returns to Kurama's apartment only to find that there is nothing to
eat! Starving and home alone, he finds a cookbook on how to make
Cake. Will our favorite fire demon succeed? Or will something go
horribly wrong? One-shot fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or anything related to it. I just love humor and if that includes YYH, I'm there! Plus I like to write and have an evil imagination and that's never a good combo.
"Cooking To The Extreme"
He waited for Kurama to drive away before unlocking the fox's front door and creeping inside. Shutting the door, he made his way towards the kitchen.
Ever since the "Evil Cake Of Doom" incident Kurama has allowed Hiei to still come by and use his kitchen if he ever got hungry. But the oven had been bolted shut and all cookbooks were confiscated. The fire demon knew that they were at Kuwabara's house, but the thought of having to go over their sickened him. Plus the fact that Shizuru could fight better then Yusuke and still be related to Kuwabara was frightening enough.
Then he remembered what Yusuke had said just a few days ago. Something about putting cheese and chips together to create something called Nachos.
He got out a plate and soon found a large bag of chips. Piling all the contents onto the small plate he proceeded towards the refrigerator to find cheese.
"Cheese, cheese. Where are you you stupid ningen food?" He muttered to himself before he saw the bag of shredded cheese. Leaning forward he grabbed the bag only to find one problem: it was stuck between two large jugs of orange juice.
Determined to get his 'prey' and satisfy his rumbling stomach Hiei gave one last pull only to go wide eyed and duck as fast as he can. The two jugs catapulted out of the fridge, one brushing the top of Hiei's hair and exploded against the wall behind him. Glaring at the offending mess he slammed the door close and walked back to his plate of chips.
After dumping the whole thing of cheese onto the tower he grabbed the plate and pushed it roughly into the microwave, hitting random buttons and hit "Start".
Time set: 10 minutes, 29 seconds.
So the little Jaganshi sat around the apartment waiting for the food to cook. He didn't know when Kurama would be home but knowing him it would be another hour or so.
In a blur Hiei was at the microwave and wrenching the door open, smells of melted cheese drafted out and filled the room. He grinned, showing his large canines and licked his lips. Grabbing the plate he took it out and...
"HOT!" Being a fire demon it didn't actually burn him, but it did surprise him beyond reckoning. The plate miraculously lands ok, without a chip out of place to boot. Hiei blew hard on his hand a few times, waving it up and down.
He froze, looking at the source of the noise.
The melted cheese on his nachos was still hot and bubbling, giving off odd sounds every few seconds.
Blurp. Hiei's eye twitched. Blurp, twitch, blurp, twitch. Then he did the first thing that came to his mind. He started beating the crap out of the tower of nachos with his katana.
"Evil cheese demon!" WACK
"I finally get some food cooked without getting hurt or killed..." WHAP
"And you possess the food and mock ME!" WACK WHAP CRASH.
"Hiei what are you doing?!" A shout came from the kitchen doorway. Hiei froze, katana raised above his head and looked over. Yusuke, Kuwabara & Kurama stood wide-eyed at the door. That's when he finally noticed all the bits of cheese and chips splattered onto the walls and ceiling in the kitchen.
"We demand an explanation Hiei." Kurama said, more in shock then rage. So Hiei explained...the same rate that he can run.
"Followed Yusuke's advice, made nachos, plate was hot, took by surprise, cheese demon possessed my food so I'm going to kill it." Of course, the others only got bits of this because of the speed rate he was talking at.
The spirit detective, fox demon & fire demon turned to the source of the sound: a piece of bubbling cheese had landed in Kuwabara's hair.
"I shall defeat thou evil cheese demon and thy's really stupid human servant! For I am no longer Hiei! Ye shall now address me as...as...Hiei The Cheese Demon Slayer Of The Holy Cake Brigade!" Hiei said, pointing a finger at Kuwabara before crashing headlong into him. The other two could only watch in unbelievable wide-eyes as the two crashed through Kurama's door ("MY DOOR!") and proceeded to crash down the many flights of stairs that led up the 200 something floor apartment.
"So...who's going to rescue Kuwabara from Hiei?" Yusuke asked slowly only to hear Hiei's faint cry of "My name is Hiei The Cheese Demon Slayer Of The Holy Cake Brigade!"
"...want some nachos?" Kurama said, looking at the detective.
"Sure." And the two went back inside for some nachos, only to slip on orange juice and crash into the far wall.
"Hiei...." Kurama growled.
"HIEI THE CHEESE DEMON SLAYER OF THE HOLY CAKE BRIGADE!"