What if Sarah & Nancy started a correspondence years after the fateful events at the end of The Craft?
Here are four possible ways it could go down...
Possible letters #1
I just want to say that I'm really happy to hear that you've turned your life around and are now an Evangelical Christian. It's wonderful that you've found peace with God. I wish you nothing but the best in your life.
You're the devil.
Possible letters #2
Please don't send bloody chickens to my house anymore. Don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry.
I'm very sorry. I can't help the way I am...I just get a little crazy sometimes. I'm sorry. I won't send you bloody chickens to your house again.
I thought I told you not to send anything to my house again??!!
You didn't tell me not to send "anything" to your house again. You specifically told me not to send you bloody chickens. Anyone with eyes (and a nose, for that matter) could plainly see that what I sent was not bloody chickens but dead fish. Why are you persecuting me?
Hurt & Dismayed,
Possible letters #3
Thank you for the thoughtful letter. I accept your apology. It was only temporary madness as the result of messing with Forces That Were Better Off Left Alone, after all. It's happened to lots of people.
What am I doing with my life now? Oh, nothing much. Got a teaching degree–been applying to a few places, maybe St. Benedict's will hire me, wouldn't that be a riot?
As for my personal life, after Chris Hooker dumped me, tried to rape me, and later died tragically (oops, sorry to remind you...but remember, it really wasn't you, it was your evil twin sister), I realized that I was really a lesbian.
By the way, are you dating anyone these days?
Actually, I'm pretty steady now with this really cool girl I met named Willow. You see, we both met at the same support group for Formerly Apocalyptic Psycho Witches (F.A.P.W.). We got married in San Francisco last Fall.
All the best,
Possible letters #4
You realize we were just two crazy teenage girls with low self-esteem, over-active imaginations, and a lot of time on our hands, right?
Yeah, we were -ed up, all right. That LSD we were taking couldn't have helped matters, I reckon.