Title: Aren't You Grateful It's Not a Bunny? Part 1/? The Amazing Quest

Author: Appomattoxco

Rating: PG

Pairings: G/Anya B/S with a surprise thrown or two in

Summary: Season 7 of BtVS When Giles and Anya Summon a spirit guide to find a way to defeat the First they get much more than they expected. inspired by Cary Grant and writen for Miss Murchinson.

A/N1Wonderful beta work by BabiesStoleMyDingo. Any Errors are my own fault

A/N 2 I've messed with canon and the timeline. Only three potentials exists Vi, Ahn Cho and Amanda. Oh yeah no principal Wood. Either they never existed or they died horribly at the hands of the bringers whatever will make you happiest. I have my own take on why the First is all stirred up and how it gets taken down too.

Warnings: Romantic Comedy so expect schmoop and "fade to black kisses"

Giles was headed back to the kitchen for another cup of tea. As he passed by her chair Anya called his attention with the first thing on hand. If she could get him to look at what she was reading she thought he might put one of his large warm hands on her shoulder or get a peek at the red lacey bra he didn't know she was wearing for him. "Maybe if you used this ritual and sought a spirit guide? It's a new moon tomorrow and the woods will be a good place for it," Anya suggested to Giles, pointing out the page she was reading in a book of ancient demon ritual, doing her best to hide her surprise at its relevance.

"Didn't Dawn tell me about Buffy already doing that when Glory showed up?" Andrew asked.

Anya glared at him for reminding her she wasn't alone with Giles and said, "It's not the same.

Besides, this is real life not a stupid T.V. show. The same thing can work more than once..."Anya stopped before completing the sentence, suddenly thinking that perhaps their ratings were down. The idea that her life just might be canceled didn't seem funny at all.

It was well over between them, but Xander could still recognize the look of panic in Anya's eyes. It wasn't like he hadn't had many chances to see it, after all. "He only meant it didn't do much good then."

"Yes. Yes it did Xan," Buffy said solemnly, then tried to lighten the mood. "I guess I'll need to find an extra sleeping bag. It looks like Giles and I will be doing some camping."

"I don't think it would be wise. That kind of spell would leave you much too vulnerable to the First." Giles rubbed the back of his neck and thought a moment. Trying to focus on the problem at hand and not on Anya's bosom or the tiny hint of red he could see when he first looked down. "Perhaps with Willow's assistance I could?"

Willow was already shaking her head and beginning to protest when Anya interrupted. "I'll do it. For the love of Pete, why doesn't anyone around here remember I can do a little magic?"

"This takes an experienced caster. Perhaps we can find an alterative. The B..."

"And people say I have no manners. Do I need to remind you that it's not nice to make a lady recount her age, Giles?" The other women in the room shot Anya a look, but her flirting passed right over Giles' and Xander's heads like a flying monkey.

"It works for me. I get to miss out on the not-so-fun cryptic campfire tale, and you and Anya get to do the hokey pokey." Buffy blushed brightly, and in spite of her earlier distress, Willow was biting her tongue to keep from laughing.

The pair made it to the appointed place without incident. Well, without killing each other, anyway. Giles had a lot to say about Anya's skills as a driver, after the coin toss ended their long argument over who would get behind the wheel. Anya did her share of grumbling over how much Giles had packed for the overnight trip.

They chanted and made the proscribed offerings. Anya was to simply serve as an anchor on this plane, while Giles sought a guide for advice on how to defeat the First. The minute their hands touched he knew they should have practiced some meditation together. Anya definitely kept her focus and there was no question that she kept him anchored, but she had far more power of her own than he had anticipated.

It all might still have worked out fine, but at the exact moment the guide beckoned him, an Old English Sheepdog came bounding out from behind some underbrush, knocked over the small altar, and stole the bone they had placed there as an offering. It was a large dog but remarkably fast. When they gave up the chase, Giles was limping and Anya was gasping for breath.

"Look over there! It's not a complete loss. Maybe we don't even need the old bone—we still have the guide."

Giles turned his light to left and saw an animal sitting there. He could sense the magic from it, but it was definitely corporeal. "Anya, that's not a bloody spirit guide! It's not a spirit anything thing; you made a flesh and blood leopard!"

"Me? I didn't do this! It's all your fault, mister I!am!the!Watcher!here!" Anya punctuated each closely strung word with a poke to Giles chest.

Giles began to fantasize; if he took that small elegant hand in his and kissed her palm, perhaps sucked that pink tipped finger... Good Lord, he thought, the woman was driving him insane. He didn't notice she just kept on.

"If you had just listened to me and spent the last couple of hours giving me orgasms, this wouldn't have happened. No, you had to prepare for a vision quest the traditional stuffy Watcher way."

"I fail to see how 'shagging you senseless' would have helped in this situation. If you had applied yourself to the meditation... and why on earth did you use that particular term? Who did you think you were speaking to? Spike?"

"Rupert, are you jealous? It was only that one time and we were drunk. That was all your fault too; it was your alcohol, so you really can't blame either of us."

"Why would I be jealous of Spike? Of course you've had drunken sex with him. Everybody's done it." Giles was shockingly angry at himself for leaving last year, in a way he hadn't been when Buffy told him much the same thing. Now he was jealous. It was just stress. It had to be; this wasn't the time or place to let his heart thaw. So, he only allowed his irritation at Anya to show.

"Giles, was it the summer after Glory?" Anya asked eagerly." Don't be embarrassed. Spikes very good, even when he's inebriated and grief can make people act out of character." She patted Giles' hand and tried to act reassuring. Privately she mused regretfully that if the pair ever actually had drunken gay sex it would never have been taped.

It was easy to see the man was getting upset. Before this, Anya had admired Giles for his cool head in a crisis. Of course there was that incident with the bunnies... Anya shuddered. It was time they both refocused. "Giles, I don't think she's going to eat us. I think she wants us to follow her."