Author's Note: This, along with chapters 2 and 3, are edited replacements, fixing some areas I didn't like.

You Know What They Say About Paybacks

Chapter One


Doctor Elizabeth Weir was walking through the halls of Atlantis. It never ceased to amaze her at the pristine condition of the city. Lost for millions of years, submerged beneath tons of water, it had escaped virtually unscathed, waiting the return of the Ancients, or their descendants, the people of Earth. She could still remember the awe she felt when President Hayes had introduced her to the Stargate. Not in her wildest dreams had she envisioned a future like this.

In the morning she liked to do a short walk-through, at least the main areas, and see that things were running smoothly, and everything was right with her little corner of the galaxy. Some day she hoped to take General O'Neill on a tour, since he was directly responsible for them being here.

"Wait!" She heard a voice float towards her. She recognized it as Major John Sheppard's, "Don't go yet!"

Oh no, she groaned inwardly, John and Rodney were continually throwing her off guard, two little kids exploring the worlds most technically advanced toy box. Most of the devices were harmless but that shield device had had her worried, for a little while.

She breached the command balcony and looked down, seeing John getting ready to toss a round object towards Rodney, who was standing as far away from him as the room allowed, behind the gate.

"I can't go back any further. Wait...why don't we dial..." McKay was thinking of something. Weir figured it might be time to intervene, when John tossed the device, sending it hurtling through the air at Rodney.

"Heads up!" Sheppard hollered, amused as McKay dashed forward to try and catch the device.

"Major! Rodney!" Weir snapped, rushing down the stairs.

McKay's attention was diverted, and he let the disk slide past him, where it ricocheted off the back wall, and went straight for Weir, colliding with a solid hit, sending her to the ground in what had to have been a millisecond.

Sheppard and McKay gaped at the scene before them. "This can't be good." McKay swallowed, "Get a med team down here, now!" He yelled, and approached the limp form lying on the ground.

Weir was breathing but she was sporting a huge knot growing to mammoth proportions in front of their eyes. Sheppard breathed out, "Ouch."

"You are dead." McKay said.

"Me? If you had caught it like you were supposed to this never would've happened."

"That doesn't count, she distracted me! It's not like I wouldn't have caught it." He accused.

Dr. Beckett approached the fallen leader of their expedition, catching the tail end of Sheppard and McKay's conversation, staring at them in stunned fascination, "What did you do?" He kneeled in near Weir and let out an appreciative whistle, "That's got to hurt."

He waved for the stretcher, and let his tech's get her settled, turning to the two men, standing guiltily behind him, "Which one of you did it?"

Both raised fingers and pointed at the other.

"If I were you two, I'd find the remotest room in the city..." Beckett advised solemnly, "...possibly you should dial another planet." He shook his head in disbelief, and followed the stretcher out of the room.

Weir's head hurt. She tried to recall why it was hurting. She had been walking through the halls, doing her morning routine...Sheppard! He and McKay were goofing around with some Ancients device. She let out a groan, "Those two are going to get it." She muttered.

"I don't doubt that. How do you feel?"

Weir opened her eyes, surprised to see Carson sitting near. "I didn't know you were here."

"Sure you didn't. I won't tell." He looked at her critically, "That was quite a hit you took. How many fingers?" He held up two.

Weir pushed herself up gingerly, "Two."

Beckett changed his fingers to four, "Wrong."

"Not funny."

Carson swallowed, "Sorry." He put his hands down quickly.

"Speaking of not funny, where is the dangerous duo?"

"I think they're hiding. Didn't want to be around when you woke up." Carson's face wrinkled into a smile, "I wouldn't want to either."

Weir had a thought, and she couldn't stop the grin from spreading, no matter how much pain the movement of her facial muscles caused, she had a very good idea.

"You're not going to do anything drastic...are you?" Carson asked, half-afraid for his friends.

"I've just thought of the perfect mission for them."

"You're kidding, right?" McKay looked hopeful at Weir, who was standing arms crossed and face firm, in front of the dialing device.

"No, I'm not."

McKay, Sheppard, Teyla and Ford were geared up and ready to go. Weir had informed them of their newest mission and told them to be ready to gate out at 0800 hours. Actually, Ford had found McKay and Sheppard, and passed on the news. They had been staying out of sight ever since the Frisbee incident.

Even now, Sheppard couldn't hold back the involuntary wince when he looked at the goose egg on Weir's head, smack in the middle. He was surprised she hadn't made them scrub the Ancients version of a toilet with their toothbrushes. Thankfully, she wasn't military.

But this...this wasn't much better. "It's a wasteland. There's nothing there." John protested, showing a rare solidarity with McKay.

Elizabeth grinned, "Really?" She drawled, "Maybe you should take your...Frisbee...with you."

"Oh, I get it. Very funny. Come on!" McKay cried, "We said we were sorry."

Weir just kept grinning, "Peter, dial it up." Then she turned and marched out.

"I don't believe this." McKay said.

"You don't believe it? Teyla and I didn't do anything, and we're stuck on this trip with you two." Ford rolled his eyes, and shifted his pack.

"It won't be so bad; a little digging in the dirt, wandering in the waste...then we'll gate home." Sheppard offered, optimistic.

Teyla fixed an irritated look on Sheppard, "Next time watch where you play with your toys."

The wormhole flared to life, the vortex established with the violent disgorgement of the blue puddle. "It won't be so bad." Sheppard promised, walking backwards towards the event horizon of the wormhole. "Really." His body disappeared; the last thing they saw was a confident grin.

"Famous last words...doesn't he know that? You never start a mission saying that." McKay groused, following him through.

Ford and Teyla shared a bemused look, then jumped through together. Sheppard had better be right.