Explain Me!

By Dancing Doll

'Explain Me!' Special: Youko's Guide to Mating!

Greetings, human comrade! Here am I, presenting you all stuttering males an infallible, step-by-step guide to the mysterious and subtle ways of how to get full satisfaction before lunch-time-

Hmm, but that's if you're incredibly sexy and able to irradiate an irresistible sexual poison, like me...

Well, by dinner-time, then.

-And to all females reading this, you have either two choices!

1: Keep reading in order to know what to expect from a fully-trained lover of the Youko Kurama Style.

2: Give up on these amateurs and call me.

Now, let the guide begin!

Step 1

Choose a target!

Unless you want some lonely pleasure, you must have a girl (or boy, if you're gay) in your sights. However, do get real and pick one according to your level.

E.g.: Someone as hot and stern as YOUNG Genkai would never give a pimple-covered, boring and ugly guy like Yu Kaitou a first look, let alone have sex with him.

Youko Kurama would like to advertise his another self's, Shuuichi Minamino, autobiography and guide to the wonders of masturbation 'Hot, Lusty and Virgin: Why Having a Youkai Alter-Ego can ruin Your Life'

Step 2

Check for any protective sibling/parent/relative/rival! (In no specific order)

Obviously, you don't want your mate's furious brother (who has the power to invoke flames from Makai itself) to see you courting his sister shamelessly! Check to see if they're around and you'll face these two most probable situations:

1: They're.

Suggestion: Choose another one, man.

2: They aren't.

Suggestion: Go for it, but make sure you have an escape route just in case.

Youko Kurama would also like to advertise his friend Hiei's 'Loving Brother's Guide to Protect Sweet, oh-so Innocent Sisters from Gangsters, Oafs, Foxes & Co.'

Step 3

Approach!

Duh. Talk to her.

Suggestions:

"Hey!"

"Hi!"

"How YOU doing?"

"Wanna get laid?"

ATTENTION!

Suggestion n.3 will only work if the girl in question is as innocent as Yukina! Girls like Keiko will slap you senselessly! Women like Shizuru and Genkai will KILL you!

Step 4

Win Her!

Now you've got to pull a Don Juan or Casablanca-

D.D.: Casanova.

- Ignore the voices - Casablanca on her! Say some crap among the lines of 'Ooooh, you're so pretty! I luv-luv ya! Have a rose! No, have two! Ooooh, I so can't live without ya! I need ya! I need ya NOW!'. She might buy it, she might not.

Youko Kurama would like to explain he never had to work really hard to win the ladies. Reactions may vary according to your level of hotness.

Step 5

Find a location!

Take her to your place, go to a motel, find a dark alley, get in the nearest public restroom...Anything goes, man, if she's as horny as you. Most females tend not to like the second option. As for the third and fourth, they downright hate it.

Youko Kurama would like to say his choice-with-bed is a motel. If you're in for just a quickie, you will be able to leave while she sleeps. If you did it in your house, she'll just smash your furniture in return to your coldness.

Step 6

Set a mood!

Candles, music, naughty things whispered on her ear or just smelling good can do wonders to get your faster to the point of pleasure! Make sure you took a bath and brushed your teeth and she'll be more than happy!

Youko Kurama would like to reinforce the importance of being clean. BE CLEAN, DAMNIT!

Step 7

Do the preliminaries!

Girls are hard to please, that's a universal truth. Not only they take longer to excite (sometimes), take longer to climax (sometimes), they want sex to last longer than a three-minute song (always)! So, knowing that most of you would be too nervous to come up with anything on your own, I've developed a script!

1- Kiss

2- CENSORED

3- CENSORED

4- CENSORED

5- CENSORED

6- CENSORED

7- CENSORED

8- MOST CENSORED!

9- MOST CENSORED!

10- MOST CENSORED!

11- Kiss

Since there are most surely small kids reading this without their parents knowing, the authoress chose not to clarify the script. If you know your stuff, you can imagine what has been censored.

Step 8

Ask!

Ask for permission to enter. This will gave her the (wrong, since you're reading this) impression that you're a nice, sensitive guy. Also, if you got lucky and are banging a virgin, you need to give her some warning. Say things like:

"Are you ready?"

"It's now."

"I'm going to enter you."

"I'll make you mine!"

"Let's become one!"

Never, EVER ask her "Are you sure?"! What if she says no!

Youko Kurama would like to clarify that if a lady ever told him she wanted to stop, no matter how wanton he could be, he would stop! Rape is a vile and low thing.

Step 9

Ohohohoho!

Ohohohoho!

Step 10

Finale!

Now, this step depends of where you are! If you did the act on a bed, turn around and sleep! If you did it hidden on a public space, leave and go boast with your friends!

Youko Kurama would like to explain that if you really like the girl and want more than just a quickie, you shouldn't do ANYTHING he taught! Wait for Kuwabara's 'Guide to Find Your True Love' to be released!

--

So, what did you think, Shuuichi?

"You...Helpless...Old...Pervert..."

The End

Like I'd let you all alone that easily! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

D.D.: ...I have too much free-time...

D.D.'s mom: Why don't you study, then?

D.D.: Nah.