Fic Off

Chapter One: New Year, New Mayhem

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any mentioned products.

Summary: A New Year's Eve party at the Kaiba Mansion gets completely out of hand. One hour challenge fic with required sentences and scenes of DOOM! Complete randomness!

Warning: Rated for crude humor.



1) I'm a pretty pony! Clipity clop!

2) The label says 'Caution: hot' for a reason.

3) I'm not drunk! (Hiccup) Isn't this apple cider?

4) I bent her over and spanked her.


1) Someone injured by fireworks.

2) Karaoke singing.


It's New Year's eve, and Seto Kaiba--after much convincing from Mokuba--has decided to throw a New Year's party in his spacious mansion. The invitations have been sent out to the few guests, and the pricy caterers are scurrying around with large trays of varying delicacies.

Mokuba is trying to blow up one hundred balloons all by his lonesome. Placing a bright pink, half-filled balloon on the ground, Mokuba took a breather, "Number ten."

Seto raised an eyebrow at the raven-haired boy, "Only ten? Ninety to go." He chuckled at Mokuba's indignant look.

"I can count myself, donut lady." Mokuba retorted.

"Donut lady?" Seto blinked, completely baffled.

The boy waved his hand at his elder brother, "Long story. You wouldn't get it, you have no sense of humor." He tossed two rolls of red and blue streamers at Seto, "Help decorate."

Seto saluted Mokuba crookedly, "Yes, sir." He received a well-aimed pillow to his head before he left the room.

Mokuba looked sadly at his meager pile of deflating balloons, sighing. "I need help." He spotted Seto's small silver cellphone and, grinning mischievously, he began to dial. "Hello? Hey, it's Mokuba. I wanted to invite you all to a New Year's party. No, it's tomorrow, January second. Of course it's tonight." He laughed, "Can you all come over now? I could use your help with the decorations. Yea, knock on the window of my room." he smiled devilishly, "I want to see Seto's face when his favorite people in the world arrive at the party. Okay, bye." He snapped the cellphone closed, laughing to himself.


A wild knocking on the window startled Mokuba while he continued blowing up balloons. With a quick look down the second floor hallway to make sure Seto wasn't around, Mokuba opened the window, allowing five young girls to fall into the room in a large pile.

"Ouch, get offa my tail, Spork!" Pan, the medieval-style-clothes- wearing fox demon, yelped, shoving an orange haired squirrel demon dressed in a tank top and jeans.

Spork stuck her tongue out at Pan, "Blame Dicen, she fell on me first!" The squirrel demon jabbed an accusing finger at the dice addicted dog demon with wild black and white hair.

Dicen, busying straightening the wrinkles out of her red 'I love Duke' shirt and blue jeans, shrugged, "Let's just blame Squirrel and Tsuki. They pushed us in the window."

Squirrel, a young squirrel demon with red and black hair and clothing similiar to Spork's, blinked, "Me? I didn't push anyone. Tsuki pushed me because she wanted to get in here to see Seto."

Mokuba stared in alarm at Tsuki, the bishie huntress, white haired wolf demon, as she walked out the door, calling loudly, "Seto! Oh, Seto! Where are you?"

Pan, not wanting to ruin Seto's 'surprise' grabbed Tsuki by one of her multiple fluffy tails, yanking her back into the room, but not before turning her chibi--a result of pulling Tsuki's tails.

Mokuba sighed with relief as Pan restrained the energetic chibi wolf demon. "Seto can't know you guys are here yet. We'll surprise him when the other guests arrive. Until then, let's have a contest."

All five demons cheered quietly.

"Okay, the rules are simple," Mokuba explained, "all you have to do is blow up as many balloons as you can. They have to be full of air, or it doesn't count." He raised his arms above his head, bringing them down quickly, "Go!"

The five girls immediately snatched up piles of mutlicolored, deflated balloons and began filling them with air. Mokuba grinned, relishing his simple victory.


Meanwhile, downstairs, Seto had run out of streamers and now every possible banister, shelf, railing, table and chair had been wrapped in colorful paper. Seto admired his work for a moment, smirking to himself.

A spasmatic ringing of the doorbell brought Seto back to the present realm. With a sigh, Seto headed to the door, "And now Hell begins." He pulled the front doors open to reveal Joey Wheeler, Yugi Motou, Duke Devlin, Ryou Bakura and Serenity Wheeler.

Seto shrugged, "Come in. I have to go find Mokuba." Without a further word, he hurried up the winding stairs in search of his little brother.

Joey whistled in awe as he strolled into the living room, "Damn, how does a guy like dat get so friggin' lucky?" Yugi and Duke shrugged in response.

Serenity, running her fingers over a silver statue of a Blue Eyes White Dragon, looked up as a startled yell sounded from upstairs. "What was that?"

