Author's Note: I was reading the story fic again, and I thought, what the hell - one last chapter just for the hell of it. And to make it end at an even number. This is not a continuiation of the story, but a commentary of the story - by Rhonda, Gerald and Sid. Just think of MST3K and audio commentaries in DVDs and you get the idea. I was obviously bored as I wrote this, but hey, whatever.
Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.
Chapter 30: DVD Commentary
"Hi, I'm Gerald Johannson. I'm the head male protagonist of 'Changing of the Guards', a fanfic made exclusively out of boredom and insomnia from the eccentric mind of the author, which unfortunately couldn't be with us today due reasons unknown. But I do however have some of his notes so I can guide you throughout the movie."
"I'm Rhonda Lloyd, I'm the secondary female protagonist next to… you know… that girl y'all love so dearly, despite she's being a total bit—."
"Rhonda…" Gerald cut her off, "Please? You can criticize and condemn Helga later. This ain't the time."
"Oh…" she whined, "okay. Give me the popcorn."
"And I'm Sid. I just so happen to be here so I can pester my two esteemed colleagues. And we're—"
"Your Fairy Godparents!" Two voices, male and female, shouted behind them unexpectedly.
"Cosmo, Wanda," Gerald said to them, "The Channel Chasers screening is at Cinema Five, this is Two."
"Huh? Oh! Really?" Cosmo replied back, in his usual, nearly panicky tone, "I thought it was an inverted number five!"
"It's your head that's inverted!" Wanda shouted at him angrily. And then the both of them exited the theatre, leaving the three teenagers looking at each other in incredulous disbelief.
"See? This is what happens when we're off-duty from the show… doing nothing but loitering around Nickelodeon's offices." Rhonda sighed. "They really should start making our show again…" yes, MAKE NEW HEY ARNOLD EPISODES! PULL THE SHOW OUT FROM CANCELLATION! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU DID THAT!
"Those silly crossovers… Kinda like Cartoon Network's commercials, isn't it?" Sid said to them.
"Shh…" Gerald quickly shushed him up, "Those evil words are strictly must not to be mentioned in this building!"
"I think we've strayed away too much from the original commentary already." Rhonda said to both of them.
"Yeah. I think we should start right now, before things go even screwier. Okay, so here we are, at the opening credits. I love this scene."
"I couldn't agree with you more." Rhonda concurred, "I mean, just look at the camerawork. It greatly emphasizes the ambiance and the texture of a large, decaying inner-city that we all love so dearly. The rumbling noises of the el train passing through, cars zooming by, gunshots and the noise of walking pedestrians underline the tempo of big city living."
"Did your parents drop you on the head when you were a baby, Rhonda?" Sid asked her, after being confused by her thorough explanation.
"Aren't you supposed to be with Nadine right now, Sid?" Rhonda asked him back, getting more and more annoyed.
"She has a doctor's appointment!" Sid cried back. "So I'm all alone now, cold and lost…" he soliloquized, "Like a small puppy walking through the dangerous streets of—"
"Ah shut up, don't be so melodramatic, you fool." Gerald playfully smacked his back and they both laughed. As for Rhonda, she could only look at them in annoyance and shook her head.
"Boys…" she groaned. "So here we are at the headquarters of LES, where Bridget, the focal character of this story, besides Helga, is running the game. A small fact about LES, it has about 150 agents, consisting mostly of college girls and female high school upperclassmen."
"Ah… heaven." Sid sighed happily. "Hey Rhonda, take a look at your picture." Sid pointed to the screen. "It has your good side on it."
"Yeah, it does." Rhonda agreed as she nodded. "Nadine looks great too."
"She sure is…" Sid concurred with her.
"Ah, finally! My first scene in the story!" Gerald said happily.
"And then you're nowhere to be found until chapter nine." Sid teased, laughing softly with Rhonda.
"You will not dull my euphoria!" he snapped back playfully. He then focused on the story, "My style of narration and how I constructed the sentences are inspired from lots people, not just Jesse Jackson actually, like Dr. King and Malcolm X."
