Disclaimer: The story lines and characters of Alias do not belong to me. I'm just playing with them ;). Parts of the first three episodes of season three have been used in the beginning of my story, but I didn't think of them. (Unfortunately!)

Author's Note: This is my version of season 3, starting from the moment Sydney wakes up in Hong Kong. It's a bit slow in the beginning, because I do follow the series for a bit. I hope you will bear with me...it does go AU after a while. Cheeky.

Discovering Myself
Part One:

I blinked slowly as I took in the sights around me. I felt so tired. I blinked my eyes again in an effort to stay awake. I vaguely felt the cold hard ground beneath me, but it didn't register in my muddled brain. My head felt like it was filled with cotton wool.

Gradually the muffled sounds around me got louder and feeling returned to my limbs. I don't know how long I lay there, but finally I was able to focus my eyes. I was looking up at a flickering neon sign.

I heard the distant roar of traffic and somewhere close a cat meowed. I felt gritty concrete underneath me and took a deep breath. Then I carefully tried to sit up. I just managed to as the world spun and faded for a moment. Once that had passed, I tried to get to my feet, but I was too weak. My muscles felt like jelly.

I slumped back down to the ground and looked around in the flickering red light. Where was I? It looked like a dingy alley. How the hell did I get here? The last thing my sluggish brain remembered was collapsing after fighting with Allison Doren.


Memories rushed through my mind. The frantic fight with Allison. Will in the bath, looking dead. Vaughn planning our trip away. And then nothing. I had no idea how I had gotten here.

I tried to get up again, and just managed to do it without passing out again. I had to call the CIA. I staggered out of the alleyway and onto a busy street. I felt cold all over. I wrapped my arms around me as my head spun. I looked around in horror at the flashing neon signs. They weren't in English. Where the hell was I?

As I turned and staggered down the street, I tried to meld in with the crowd as best as I could. Absently I listened to the hub of conversation around me and realised I didn't even know what time it was. I guessed from the dark sky and amount of people on the street it was close to midnight.

Words floated over me and I recognised the language. Cantonese. I listened to the conversations, hoping to pick up more information. Like where I was. And when I heard it, I almost stopped dead in my tracks. Hong Kong. I was in Hong Kong.

I finally found a payphone and gratefully banished all the questions from my head. My dad and Vaughn would be worried sick. Not to mention Weiss, Marshall and Dixon. I grabbed the phone and dialled a number that had been burned into my brain. "Dispatch." Said a bored female voice on the other end of the line.

"This is officer 2300844 calling for connection." I said. "Confirmation: looking glass."

"Stand by." Said the woman.

"This is Kendall." Said a familiar male voice.

I felt a rush of relief at the sound of his voice. Everything was going to be alright. "I just woke up in Hong Kong." I blurted out. "I don't know how long I've been here or how I got here."

There was complete silence on the other end. "Hello?" I asked after a minute, hoping Kendall was still there.

"Get to our safe house at Ching Chau Way as quickly as possible. You remember how to get there?" Kendall said, his tone almost harsh.

"Of course I do." I said.

A bad feeling was beginning to curl inside my stomach. What the hell was going on? My instincts told me there was something major going on, and I trusted them.

"I'll make sure they're expecting you." Kendall said.

"Okay." I replied, hanging up the phone.

I felt confused, apprehensive and frustrated. What was going on?
A while later, I looked up at a dingy apartment block. The safehouse. Cautiously, I knocked on the door. An Asian man, appearing to be in his early 30's opened the door. He nodded once and stepped aside to let me enter.

I followed the man up a flight of stairs and into a small room. "Have they said..." I began, my voice rough and hoarse.

I paused for a second and cleared my throat. "Have they said anything about how I got here?" I began again. "Do you know any..."

The man cut me off. "You should wait for information until your contact arrives."

He came to a door and unlocked it. He nodded at me and I walked in. There was a bed in one corner and two chairs opposite it. A lamp stood on the bedside table. The man closed and locked the door behind me with an ominous click. It was all too much for me. I walked over to the bed and collapsed on it. I was asleep within seconds.

