DISCLAIMER: This was one of the harder stories to write, hence part of the reason for the lag. The other part being having to work in 'children's wear' during back-to-school, tax-free week, and super clearance sales with screaming brats and their idiotic parents who have too much money and treat me like a moron because I have a name badge.
Snips and Spirals Fanfic: "Soap and Notes"
Text by Lady Tesser
Slytherins considered themselves both dignified and aristocratic. There was a certain order to their caste system within the House. However, there were a few within Slytherin who defied such caste restrictive pigeonholing.
For example, Mr. Severus Snape was a Pureblood by birth of the Snape and Lestrange families. The Snape family was a minor Wizarding Baronet, hardly noticeable due to their family having come upon hard times within the last century and had essentially become the poor aristocrats of the Wiltshire area.
They were also Dark Wizards. And rumor had it the Lord treated his son worse than a whipping boy.
Of course, the Wizard gentry do not speak of such things.
Another example was Britomartis Vox, also Pureblood and from two prominent Wizarding families on Crete. A family from illustrious High Priestesses and Royal Advisors, they were the equivalent of British Counts. They were powerful and wealthy and had many children.
Their youngest child had been virtually neglected her entire life, having to be raised by her elder siblings.
The Wizard gentry may not speak of such things, but Martis never gave a bull's snort about 'trivial matters'.
The rest had to reached by speculation. It was not enough that young Mr. Snape and young Miss Vox were merely friends. One does not become 'friends' with the opposing gender without wanting to be closer than 'friends'.
So, Slytherin - as a whole - had decided for the most part that Snips and Spirals were their Odd Couple, and pretty much treated them as such. Especially after that incident involving Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black, the body of Slytherin had agreed as a whole to leave the two strange children alone on these matters.
The two appreciated the dearth of inattention. Sev had been severely scarred by the incident (little wonder, since he had been mind-raped by Narcissa's lust spell) and wanted to be left alone as much as possible. The only person he allowed around him was Martis; his roommates were able to speak little with him even after they threw Lucius out for his part in the whole fiasco.
Martis was not as vocal or active around other students. Indeed, she was not drawing as much attention to herself as usual and several people had asked if she were ill. With Quidditch season out of the way and tests coming up, she claimed she did not have as much time to think of ways to 'be bizarre for their entertainment'.
Real reason was that she did not want anyone else getting the same ideas Lucius had.
Besides, they had an agreement - no getting into any type of trouble with other people. No dating, no kissing, no getting romantic with anyone, and not allowing anyone to get any ideas that they were receptive to it. Too much trauma to bother with such things at this time.
"Are girls really like that?" he asked at one point when they had escaped to the Conversation Room after dinner one evening.
"Like what?" Martis asked.
Sev looked down at the stone floor, tracing a long slender finger over the patterns of millions of years of pressure and weathering when it had first formed in the Earth. "Like Stellamaris and Black ... when they ... "
"No. I don't think so, anyway. My brother Rouvin had married someone like that, but that was an arranged marriage and both applied for divorce before the year was out. Last I heard he vanished into the Australian outback to study Aboriginal magic."
"Would you be like that? Like those two, I mean."
"Of course not!" Martis huffed. "I'd like to think I have a spiritual depth deeper than a birdbath!"
"I don't know about these things," Sev reminded her.
She laced her fingers into his. "Sorry. I hope I won't be like that." She paused thoughtfully. "I won't be. I'll find the man I'll marry, and then have babies. And we'll live wherever we end up, it doesn't have to be Crete."
Sev looked up at her. "I thought it was 'Snips and Spirals to the end'?"
"It will be." She looked away. "Nothing will change that part."
He thought about it. "It'll be a crowded house."
Martis stared at him for a long moment, then giggled. "Yes, I guess it would be!"
"Do I get my own room or will I have the attic?"
"Hey, you could get married first and I'll sleep in the attic."
He shook his head. "No."
"Then can I sleep on - " Martis stopped mid-thought, then leaned back against the wall.
"Nothing. A stupid joke." She closed her eyes. "It'll just be us, Snips. No manipulators, no users, no one that will hurt you or me."
"Promise?" he asked.
She opened her eyes, finding his face close to hers, his eyes staring directly into her eyes. Martis nodded, her nose touching his. "Cross my heart to the end of time, I'm your friend and you'll be mine."
Sev peered into her face, and then commented, "That's the silliest thing I ever heard."