"Heh." Sid chuckled, "You just had to talk suavely to Phoebe, did ya?"
"Of course, man!" Gerald replied back, smiling.
"Ooh, Phoebe is excellent in this scene." Rhonda said.
"Fine acting." Gerald agreed with her.
"Lila isn't half bad either." Sid said.
"Yeah…" Rhonda reluctantly agreed.
"Well, that's new. You're actually complimenting her." Gerald replied snidely. "I'd take the 'Cold War' is over then?"
"Sorta." Rhonda smiled wryly. "All the girls become close after production wrapped up, and we hangout quite often. Before this we just hungout with our own cliques. Me and Nadine, Helga and Phoebe, Lila with… someone." Then the scene changed, "Ooh! My scene! My scene!" Rhonda said happily as she pointed to the screen.
"You always shop for clothes, Rhonda." Sid said. "Don't you have more than enough already?"
"It's always not enough!" Rhonda snapped back good-naturedly.
"And expensive too." Sid continued, "You should've gone to S-Mart or something."
"Eew, no way!" Rhonda replied back in disgust, "I'd be caught dead if I shop for clothes there!"
"Well, your loss." Sid replied back, "Ooh, here's Nadine's scene." He said in admiration.
"Man, look at his eyes, man." Gerald said to Rhonda, "All widened up and glittering like a puppy."
"Aww, how cute…" Rhonda replied back, "They do make a cute couple together."
"Heheh…" Sid chuckled as he carved a soft smile across his face, "Still, I'm kinda pissed that her scene is kinda short compared to you guys."
"It's just you." Rhonda replied, "I've always though Phoebe's scene is the shortest."
"And then along came Helga." Gerald said.
"Looking pissed off as ever." Sid replied back, judging her angry looking face. "I've lost count on just how many PMS jokes that we've made about her." he said, laughing.
"Well, she has to cope with a lot of crap back home, so she has a reason to be angsty and angry." Rhonda replied, trying to put a reason behind her rather discontented look.
"Ah, the next scene." Gerald said, smiling broadly. "It brings a lot of memories."
"Man, I should've been there with you and Arnold." Sid said to him.
"Why, just because you want to listen to her saying that… that line?" Rhonda asked demandingly.
"You should've said 'me' when Bridge asked you that, Rhonda. And ask her if you could touch her button again." Sid smiled widely at her. She then mumbled a few expletives under her breath.
"In this chapter," Rhonda explained, "is where we introduced the organization to the audience. We explained the reason why it was set up, its interesting history and of course, its rules. I myself was kinda shocked when they offered me to become as one of them, but later I became more and more accepting to their proposal. Not to mention, Nadine also made some contribution to convince me into joining them."
"Whoa…" Gerald said in awe, "I don't remember their headquarters was that big."
"Their rules should be changed." Sid said, "You guys should be allowed to use guns."
"Well, we did a kickass job even without them, so I don't think the rules will be amended in the future." Rhonda replied, smiling.
"Whoa, Mayor Dixie used to be a member of this spy organization too?" Gerald asked.
"Yeah." Rhonda answered, slightly aggravated, "Why is it so hard for you guys to believe it?"
"And Helga's sister used to be the best, huh?" Sid asked her.
"Not anymore." Rhonda replied back.
"Hehe, classic Rhonda-Helga moment." Sid said, smirking. "You two should've fight in the diner just for the hell of it."
"Will the rivalry ever ends?" Gerald asked sardonically.
"Well, that anorexic stick shouldn't have called me that." She scoffed, "I'm not fat…"
The scene then changed to Helga's home where she confronted with her sister regarding the spy agency.
"Helga sure has a lot beef about her sister." Rhonda said. "I'm so glad I'm the only child."
"Well, brothers and sisters can be annoying sometimes," Gerald said, "but despite of it, we're all family and we look out for one another. I'm just saying that if we have no one to go to or we're completely lost, we can always count for their help. Take from a guy like me: my bro and I don't get along well sometimes, but he was willing to help me when I had some trouble with the guys at Joey's neighborhood."