Just then, Seto came stomping downstairs, yelling something about the danger allowing his stalkers into his own home and how it makes restraining orders useless. Mokuba was right behind him, trying hard not to laugh. Before Seto could rant any further, he was knocked down the few remaining steps by a small white blur. Sliding on the marble floor and coming to a halt just inches from the front door, Seto glared at the hyperactive small girl sitting on his chest, singing cheerfully.

"Seto, Seto, I love Seto! Set-Set, sexy, sexy Set-Set!" Tsuki sang happily, bouncing with glee on Seto's stomach.

"Get off me, demon!" Seto shouted, grabbing Tsuki by the back of her shirt and tossing her.

Pan, Spork, Squirrel and Dicen crashed down the stairs, landing in a heap at the bottom. Before anyone could ask if they were all right, they had jumped to their feet.

Squirrel shouted at the top of her lungs, "Let's get this party started!"

Dicen snickered as she raced to the high tech stereo system and started playing loud dance music.

Pan and Spork pulled large bottles of sake from God-knows-where and began spiking all the drinks. Joey, liking the idea of getting drunk off sake, immediately began downing as many cups as he could.

Ryou and Yugi, the quiet hikaris everyone thought they were, started up the karaoke machine, singing uproarously to Pink's song "Let's Get This Party Started".

Mokuba cheered happily as he danced with Dicen. Duke began brewing cups of coffee to help sober up Joey later.

Seto, while trying to unlatch Tsuki from his leg, stared in shock at the complete change in everyone's nature.

Pan laughed as she downed a bottle of Sake, throwing an arm over Joey's shoulder, "Guess what!"

The blonde blinked in an attempt to focus his vision, "Huh?"

"I'm a pretty pony! Clipity clop!" Pan giggled hysterically as she danced around, pretending to ride an invisible horse.

Spork, swinging from the chandelier, poured a cup of sake over Seto's head as he tried to unplug the karaoke machine. He received a nasty electrical shock.

Seto glared up at the squirrel demon, "Get down from there! You shouldn't swing from chandeliers, especially when drunk, idiot!"

Spork giggled, waving a finger at Seto, "I'm not drunk!" she hiccuped, "Isn't this apple cider?" She looked at the cup quizzically.

Yugi, having somehow deciding he lost to Ryou in karaoke, gave up his microphone to Serenity as the song 'Freckles' began playing. He opened up his backpack, revealing a large supply of fireworks.

Mokuba cheered as he grabbed the fireworks and a box of matches, "Whee! Fireworks!"

Squirrel raced to the boy's side, "FIRE!!" She snatched up fireworks from Mokuba's hand, lighting a short fused rocket and sending it flying at Joey.

The blonde yelped in pain as the firework burnt his pants, "Hot! Hot! Hot!" he danced around trying to put out the flames.

Duke poured a pot of coffee on Joey, dousing the flames.

The blonde glared at Duke, "Dat's hot too!"

The emerald eyed boy shrugged, "The label says 'caution: hot' for a reason." He flipped his hair, "How else do you suggest I put out the fire."

Joey shrugged, "I helped a girl put out a fire that had started on her skirt once."

Yugi blinked up at the blonde, "How did you do that?"

With a pervish wink, Joey shouted, "I bent her over and spanked her!"

Everyone, including Mokuba--who didn't completely understand the joke- -, laughed at the boisterous announcement.

Seto, having gotten fairly tipsy from the small amount of sake poured on him, began dancing with Serenity on a table, both singing to 'The Reason' on the karaoke machine.

Tsuki, having returned to her normal size and grown bored with--in her opinion--the mild display of mayhem, sat on the couch, watching TV, "Hey! The countdown's starting!" She pointed at the screen as a large number ten appeared.

Squirrel, curled up under the couch with the remainder of the sake, yelled, "Nine!"

"Eight!" chorused Mokuba and Spork, both now seated on the chandelier.

"Seven!" Duke, downing cups of coffee, exclaimed cheerfully.

"Six!" Yugi shouted as he lit more fireworks.

"Five!" Dicen hollered from atop the stereo.

"Four!" Pan yelled as she rode a broom in circles, spanking it like a horse.

"Three!" Serenity giggled, watching the screen.

"Two!" Ryou yelled into the microphone.

"One!" Seto said as he drank from a cup of sake.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone chorused; fireworks exploding everywhere, balloons raining down from Heaven-knows-where, and sake and wine spilling on everything.

Spork, waving a bottle of sake, fell off the chandelier, "What a party!"

===========================Zeh end!

A/N: I did this as a "Fic Off" (Lol...fic off...) with my sister. The qualifications were a few sentences, two scenes, and it had to be done in an hour. Read my sister's under the pen name "Sango5", it's titled "Fic Off". XP I hope you liked it, please review!!!