The Little Loose Screws in Life (Sequel to 2ply JAG)

By: Comm. Butler

Disclaimer: Don't own JAG. Never have never will, they belong to CBS, DPB and Paramount. However I do own the plot line so please don't try to steal it. Not that any of you will. I don't care if you share this just please let me know and keep my name on it.

Author's Note: I think that was the most serious disclaimer I have written. I figured that I should get that rule straight because I received some e-mails about 2ply JAG asking whether they could borrow my story, and I figure if I write a sequel I had better tell everyone. This story picks up where 2ply JAG left off so even though you might be able to figure out what happened in the first story you may not find it as funny because there may be some inside jokes, so my advise to you is to read 2ply JAG first. Whew! Now with that all said on with the story! PS- Mattie is in this one and Webb still is out. Mac is not ill and the Admiral hasn't left…




In basement file room

They worked for what seemed like hours and then Mac said,

"This will be a story to tell our children someday and to think it all started with a little role of toilet paper."

"More like a trunk full of the stuff. Who said we were having kids?" Harm said and Mac looked sad suddenly and then Harm took her head in his hand and lifted her face to meet his.

"I was just kidding."

"That was mean Harm."

"So, forgive me?"

"As always, now let's get back to work."

"Hey Mac do you think we could get away with loosening the screws on the Admiral's chair so the next time he sits down he falls on the floor?"

"HARM! Don't you even think like that! Now get back to work!" Mac cried exasperated. They worked in silence until Mac thought our loud,

"You know it might not be such a bad idea."

"No way Mac. Stop thinking dangerously."

"I'm not, I'm thinking revenge." Mac looked up at Harm again with a sly smile and Harm wondered aloud,

"What if we…" Mac closed the file and looked at him expectantly.

"If we what? "

"I'm thinking serious Admiral bashing, not only is his six going to be sore, so is his carrier size ego."

"Suddenly I have a feeling I'm not going to like this."

"Well if you don't want to…"

"NO! He humiliated us and even though we had it coming he didn't have to do it front of the whole office he is so going down!" Mac exclaimed letting her frustration out.

"SHH! See that vent, Mac, it goes straight into the Admiral's office." Harm pulled her back down. Mac quieted down.

"How do you know?"

"I just heard him talking to Coates about baseball or something not office related."

"Oh so now we're going to blackmail him?"

"No, but good idea." Harm said thoughtfully, then he continued.

"Look he should be leaving in about a half hour and then we can get into his office and sabotage his chair. Then we can go from there."

"Alright, now let's get to work, the Admiral will probably be down here before he leaves and he will want progress."

"In half hour Mac?"

"Well you never know."

30 minutes later

"How are things going down here you two?" Harm and Mac turned to see the Admiral with his cover and briefcase.

"Just fine sir we already have a stack ready for the archives." Mac said setting down a large pile of files and fanning away the plume of dust.

"I'm glad to see you are working. Now don't stay too late, I don't want you falling asleep and get some dinner. Goodnight." AJ turned on his heel and left Harm and Mac, who after making sure he was gone motioned to Harm. They climbed the stairs quietly and headed for the bullpen. The coast was clear until they reached the Admiral's office.

"Colonel, Commander what are you still doing here?"

"Umm, we just needed to get something, for the Admiral."

"He just left ma'am."

"Yes we know, but we really need this file. Could you let us in?"

"Okay he said not to but what can it hurt." Jen grabbed the key and unlocked the door, before Harm and Mac stepped inside they asked,

"There isn't a video camera in here is there?"

"Of course not. The Admiral didn't want one in there I don't know why. Umm you guys weren't planning on umm trying out his desk were you?"

"COATES!" They stared at her in amazement as she snapped to attention.

"That was TOTALLY out of line! Sorry I…I… crap!" Jen fumbled and Mac smiled.

"No we weren't, so you don't have to vacate the area. Why does everyone think that the only thing we want to do is… never mind. Thank you Coates." Harm and Mac stepped inside and closed the door behind them.

"Okay let's get moving, now let's see." Harm stated kneeling down. Mac watched him fiddle with the chair for a minute, but she was more focused on his ass. What did it matter it's not like he noticed anyway.

"Mac come here and help me and quit staring at my six!" Harm said. Mac came over and knelt down next to him.

"Now Mac put your hand there and see that knob?"

"This one?" Mac pointed to it and Harm nodded.

"My hand is too big you'll have to reach up in there and turn it counter-clockwise it until it is nice and loose…That's it, wonderful."

"What is that going to do?" Mac asked.

"It will cause the back of the chair when he leans on it to fall back and I fixed the front so that basically it will cause him to slide onto the floor flat on his back."

"It won't hurt him will it?"

"No Mac it won't do any permanent damage. I fell out of this chair and I am just fine."

"Sometimes I wonder." Mac joked ruffling his hair and standing up. Harm followed and they left the office just the way they had found it. Coates stopped them on the way back to the basement,

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"No we didn't, it must be on my coffee table at home. Thanks Coates, I will see you at dinner then?" Mac smiled at Coates who looked a little confused.