Martis held up her hand. "Snips and Spirals forever."
He pressed his hand to hers, their fingers laced together. "Through eternity, though hell gape wide."
"I'm bored," Sirius Black stated as classes let out for the day.
"Already?" Remus Lupin asked. "That's a record."
"What shall we do?" James Potter asked. "Besides study for exams."
"I've got work in the library," Lupin reminded them.
"Why don't we hang around outside?" Peter Pettigrew suggested. "It's getting warmer."
"Or prank Vox and Snivellus," Potter added.
"That's an idea. Need to come up with something original, though." Black was silent, then said, "Does Snake-Bitch wear a bra yet? A good Bra-Snap Hex would work wonders."
"That is SO juvenile," Lupin sighed. "I'll catch you guys later."
He broke off from the group and headed for the library.
"We can have fun without him," Pettigrew said. "Right, Padfoot?"
"Sure," Black replied. "Prongs, we should think of a suitable prank for either Snake-Bitch or Mr. Slick."
"Greasy Git, you mean," Potter chuckled.
"Wonder how Vox can stand to be around him with all that grease?" Pettigrew giggled.
"He needs to wash his hair," Black declared. He paused, an expression of a dawning idea spreading across his handsome face. "I've got it."
"What?" Potter asked.
"We'll wash Snivelly's hair for him!"
Pettigrew giggled. "I know JUST the soap to use for this!"
Sev settled near one of the tributaries of the lake, a small creek with always freezing cold water and some of the most gorgeous creek pebbles in the area which had all washed down from Mount Muldoon.
He was alone for the afternoon. Martis had Divinations make-up work - seemed Madame von Gruppen was going to drink herself into early retirement to get Martis to use other methods besides 'Oracle of Delphi-style' - and he had to study for his Runes course.
The sunlight felt really good on the back of his robe as he kneeled on the edge of the creek and dipped his hands into the cold water, picking pebbles at random and feeling the water flow over his hands.
Martis once made little leaf and twig boats to float down the creek and he made a few as well. It never occurred to him to play in water; it was just something his bastard father never allowed.
He counted pebbles, then sorted them into colored groupings, then dropped them back into the water. It felt good to let his mind wander for a little while, thinking of nothing except the cold water and warm sun...
It was time to get back to the school. He had to study in the library with Martis.
Just as he was getting to his feet someone pushed him face first into the water. Scrambling in a panic, he tried to lift his head up and crawl back at the same time, but he only half-gulped a mouthful of air before his head was slammed back down into the cold water and a knee was shoved into his back.
Sev struggled against three bodies trying to keep him underwater.
"Up!" a voice gurgled through his waterlogged ears as he was pulled out of the water.
"Had a nice wetting down, Snivelly?" Sirius Black snarled sweetly in his ear. "Now we're going to show you how to wash your hair properly."
Martis sat on one of the library tables and kicked her legs back and forth as she opened her robe, allowing her knees full motion while she waited.
"Where, oh, where has my Snips gone? Oh, where, oh, where could he be? With his robe cut short and his hair cut long, oh, where, oh, where could he be?"
Remus Lupin held the tall stack of books under his chin, watching her kick her legs. He liked how her socks slipped down to her ankles as she kicked.
[Nice legs. Really nice legs. Bet if I got down at the right shelf, I could look up -
Oh, for Gods sakes, Lupin! Stop being a pervert!
She's waiting for Snape, anyway ... Oh, man, no. They wouldn't...]
"Is he always punctual, Miss Britomartis?" he asked.
"Hm?" She looked up and stopped kicking. "Snips? Yeah. I hope he's all right."
Lupin swallowed, placing the books on the table next to her. "I think I heard the rest of the guys talking ... "
"About?" she asked severely.
"Pranking one of you - "
Lupin felt the bookshelf against his back before it registered that Miss Britomartis had picked him up by his tie and robe and slammed him into the bookshelf.
He was staring down at her sunglasses as she growled up at him. "Where - are - they?"
"I don't know!" he cried. "Wherever Snape is!"
She dropped him and dragged him out by his tie. "You're coming with me, Remus Lupin!"
Despite almost being choked, Lupin wondered how it looked with her leading him by the tie. Even Snape did not get such treatment.
Black hummed to himself as he poured lye powder over Sev's wet head.
Sev screamed, struggling against Potter and Pettigrew holding his arms. The lye burned his skin, causing him to shut his eyes tightly from the heat seeping into them.
