Disclaimer: Um, the wackiness is ours, the characters, most certainly not.
Author's Note: This idea came up over IM with a friend, and was quickly put into action. Although note passing is by no means a new and innovative idea, we still found it hilarious. So, I thought, why not just post it. Written with the esteemed rosencrantz.
Chapter One: Seventh year, end of September, correspondence between James Potter and Lily Evans during a Prefect's meeting
slid over to James, written on the top of the Meeting Agenda sheet: Stop fidgeting. We have to look professional.
noted next to bullet on new school choir idea and ungraciously shoved back to Lily: Am only being charming self. Charming self needs not look professional, only charming.
scribbled between reminders to not tell house elves to carry out your dirty work and the Forbidden Forest is off limits. Really.: Could you possibly be any more smug? Ruffling your hair and grinning at the girls so that they decide not to waste your time issuing complaints is not charming.
half written over list of new outlawed Zonko's products: Am only grinning at the girls because I like to spread happiness, really. Their not issuing complaints is their own business. And my head itched.
smashed into the corner next to next meeting's date: Don't give me that. Your hair care products would never allow a scalp such as yours to itch.
on fresh expanse of the back of the paper: How do you know anything about my hair care? You've been sneaking looks at my dorm, have you? Ooh, against the rules and naughty. You do want me.
underneath James's comment: As much as I want to see Filch snogging his cat. The entire school knows about your hair care, oh wonderfully Mussed One. Although I must admit, am impressed with your choice of shampoo.
scratched out quickly & messily: I tested many brands and settled on only the best. Am sure you use only the best on your lovely hair, as it deserves. PS: Had no idea you were into bestiality. Appalling, yet kinky.
halfway finished: Am running low on shampoo actually, if you'd like
scribbled in corner, shoved under table to hide from prying eyes, then passed under table: If I'd like to wash your hair? Buy you more? Would do anything for you, red-haired vixen.
slipped into James's pocket, while Lily is pretending to pay attention to fifth year Hufflepuff: Is your shampoo gender safe? That is to say, could a female use it safely and without worrying that she's using a male's product?
passed to Lily while pretending to stretch: There's a difference when it comes to shampoo? I had no idea. You must tutor me privately in the secret ways of shampoo as I am obviously vastly undereducated.
left on top of James's agenda when Lily takes his quill: Well, a boy can't go around with rose scented hair, now can he? And a girl can't go around smelling like a boy unless this smell happens to be on a sweater or scarf borrowed from him.
pushed halfway to Lily as if looking under other papers: The shampoo would in fact be borrowed, so therefore appropriate. Though I see that you wouldn't want just anyone to know of our shared shampoo, in case they believe we share much more than that like I'd like them to think. It smells like. Um. I can't smell my own hair right now. You smell it.
is passed behind back while standing in front of James, as new trust game is explained: Smell your hair? In the middle of a meeting? p.s. Any suggestions on how to make it look like an accident?
deliberated over while trust game starts with fifth year prefects, tucked into Lily's hand: Volunteer to stand behind me and catch me, then help me up and boom, there's your chance. Plus then you don't have to worry about me catching you and feeling you up. Not that I would. I respect you. It's just something you might think I might do, that's all.
dropped down the back of James's shirt a few minutes after impressive display of catching and discreet hair smelling: Methinks he doth protest too much. That shampoo is appropriately female. May I borrow some?
folded and passed in guise of origami frog hopping along table, caught deftly by Lily with a faux-reproachful look: I was simply confused and starved as always for your attention. Will bring some down for you as soon as we're back in the dorms. Unless you'd like to come up and get it?
tucked in between right arm on James's glasses and sideburn: Oh yes, I'd love to go romping into the boy's dormitory late at night, completely forsaking school policy. Am not concerned with things like position or rules that I enforce. Meeting in the common room will work just fine.
slid boringly across table under Lily's hands: Didn't have to be late at night. Fine, yes, common room. Tonight, then?
wrapped around end of James's borrowed quill: Yes, right after the meeting. I'd like to get clean before the day is up.
stuck around Lily's wrist with a Stickus spell: Done deal. Now we are Shampoo Mates and have a special bond. 3
handed over during final handshake: That is much more disturbing than it should be. Kindly refrain from hearts in the future. Thank you.
When James brings the bottle of shampoo to where Lily is waiting in her girlish splendor, he hands her a small box of Honeydukes' chocolate and grins hopefully. "No hearts!" he says.
"No extra calories either," she replies regretfully, taking the shampoo, but gently handing the box of chocolate back.