Rhonda suddenly began to sniff and suddenly she threw herself to Sid and hugged him, "I wish I had a brother or a sister to take care of me!" she cried and sobbed. Sid, still quizzical at the reaction, tried to console her.
"How did the training go, Rhonda?" Gerald said as he watched Rhonda wiped a tear off her eye.
"It was okay…" She replied, sobbing weakly, "Despite of Linda being a jerk, she and the rest of the team members helped us a lot."
"GI Jane, the Real Hillwood City hero! GI Jane is there!" Sid sang a modified version of the GI Joe song. "Glad they didn't shave your head."
"I shudder at the very thought of it." Rhonda scoffed.
"Go for that Natalie Portman style, Rhonda." Sid said playfully, "Oh, speaking of her, have you seen her in 'Closer'? Holy shit!"
"I didn't know you took ballet lessons, Rhonda." Gerald said to her.
"It's my best kept childhood secret." She replied back, beginning to smile, "I dreamed of becoming a great dancer someday, but the thought of having you guys knowing me going to a ballet academy really haunted me as a child."
"Think of all the blackmail opportunities!" Sid exclaimed happily. He then came closer to Gerald and whispered to him, "You should've used the Helga ballet dancing pics I gave to you when we were in fourth grade."
But he ignored him since his favorite scene was on, "Aw hell yeah, Phoebe's fight scene." Gerald said happily. "I must say I am deeply fond of this scene. Watching Phoebe getting all physical and kicking ass really makes me proud of her."
"Slacking off, huh?" Sid said with a smirk.
"Hey… we got nothing to do there, man." Rhonda replied.
Gerald rolled his eyes, watching the screen, "Oh yeah, Helga's scene. This scene kinda made me remember about the one where Arnold got into some bad shit with Frankie G. Thankfully I was around to help the poor kid."
"Ouch." Rhonda winced, "That's a very brutal kick from Helga."
"Wow…" Sid said in awe and a bit of horror, "I think I'm going to think twice before I go messing with her in the future."
"Wait 'till you see my scene Sid…" Rhonda replied back, smirking devilishly.
"Heh, that's a nice shot." Gerald said, complimenting on Lila's mad crossbow shooting skillx0rz.
"And the car goes round and round, round and round, round and round." Sid sang off-tune to the tune of the 'Wheels on the Bus' song.
"Bad ass…" Rhonda said in awe. "Wait a minute, now she's crying? What a crybaby!"
"Silent and deadly. That's Nadine to y'all." Sid said proudly, to the confusion of Rhonda and Gerald as they looked at him with a perplexed gaze.
"Uh… yeah, whatever." Rhonda said, "I must admit, Nadine is a very good ninja-type person in this scene."
"Wasn't Monkeyman supposed to be in a chase scene after Nadine's scene?" Sid asked.
"Yeah, he supposed to be…" Gerald said as he flipped my notes, "but his scene was cut to make room for Phoebe and her mentor Natalie, and his scene was then reluctantly moved to Chapter 13."
"Oh… okay." Rhonda said, nodding. "So now the truck now goes through the alley, hitting everything in front of it, and managed to get back on the road again."
"And here's techno chick Phoebe really shines." Gerald said.
"Pfft…" Rhonda scoffed, "I know how to use a PDA too. It's not that hard." The scene now showed where the bad guys finally got caught.
"I call police brutality." Sid said, looking at the scene rather angrily.
"Oh, Sid." Rhonda said in a rather playful tone, "Don't generalize all of them just because you had bad experience with them in the past. Ah, here's my scene. I'm really proud of this since I did all of the stunts myself."
"The scene with mugger and that chick is pretty dark for a comedy if ya ask me." Gerald said.
"Well, it has a happy in the end." Rhonda replied as she smirked.
"'Screw?'" Sid asked. "That word didn't go well with the dialogue content. If I were you, I'd say to that asshole 'Eew… who wants to fu—"
"I had to use it since the author wanted to set some standards in this story." Rhonda replied back, interrupting Sid from finishing his sentence, "The usage of the F-word is forbidden since it will degrade the fic's quality."