Black attacked Sev's head with hands, scrubbing the lye into the hair -
"WHAT THE FARKUCKT ARE YOU DOING??" Martis shrieked as she raced up to the group, releasing Lupin in her run.
Black screamed, lifting up his blistering hands. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"
Potter and Pettigrew released Sev and went to their friend. Sev fell into the water as Martis reached him, helping him rinse the lye out of his hair and face by covering her robe with her hands and scrubbing the soap out.
Sev smacked her hands away, dunking his head into the creek. He opened his eyes under the water, trying to flush the soap out of his eyes. At least he thought his eyes were open, all he could see was blackness.
When he surfaced for air, Martis was already cussing in both Minoan and ancient Greek at the retreating Marauders, using words he had never heard before.
"I can't see," he gasped. "Martis ... !"
"Right here, Severus," she answered. He felt her hands grasp his arm, helping him up. "We're going to Nurse Pomfrey, let me - "
"No! I can walk!"
"You can't even focus! Your eyes are messed up!"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
"Bull-feathers!" Martis dragged Sev by his robe across the field toward the school.
Within minutes, Sev was thrown into a bed and he felt the cool but efficient hands of Nurse Pomfrey applying something cold to his face.
"What is this?" she asked.
"It smelled like processed lye," Martis' voice answered. "Before it gets made into soap."
"And judging by it being in his hair and face, it looks like someone thought they could use it for human washing." She growled a little. "Allow me to guess - those four Gryffindor boys?"
"Three that I can definitely identify in the line-up. The fourth was probably in on it, but he denies it."
"If they got any of this on themselves, they should be crawling in here soon. I'll give them a sound spanking when they do."
"Best not to - they might enjoy it."
Sev mewed weakly. "This hurts like hell."
"I know, dear," Pomfrey's kind voice answered. "You'll have to stay a few days and recover. Considering the way your eyes were rolling in their sockets, it looks like eye damage as well."
"Will you be able to fix it?" Martis asked. Sev was surprised to hear tears in her voice.
"Let's see ... " Pomfrey began. "'Is water wet?' Give me a night or so. Meanwhile, you go report this to the Headmaster - this attack will not go unpunished."
"No. It won't," Martis' voice seethed.
Black held his hands limply as Potter wrapped them up in bandages.
"Why the devil did you give me that stuff, Wormtail?"
"You said you wanted strong soap, Sirius," Pettigrew whined, rubbing his wrist where some lye had gotten on it. "I heard lye was the strongest."
"You idiot, it was lye POWDER!" Lupin exclaimed, pacing around their dorm room. "It needs to be made into soap FIRST!"
"Oh, lay off, Moony," Potter snorted. "It was good for a larf."
"You weren't thrown into a bookshelf by Vox, either." Lupin rubbed the back of his head.
Black glowered. "I'm sure it'll become a favorite fantasy in your collections."
The door knocked.
"Yes?" Potter called.
The door opened. Professor McGonagall stepped into the room, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed behind her rectangle glasses. "Gentlemen, I believe the Headmaster needs to speak with you about an incident by the creek this afternoon."
Lupin glared at the rest of his group. "You've done it now, Padfoot."
"Ten points taken away, plus detention by cleaning the squid and writing up three foot scrolls on how to make real lye soap," Martis sneered. "They need a proper punishment, Snips!"
"Cleaning the squid is quite a job, Spirals," Sev answered. "It's ticklish."
"And nearly blinding you is not so bad??" She gently touched the bandage wrapped around his eyes. "Not to mention all those blisters."
"At least we got it in time before it would have completely blinded me." He groped along the bed sheet. Martis slipped her hand under his and he squeezed it. "At least Sillyass Black got his hands blistered, too."
"It was Porky-grew who got the lye soap."
"And Potty that helped hold me down."
"I'm still trying to prove Loopy was in on it. He denies any involvement."
"Spine of a flobberworm, that one." Sev sighed.
"I'll punish them! I'll set them on fire!"
Nurse Pomfrey arrived and silently went about checking Sev's bandages and blistered face.
"Set part of them on fire?" Martis asked.
Sev was quiet, considering it.
"I know which part, too, but you have to answer a serious question."
"I'm afraid, but what is it?" Sev asked.
"Do you guys have genital hair at your age?"
Sev sputtered while Nurse Pomfrey answered clinically, "Boys are like girls, Miss Vox - they grow at different rates. Secondary sexual characteristics like that grow in their own time." She patted Sev's head gently. "Besides, setting that on fire only produces a noxious odor."
