Summary: While in prison, Faith begins to experience problems of the mystical variety that seem to indicate that her past choices may not have been her own. Can she be fixed? Does Buffy hold the key? Or will she slowly fall into the void? FUFFY
Rating: R, for language, violence, and adult content. Please don't read if you are offended by bad language and sexual content.
Authors Note: Events are basically the same up to the episode "Bad Girls," then it is basically AU. The body swap happened, but Buffy never followed Faith to LA afterwards, and hasn't seen her since (but she does know that Faith is in prison and that Angel keeps in touch with her). Some spoilers through Season 6 of Buffy and Season 5 of Angel. I'll fill you in on the happenings as we go.
Disclaimer: All characters, etc, belong to Joss, M.E., Fox, and whoever else. I just needed to borrow them for awhile. No harm or copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: I'd appreciate it. Feel free to give me pointers or ideas. (
Chapter One -- Part of the System
Faith wasn't exactly sure how she was feeling when she first went to prison. A million thoughts were going through her mind all at once.
Part of her was pissed off. She went to LA to escape the trouble she had in Sunnydale. Sure, she wreaked a little havoc once she had got there, but then Angel had gotten through to her. He offered his help and said that he would see her through to the end, knowing from his own personal experience that the road to redemption is a rocky (and lonely) path. With the arrival of the Watcher's Council goons and the ever-growing police threat, she knew that her days were numbered. After an evening of heightened emotions and close calls, she turned herself into the police and was sent to prison, 25 years to life. 'Hey Angel, thanks for your help, you punk.' No, that's not exactly fair. After all, Angel had tried to help her, like a true friend. He couldn't help the fact that her past had finally caught up with her. It was her own damned fault.
On the other hand, part of her was relieved. Sure, she was a Slayer and could escape if she really wanted to. But she had no intentions of leaving. She didn't have to run this time. She could take advantage of her time in prison and confront the darkness and demons that had haunted her for so long. She wanted to redeem herself, and if that meant rotting in prison, then so be it. Now, she had nothing but time on her hands.
Still, something was nagging in the back of her mind. She had let so many people down. She had lied. She had stolen things. She had hurt many people, and not just physically. She toyed with peoples' minds, broke them down and made them miserable, and just when they thought they were as low as they could get, she broke them just a little bit more. And she liked it. Her time in prison could be used to confront her demons, but still, how was she going to make amends with those that she had wronged? How could she redeem herself to all of the people that she had hurt if she was sitting in a jail cell?
Six months had gone by, and Faith continued to think about it. She decided that in order to break the ice, she would write a couple of letters.
'Let's see, who do I need to apologize to?' The first and most obvious person was Buffy.
Buffy had been the one person who had really tried to make her feel like she belonged, and Faith had taken total advantage of her. She was so jealous of Buffy, and she betrayed her at the first opportunity. She had done the most horrible things to her family and friends. How could she apologize for that? 'Hey B, I'm sorry that I picked the Mayor over you. Oh, and that whole body-swap and sleeping with your boyfriend thing? Total mistake. My bad! Hope you can forgive.' Yeah right.
Okay. So this might be harder than she thought. But she needed to start somewhere. 'Baby steps, right?'
While in her cell, Faith pulled out a spiral notebook and a pen, and began to make a list. Buffy was at the very top of the list, but Faith wanted to wait on writing her letter, knowing that she had to do some serious thinking about what she wanted to say. Just below Buffy, she added Giles, Mrs. Summers, Willow, and Xander. But, the list didn't stop there. She also had to add Angel, Wesley, Cordelia, and various other people that she had crossed over the last couple of years.
As the list grew, so did Faith's apprehension about writing the letters. 'Maybe this is a stupid idea. How much can a letter possibly help to ease someone's pain?' But Angel had assured her that it would help her in her quest for redemption, even if she wrote the letters and didn't send them. The simple act of getting those things off of her chest would help her in her own journey.
Faith appreciated the visits from Angel. He came to see her whenever he could, which wasn't too often. You know, saving the world and all on a weekly basis kind of limits your time for social visits.
Angel was always kind and caring towards Faith whenever he came to see her. He'd fill her in on the happenings around LA and Sunnydale, and he'd listen to her when she needed to spill. He never judged her, which made it that much easier for Faith to empty her heart out to him. No interruptions, no lectures. Just a shoulder to lean on, and an ear to listen.