"And the word 'bitch' isn't?" Gerald asked back, "Man, talk about double-standards…"
This made Rhonda thought of what he said, and she grimaced, "Yeah… what is with the double-standards?"
The scene then showed where Rhonda kicked the guy in the crotch. Both of the guys winced in pain and horror, as if they feel they got kicked instead of the guy in the screen.
"Ouch…" Sid said, "I don't care what balls you're made of, but that's horrible."
"I concur." Gerald said nodding weakly.
"Eh… you guys are just exaggerating the pain." Rhonda said, "It can't be that bad."
"Orlando Bloom is the epitome of hawtness." Rhonda said giddily.
"Pfft." Sid scoffed, "Orlando Bloom. Why do girls like that damned woody, untalented pretty boy anyway?"
"Ahh, I see someone here is jealous of him." Rhonda said in a playful singsong voice.
"No I'm not." He scoffed back, "Why the hell should I be jealous of that rich, bratty, ugly looking jerk anyway?"
Gerald rolled his eyes, "Whatever man. And so here we are now at Helga's fight scene with Linda. The whole chapter is dedicated for this scene, so it shows that the author really wanted to epitomize the badassery of the fight. We even recruited the guy who choreographed the fight scenes in The Matrix and Star Wars Prequels."
"No wonder the fight scene looks fluid, energetic and awesome." Sid agreed.
"In all honesty, I enjoy seeing Helga in pain." Rhonda smiled.
Rhonda, Gerald and Sid sat in awed silence as they watched the scene.
"Awesome show they put, the both of them." Gerald said, satisfied after watching the scene.
"I wish the fight is portrayed in a comic somewhere…" Sid said.
"Well, the author said he's an aspiring animator, so it's bound to show up on DeviantArt or somewhere sooner or later eventually." Rhonda hinted.
"Lamest. Chapter title. Ever." Sid said in his worst. Impersonation. Of Comic Book Guy. Ever.
"C'mon, cut the guy some slack." Gerald said, referring to me. "He busted his head off just to keep us entertained. In this scene where Olga and Helga talk to each other he was emphasizing the growing warm relationship between them because of Helga joining the spy agency, since their sisterly camaraderie was never good to begin with."
Sid laughed, "I always cracked up when Olga said that." He referred to when Olga said, "Oh dearest me, I forgot to pee."
"God I hate cafeteria food." Gerald said upon seeing the mashed potatoes being plopped into his plate.
"Who doesn't?" Rhonda said, "This is what you guys discuss at every lunch hour? Tasteless and uninspiring late night movies on Cinemax?"
"It was a slow day." Sid justified his discussion, "Usually, we discuss about the growing problems in our society where bigotry and xenophobia prevails, endless problematic teen issues and the troublesome world political climate." That, was one Sid's few intelligent moments. He usually wasn't this smart.
Rhonda chuckled, "Yeah right. You of all people." And then the scene changed to Curly's sudden introduction. "And I enjoy seeing him in pain too." She said happily.
"You have no empathy." Gerald said, smiling. "So here I am, going for Samuel L. Jackson's character in Pulp Fiction. I'm really a big fan of him and I always consider him as a teacher to my acting."
"Samuel Jackson, huh?" Rhonda said, smiling.
"MMM-MMM!" Gerald yelled unexpectedly, "SAMUEL JACKSON!"
Rhonda was quite uncomfortable, "Could you please stop yelling at me?"
"NO I CAN'T STOP YELLING, 'CAUSE THAT'S HOW I TALK! DIDN'T YOU SEE MY MOVIES? 'JUICE', THAT WAS A GOOD ONE! 'DEEP BLUE SEA?' THEY ATE ME! A FLIPPING SHARK ATE ME!"
And Rhonda punched him in the guts.
"Told ya you shouldn't mess with her with all her training and whatnot." Sid said, whispering to Gerald. "Still, that was awesome, man." Gerald smiled, and they gave each other a high-five.