Sev smirked. "How would you know about that?"
"I'm a nurse in a school with five hundred teenage boys. I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often." She stood up. "Don't overwork the boy, Miss Vox. He needs his rest." And she was gone.
"I'm missing lots of study time, that's the problem," Sev remarked.
"You still need your eyes covered another day and let the salve work." Martis leaned down by her chair and picked up his book bag. "But I can read to you what you need to study."
"I suppose it'll have to do. Have my Herbology notes?"
Martis dug around and found his notebook, opening it up. "Mm. Yeah, here they are. '"Professor Sprout has big bulbs" - overheard on Tuesday'." She giggled. "Who said that?"
"Some idiot Hufflepuff guy. Figured I could use it for blackmail if I need to."
"Blackmail a Hufflepuff? Whatever for?"
Sev shrugged. "Who knows? 'The future is a great unknown, a tabula rasa for us to write upon'."
"Quoting Merlin? You must be feeling better."
"It's your presence. You give me strength."
A silent Moment passed between them, and then Martis commented, "Your handwriting is so spidery."
"You should see it when I write essays - tiny."
"I like the spidery writing. It's so pretty."
"Too distinctive, though." He reached out and his slender fingers tangled in her long hair. "You have blocky writing, though, don't you?"
"Yes. McGonagall called it 'indistinct standard'. It was just how I learned to write English; Minoan and Greek are much more artistic."
"I have an idea."
Martis shivered in delight. "I LOVE IT when you say those words!"
Owls arrived throughout the next day.
James Potter received the first one just as breakfast ended. It was written on a standard, nondescript piece of parchment in standard, non-descript handwriting:
[Be careful at 2am tonight. - A Friend]
Potter looked around nervously, then immediately shared it with the rest of the Marauders.
"Ignore it," Black decided.
Between classes, Remus Lupin had a note flutter into his hands. It, too, was in a standard, non-descript handwriting:
[If James Potter breaks his leg tonight, it'll be your fault.]
Lupin decided not to share this with the rest of the group.
During afternoon break between classes, Sirius Black received his own standard, non-descript written note:
[Watch out for Potter and Pettigrew; they're planning something.]
Black shredded it and forgot about it.
Just before dinner, Peter Pettigrew got his own standard, non-descript note:
[Sirius Black fancies you. He's staring at you when he thinks you aren't looking.]
His had several hearts drawn around the writing.
He ate dinner at the other end of the table, looking around suspiciously.
"You should have seen it, Snips!" Martis sang as she entered the hospital wing after dinner. "Black was being cocky, Lupin was doting on Potter, Potter was being snippy, and Pettigrew was watching his own backside! I bet Pettigrew isn't even going to take a shower tonight in the boys' showers!"
Sev seemed puzzled. "Pettigrew? Shower? The two words don't sound right in the same sentence."
"I know - I thought he just waved an incense stick under his armpits." She settled on the bed and he flinched slightly. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he said quietly, touching the edges of the bandage around his eyes. "I just can't see what's going on. It makes me nervous."
"Nothing much to see. Nurse Pomfrey set up privacy screens around most of the bed except the side facing her office. You have a vase of wildflowers beside your bed. I'm here."
"It certainly beats the nightmares I can see."
"I'm going to hug you, Snips. Don't freak out."
Sev felt her hands move up his arms and around to his back, their bodies pulling close until they were pressed together. He felt her breathe gently against his neck as she laid her head on his shoulder. He allowed himself to relax and rested his head against hers as he drew his arms around her back.
"The world is different when you can't see," he commented quietly.
"In what ways?" Martis whispered against his skin.
"All the other senses are heightened ... I can hear your heartbeat."
"Sev ... "
"And I can smell the olive oil on your skin."
"Sev ... "
He squeezed her tightly. "What?"
"You're beginning to sound like Lucy."
He pulled away, his mouth in a frown. "What did he do to you?"
"Not much - " She turned her head.
"I can hear you looking away."
Martis looked back up at Sev. "Please don't. It's over."
"I don't want to remind you of Malfoy." He carefully reached across and touched her throat, then located her cheek.
"You won't," she answered as she turned to kiss his fingers. "You're Snips."
They were silent a moment, until Nurse Pomfrey clapped her hands and made shooing motions. "Out - out! I'll have none of that in my ward!"