I don't know how much later it was when I woke up, but I didn't particularly care. I ran a hand through my hair and noticed absently it was longer than I remembered. I got up and began to pace the room, trying to not think about what all this meant. Waking up in Hong Kong. Kendall seeming surprised to hear from me. My longer hair.

At that, I stopped pacing. What else had changed about me? I ran my hands over my arms and legs, but nothing felt different. That was good, right? I reached for the bottom of the grimy turtleneck I wore, intending to take it off, but what I saw stopped my cold. There was a 3 inch jagged scar just beside my navel. What..? I traced the scar with my fingertip and shivered. What the hell had happened to me?

At that moment, the door opened and I saw Vaughn. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see anyone else in my whole life. I smiled and walked over to him, before throwing my arms around him and holding him tight. Tears slipped down my face as I thought of the ordeal I had been through over the last few hours. But now everything was going to be alright.

But Vaughn was slightly stiff in my arms. I pulled away and looked at him. And then I pushed the thoughts aside. He was probably just worried. "They doubled Francie." I said.

"I know." He replied.

I pulled away as a multitude of questions burst into my mind. "What happened to Will? To Francie? Are they dead?"

"Will's okay."

"What?" I demanded. "How?"

"You..." Vaughn began. Then he looked at me sadly. "Sit down."

I sat down on one of the chairs, a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. Vaughn sat opposite me, but he wouldn't look at me. He seemed at a loss for words and stared at the floor. The feeling of dread grew stronger. "Vaughn?"

"We thought you were dead." He said flatly, still refusing to look at me. "They asked me to come back here to...to explain."

Explain? What the hell was he talking about? Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Come back from what? What are you talking about?" I demanded.

Vaughn finally looked at me, before rubbing his face with his hand. The sad look in his eyes scared me. Then something glinted in the dull light. Something gold. A wedding ring. A wedding ring on Vaughn's left hand.

"Vaughn...why are you wearing that ring?"

The feeling of dread in my stomach grew to gut wrenching terror. I wanted to scream and curl up into a little ball. But I wouldn't. I was stronger than that.

"Syd..." Vaughn began. "Since that night...you were missing. You've been missing for almost two years."

Bloody Hell.

Tears began to slip down my face. The shock, the see-sawing emotions...it was all too much. The tears turned into quiet sobs as Vaughn told his story.

"There was a fire in your apartment." He said softly. "Will survived, but you...they found remains." I heard the pain behind his words and the tears streamed faster. "The DNA was a match. You were dead." He shook his head slightly. "You were dead." He repeated.

"And...you got married?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"I did."

I looked away and tried to stop the tears. I was tough, damn it. Surprises were part of my life. I could handle this.

"They asked me to come to Hong Kong. The Agency...they thought it would be best if you were introduced by someone from your life before." Vaughn said.

"They could have sent my father." I said. "He's CIA, he's from my life before."

And at that moment I needed my father like I hadn't needed him since I was a little girl. I wanted his arms around me. I wanted him to tell me this was all a bad dream that everything was going to be alright.

"I can't answer that. I chose not to stay with the CIA after your death." Vaughn told me.

His answer hit me like a blow to the stomach. Not with the CIA? Then why hadn't they sent my father? He never would have quit the CIA. He would be able to explain everything. I felt a jolt of fear run through me. He never would have left the agency – unless had left trying to find me...with Mom.

"You're not with the Agency?" I echoed to Vaughn, my mind whirling with thoughts of my father.

"No." Vaughn shook his head. "I'm a teacher."

At his words, I stood abruptly and turned away from him. My life was falling apart around my ears. "This is, um...gonna take me a while." I said softly.

"They want me to bring you back." Vaughn told me. "I mean, you can imagine the kind of investigation being called."

