The Matchmaker

Joy Cutting

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!

Rating: PG-13 for mild language and content. Note, rating may change at any given time.

Summary: You thought one Snape was bad!? What happens when the Potion Master's twin shows up with one thing on his mind? Severus and Hermione never stood a chance. SS/HG

Author's Note: I know it's not much, but this first chapter was mainly to introduce Sebastian and his relationship with Snape. I also appologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes. Spell-check only picks out so much; and I have yet to procure a beta. Anyways, hopefully the following chapters will be longer and more in depth. I would really appreciate any input, suggestions, advice, etc. that you can throw my way. Please note, flames will be quickly doused with water and payed no heed.

"Kill me... Kill me now!" Severus Snape muttered to himself in exasperation as he paced before the cluttered desk of Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Albus, for his part, merely watched the grown man with amusement as he dug around his top drawer for his last box of lemon drops. The old man's attitude only served to fuel the Potions Master's temper, causing him to whip out his wand and blast the nearest vase. Albus chuckled softly and repaired the crystal jar with a flick of his wand, then popped one of the sour treats into his mouth.

Finally, Severus came to an abrupt stop and dropped gracefully into one of the overstuffed chairs directly across from the Headmaster. Dumbledore studied the other man's pallid expression for a few silent moments, until Snape's face broke out into an unmistakable pout.

"Now Severus, it isn't really that bad, after all." The wizened wizard murmured with a hint of reproachfulness in his voice; though his twinkling eyes divulged his true impression on the situation at hand. Severus' glowered and sunk lower in his seat, resting his head in his hands and rubbing his temples in soothing circles. "He is your brother. More than that, he is your twin." Albus continued, peering intently at his younger colleague. "Surely that calls for some acceptance on your part."

Snape snorted derisively and rolled his eyes toward the gilded ceiling. Trust Albus to see something pleasant in what could only be an impending disaster.

"Hardly." He muttered, glaring at Dumbledore, who was once again picking through his box of lemon drops. "Sebastian and I haven't spoken for two decades. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, as you well know." Snape went on, violently picking at the armchair's fraying fabric. Albus clucked his tongue disapprovingly and repaired the tortured furniture with a weary wave of his hand.

"Yes, I am well aware of the circumstances surrounding your last encounter."

"Then how could you, in your right mind, HIRE MY BLOODY BROTHER TO BE THE NEW DEFENSE TEACHER!? OVER ME, NO LESS!" Severus exploded, jumping from his chair and knocking it over in the process.

"Because," A new voice drawled from the open doorway, "he obviously wanted someone competent teaching the subject."

Eyes boggled, Severus whipped around on his heels and stared at the man leaning against the doorjamb. If not for the short, shaggy hairstyle, straight nose, and white teeth, the man could have been the exact duplicate of the Potions Master.

"Hello brother. Did you miss me?" Sebastian Snape strolled into the room with an amused expression to rival that of the Headmaster's; hands in the pockets of his blatantly muggle pantsuit. Shock quickly wearing off, Severus turned his patented glare on his twin; silently appraising him with contempt.

"No." The retort was sharp, and bitten out through clenched teeth.

"Is he always like this?" Sebastian turned to Albus and asked with an amused smirk. Dumbledore chuckled, nearly choking on his new lemon drop in the process.

"Only on his good days." Came the cheery reply. Sebastian grinned at this and turned back to his older twin, only to find an empty space and open doorway. The back of Severus' robes could be spotted swishing down the stairs and out of sight. The younger of the Snape twins shrugged and fell heavily into the same plush armchair his brother had occupied only moments ago.

"So much for a warm welcome."

"Bloody menacing, old codger!" Severus grumbled to himself as he stalked into his office and went directly for the liquor on his fireplace mantle. He continued to mutter a long list of obscenities under his breath as he poured a glass of Firewhisky. With a sadistic grin, Snape raised his glass in the air and muttered a mocking salute. "Here's to you, brother." Throwing back his head, he drained the glass in one go and slammed the empty container down on the mantle. The alcohol had an almost instant numbing effect, and Severus soon found himself sprawled out on the brown, leather sofa before the unlit fireplace.

"You really are rather pathetic, aren't you?" A low voice sounded in his ear, startling Severus from the alcohol induced slumber. Groggy, he pushed himself up on the sofa and glanced over at the Grandfather clock. He noted, with surprise, that it was nearly time for the students to arrive and the inevitable Welcoming Feast he was required to attend. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Severus stumbled to his feet and stretched languidly. An amused snort from behind him reminded the Head of Slytherin that he wasn't alone in his office. Whirling around, he stared blankly at his twin brother.

"Leave my office. Now." He demanded, folding his arms over his chest in a manner that usually intimidated and petrified most of his students; but didn't seem to have any effect on his brother.



"No." Sebastian repeated, folding his own arms over his chest and cocking a challenging eyebrow.


"We could go on like this for hours, but I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Striding purposefully forward, the younger of the Snape twins stopped inches away from his brother; chin held high in defiance.

