Dedicated to Crimson fate for what she/he said about Sasuke:
"I thought it was such a shame that you put down Sasuke as gay though...I mean really, if his abition in life is to kill Itachi and then to revive his clan...well, I think he is the last of his clan then."
Thanks so much for the laugh.
Operation Help The Hopeless Find Some Hope: Stage One & Two
"Order, Order!" the notorious redhead tapped his purple plastic pointer stick on a nearby table importantly. "We are gathered here today to solve a potential crises."
"Gaara, shut up and get to the point," came the chorus of replies from the six other males in the room.
He frowned. "Geez. No one gets any respect around here anymore do they?"
"Well," he continued, completely ignorant to his death wishers, "We are here today to solve a potential crisis. It seems that we have over estimated Neji's ability to make Tenten fall in love with him. It's been two weeks. He has exactly 7 days left. Do you guys see the problem? That is 168 hours, people. Neji is hopeless. He is not capable of this mission we have set for him, so it is our responsibility to assist him."
Sasuke spoke up, "So what do you suggest we do?"
Gaara grinned with an evil twinkle in his eyes. Rubbing his hands together anxiously, he answered, "I'm so glad you asked, Mr. Uchiha." Turning around, he pulled out a scroll and undid it. On it seemed to be a series of weird shapes and patterns.
"And what exactly is that?" asked someone in the crowd.
Gaara looked up from admiring his – picture thingy – and looked highly offended. "This is my amazing battle plan that I have slaved over for the past 3 days!"
The only answer he got was five blank stares.
"Ok, so I'm not Mr. Magic Marker. But this isn't the main point. The main point is that we're going to help the idiotic Hyuuga capture the woman of his dreams. So lets move on to Operation Help The Hopeless Find Some Hope: Stage One."
"I Am Hokage, this is Akamaru the Second, come in, I Am Hokage." A shadow sneaked across the open plain before hiding behind a tall bush.
"This is I Am Hokage – I read."
"The Eagle has been spotted. Twenty spaces north, currently moving at a steady rate of .6 mph. Do you read?"
"Is the Sparrow with her? Over and out."
'Akamaru the Second' peered across the plain. Good thing he had super enhanced eyesight. "Yes, the Sparrow is with her. Currently latched to the Eagle's side."
'I am Hokage' made a weird sound that could only be described as an evil chuckle. "Don't you dare move. We'll be there before you can say 'Old Lady Tsunade'."
Old Lady Tsunade?
Three minutes of continuous foot tapping later, a very disgruntled Akamaru the Second stood with still no I Am Hokage in sight. The Eagle and Sparrow were gaining ground every second wasted waiting. He was about to abort all rules of registration when a sudden 'pop' was heard to his right.
A very annoyed looking 'Troublesome', a grinning 'Shuukaku', and an ecstatic 'Fountain of Youth' appeared.
Akamaru the Second frowned. "Where's the idiot?"
Funny how no one needed to clarify whom the idiot was.
Shuukaku rubbed the back of his head tiredly. "Ichiraku was hosting a 'Who can eat the most Ramen' contest. Of course he had to dismiss all thoughts of our very important mission to be a part of it."
Troublesome shook his head and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'troublesome' under his breath.
"Well, we best be off," said Akamaru importantly, "They're gaining ground every minute wasted."
"YOSH!" came Fountain's reply before speeding off at a speed way over the speed limit, leaving his three comrades behind.
Shuukaku growled in exasperation. "That stupid idiot. He's going to ruin my beautiful plans!"
Troublesome couldn't seem to find anything wrong with the situation. Obviously Lee wanted to take care of the mission by himself – so why waste his time and energy by trying to help out? Lee wouldn't fail. It was inconceivable for him to fail.
Akamaru was angry. He wanted to do something important. He had waited three whole minutes just to do something important. But no. That stupid bowl-haired idiot had to come and ruin his glory. Now what was he going to brag – er, tell – to Hinata about on their date tonight?
"Alright you guys," said Shuukaku. "Change of plans. Fountain will continue the mission while us three take a leisurely stroll in the park. Once we come upon the Eagle and Sparrow, we'll act all astonished to see them, alright?"
Troublesome raised his hand. "Question. Why do we have to do this when Fountain is already taking care of everything?"
"Because, you idiot, we don't want to miss out on the action!" and with that, arm in arm, the three men jovially set out on their leisurely stroll towards their destination.
'Jigglypuff' glared at his reflection. Just when he was beginning to feel something other than revenge in his heart, he was discluded. Yes, discluded. How could you exclude someone as wonderful and powerful and great as him in such an important time as this?
He glared harder at his reflection. It was because that stupid Naruto was stronger then him.
But in an era such as theirs, appearances were much more important than strength. And obviously, hands down, he was so much better looking then the baka Naruto. Yes, he was a lot better looking.
So what if he had a fetish with Pokemon?
There was no more need for alias names.
Gaara sighed disappointedly. What he was expecting to be a wonderful turn-of-the-century battle turned out to be a horrible ok-I'm-too-afraid-to-fight-someone-wearing-a-green-jumpsuit-and-with-hair-like-your's-so-I'm-going-to-surrender-now fight. The stupid idiot even had the nerve to ask Lee where he got such a 'dashing' haircut like that.
