouryuu is a bestial demon there are a number of issue that arise. The two go off to the hot springs to discuss these."

The scene changed again to show a less than attractive, and slightly balding, demon sitting next to a disgruntled looking female demon. Souten slid until her head was no longer visible over the back of the chair. "While Hiten and Kouryuu contemplate this troubling issue let's visit another couple. This is Manten. He is Hiten's younger brother, and to his right is Yue, a rather temperamental fire demon. Manten has already reached the conclusion that he will mate with his date. She has other plans though and attempts to high-tail it out of there. Manten is too quick in his actions and strikes Yue in the back with his lightning, thus making her his mate."

"With looks like that, it's a wonder she even went out with him," Bankotsu whispered to Jakotsu.

"Oh, shut up Bankotsu! That's my brother."

Bankotsu leaned close to Jakotsu. "Just saying…probably the only way he could get some is to trick someone like that."

The back legs of Bankotsu's chair suddenly broke sending him falling backwards. He hurried to get up and retrieve another chair. Those mysterious things often happened to Bankotsu when he sat in the back.

"Unfortunately, since Yue left her guard down, she is privy to the demands of her new mate. Manten, pleased at his accomplishment, has Yue first wash and clean his gorgeous locks. It is customary for the woman to do such trivial things. Manten is thoroughly enamored with his hair, hence, leaving an opening for negotiations on the dominance of the two. Yue is in a position of great power as she cuts his hair off with her long claws, leaving the demon to weep for his fallen tresses."

A large amount of snickering was heard throughout the room.

"By making her presence known and taking the dominant position of the two Manten lives the rest of his days obeying her every command."

Souten head falls against the desk and a soft, "Why me," can be heard by the demons in the room.

The scene changes once again as the story returns to the first couple. "Let's check back with Hiten and Kouryuu. It seems Hiten is now sporting a rather permanent tattoo on his neck. Back at the hot spring, while conversing about the prospects of mating, Hiten became engrossed in the Kouryuu's scent. Kouryuu was obviously interested in more than talking with the thunder demon."

Souten's head banged against the desktop repetitively.

"Kouryuu, overwhelmed with her lust, took Hiten into her arms, and in the throws of passionate love, marked him as her mate, biting deeply into his neck."

Everyone in the class, save Souten who was trying desperately to knock herself out, looked at the bite mark on Rin's neck, which was clearly showing as a result of her shirt's low neckline. Their heads then turn to the back of the room where Sesshoumaru sat. Finding no answer to their curiosity they turned to InuYasha. The young hanyou's golden gaze moved nervously from Rin to Sesshoumaru. Finally he spoke up.

"I can neither confirm nor deny any idea you may have regarding my brother and his mate."

Disappointed, the class returns to watching the film. "Though, the markings of such demons do not have to be on the neck, many choose to place their mark in this spot, due to availability and proximity during intercourse."

Hoping to lighten the mood, InuYasha turned back to Sesshoumaru. "Sessy, you were just so original."

Most of the class fell into fits of laughter, while some were a little too scared of Sesshoumaru to react.

"The roles are switched in Hiten's situation. He was originally marked by the female causing her to have the ultimate control. If he so desired, he could challenge her but for now, Hiten is downtrodden with the fact he has to stay with one demon for the rest of his life."

A now slightly bloodied Souten stared at the screen in a confused daze. "Why did it have to be this film?"

"You may ask, 'Why for the rest of his life?' For the majority of the different kinds of demons, mating is considered a ritual for life. There are exceptions though, among those are Slug demons, Toad demons and the Cannibalistic Horse demons of the Northern Mountains.

'When marking a mate, they are embarking on a new life full of love and affection. When the second of the two consensual partners marks the other as well, it is considered the highest of all bonds: the bond of friendship."

A few of the girls sighed and stared at the demons in the room, most of who were all making gagging motions over the edge of their desks.

"If, for any reason, a person is marked without consent, the marking can only be voided through the death of the other partner.

'Though, marking can occur through fault or impulse, it is important to reflect on your choices and take on your new life with a fresh view. Hiten as come to this conclusion. After marking Kouryuu back, therefore creating a semblance of a balance of power, they lived happily and have many little thundercats."

Souten's head twitched one last time before she passed out completely. Shippo hurried over to her and tried his best to rouse the distressed demon.

"So remember, when in the company of a demon of the opposite sex, it is important to be mindful of every action, as well as what type of demon they are. Hiten and Manten were elemental demons, therefore the mating/marking ritual is different and consists of the use of their element to scorch their mark into the others' skin. But since Kouryuu was a bestial demon she marked in the more animalistic way of piercing the skin of her partner."

Shippo finally managed to wake Souten and, with a nod from Sesshoumaru, Kagome switched places with her so Shippo could continue to watch over her. This earned a growl from Kikyou and Kouga since InuYasha and Kagome now sat next to each other.

"When confronted with the issue of hanyou mating, the ritual has only a few differences in the repercussions. Of course, if you are marked by a hanyou on their 'predetermined' time of the month, it is not considered a true mark.

'Hanyous also have a predisposition to submit to their desires less than a full demon and tend to repress their sexual urges. Due to the lack of activity it is highly likely a hanyou will one-day snap and mark the first creature it comes upon."

This statement caused a number of reactions from the class. All the girls scooted as far from Naraku as they could. All the boys moved away from both hanyous. Kagome and Kikyou tried their best to push their desks closer to InuYasha, and Jakotsu failed to change seats with an eager Kouga (who sat between both hanyous) only because of Sesshoumaru's insistence he remain within his reach.

"If the hanyou chooses to mate with a human female there is a possibility that she will, in turn, become a hanyou herself, due to the flow of hanyou saliva in her veins."

The narrator reappeared in all her flamboyant artistry and smiled at the audience. "Thank you for joining us on our journey of the Demon Bond of Love. We hope this has helped you to better understand the ways of demon mating."

Jaken turned off the projector and all attention returned to Rin. "Now as I said we will have discussion and you will be able to write any questions you have down and I will answer them without revealing who wrote what questions. However, are there any questions that you don't mind asking aloud?"

Hands shot into the air all over the room and Rin couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, let's start with…"


Part one of two! Yes, it was supposed to be a one shot but it got long, so it is a two parter. Part Two will be up shortly. Much in store for this class. Tell us what you think! We love reviews!

::Bankotsu enters and looks at Neechan #2:: "Did I really act like that when I was 14?"



"Yep, I was there, I know."

"Wow." ::Jakotsu enters:: "Hey, Jakotsu, did you realize I acted like that when I was 14?"

"Bankotsu, you act like that now."

"Oh, yeah."