He'd done it. He'd finally done it.
Faye stared at Spike with wide eyes and blushing cheeks, totally taken aback. "Y- you-"
"Me." he actually had the arrogance to agree, leaning back on the wall and smirking at her.
"You LUNKHEAD!" she roared, and a suddenly fearful Jet fancied he could see devil horns poking out of her hair.
"I'll fucking kill you!" Faye screeched, dashing forward at him.
Spike easily dodged a wild punch. "Not like that, you won't."
She only snarled like a wild animal and launched herself at Spike again, using her flailing fists as cover to try a sweep; he jumped over it and performed a sweep of his own, and Faye found herself on the floor.
"Lunkhead." she muttered. "Lunkhead, lunkhead, lunkhead, lunkhead-"
Edward's customary singsong joined her. "Lunkhead, lunkhead, lunkhead, lunkhead-"
Spike walked over to her and peered down; he'd just opened his mouth (the quirk in the corner of it already telling Faye what he was going to say) when Faye's hand shot out, quick as a snake, and grabbed his ankle. Thrown off balance, Spike teetered, arms windmilling frantically; Faye lunged up and grabbed his shoulders, throwing him to the floor with her on top of him.
"LUNKHEAD!" she bellowed.
"LUNKHEAD!" Edward imitated even louder.
"Idiots." Jet muttered fervently, shaking his head.
"Hoochie." Spike retorted calmly to Faye's breasts.
"QUIT CALLING ME THAT!" Evidently the shock at hearing such an old term- one that she hadn't heard since her accident- had worn off. "YOU'RE HARDLY ONE TO TALK, YOU-"
"Lunkhead!" Edward happily supplied.
"-BASTARD!" Faye corrected. "Scum of humanity! Dregs of the sewer! Utterly reprehensible, arrogant, conceited, self- absorbed, childish, toenail clippings of a man! Idiot! Camel!"
"Lunkhead!" Edward cried, dancing around with Ein.
Spike gave her a crooked grin, and Faye crossed her legs, sitting on his chest. She folded her arms under her breasts, the action thrusting them up and out; she knew he noticed, recognized the edge in that smile, and glared down her nose at him.
"You," she informed Spike calmly, "are utterly beneath me."
"I," he said in an equally adult tone, "cannot breathe."
"Which is your own fault."
"I'd say more of the blame rests on your fat ass than me."
"Then you'd be wrong. As usual."
He snorted. "And we know you're always right, don't we, Faye? About Decker, about 'rescuing' me from Pierrot le Fou, about that bounty actually being the transvestite prostitute that you just happened to know-"
"I told you, I didn't know him!" she retorted. "I'd heard of him, that's all."
"And how would you have heard about him, Faye, being such a lady?"
"You'd be surprised at what men tell me, Spike." she purred, unfolding herself; she made sure to jam her feet into his middle before stepping off him with almost painful dignity.
Spike brushed himself off, hooked his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes. "Gimme a pillow, Faye."
"Give him a pillow, Ed." Faye ordered, her dark tone telling the hacker exactly how to give it to him.
He'd expected a pillow to come flying at his face; what he hadn't expected was for Edward to still be holding it at the time. Spike threw his hands up, catching the pillow; Edward hovered in a brief handstand before bending her elbows and tossing herself off of it, making an excellent landing and bowing before running into the kitchen.
"Nothing good comes from Earth." Spike murmured, sliding into sleep.