Chapter 5

Hermione stayed in her cubical all day, trying her hardest to avoid Harry. She even turned down Ron's usual invitation to lunch with him and Harry. She did everything possible to keep from him. She did want to be around him, but she knew things would be weird for them...at least until she told him the truth. That was her problem though...she didn't know how. After throwing him out like that she felt like a horrible person. She wasn't even sure if Harry would forgive her for it. Her worst fear though was breaking the news the John. He was going to be furious. The last thing she wanted was for him to be mad at her, even though thats was probably going to be the case.

Hermione sighed when six o'clock came around. She left her cubicle, not saying a word to anyone and made her way home. She decided today would be a good day to take the underground, giving her more time to think things over before she rushed into confrontation with John. This was going to be the absolute worst day of her life.

When she got off the train, she walked the last two blocks to her flat and stopped just outside when she saw John's car in the driveway. Putting on her best smile she walked into the house ready to face him.

"John." She called as she closed the door behind her. "I'm home honey."

"Up here." John's voice came from her room upstairs.

Hermione threw her things on the couch as she passed and went to join him upstairs. She didn't rush and took her time trying to calm herself down.

"Hey sweety." John said as she entered the room. He quickly strode to her and pulled her in for a hug and kiss. "I've missed you so much."

"I've...missed you too." Hermione said convincingly to him. "I'm so glad your home." She then gave him another kiss and pulled him in for a warm embrace. She buried her face in his shoulder and sighed. John ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head lovingly.

"So am I."

They spent the entire night talking about his trip, about all the work he got finished and the new projects they started. The had dinner alone in Hermione's flat and then cuddled on the couch afterwards. Hermione kept her fake smile on the whole night, hoping he wouldn't catch a glimse of the sadness behind it. When he asked her about her week alone, she told him she worked the whole time and that it was very boring.

The phone rang as they continued their conversation and Hermione vanished into the kitchen to answer it.

"Is everything ok?" Ginny asked.

"That depends how you're asking." Hermione stated.

"You mean you haven't told him yet?"

"No." Hermione said. "I don't have the heart. He seems so happy to be back here with me and I don't want to ruin it for him."

"But you're ruining it for you, Hermione." Draco's voice boomed. "I told you if you didn't do it, I would."

"You won't, Draco. I'll kick you in the arse and punch you like in our third year at Hogwarts. Don't think I won't!" Hermione warned.

"Whatever." Ginny said. "But, Hermione you've got to do it. He needs to know the truth...and so does Harry."

"I know, Ginny, don't you think I know that?" Hermione whispered violently. "I'm not good at these kinds of things. But I'll try. I promise."

"You'd better, Granger." Draco interrupted again.

"Bugger off, Malfoy!" Hermione chimed.

"Will you two break it up!" Ginny squealed. "Go away, Draco."

"Hmph!" He said before hanging up the other line.

"I swear I don't know what to do with him." Ginny sighed.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Gin." Hermione said. "But I better be getting back to John. I'll talk to you later."

"Ok...call me later and tell me how it went." Ginny said. "Good night."

"Night, Gin."

Hermione hung up the phone and trailed back into the living room.

"Who was that?" John inquired.

"Just Ginny." Hermione explained. "Something about meeting up with her tomorrow night."

"Oh." John said thoughtfully. "Well, maybe we should call it a night."

Hermione looked at him expectantly. "Are you sure? You could stay if you'd like."

"But don't you have to work in the morning?"

"Well yes...but that doesn't matter." Hermione insisted. "We could stay up and talk some more."

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I really should get some sleep. It was a long trip. You should get some sleep too." John continued.

Hermione sighed. "Ok...If I must." She leaned over and kissed him lightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said and got up, heading for the door. "I Love you." He said.

Hermione only smiled in reply and he left, closing the door behind him.

"Oh no." She groaned. "This is going to be much harder than I thought."

She got up, turned off all the lights and headed up to bed.

Hermione woke to the phone ringing. She opened her eyes and found that it was still dark out. The clock read 2:14.

"Who in Merlin's name is calling at this hour!" Hermione shreaked. She reached over and picked up the phone.

"Hello." She said a bit agitated.

It was silent for a long time. She could hear breathing on the other end, but they didn't speak.

"Hello." She repeated. "Who is this?"

"Hermione..." Harry said softly.

Hermione's heart almost stopped in her chest. "...Harry..." She whispered. Then her heart started beating faster than ever, as if it would jump right out of her body as she waited for him too speak.

"I...we..." He started but never finished.

"Harry..." She said again. She felt her eyes begin to tear up and burn. He didn't say anything else. "Harry." She repeated. "I can't talk right now."

She went to put down the phone, but he finally spoke.


"Harry I can't." She whispered. The tears began to fall in streams down her face...and without another word, she hung up the phone.

"Hermione, are you ok?" She jumped at the sound of John's voice. He stood in the dark doorway of her room, looking at her with worry etched on his face.

"John..." She began. "What are you doing here?"

He held up his briefcase as he crossed the room and kneeled in front of her. "I forgot this. I didn't mean to startle you, but...why are you crying. Who was on the phone?"

She frowned slightly and shook her head. "No one. It doesn't matter."

"Yes Hermione, it does. It does matter. Now tell me what's bothering you." He said, pulling her into his embrace.

She cried into his neck. She cried like she had wanted to cry all night. "I...c-can't." she suttered. "I'm...horrible."

"No, Hermione. You're not horrible." He soothed. "Just tell me what's wrong." He stroked her hair trying to calm her, but she continued to cry.

"You're going to hate me." She said as she pulled away to look at him.

John frowned slightly. "I'll never hate you, love. Just tell me what it is. You know you can tell me anything."

She only looked at him for a while, looking for the right words...but there wasn't any right words to explain what she had done. So she decided to tell him the truth.

"There's only one way to tell it." She whispered.

He frowned again. "It's ok...whatever it is...just tell me."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. Harry's image swam through her mind as more tears fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Was the first thing she said.

"For what?"

She looked in his eyes as she spoke. "For...for...falling in love with someone else."

He raised his eyesbrows in a frown. He thought for a while, watching her actions before he spoke. "It's Harry, isn't it?"

Hermione almost gasped at his words and more tears streamed down her face. "I'm sorry." Was all she could say.

"You don't have to be sorry." He said comfortingly. "I've known it all along."


He smiled lightly. "You can't hide love Hermione. Not even you." He explained. "And your love for Harry is so...so alive in you, its hard to compare to any other love. It was only a matter of time."


"Don't." He said, putting a finger to her lips. "You don't have to explain."

"No John, I do." She said quietly. "There's more."

"More?" He asked.

"Yes..." She continued. "Things...happened...while you were gone."

He gave her a quizzical look. She didn't speak for a moment and it gave him time to think. He spoke before she had the chance. "You gave yourself to him. Didn't you?"

Her eyes widened. "I'm sorry." She said, shaking her head. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I know you didn't, Hermione." He continued. "But like I said...it was only a matter of time."

He leaned up and kissed her forehead. "I Love you, Hermione. I always will." Then, he left.