And I could. Vaughn stood up and faced me, sympathy and sadness in his eyes. And suddenly everything made sense. This wasn't real. Vaughn wasn't real. This was just some sick and twisted plot by Sloane to get to me. But it wasn't going to work.

"Hell of a way to wake up." I said. "How much time do I have before I have to go?"

Vaughn looked at his watch, and I took my opportunity. "They said they want you back..." his words were cut off when I grabbed the lamp off the bedside table and hit him with it.

The lamp smashed on the side of his head and he slumped to the ground. I wasted no time. I grabbed the lamp cord and looped it around his neck, my knee in the small of his back. "I don't know who the hell you are," I snarled. "But you are not Vaughn you son of a bitch!" My voice rose to a yell and I heard the anger and hatred in my tone. "Tell me who the hell you're working for! Is it Sloane?" I demanded.

Vaughn struggled to get up and managed to dislodge me for a second. But I kept a grip in the cord, before dragging him up and slammed him against the wall. I noted absently that I had grown stronger as I tightened the cord around the bastard's throat.

Vaughn loved me. He would never marry someone else. And I wasn't dead. Allison was and this was just Sloane's sick attempt at revenge. He was trying to break me by taking away everything I'd ever cared about. But it wasn't going to work.

"Tell me you're working for Sloane!" I snarled.

Suddenly I heard someone outside the room. I slammed my elbow into the side of 'Vaughn's' head, knocking him out. He fell to the floor with a dull thud. The door opened and a man in a suit ran in. I kicked one of the chairs at him, my instincts and training taking over. Adrenaline began to pump through my body. I kicked the door shut, trying to buy myself some more time and kicked my attacker again. I punched him in the face, breaking his nose, and he dropped to the floor.

I whirled around, searching for a weapon and saw 'Vaughn' getting to his feet. I kicked him in the stomach, sending him back to the ground. I burst out of the room and began sprinting down the corridor beyond. I had to get out of here.

I burst out and found myself in a dark alleyway. And cornered by two men in suits. I looked at them and the guns in their hands, as they looked at me. I dropped down onto one knee, my hands in the air. Surrendering. Or at least appearing to. One of the men holstered his gun and went to grab my wrists. Big mistake. Did they really think I would give up that easily?

I grabbed the man and shoved him into his partner. I looked around and the alley for a weapon, but the men ran forward, forcing me to concentrate on them. I looked for guns, and was surprised to see they weren't holding them anymore. Interesting. That meant they had been told to take me alive. I would use that to my advantage.

The first man punched me, but I blocked easily, sending him reeling with a roundhouse kick to the head. The other darted in with a punch-kick combination. I blocked both, before spinning away and giving him an elbow to the face then swept his legs out from under him. The adrenaline surging through my blood made me stronger and faster. I was already the better fighter, and even against two of them I was still going to win.

The first man attacked me again, this time with two round punches. I avoided the first and ducked under the second, coming up and breaking his arm in a quick move. The man cried out in pain and I kicked out his knee. He sank heavily to the dirty concrete of the alleyway. I knocked him out with a carefully placed elbow to the back of the head as I felt a foot connect with my back.

I staggered forward and spun, catching the second kick in my hands and giving the leg a savage twist. The man grunted in pain and I gave him a kick to the gut, followed by two punches to the face. He blocked the second punch and lashed out with one of his own. I ducked under it, grabbing him around the back of the neck and slammed him against the wall. He dropped to the ground, unconscious.

Before I could do anything else, I heard a shot and felt a sharp pain in my right shoulder. I reached for it and turned, seeing the red feathered dart sticking out from my skin...and Vaughn, his dart gun still aimed at me.

A wave of dizziness washed over me as he approached. The world grew fuzzy. "Don't...don't..." I began, but I couldn't get my mouth to work.

I sank to my knees and winced as my head began to spin. I gritted my teeth. I had to stay awake. I had to...

Vaguely I heard hurried footsteps and the sound of a gun hitting the concrete as I collapsed. Arms grabbed me and the world went black.