Martis gathered up her robe hem and grinned. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Snips. Be ready to hear the Gryffindors wail!"
"Looking - well - listening forward to it, Spirals!"
In the doorway, Martis turned around on impulse and blew him a kiss, then left.
She did not know Sev heard her and had reached up and caught the kiss.
The Marauders pretty much had the dorm room to themselves. Their fifth roommate - a 'spotty little gimp' named Fred Holden - rarely ever slept in his assigned room. His reasoning was that he was allergic to 'frat' antics, and the fact he did not want to be involved in the wars between them and the Slytherins (the courage that was the hallmark of Gryffindor did not include stupidity enough to stay in a free-fire zone).
So, as the evening wore on in the dorm room that was quickly becoming known as 'The Lair', the four friends tried to settle in for the night. 'Tried' involved Sirius Black openly throwing himself onto his bed and falling asleep while issuing loud snores, Lupin keeping a worried eye on Potter, Potter sitting up in bed with one curtain drawn open and holding a Beater bat, and Pettigrew drawing his bed curtains tightly closed and sitting up with his wand at the ready.
"I'm snuffing the lights out," Lupin announced near ten or so.
"I'm keeping my bedside lamp on, if you don't mind, Moony," Potter said.
"Good idea, James," Lupin acknowledged. "It helps to see where you walk and everything."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Pettigrew poked his head out, watching the others settle down, then began stringing up tin cans and scattering Exploding Snap Cards around his bed.
Black continued to snore.
The clock ticked off eleven ... twelve ... one ... two...
Peeves floated into the room, looked at the unconscious Black and Lupin, then at the nervous-looking Potter sitting up in his bed. He could not see what Pettigrew was up to except for the fact that alarm devices surrounded his bed.
TOO rich ... just TOO rich.
Peeves poked his finger out and sent the tin cans rattling, then disappeared to watch the fun.
Pettigrew's bed curtains flew open, his wand pointing outward, and he yelled, "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU PERVERT!" Which was followed by a lighting bolt shooting from his wand.
This woke up the rest of the Marauders, with Black leaping out of bed and screaming, "MY HAIR'S ON FIRE! MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!"
Lupin fell out of bed and scrambled up, only to set off the Exploding Snap Cards.
"ARGH! KEEP AWAY FROM MY NAUGHTY BITS!" Pettigrew screamed, sending out more lightning bolts. Lupin hit the deck and covered his head.
Potter picked up his water glass and got tangled up in his bed sheets as he tried to crawl over and throw the water at Black's burning hair. He fell over the footboard at an odd angle that resulted in a wet crunchy sound from his leg and him dropping the glass, causing it to shatter, and setting off the rest of the cards.
By the time Professor McGonagall arrived, Black was holding Pettigrew up by the collar of his pajamas and about to release a broadside at the blond boy's face, Lupin was wailing about Potter's leg being broken, and Potter was gasping in agony from the break.
It was exactly 2 a.m.
Sev rolled over quietly as he heard voices. Professors McGonagall and Kettleburn were escorting the Marauders into the hospital wing and Nurse Pomfrey was bustling around and muttering about silly teenage boys.
"What happened to your wand, Pettigrew?" McGonagall asked.
"He shot lightning bolts from it," Black's voice answered. "That's why my hair was on fire."
"What?" McGonagall gasped. "There's no spell to produce lighting bolts! How did you do it, Pettigrew?"
"I don't know!" Pettigrew whined.
"It's carbonized," Kettleburn remarked. "Incredible. I never thought it was possible to carbonize a wand."
"Why were you throwing bolts at me?" Black demanded.
"You wanted me, you pervert!"
"Ew, I don't think so. I like girls!"
"Liar! You go around with long girly hair - "
"Not anymore, you homicidal little freak - "
"Quiet, both of you," McGonagall ordered. "How does Potter's break look, Poppy?"
Nurse Pomfrey answered, "Quite nasty, Minerva. He'll be in here for most of tomorrow while I get it fixed. And what about you, Mr. Lupin, anything wrong with you?"
"Just shock from the Exploding Snap Cards, ma'am."
"What about my hair?" Black complained.
"You'll need a haircut to get all the singed parts off," Pomfrey replied. "You and burns just are not friends this week, Mr. Black. How are those hands from the lye burns doing?"
"What started all this?" McGonagall asked.
Sev tried all he could in his power to keep from giggling as the Marauders babbled and squealed an explanation involving anonymous notes, charges of molestation, and accusations of assault.
