Ohhhhh . . . character death. Look, if you don't wanna know who dies, don't read this. :( I cried so much after I wrote this, but then I'm a sook. The title of this fic and the lyrics are from the Taxiride song 72 Hour Daze. Look, please don't hate me for doing this fic, ok? Writing it was the only way to get it out of my head. AAAAAHHHH! I'M A BARBARIC MURDERER!! :(
Disclaimer: I don't own Round The Twist or any of its characters . . . which is probably a good thing . . .
The sun peeked through the gloomy slate-grey storm clouds on that Monday morning seemingly in an attempt to lift the spirits of Mr. Snapper's class – most of whom were suffering from severe cases of Mondayitis.
It worked to some extent, brightening the moods of most of the students, but not Anthony's. The fact that the storm clouds were slowly ebbing away did nothing to lift his spirits. Today, no amount of sunshine, no matter how radiant, could cheer him up – not even the sight of Linda, who had once been his one and only sunshine.
It's a lovely day today,
so why do I feel strange?
Wasted away, I am dry
Three feet to either way
Can't help to think what may
Will be left around me when I die
Anthony let his mind wander throughout the whole day. Normally he was never like this; he always paid attention at school, in fact he was always head of his class, always getting perfect marks for every subject. His parents and teachers never had any doubts that he would succeed in everything he encountered in his life, how he was destined for great things.
But what use is a successful life if you're destined to be unhappy? Anthony kept thinking bitterly. Linda – the only girl he had ever loved – had broken his heart, leaving Anthony feeling like he had nothing left to live for.
So he had given up.
And the sunlight in my eyes
ain't helping me
'Cause everywhere I look
it's all I see
Linda was in the library when Anthony found her, singing softly to herself as she often did.
Anthony watched her briefly. It had been kept secret for too long; he had to tell Linda how he felt about her. Taking several deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm his nerves, he approached her. "Linda?"
She saw him and grinned. "Hey, Ant."
Anthony's heart fluttered, as did the butterflies in his stomach; he loved it when Linda called him "Ant". Then, letting go of his inhibitions, he blurted it out: "Linda . . . I love you."
She gazed at him with an expression that Anthony was unable to decipher, so before she could say anything, he continued. "I . . . I've loved you ever since we first met. You're the most amazing person I've ever known . . . I love you . . . "
For a few horrible seconds that felt like an eternity to Anthony, they regarded each other in silence. Then Linda spoke. "Anthony . . . I . . . I know how you feel about me . . . " She reached out and gently squeezed his shoulder. "I really, really like you . . . but not in that way . . . I'm sorry . . . "
She gave him a brief, sad smile, and then she was gone.
So I'll fly . . .
Dreaming of another place
To wash away the pain
So I can fly away
Can't deal with all of my disgrace
Waiting for the time
When I will fly away
Anthony was always unsettled by that memory. He was also hurt by the fact that Linda hardly spoke to him anymore. Every now and then, they would exchange a quiet "Hi", or she would give him brief, sad smiles, but that was it.
However, Anthony took comfort in the fact that his pain would all be over after today.
And the moonlight in your eyes
is melting me
Rise up through the skies
and reach for me
Anthony lingered after school had finished for the day, loitering around the yard and avoiding various teachers as they locked their classrooms and left. After the last teacher left and the front gate was locked, Anthony made his way back to his classroom, which Snapper had left, as usual, unlocked.
Shutting the door behind him, Anthony sat at the desk and pulled something from his pocket. A small razor blade he'd swiped from the science lab. He placed the blade on the desk before taking a sheet of paper and a pen from his bag.
Staring at the three items assembled on the desk, Anthony very nearly lost it, almost broke down into tears. Breathing in short, ragged gasps, he squeezed his eyes shut, slowly regaining his composure.
His trembling hands grasped the pen and, swallowing the lump in his throat, he took the paper and began to write.
"Linda, I know now that I'm not good enough for you, and for that I apologise. I honestly hope that you are able to find someone who makes you happy, although I still find myself wishing that someone could be me. Once again, I'm sorry.
I'll always love you,
The letter finished, Anthony briefly read over it, folded it, and scrawled "Linda" on the front.
Absently, he checked his watch. 8:30 pm. Exactly seventy-two hours since he'd first made the decision to end it all.
Knew that I could never be without you now
Didn't have to let me go
Only had to let me know
Fly away . . .
Any way for me to get away from you
Now I'll have to let you go
Didn't want to let you go
With only one thing left to do, Anthony rose from his seat, grasping the razor blade. The blade glinted in the dim fluorescent lights of the classroom as Anthony held it up to his left wrist and pushed.
The blade only grazed his skin the first time, rather than slicing through. Anthony felt tears stinging in his eyes, but it wasn't from the pain caused by the blade. He couldn't help but wonder how Linda would react upon finding him tomorrow.
Squashing the thought to the back of his mind, Anthony pushed down on the blade once again, slashing it across his wrist. This time it broke the skin, severing the arteries.
His grief and pain began to leave him almost immediately, mingled with the blood flowing from his wrist. He sank to the ground as his strength slowly ebbed away, but for the first time he could remember, Anthony felt completely at peace. His pain was now completely gone, and he smiled.
Never knew that I would look upon your face
Maybe in another place
I will fly, I will fly away
Any way for me to find a way to you
There is nothing I won't do
I will fly, I will fly . . .
And that's how an utterly devastated and heartbroken Linda found Anthony the next morning: sprawled on the ground in a pool of blood, eyes closed, and a contented smile upon his face.
It's a lovely day today,
so why do I feel strange?
Everything around me has changed . . .