Disclaimer: Ok, so I don't own any of the characters in Will & Grace and I don't claim to, although it would be nice.
A/N: This is my first Will & Grace fic so please be gentle with me. Although constructive criticism is welcome. Also this is a Jack/Karen fic (even if it isn't a huge romance-y one) so you are warned, here and in the summary. If you don't like the idea of Karen or Jack having any kind of feelings for each other I wouldn't read any further.
So on with the story. Hope you enjoy.
She was sitting at her desk 'working', when he flounced through the open door. The sarcastic remarks had readied themselves on her tongue, before he even opened his mouth. She had to smile at his excited face as he bounced around the office, the words leaving his mouth faster than they could enter her ears.
She smiled, nodded and occasionally giggled when she felt it was expected, never really knowing with what she was agreeing to. Her mind was elsewhere as usual. Unconsciously she moved to the coffee maker and poured herself a martini, still nodding in time to Jack's one-sided conversation. Seating herself back at her desk, her eyes wandered to his hair as it flapped around on his head. She loved it when his hair was long. She loved how it felt when she ran her fingers through it while they touched each other inappropriately. She moved her gaze to his eyes, and for a moment she couldn't help the jealousy she felt, when she found his eyes to be focused on Grace and not her. Mentally shaking the feeling away, she continued to look into his eyes, glad that the absence of his gaze allowed her to watch him without having to make snappy excuses when she stared too long.
What was it they said? Eyes are the windows to the soul. That was definitely true in Jack's case. One look in his eyes and she knew exactly what he felt, needed and wanted, even if she didn't let on that she knew. Luckily her own eyes weren't windows, or perhaps they were but the curtains where drawn, either way she was thankful that no one saw into her soul. In fact, thinking about it, she doubted many people believed she even had a soul, at least not after selling it to the devil for another bottle of tequila. Well, that was what she wanted them to think after all. If she didn't have feelings, then no one could hurt them.
Making other people believe it helped make it seem true. As she watched Jack approach her, she remembered that she did have feelings, strong feelings that were so well hidden even she had lost them for a while.
When she thought about it, Jack was the only person she knew that could bring these feelings out from their hiding place in her heart. Oh yeh, she had one of those too, contrary to popular belief. And it was beating over time as she felt his arms sneak around her waist, and his hands rest on her stomach.
"I love you"; he whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine and pain through her heart. It was an innocent remark from him and he didn't know how much she wished for it to mean more.
As she replied in kind, her heart screamed at him to know that she meant more than just an act of friendship. At the same time her mind screamed back reminding her of the reality of his sexuality as he sat on the desk in front of her and described his latest boyfriend to her. While her heart and mind battled within her, she gulped down the remainder of her drink, smiling as it had the desired affect of dulling the voices inside. They were all right about one thing; she did drink and pop pills to escape, not just to escape reality, but to escape herself.
Thinking her smile was caused by his words, Jack jumped up to hug her and show her how glad he was that she was happy for him. Well she was happy for him. Sort of. She wanted him to be happy, she just couldn't help wishing she were the one to make that happen.
Breathing in his scent while he gripped her tight, she repeated her daily mantra;
'He's here. He's queer. Get used to it!'
It may be cold, but it was the only way to get through to herself that it was never going to happen. Handing him her platinum card so he could buy a new outfit for his date that night, she watched him kiss her on the forehead and then slip out of the office, the door making an empty thud as it closed behind him.
In her mind she felt a single tear slide down her cheek, outwardly nothing showed. Her emotional mask was far too good; to well perfected to crack like that.
Instead she poured herself another drink; the liquid disappearing down her throat, taking with it her recent thoughts. Flicking through her magazine, she half listened to Grace complain about a client's bad taste as she allowed her mind to fill with thoughts of designer clothes and where her next drink was coming from, forming a cloud in her head that once again hid the thoughts and feelings no one would ever know she had.
Thanks for reading, please review and tell me what you think, I usually write longer, more romance filled stories but this idea just sorta wouldn't go away, even though I do think that Karen and Jack should be together. Please tell me what you think.
- Linds -