"You do you eat with the Commander and Mattie don't you?"

"Mac, Mattie doesn't come back until the day after tomorrow remember?" Harm chided.

"Oh right. Well then see you tomorrow." Mac replied and then together she and Harm walked back down to the basement.

"Okay Harm let's keep working for another hour or so and then call it a day." Mac said and went back to sorting and piling. She wanted to go to her apartment or even better Harm's and sleep in his arms, which would be wonderful. It had been a very long day for the both of them and Mac was ready to crash as was Harm, but they continued working furiously not quite knowing how much time was passing.


2300 Romeo

"Hey Mac. Wake up honey we have to get going." Harm said softly shaking Mac whom stirred and looked up.

"Huh? What time is it?" She looked up at him sleepily. She must have dozed off right there. Harm looked at his watch,

"Just after 2300 come on let's get you home, your exhausted and I'm getting tired as well." Mac stood and stretched, her neck was sore but that she assumed was from laying it on the table. Harm put an arm around her and together once again they trudged up the stairs and then when Harm turned so that they were on their way out Mac asked.

"Harm, don't we need to get our stuff?"

"It will be here tomorrow, and I will not have you working on cases anymore tonight."

"Okay whatever you say." Mac shrugged and leaned her head against his shoulder. They walked out to Harm's car and then he opened the passenger door and let Mac climb in, before he closed the door and then going around and to his side and started the engine.

Mac slept soundly next to him on the way to his apartment. He could take Mac home but he didn't want to be alone, so when they arrived in front of his apartment and she didn't budge, he carried her inside and then up the lift to his apartment. He was surprised to find it unlocked. Well maybe he had forgotten to lock it this morning. He adjusted Mac so he could open the door and was surprised to find not only Jen but Mattie standing there as well.

"HARM! Where on Earth were…" Mattie stopped when she noticed Mac in his arms and her look turned from one of frustration to confusion. She waited until Harm had laid Mac on his bed before she opened up on him quietly though so she didn't disturb Mac.

"Harm you were supposed to pick me up at the airport at six! Jen had to come and do it!"

"Mattie you and Holly weren't supposed to be back until the 16th. Why did you come back early?"

"We didn't! If you look at your calendar it said to pick me up today!"

"Look Mattie I'm sorry, I seriously remembered it that way. Look how can I make it up to you?" Mattie looked thoughtful.

"Maybe telling me why Mac is passed out in your bed and a twenty would be okay too." Mattie shrugged and Harm pulled out his wallet and handed Mattie a twenty and then sighed.

"Mattie Mac is not passed out, she's just very tired and is sleeping. She sleeps like the dead mind you. Anyway there is a lot we need to tell you and Mac will need to be awake for it so we can tell you together…"

"You didn't knock her…"

"No Mattie! It's not something like that, because if it was I probably wouldn't tell you right away, you know." Harm was amazed at what would go through a teenager's mind. He could see her thinking that he and Mac had probably slept together but get her pregnant? Now that was a stretch. Harm shook his head.

"Look Mattie it's after midnight why don't you go to bed and we can finish this tomorrow. Goodnight Mattie and don't you worry your little red head about it." Harm teased and pulled her into a hug, which she resisted at first but then, gave in.

"Okay! Okay you can let me go!" Mattie squeaked. Harm let go of her and she went off to her apartment. Harm turned to Jen,

"You didn't tell her anything that has happened since she left for Hilton Head?"

"She begged me to sir but I was firm and I told her that you would tell her when you got home. Sir did you and the Colonel stay late then? Or did you go somewhere, because we tried your cell and no one answered." Jen asked.

"I left my phone in the office at JAG so it probably rang I just couldn't hear it. By the way thanks Jen, for getting her, I never would have known." Jen smiled,

"Hey anytime sir just as long as I'm with Mattie then I don't have to move back in with the shrews, who hog the phone and the shower. She is also like the little sister I never had so I am glad to do it." Jen then bid him goodnight and left without another word. Harm headed to his bedroom where Mac was still sleeping peacefully.

"Hey Marine we need to get you out of this uniform." Harm shook her softly and she groaned.

"I don't wanna."

"You need to or it will wrinkle and we will be ironing it." He argued and she rolled over onto her back and mumbled,

"Fine, fine just get it done." Harm undid the buttons on her uniform jacket and carefully pulled her out of it. Then he did the same with her blouse and skirt being very careful not to wake her, because if she did he was sure to get a fist in the face. The hardest part he found was taking off the hose, but he did it without becoming too weirded out. He had hoped she would at least be awake the first time he took her out of her uniform, but oh well.

He pulled back the sheets on his side and set her under them. She snuggled right into the pillow and mattress and was unmoving after that. Harm got ready for bed and then joined her. She somehow knew he had come to bed because she nestled right into him and Harm fell asleep holding her in his arms.

Remember no reviews no more story!