Hello, all! This is the start of a multi-chapter fanfic that'll have semi- regular updates and I might actually finish! What's my secret? I have most of it written out! ((does a dance)) This is an Energon fic. For those of you that haven't seen Energon yet (you have my pity) I'll fill you in on the necessaries. For those of you that have, you can skip the next paragraph.

First, the Decepticons live inside Unicron's corpse. Creepy? Yeah. Megatron can somehow control parts of Unicron, and he occasionally shoves various Decepticons against the wall, makes Unicron wrap cables around them, and changes their bodies. In eppy 13, Cyclonus was one of the unfortunate victims of Megatron's hobby. He was whining that he needed to be fixed up after the last battle, so Megatron shoved him against the wall and "fixed" him, for sure: by changing him into Snowcat! Personally, I liked the name Cyclonus better... anyway, if you don't know what he looks like, just find the Snowcat toy (I recommend using to find it). He's got an all- terrain snow vehicle for an alt-mode, whatever that is, I didn't come up with the term, I calls it as I sees it. Seems that his favorite hobby is flying around above Earth, freezing asteroids with these two cannons attached to his back and shoving them into Earth's atmosphere, all while... yodeling. You heard me the first time, yodeling. His alt-mode has gone to his head. Anyway, the Autobots have formed this Energon shield around Earth that protects them, and they also have a moon base called Lunar City that has automatic guns that shoot at any Decepticons that get too close. And that's all ya need to know.

Anyway, Cyclonus MIGHT have taken being turned into Snowcat well, but then, he might NOT. Various sources say that Seekers wouldn't want to live if they couldn't fly; is there any reason to believe this doesn't apply to all fliers? Even those with helicopter alt-modes? And when he's so abruptly changed from a flier to a car with skis... Well, Cyclonus can't be too happy about that. And how could he get such a high rank in the army if he doesn't have SOME sanity somewhere inside him? This is what I think Cyclonus really thinks about.

Yes, I am certifiably insane. I have one of those medical dog tags and a white hospital bracelet to prove it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers Armada or Energon, and as long as we're talking, I don't own G1, G2, BW, BM, RiD, War Within, Universe, Neo something-or-other, and any other Japanese, American, or other TF series I've forgotten. I own Cyclonus/Snowcat's thoughts.


Never to Move Freely

But in the Vacuum of Space


Cyclonus looked down at his feet and bit back a hysterical laugh. A slaggin' snow vehicle. And not even a particular snow vehicle, simply an "all-terrain snow vehicle."

"How can a 'snow vehicle' be all-terrain?!? It's a SNOW vehicle!" he yelled at the stars. No one would hear him. No one can hear you in space.

All-terrain. All-terrain except for the sky. Cyclonus couldn't believe it. The only way he could move freely from now on would be in the vacuum in space, and even then his movements would be hindered by the huge skis on his feet.

Cyclonus spun around in frustration and shot an asteroid, freezing it. "ALL TERRAINS EXCEPT FOR THE ONE THAT MATTERS!" he screamed, shooting three more asteroids and kicking them all towards the Energon grid surrounding Earth. The shards were blasted back at him, scratching and denting his new body.

Not able to control his movements, Cyclonus had to let himself drift towards an asteroid, and kicked off of it so he flew towards the moon. He should have known he would have eventually ended up in a mess like this. The way he acted, he was surprised something hadn't happened to him a long time ago. But he had never thought he would lose the power of flight.

"But what was I supposed to do?" Cyclonus muttered. "I've been acting like a freak so long, I couldn't just start acting normal."

Or would it have been better if he had?

The first day he had joined the Decepticons, he was terrified he wouldn't be good enough to stay in the Decepticons. And no one trusted him. What reason had they to? He hadn't given them one yet. He was the mute one who stuttered out a yessir or no-sir when asked a question, tried to avoid the others, and occasionally tripped over his own two feet to get away from anyone who might try to talk to him. Rooms fell silent when he walked in, and stayed quiet when he left. Cyclonus was sure he wouldn't be in the Decepticons for long.

