Fic-Off

Summary: The YGO crew, during their Technical Theatre class, has been ordered to clean out the 'C' train. Is it humanly possible for them to survive the prop deathtrap?

Disclaimer: In case you haven't noticed, I ain't got the money to own ANY anime or manga, I borrow everything from my sister's rich best friend, the Lord of Caffeine, Coffey-san!

Warning: Tea bashing, minor Yugi bashing, evil turtles

Sentences

1) Have you tried not being a mutant?

2) Dance, dance on the concrete!

3) If God was a cat, would you run him over?

4) The wood's too big, I can't get it out! Ugghhhh!!!!

Scenes

1) Someone's stuck inside a barrel and they're suffocating.

2) A giant turtle has latched onto someone's face.

Chapter 4: Insert Nifty Chapter Title Here

The school bell rang shrilly, signaling all Domino High students to hurry to class. Joey Wheeler was one such student. He was almost completely out of breath when he finally reached his Technical Theatre class five minutes later.

"Glad you could join us, Mr. Wheeler," the teacher drawled, glaring at the blonde over his glasses.

Joey sweatdropped, "Sorry 'bout that Mr. Bombadil, got sidetracked." He quickly slipped into his seat, conveniently placed beside his best friend, Yugi and inconveniently placed beside his worst enemy, Seto Kaiba.

Yugi, violet eyes shining with hidden amusement, smiled at Joey, "What sidetracked you, Joey?"

"The cheerleading squad captain's underwear," Seto drawled, a smirk on his face.

Joey snorted, "Not likely, seeing as you're the captain of the cheer squad!"

Seto blinked, slightly surprised at the mutt's unusually quick retort. "Silence, mutant," was his only response.

"I ain't a mutant, moneybags!" Joey snapped.

"How do you know? Have you ever tried not being a mutant?" Seto replied, pausing for a moment, "If you haven't, than you can't say you aren't a mutant."

Every student within hearing range fell silent as they attempted to figure out the CEO's logic; Joey struggling horribly. Thankfully, Mr. Bombadil saved the class from too much of a headache.

"Attention class," the teacher announced, "as you know, our prop, costume and set rooms are in horrible disarray. They must be organized, so I am assigning groups to each section." A few groans followed the statement, every student dreading being assigned to the 'C' train, aka, the Death Trap.

The unlucky five to be assigned the Death Trap were none other Yugi, Joey, Tea, Duke and Seto. Reluctantly, the five walked the short distance to the large metallic bin holding the huge pieces of sets from previous school plays.

Tea and Duke were deep in conversation about religion. "If God was a cat, would you run him over?" Tea asked the dice gamer.

Duke paused, a frown on his face, "No. But if he were a squirrel...that's a different story."

"Poor little squirrel!" Tea gasped, moving away from Duke with a disgusted look on her face. But when she moved away, she walked right into the 'C' train door, left wide open. Due to the collision of girl and door, a large turtle prop was knocked off the roof of the 'C' train.

The turtle landed on unsuspecting Yugi's face, startling the short boy. "Wah! Help! An evil giant turtle is trying to steal my face!" He raced in circles, arms waving wildly as he tried to unlatch the prop.

Doing his best to control his laughter, Seto grabbed a large piece of wood. Not even bothering to aim properly, he swung the hunk of prop like a baseball bat, successfully knocking the turtle off Yugi's face.

Falling to his knees, Yugi smiled gratefully at Seto, "Thanks, Kaiba! You saved me!"

Seto rolled his eyes, "Moron, it was just a prop." He turned away from the wild-haired midget and entered the 'C' train. A few seconds later he emerged with a large rifle in his hands and a sinister smirk on his face. "Hey, Wheeler!"

Joey turned around to face the CEO and came face to barrel with the gun. Yelping, he jumped backwards, "What da Hell are ya doin' with a gun, Kaiba!?"

Seto half-smiled, one finger on the trigger, "Time to dance, mutt!" He aimed the rifle at Joey's feet.

Joey immediately hopped out of the cross-hairs sight, "Are you nuts, Kaiba!?"

"Dance, dance on the concrete! Unless you have a death wish!" Seto demanded, again adjusting his aim to focus on Joey's shoes.

"All right, all right, just don't shoot me!" Joey whined, doing a poor attempt at an Irish jig. As he danced, slowly moving away from Seto, he was unaware of the 'C' train behind him. With a startled yelp, the blonde tumbled backwards into the 'C' train, managing to get himself lodged upside-down in a wooden barrel.

"Joey!" Yugi gasped, hurrying to the struggling teen's side, "are you all right?"

Joey, his voice muffled from the barrel, yelled "Help! I can't breathe!" He kicked his legs frantically in an attempt to tip over the barrel.

Duke, shaking his head in frustration, pushed the barrel over and freed the blonde. "You couldn't suffocate in there, there're too many holes in it!"

Joey laughed nervously, "Eh heh, I guess I just sorta panicked."

Tea, hands on her hips, glared at Seto, "It wouldn't have happened in the first place if you hadn't tried to kill Joey with that gun!"

Seto sighed, striking the rifle against the 'C' train door and watching as it broke in half. "Idiots! It's a damn prop! Wasn't that obvious? The 'C' train does hold props, after all."

All four remained silent, wondering why they hadn't thought of that.

"Can we just get back to work?" Duke asked, in hopes of putting their stupidity behind them.

Somehow, Seto had been voted to climb into the 'C' train. He wasn't happy about it, but at least it kept him away from the others. Working methodically, he began to toss large pieces of wood and heavy props at his three companions; finding complete amusement in watching them struggle to keep up with him and protect the materials.

After thirty minutes, the 'C' train was half empty, yet Seto had ceased to throw out more props.

"Hey, Kaiba! What's takin' so long in dare?" Joey demanded, trying to peer through the inky darkness of the 'C' train.

"The wood's too big, I can't get it out! Ugghhhh!!!!" Seto replied, a strained and annoyed tone in his voice.

Duke blinked, sweatdropping, "I'm not even gonna ask..."

All of a sudden, Seto tumbled out of the 'C' train, a large wooden tree in his hands. Lying on the ground, he sighed with relief, holding up the tree, "I got you, you tricky bastard!"

"Are you talking to a cut-out tree?" Yugi asked, bafflement written all over his face.

"So what if I am?" Seto answered, climbing to his feet, "I have every right to yell at it after all the trouble it gave me to remove from that Hell hole!" He shook the tree viciously, muttering curses under his breath.

Duke sighed, "Someone's spent way too much time in the 'C' train..."

"Can we just finish this job and get back to class?" Tea asked, entering the 'C' train and tripping over a large painted flat.

As Mr. Bombadil dismissed his class, Tea, Yugi, Seto, Joey and Duke stumbled in. Each one was covered in scratches, bruises, dust and splinters; neither looked remotely happy.

"What in the name of all things sacred and Holy happened to you five?" Bombadil demanded, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Demonic barrels..." Joey muttered, falling to the floor.

"Giant turtles..." Yugi gasped, collapsing.

"Sinister flats..." Tea whined, fainting on the spot.

"Defiant trees..." Seto sighed, falling to his knees in exhaustion.

"Put simply...the 'C' train happened to us..." Duke finished before passing out.

The teacher blinked, eyeing the five unconscious students on his floor. "But the 'C' train's clean, right?"

A/N: Woot, I had fun with that one! Hope you guys liked it too, although there was a large number of inside jokes that you just won't get unless you're a techie, like me (Grins happily) Please review, for I am a review whore! (nervous laughter)