Martis ran into the hospital wing the next morning, surprised to see James Potter laying in bed with his leg in a cast. She decided to approach him, pulling her sunglasses off to get a better look at his condition.
"What happened to you, Jimmy?"
He glared at her without his glasses. "I broke my leg. Remus got a note yesterday that said I would break my leg. I wonder who sent it and how they did it?"
"You know, Potter, sometimes we subconsciously act things out that are suggested to us."
Potter said something quite indelicate.
"What's that?" Martis asked as she leaned closer. "Was that something about me and a dog? Sorry, I don't like your boyfriend Sirius Prat, so that won't come to pass."
Potter looked up at her, able to see her a little more clearly. "You know, at this range you have really pretty eyes."
"I'll make sure to tell Lily Evans you said that." Martis smirked. "At this range, you don't look half-bad yourself."
"I'll make sure to tell Snape you said that."
"He can hear us, you know. Blinding him with the lye has sharpened his hearing." She looked down at his plastered leg. "Hmm. So, this thing will be coming off this evening?"
Potter did not answer her. Martis dug into her book bag and located a Magic Marker (a large, thickly feathered quill with a fat quill-chamber) and began scribbling on his cast.
"WHAT ARE YOU - ?!"
She finished with a flourish then put the quill away. "Just a memento of the occasion."
She left him to find written on his cast:
[To Jamie 'Spank-Me-Harder' Potter - Love and Kisses - Sirius 'Your-Only- Boy-Toy' Black]
And it was in a standard, non-descript handwriting. Like the notes.
Potter began ranting and shrieking. He tried to thrash, but that just pulled on his leg and made him pass out from the pain.
"There," Martis said as she sat next to Sev's bed. "That ought to give us some peace."
"What did you do to him?" Sev asked.
She told him.
He shivered. "I'm glad I'm on your side. You are a mean bitch."
"And that's why you love and adore me, Severus Snape."
He coughed. "I thought it was because you threatened to put eels in my bed?"
"That, too. So, when can you take your mask off?"
"Anytime today according to Pomfrey. I was waiting for you to help me take this off."
"Oh, how sweet." Martis reached back around his head and began unwrapping the bandages from his eyes. "Snips? Are you sure the notes were enough?"
"Have you seen Black yet?"
"I understand Porky-grew set his hair on fire - "
Martis broke into giggles. "He WHAT?"
"Peter Pettigrew set Sirius Black's hair on fire during the riot. Had to cut off all the singed parts. I can't wait to see it."
She unwrapped the last bandage. "Well, can you see now?"
Sev looked up at her, blinking in the light. Her green eyes were looking into his and ... she was simply wonderful to look at. "Yes." Impulsively, he reached up and hugged her around the neck, pulling her down on the bed and holding her close. "Snips!" she squealed, giggling loudly and hugging him in return.
"Stop that!" Pomfrey exclaimed. "Both of you - get up! I will not have that! Mr. Snape, you're discharged, now go back to your House. Miss Vox, stop encouraging him!"
"Yes, ma'am!" both students called as Martis got up and allowed Sev to change into his clothes behind the privacy screens. She glanced over at Potter, who was squinting.
"What were you two doing?"
Unable to resist, Martis looked around then tiptoed over to his bed. "I'd show you, but that would mean touching you, and I don't particularly care to put my hands down your - "
He choked. "Get away!"
Giggling madly, Martis grabbed Sev's wrist and ran out of the hospital wing. As they ran down the hall, they brushed past Sirius Black. Sev took a moment to study Black's hair, which was now cut up to his ears and still looking a little scruffy in places, especially with the half dozen cowlicks.
"Nice haircut, Sillyass," Sev mocked, being dragged in the wake of Martis.
"Dry up and die, Snivellus," Black snarled.
Sev twisted around, still being dragged by Martis. "Thanks for the shampoo, Sneerius; I'll return the favor with some properly made lye soap so you can tell the difference next time."
Black snorted as he continued down the hall. Sev turned back around and muttered, "Bastard nearly blinded me."
"I know," Martis replied. "But at least we got them pretty good. His hair catching fire was a bonus."
A shriek of rage followed them down the hall from the hospital wing, ending in the cry of, "I'LL GET YOU, SNAKE-BITCH!"
Martis giggled. "He knows he's in love with Potter, he just won't admit it. Let's have breakfast, Snips."