"Ooh, the ceremony scene." Rhonda said excitedly, "And Lila always ruins the mood."
"She's very insecure throughout the story." Sid said.
"Yeah… come to think of it, she was very confident when she was in grade school." Gerald said.
"She told me she's scared to be other people's burden." Rhonda said. "She's the most prude person I've ever met. She's annoying."
"It's funny isn't it? To see society nowadays frowns on politeness and modesty." Gerald replied back.
"Welcome to the real world, man." Sid said to him, patting his back.
"Biting social commentary, guys. Scathing." Rhonda said sarcastically.
"When the hell Gino has a brother?" Sid asked.
"Beats me." Gerald shrugged. "But let's play along for the sake of the story."
"I hate him." Rhonda replied. "Michael is a loser Don Corleone wannabe. Hell, Big Gino is way better than he is."
"Uh… I think that's what the story intends, Rhonda." Gerald replied back. "This chapter has several plot twists in the story. Bridget had to stay due to the new threat, the first we really get to see Helga's concern about her sister, and the introduction of their new enemy, Gino's Brother."
"How was it like to be partnered with Helga?" Sid asked Rhonda.
"Eh, it was shaky at first, but after we understood each other, things just get better."
"So, you didn't get the restraining order huh?" Gerald asked.
"I had one for Curly, but none for Helga." She answered back.
The scene showed where Rhonda fell on top of garbage bins below her.
"Well, that was unintentionally hilarious." Sid said, smiling.
"Hey, be nice!" Rhonda cried back, "Even as a stunt, it really hurts when I fell on those garbage cans!"
"Another fight scene cometh." Gerald said.
"And then we all cowered because of a false alarm." Rhonda shook her head.
"So orchids are Nadine's favorite flowers huh?" Gerald said, playfully nudging Sid away from him. "I didn't know you're the sensitive type kind of guy."
"Hey, I did say I wanted to give her some frogs… toads… whatever." Sid said, smiling.
"I commend you for giving her those really beautiful flowers, Sid." Rhonda said, "I wish my ex was as thoughtful as you are." She mumbled to herself.
The scene then changed to Helga and Gino.
"This is one of the few Helga scenes that I like." Gerald said. "It really shows that Helga really cares for her sister, despite of her coldness towards her."
"I agree." Rhonda nodded, "It's in a chapter like this I truly can sympathize with her."
"And now, comes my scene." Sid said happily, upon looking at his scene where he was half-naked and covered only with a towel, "Look at me, man. Look at that stud! ALL DA LADIES ARE GONNA GET SOME LOVIN' NOW!"
"Yuck, I think I'm gonna puke." Rhonda said teasingly, even though she was a bit disgusted with Sid's skinny body.
"God, what did I do to receive this kind of torture?" Gerald said as he looked upwards.
"Bah, you guys are just jealous!" Sid said jokingly. "So here I am on the bus, singing and dancing to 'What is Love,' on my way to the cinema." He too started to bang his head.
"A little bit of dramatic tension here," Rhonda said upon watching the phone scene with Helga. "And Nadine to the rescue!"
"I'm sorry to see she just abruptly left you in that theater, man." Gerald patted Sid's back.
"Well, she had a reason, and it was justified." Sid smiled back proudly.
"This is Monkeyman's finest hour." Gerald said, watching Monkeyman beating the shit out of the sniper.
"Man, if I got nothing to do and I couldn't care less about my future; I'd join forces with him." Sid said.
"I really don't understand why he's an idol to a lot of the member of the opposite sex." Rhonda shook her head. "I mean: he's smelly, he has no job, he's a total loser—"
"Hey, careful what you said Rhonda." Sid replied back rather angrily, "To us, he's the epitome of total independence and is in liberty to do whatever he wants. He's not under pressure by society or anyone! That's why, he rocks."
Rhonda rolled her eyes. "Whatever!"
"So, here's another tender scene with Helga and Olga." Gerald said.
"And in the end, the best damn plot twist ever!" Sid said rather jubilantly.
"I like the chase scene since I got to hit a guy with a car." Gerald said with a smirk.