There was seriously something wrong with the guy Tenten was dating. And he was going to find out just exactly what. But his plan wasn't ruined. It worked out fine. They had shown Tenten what a useless creature this man was. That was the point.
Tenten was busy glaring at all four of them suspiciously, her hand intertwined with Hiro's. "What is this all about?" she asked in a very matter-of-fact way that clearly said, 'Don't you dare tell me there isn't anything about this'.
"There isn't anything about this," said Lee, cluelessly.
Gaara slapped his forehead, and decided to butt in and use his manly charm.
"Tenten, dearest," he said smoothly, sliding in-between her and her date, forcing them to loose contact. "Lee here just wanted to see if your man here," he pointed at Hiro, who was fuming, "was a strong and brave enough warrior to deserve you."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "He's not a warrior, Gaara. He's a fashion designer."
Since she brought it up, we might as well move onto stage two.
"A fashion designer?" Gaara laughed maniacally. "You've got to be kidding me. This is a joke, right? Comon Tenten. You're a jounin. Why would someone as high ranked and talented as you date some low fashion designer who cant hold a kunai correctly and obviously doesn't have a very good sense of fashion?" he eyed the man's bright orange shirt with distaste. "Since you're a fashion designer, shouldn't you know that orange is so not the new pink?"
"Gaara," Tenten said through clenched teeth. "Thank you for the fashion advice, now would you please remove yourself from my sight before I permanently embed a kunai into a place that would make reproduction for you impossible."
If she were talking to anyone else, they would've backed down. Even Kiba and Shikamaru back away a few feet from her excruciatingly painful death glare. Lee was over by himself fawning over a squirrel, in case you were interested.
"Whoa! Calm down there Tenten. Why doesn't your date stand up for himself? Who let's their girlfriend fight for them?" Gaara turned to Hiro, "What kind of man are you?"
Hiro outright stomped his foot like a four year old and said with a pout, "I'll have you know that violence and fighting doesn't become me. The sight of blood makes me queasy."
Gaara threw back his head and laughed with all his might.
Tenten looked ready to permanently impale someone.
Hiro was slightly embarrassed and started to shuffle his feet.
Shikamaru was staring at the clouds with the ever-present crooked frown on his face.
Kiba was daydreaming about Akamaru and Hinata.
Lee was still fawning over a squirrel.
It just had to be a clueless (mark this one in your calendars) Sasuke that walking into the middle of the war.
"Hn," was uttered before all hell broke loose.
First to respond was Tenten. She reached into her holster and pulled out three kunai and a shuriken, throwing the shuriken at Sasuke and the kunais at Gaara. Of course, this led to Gaara ducking, which led to Hiro being impaled in his left arm with three kunai.
Yes, he screamed. Not just any scream. He screamed the scream that girl's scream when they find out that their boyfriend was cheating on them with their best friend. Of course, it was their use-to-be best friend.
But that wasn't the point. The point was that Hiro, clearly a man, just screamed an ear-splitting head-throbbing neck-aching girly scream.
Tenten ignored Hiro and pounced on Gaara, pulling out a kunai and repeatedly trying to slice open his face into a thousand different pieces. Gaara, of course, was preoccupied with trying to dodge Tenten's kunai of death. Shikamaru made a run for it since everyone seemed to be busy, praying that no one would make him go back to that 'troublesome' ordeal. Kiba realized he was almost late for his date with Hinata, and so off he too ran. At Hiro's scream, the squirrel that Lee was so occupied with scurried off at a very fast rate, causing Lee to run off after it.
Since everyone was otherwise occupied (or just not there), that left Sasuke to tend after Hiro. And tend he did. First, he gently pulled out the kunai, causing Hiro to whither in pain like a baby. A soothing "shh" was uttered from Sasuke's lips as he tenderly bandaged Hiro's arm. When he was all finished, he seemed to snap out of the daze he was in and glared at the man he just helped.
"Oh my angel sent from heaven!" cried Hiro, before flinging himself at the very scandalized raven-haired man and crying softly into his shoulder. "I was so sure I was going to just die out there, and when I saw your beautiful face before me, I thought seriously that I was in heaven!"
At this point, Tenten had stopped trying to kill Gaara. The two of them stared at the men in embrace.
"Oh my god," was uttered from Tenten's lips before she fainted.
"So, what's your favorite Pokemon?"
A/N: ::grin:: I found some inspiration! Not really, but this chapter was so fun to write! Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive in your reviews! I'll try my hardest to get the next chapter out ASAP.
Oh, and cookies to anyone who can figure out which alias name belongs to whom. It really isn't that difficult.
Till next time!
Thank you so much to – Jmj102 :: misery-chick4 :: Crimsonpawwz :: AphroditeMe :: X-Mirai-X :: Souungo :: lexkixass :: Dark Nemesis :: Crimson Fate :: AnimeFreakPerson :: Bubblekid :: Bakutiku :: Pickled Death :: Takari-san
Sunlit A Colony- Wow, I'm so glad you like my version of Gaara. No one seems to agree with it.
DemonFireGirlHotaru- Thanks for trying to make the review long. I love long reviews.
Sharingank- What exactly does 'HUZZAH' mean?
-- for reviwing. Let's see if I can get boosted past 100
this time! Oh, and Happy Holidays everyone!