"What do you think we are doing?" Severus replied in a mocking tone, lifting his own chin in defiance. This action caused him to automatically think that if he'd cleaned up a bit, this scene would seem as if he were looking in a mirror.

"Give me a break, Severus." Sebastian gnarled, taking a step back. "You know what I mean."

"Oh yes, I know what you mean." He drawled sarcastically, turning and striding towards the door. "But it doesn't suggest that I have to indulge you." Wrenching open the handle, Severus looked over his shoulder with an unreadable expression. "So if you refuse to leave, I will." With a curt nod, he swept out of the room and into the dungeon corridors behind; slamming the door in his wake.

"And now I'm reminded why I never bothered to contact him this past twenty years." Sebastian murmured to himself, heaving a great sigh as he turned and grabbed the bottle of brandy on the mantle. He took a couple of rich swigs, set the bottle down and then strode out of the office in his brother's wake.

The steady murmur of voices assaulted his ears as Severus quickly ascended the steps out of the dungeons. The nosie became greater the higher he went, and by the time he stepped into the crowded Entrance Hall, the din was nearly deafening.

'And so begins another torturous year at Hogwarts.' He thought to himself as his eyes roamed over the sea of heads and spotted an untidy mop of black hair. Needing a diversion to take his mind off the events of the day, Severus pushed through the crowd until he was just behind Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, and Hermione Granger.

"Do you reckon Snape'll be around?" Weasley was saying with a hopeful voice, peering anxiously towards the Great Hall. "You know. Maybe the great bat finally retired. You-Know-Who being gone and all."

"Ronald Weasley!" Granger's voice was shrill and caused Snape to wince visibly. He remained quiet behind the trio, wanting to hear what the newly appointed Head Girl had to say in his defense. "Professor Snape may be a bit cantankerous, but he's a highly respected and well sought after Potions Master! You should be honored to have him as a Professor. Not to mention everything he did for the Order!" She berated the lanky redhead. Severus wasn't sure how he managed it, but Weasley seemed to look both repulsed and ashamed.

"She's right, you know." Potter finally spoke up, shrugging his shoulders at the surprised look shot at him by the youngest Weasley male. Severus smirked as the Gryffindor Prefect gaped like a fish, before frowning and rounding on his two best friends.

"All right! I can understand Hermione defending the nasty git; but you?! Harry, the man has tormented you since first year, and you're defending him!"

"Mr. Weasley makes a good point." He couldn't resist temptation anymore and finally gave away his position. The Dream Team pivoted and stared up at him with horror, which caused Severus to smirk in a most unpleasant way. Unpleasant for them, anyways. All three were gaping openly as Severus stepped aside and marched past them. "Oh, by the way..." He trailed off, shooting them a nasty sneer. "Five points from Gryffindor for insulting a teacher." With a satisfied smirk, he resumed his trek to the Staff table.

"Don't mind him; he's a bit cranky today." Sebastian purred from behind the three Gryffindors, who turned once again, shock written all over their faces. "He forgot to take his hot flash medication this morning." He grinned widely, watching as the redhead looked rapidly between himself and Severus, before turning wide eyes on his two friends.

"Get me to Madam Pomfrey. I'm seeing double." Sebastian was about to reassure the 7th years, but then another voice cut in as a sharp finger jabbed into his shoulder.

"Severus! Just the person I was looking for." Minerva McGonagall spoke, peering over her glasses at Sebastian with a curious gaze. "My, you've changed! I must say, it is quite an improvement over your usual getup." The younger Snape couldn't help but laugh outright, which further shocked the four people surrounding him.

"I'm afraid you have me confused with my brother." He stated, pointing into the Great Hall, where Severus was shifting between sulking and glaring at random students.

"Sebastian?!" Minerva gasped, raising her hand to her heart. "What a surprise! You must be the new Defense teacher! And here I thought Albus had finally lost his mind and given your brother the job."

"Wait a minute!" The bushy-haired young woman interrupted, throwing her hands in the air to forestall any further comments. "You're Professor Snape's brother?" The other two teens furrowed their eyebrows, waiting anxiously for the older man's reply.

"Twin brother, actually." Sebastian said, clasping his hands behind his back and rolling back and forth on his heels.

"Great Merlin's underpants!" The redhead breathed out, backing away in fright despite the reproachful looks from the bushy-haired girl. "Save me!"

"Mr. Weasley! I suggest you behave more appropriately in front of your Professors." McGonagall frowned at her student. "I best not have to warn you again! Now, if you'll excuse me, the first years have just arrived." Without another word, she set off down the stairs, where an excited chatter could be heard. Sebastian waved merrily at her, before turning back to Weasley and his friends. A flicker toward the middle teen's forehead told him all he needed to know. He was currently in the company of the one and only Harry Potter.

"I'm not all that bad, I assure you." Grinning, he walked past the group and into the Great Hall. There would be plenty more chances to chat with The Boy Who Lived, but at that moment, he feared for his life.

Death by an underage wizard stampede was not an appealing thought.

Next chapter: First DADA class, an Advanced Potions Lesson goes wrong, and Sebastian starts plotting.

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