"Lila is in the majority of the scenes in this chapter. So it's safe to assume that this chapter is dedicated entirely to her." Sid said.
"I disagree. Why didn't you count us who had to chase that guy all over again in the last scene?" Rhonda retorted back.
"My apologies, Miss Lloyd. I should've been more aware of it." Sid said good-naturedly.
"I forgive you, Mr. Sid…" Rhonda then stopped, "Hey, what is your last name anyway?"
"Well, I'm deeply saddened by this." Sid put a hand on his heart and began to sob, "We've been friends for so long and yet you don't even know my last name?"
"We'll talk about it later man," Gerald said, "Now, on to the horse carriage scene."
"This greatly reminds me of that Tim Burton movie." Rhonda said.
"The author said he was 'paying a tribute' to that movie." Gerald replied back, "Or in other words, he ripped it off."
"Now here we are where us guys are planning to help you girls out." Sid said.
"Ooh, male intervention. You guys never give up with all that 'Knight in Shining Armor' concept, do ya?" Rhonda said good-naturedly. "It's cute, I give you that."
"Hey girl, you guys are our friends. We'll help whenever possible." Gerald said, smiling.
"And now the chapter ends with us telling the legend of the Spy Agency." Sid said.
"You look so hot playing the guitar Sid." Rhonda complimented playfully, smiling.
"Careful now, you don't want to make Nadine angry at ya." Sid replied back, also smiling.
"Eugene is such a dork." Rhonda said teasingly.
"Who cares about Eugene, man!" Sid exclaimed, "It's Arnold's mom we're supposed to talk about here! God, she's so flipping hot! She's such a MILF!" Sid exclaimed again happily. "Damn, if she were in front of me now, I'd—" this particular dialogue was not written due to the unintelligible contents that male teenagers usually say when they couldn't control their hormones.
"Whoa… hold on there tiger." Gerald said, trying to calm him down.
"Yeah." Rhonda said calmly, "You do know we're going to send the raw unedited recording of this commentary to Arnold after we're finished, right?" she lied, giving him an evil smirk.
Sid's raging hormones abruptly stopped producing and he looked at Rhonda with a troubled, scared look, "You're… kidding me…"
"Hell no." Gerald said with a smile, decided to play along, "All the stuff that you said just now will be ship to Arnold, where he will watch it together with his family, especially his mom."
"Oh… well… ah… wow…" then there was a long pause. "HOLY MOTHER CRAP SHIT DAMN ASS! Arnold's totally gonna murder me when he hears that!" he said in panic.
"Don't forget his mom!" Gerald reminded him, adding more fuel into his fear, "And just think what Arnold's dad will react when he hears you said about his wife!"
"OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!" Sid yelled continuously in fear. At this point he already got up and started to pace back and forth on the walkway in between the seats. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?" he said, pulling his cap downwards in panic. Gerald and Rhonda were trying hard to suppress their laugh.
"Wait 'till I tell Nadine!" Rhonda added, and both she and Gerald finally burst into a fit of laughter.
In a fit of panic, knowing that every word that he just said will be heard by everyone, he then made a drastic decision: he ran to the projection room and opened the door by kicking it violently. His kick was so hard that the door detached away from the threshold and hit the projectionist in the head. He then took the film away from the projector and with it he ran out of the theatre.
"For crying out loud Sid, we're just joking!" Rhonda yelled at him from the theater, hoping that Sid would hear her.
"Sorry guys…" Sid said with an apologetic smile, as both of his friends looked at him angrily.
"We're lucky Timmy wished us a new film to put back into the projector, or else we'd been kicked out of the Nickelodeon's office for sure." Rhonda said angrily.
"And don't be doing that again." Gerald warned him, and Sid nodded violently. "Okay… onwards to the commentary." He resumed, "In this chapter we're introduced to one of the most ambiguous character in this story: my man Fuzzy Slippers."
"Wow, he's so mysterious, that he doesn't even have a dialogue and the camera won't show his face at all!" Rhonda exclaims.