His paranoia only built, and the fact he was trying so hard not to act like it bothered him finally made him lose it. It was in the middle of battle. They were being shot at like there was no tomorrow. Panicked, Cyclonus snapped for a second. He was never sure of his exact words, but he remembered he'd made some kind of crack about their being no tomorrow for the Autobots, and he charged into battle, guns blazing and giggling hysterically. He shut off his optics and shot at everything that moved and everything that didn't. A few minutes later, he froze. His optics were wide with horror and his arms were paralyzed in mid-air, still positioned to fire. What was he doing? What the slag did he just say?? He'd been standing so near the others, surely they heard him. They couldn't have missed his comment. And did he shoot any Decepticons?? He wasn't paying any attention!

The battle still raged around Cyclonus. He didn't. He was frozen. He was lucky he didn't get shot. That was it, they'd write him off as some sick weirdo and he'd be dismissed from the Decepticons as soon as they got back to the base. Wait - no, not dismissed, simply executed. No one left the Decepticon Army alive. No, not even executed! Maybe locked down in the deepest parts of Cybertron... where they kept so-called psychos...

When they got back, everyone else was joking with each other. They didn't fall silent when Cyclonus walked by. One Decepticon had grabbed his arm as he went by and repeated his joke to the group. They all laughed and congratulated him on the way he had fought. In his moment of insanity, he had killed more Autobots than even the most experienced Decepticons there had. He just stood there, trying to keep his jaw from dropping. He was finally one of them.

So, he knew the trick. Crack a few jokes, and you're one of the group. Act casual. Act funny. Be Joke Boy, they like that.

Cyclonus swept the surface of the moon with an arc of ice, and was rewarded when the automatic weapons guarding Lunar City started shooting at him. He glided through space as fast as he could, gravity eventually forcing him to land on the dark side of the moon.

"If I could still fly I wouldn't have had to land," Cyclonus muttered. He glanced around uncomfortably. Even if he was on the other side of the moon, Lunar City wasn't far off. Stupid Earth with its stupid tiny moon.

Cyclonus looked at his feet. Correction, looked at his /skis/ sitting in the moon dust. The humans had a word connecting to this rock. "Lunatic." It meant you were driven crazy by the moon. That had pretty much happened to Cyclonus. Countless eons were spent trying to fight the Autobots, keep up his mask, and act emotionally stable around his endless joking and pranking. Psychologist after psychologist had tried to get inside his head to figure out why he acted so wild and they all failed. They all eventually came to the conclusion he was looking for attention. Contrary to popular belief, it was because he didn't want attention.

Keeping up such a balancing act would tax anyone's sanity. Cyclonus was no exception. Until, finally, he was stranded on a tiny rock with only seven Transformers to talk to, and half of them were Autobots. In such small quarters, if he disappeared for an hour or two, it'd be noticed. He had to stay around the others at all times.

He. Couldn't. Take. It.

He needed some way to vent the pressure. The occasional battle wasn't enough. But he had to act at least slightly respectable around his commander, didn't he? He had to be a good little Decepticon, do everything Megatron told him to do, and make a few little jokes to keep everyone happy. But it took less than a day for him to realize that no one cared. He could blow up Cybertron and as long as the Bots died too no one cared. Starscream was a hundred times more unstable than Cyclonus was. Cyclonus could do anything he wanted and, for once, no one would care.

Well, that was great and that was dandy and he wouldn't have to act anymore except, when you spend eons acting like someone you aren't, you can't just suddenly decide to stop and expect to be okay. His motherboard had reprogrammed itself to think "I have to act like Joke Boy until the day I can stop," but he had never really thought forward to when he could stop. Cyclonus just couldn't believe it'd be that easy. He could stop now, if he wanted to. But he couldn't.

Joke Boy. That's who Cyclonus was, the Joke Boy. A Marx brother with machine guns. And he couldn't change that.


Meh, kinda weird ending. Chapters 1 and 2 were originally going to be together, but I cut it in half so it'd make more sense.

Yes, I know I have a weird opinion on Cy's thoughts, so sue me. I'm a FANFIC writer! I can make him think anything I want! I AM SUPERIOR! I CAN MAKE MEGATRON FALL IN LOVE WITH A PENGUIN'S LEFT FOOT! Um... ((shudder)) Lucky for you, I am revolted by that idea. ((yecch)) Anywho, I always like to hear back from fellow Transfans, so lemme know what you think. Thankee.