Author: Pumpkin Belly

Summary:  Sacrificing a million people is always easier than sacrificing one.

A/N: I got this idea from something someone said on a talk show.  It's written from Buffy's POV.  What she might have been thinking sending Dawn away in End of Days.

Going into this battle I knew there was going to be a lot of casualties. People were going to die.  You can't fight the inevitable.  I tried not to think about it nonetheless, but I didn't attach myself to any of the potentials.  I cut myself off.

A lot of people think I'm a bitch because of it.  Maybe I am but I do what needs to be done.  I made the big choices.   They weren't as hard as you would think to make.  I knew there had to be a fight.  I knew the girls would be a part.  And I knew people were going to be hurt.  They might not like my choice, but at least they didn't have to make it. 

The hard part was that people I loved might die.  I'd have to deal with the effects of there death.  Sacrificing a million people is always easier than sacrificing one.   That's why I have to do this.  I can't let her die.  Even if I don't make it through the fight she will.  She can grow up and have the normal life I've always wanted. 

That sounds silly even in my head.  She can't have a normal life after everything she's seen, but I can believe that she will. 

Even though I know that she'll probably come back, I can't sacrifice my sister.  That's why I'm having Xander take her away.  She's too important to me.   And when she comes back, at least I can say I tried.  And then I'll be even more proud of her, cause she had the chance to have the life I always wanted but she chose the life she was destined to have. 

Sacrificing the army I have put together will be easy; sacrificing the people in it will be hard.