"That just adds to his mysterious demeanor." Sid said.
"You guys actually volunteered for the informant position? You guys are braver than I thought." Rhonda said to them. "Still, I'm proud of you guys."
"Gerald made me do it." Sid jokingly pointed to Gerald.
"Hey, come on now. What's wrong with giving our friends a helping hand, huh?" he asked, smiling. The scene changed to where Sid and Gerald pinned Gino to the wall. "Hell yeah, that's what I'm talking about." He and Sid gave each other a high-five.
"We'd make a good team together, do we?" Sid said, smiling.
There was nothing interesting to say here, so they just kept silent, with the exception of the sounds of popcorn crunching and the soda slurping.
"I hate that place." Rhonda said, "Mosquitoes been biting me all night when we were shooting that scene."
"I suddenly have developed an urge to pop a malaria humor." Sid said to himself.
"Do that later." Gerald replied, "Things are heating up at this point right now, as we're entering the climax of this story."
Sid quickly added, "I also suddenly have developed an urge to pop a—"
"You could also do that later." Rhonda interjected quickly. The scene changed to where Rhonda was preparing to blow up the tank, "I had fun blowing the tank. It gave me pyromaniac tendencies and as of right now, I have an urge to set stuffs on fire."
"Too bad things didn't go as planned. Everyone is captured, and a sense of hopelessness quickly develops." Gerald said.
"A cliffhanger!" Sid exclaimed. "Cliffhanger is also a Sylvester Stallone movie." He gave a random trivia.
"I've been thinking, why does every villain in every story tend to tell the good guy his plans before they proceed to kill them, and only to find out that the good guy managed to escape and ultimately destroy the bad guy?" Sid asked them.
"It's a plot device, Sid." Gerald explained. "Every screenwriter on earth used the same thing as a way to explain the audience what the villains are actually planning."
"There's a desperate need for originality. YOU HEAR THAT HOLLYWOOD?" Rhonda shouted out loud just abruptly. "Screw them. I'm watching Asian movies from now on. Thanks Phoebe for showing me the light! My Neighbor Totoro and My Sassy Girl are the best movies I've ever seen!"
"Here now is another scene where Helga and I fight because the both of us are so pissed off at each other." Rhonda explained, "And then it changes into one of the most memorable scenes in this story, where the both of us finally reconcile and together we overcome the odds and successfully break out from the room we're imprisoned in. Yay!"
"I prefer the fight scene." Sid said, which annoyed Rhonda greatly since she felt the character development scene was supposed to be the better of the two scenes.
"An opinion is an opinion, Rhonda." Gerald shrugged, "But, to tell you the truth I do like the scene where you two worked together."
"THANK YOU!" Rhonda sighed in relief.
The scene then changed to inside the mansion, "Sid, tell your girl that she has serious issues with her pets, man." Gerald said, "You must be one hella guy for tolerating her obsession."
"Yeah," Rhonda agreed, "Even watching the scene where she pulls those cockroaches out from the sink made me all gross out." she then looked at the screen, "Eeeeww, gross!"
"Eh, it's not that bad." Sid shrugged, "Hell, I even ate some of those crickets she's been keeping inside her room. She said it's a delicacy in some other country overseas."
Rhonda was disgusted, and felt she wanted to throw up. She quickly put her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom.
"Crap…" Sid said, upon sitting back on his seat with his friends, "I think I just stepped on a cockroach. I wonder what taste like…" he said this to tease Rhonda for puking earlier.
"Stop saying anything Sid." Rhonda said, still feeling very sickly. "Thanks Gerald for helping me out."
"Meh, don't mention it." Gerald smiled, trying to make Rhonda feel better by showing her his lady-killer smile. He got that from one of his idols, Billy Dee. "I'm glad to help."
"Hee hee ha-haha-haww tee hee hee. Stop it, Gerald. Hee hee hee." Rhonda laughed giddily, and her face was flushed in red.
Sid rolled his eyes. "Man, never thought I'd ever see that in my lifetime. Okay Gerald, to the commentary."
"Aw snap, the chapter just ended." Gerald said.
"Awesome prelude to the fight scene." Gerald said, which was agreed by Sid and Rhonda.
"I will now go to the concession stand to buy some popcorn." Sid stood up and announced to them with his index finger pointing up. "Good thing I have this five dollar bill." He showed them.
"Wait a minute!" Rhonda said, "That five dollar bill can't buy popcorn for each of us!"
"She's right!" Gerald exclaimed, pointing to her, "This looks like a job for a twenty!"
"A TWENTY!" everybody exclaimed.
"Wait a minute! What about drinks?" Sid asked, and everybody went back to the drawing board again, rethinking the cash distribution so they could buy the beverages. After they agreed, Sid then nodded and started to walk away from them.
"CAN'T. MOVE! FEET. STUCK. TO FLOOR!"
With popcorn and sodas fully reloaded, they watched the fight scene while eating all the junk food that Sid just bought for them.
"Now that's a shameless rip-off of Kill Bill." Gerald said, munching the popcorn.
"Still, it's an awesome fight scene, though." Sid replied after slurping his drink.
"What about mine?" Rhonda asked, "Pass the popcorn."
"Rhonda, you and Nadine fought with a guy who works in a perfume department." Sid replied back. "That's all I got to say about it."
Gerald put aside his popcorn and took out the notes that I gave to him, "in this scene… munch munch… we get to know Sid's somewhat criminal past and how he turns into an outstanding model citizen which he is now."
"You damn right," Sid replied, munching vigorously, "bitch!"
Gerald smacked the back of his head, "Watch your mouth mofo!"
"Shut up the both of ya!" Rhonda yelled, "I'm trying to enjoy the scene!"
"I love Phoebe's fight scene." Gerald said, smiling.
Rhonda rolled her eyes, "Blatant biasness due to the fact that you're her man?"
Gerald looked at her back, "Heck no, girl. What makes you say that? Hey, y'all did an excellent job for sure, but—"
Rhonda shook her head, smiling, "It's funny to see you trying to justify your reason like that." Gerald lifted his eyebrow, obviously confused.
"Shh…" Sid shushed them up. "Shut up, will ya. Nadine's scene where she got a knife on her throat is up."
"You're really pissed off at that scene, aren't ya man?" Gerald asked him.
"Duh." Sid said, scoffing angrily. "If I were there, I'd beat the shit out of him."
"You did, Sid. In chapter 27." Rhonda replied back.
"Kicking Michael repeatedly in various places of his body is, as Lila would put it, ever so fuc— uh, sweet." Sid said, smiling.
"The ending chapter. I'm kind of sad to see Bridget leaving the organization." Gerald said, making a :( face.
"Yeah, she's a good leader." Rhonda said. "I hope Linda will do just a great a job as Bridget did."
"And here's our own victory scene." Sid said, smiling.
"And everybody gets the chance to kiss." Gerald said.
"Love is in the air?" Sid said disbelievingly, "It's mostly the hormones, man! And Rhonda, you should've done iy when Helga asked you that." He gave her a malicious grin.
"No, she did not ask me that!" Rhonda protested, "Didn't you see Brainy behind me in that scene? She asked him, not me!"
"But if Brainy weren't there, would you still do it?" Sid asked again.
"C'mon. You're not in the slightest a bit curious about it?"
And Rhonda punched him in the face. "Shut up, bitch!"
"Snappy comeback." Gerald said, chuckling.
"Well, I'm glad this story is over." Rhonda said.
"Don't you want to stay till the end of the credits?" Gerald asked her.
"Eh, no." she replied back. "While it has been fun commentating the movie, but I really have to leave."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow Rhonda." Gerald said to her.
"Yeah…" Sid said in a nasally voice, while putting a tissue paper up his nose as he waved at her with his another hand.
"Okay, thanks for listening to our commentary folks." Gerald said, "I hope you guys had a wonderful time listening to us nitpicking the movie. Bye now."
I now can officially say this fanfic is completely over, so don't expect me to update this again. But do however, expect a comic adaptation of it. :)