Hot Inu (heh heh, get it? Instead of Dog it's Inu! XD): Baseball Stadium Showdown

Rated PG-13 for violence, some language, and stupid ness. You have been warned! Any flames on the stupidity of this fic will pay for it...I will find you...

-------------------------------------- -------

Hey! It's me again! You're not loveable authoress is back with another crazy One-shot! Well, this story was created by me and my bestest friend for the last 7 years, E-tan, around midnight. And if you dare write a flame on this, I'll personally hunt you down and strangle you with those candy necklaces and suffocate you with jelly beans!!!! You have been warned for she might be the first to get to you... Believe me, you don't want to get E- tan mad, I know from experience. She is vicious and I feel sorry for the poor guy...well, on to the story!!

5:00 pm, Dodger Stadium. Inu Yasha takes on a part time job due to destroying almost all of the things in Kagome's room. And somewhere along the fight, the other guys from the feudal era were dragged in. of course the job the six had taken on was not what they were hoping for...

"Hotdogs! Get them while they're hot! If not, I'll kill you!" yelled Inu, waving his fist around.

"Pepsi! Get it while it's cold! Or get sucked into my wind tunnel! Muwhahaha!" said Miroku in a sing-song voice.

"I'll have a Pepsi!" cried someone.

"Hot dog over here please, 'cause I don't wanna die!" yelled another.

A little boy then cried, "I wanna Pepsi 'cause I don't wanna die either! Mommy! Get me a Pepsi? PLEASE!"

Inu Yasha then gets mad for Miroku was selling more then he was. He stormed over to him and yelled in his face, "Hey Miroku! Go away; you're taking away my costumers!"

"It's not my fault they're thirsty, you moron. Besides, there are lots of beautiful women in this section."

Inu Yasha gets angry and then throws down his box of hot dogs, "OK! Off with the buns you freakin' monk!" Inu Yasha takes off the outer layer of his hot dog costume and gets ready to tear the Pepsi costumed Miroku into pieces.

"Fine then! Bring it on you moron! Off with the bottle caps! NYAH!" Miroku drops his box of Pepsi and launches himself at Inu Yasha.

When both men collided with each other, a puff of cloud with hands and feet flying everywhere is seen and lots of profanity is heard from the seemingly innocent fight cloud.

Then a guy from one of the upper levels of the stadium shouts, "Hey look! There's a fight and it seems to be the Pepsi and hot dog dudes duking it out man! AWESOMENESS!"

And then the puff of cloud falls into the field where the game was in play. They had landed on the batter and successfully knocked him out. The cloud disappears and we see Miroku gnawing at Inu Yasha's right ear and Inu was attempting to punch him in the stomach. The fight continues on for two hours. The crowd goes wild as they cheer on both Pepsi and hot dog.

The umpire attempts to stop the fight, but someone from the audience throws a big Styrofoam #1 hand at him, and since he was old and smelly, he passed out on the impact on his fragile moldy head. The other players ran for dear life because Inu Yasha and Miroku start to swing bats each other.

Inu Yasha uses his claws and rips out a chunk of Miroku's cheap Pepsi shaped costume. Miroku somehow managed to pull on the legs of Inu's hot dog costume thingy, freeing his now sweaty, smelly legs.

The manager walks out onto the field with wide bulging eyes shouting, "Oh my Bleeping GOD! The Pepsi and Hotdog are at it again! When will the madness end!?"

He grabs Inu and Miroku by the ears and fires then on the spot, "You're fired! Every stinking game you two are always fighting! You're supposed to sell food! Not leave them on the stadium floor so cheap people can mooch on it! I want you to leave! LEAVE!! And take you're jacked up costumes too! Those are the 10th ones you guys destroyed this week!"

With a crazy look on his garlic smelling, wrinkly face, he hits them over the head with whatever is left of the bats and runs for dear life. He screams while almost running into a door that came out of no where, "IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD-AHHHH- AS WE KNOW IT!!! The hotdog and Pepsi fighting confirms it!"

Shippo comes out of no where in his gay multicolored lollipop suit and asked Inu Yasha innocently, "What happened to our manager?" and burps for no reason.

"And that's my Pepsi that made him burp!" cried Miroku from under Inu Yasha.

"He fired us...Just like everyone else...Bastard"

Innocently, Shippo looked at Inu Yasha and said, "Well, maybe if you looked as cute as I am, even if my suit is gay beyond belief, maybe you could get costumers."

"NO! You must look like me to sell!" cried Naraku from the top of the stadium. The audience just sits back and enjoys the weird fight between the vendors in ugly looking costumes. Inu hits Shippo over the head, and he cries like always (A/N aww...)

From the aisle way of the stadium, a great big tootsie roll that strangely resembles a turd comes rolling down while screaming like a sissy school girl. From the top, Koga is heard laughing like a hyena, dressed like a star buck's frappacino bottle. Koga hiccups and passes out.

"Eww...," said a woman next to him, "He's drunk!"

"Where'd he get the booze!?" cried an other not to far away from the woman.

Inu Yasha races up to Koga in only the boxers that Kagome gave him for Christmas, and finds all of Koga's frappacino bottles empty. Inu screams at Koga, "You're supposed to sell them not drink them you stupid wolf! We can't handle that much caffeine! We come from the feudal era!" Inu grabs a hold of Koga's neck and slaps him over and over again.

In comes a great big doughnut, rolling straight for Inu Yasha, "Help me!" it cried sounding strangely like Sessho-Maru, "I'm getting dizzy!" Behind the giant doughnut of doom, a fat three-hundred pound five-year old waddles as fast as he can to catch up to the mega doughnut thing.

"Come wheeze Back!gasp" he yells after it.

Inu Yasha sweat drops, "Ooooo...kay....he said and continues to slap Koga, which he is now all bloody and bruised.

"Is anyone going to help stop Sessho-Maru?" asked Shippo.

"Nah..." said Naraku, "Let him roll to his bloody doom. Besides, I just got my nails and hair done. This suit already messed up my beautiful hair; I'm not going to risk my nails! You crazy!?" Miroku and Shippo just look at him and back away.

"HELP!" cries Sessho-Maru. He hits the railing and falls into the center, rolling straight toward Shippo, Miroku, and Naraku.

"Every man for himself!" cries a nearly naked Miroku. If it weren't for Naraku who lend him his candy tray, Miroku would have been running in his birthday suit since Inu Yasha complete trashed him Pepsi costume.

They ran as fast as they could around the stadium but Sessh never seemed to slow down.

On the upper levels of the stadium, the fat kid jumps on Sessho-Maru and only made him go faster from the momentum the impact provided.

Koga now looked like something from the dump thanks to Inu Yasha "playfully" slapping him. "I hate you! Stupid wolf! Trying to steal Kagome!! BLARGH!" Inu then takes Koga's suit, gets up and leaps into the stadium like a ballerina. If only he knew Sessho-Maru was right behind him.

"Ack!" and Inu then became the first hotdog mascot pancake, with out the hotdog suit, but instead in a Frappacino costume, known to Dodger Stadium history. But did that stop Sessho-Maru? No way! He was still rolling after Naraku and the others.

Naraku trips on his high heels and falls on top of Miroku, "Oh thank you," he said in a sluttish voice, "I knew you couldn't resist my sexiness!"

"Get off me! SHIPPO! Come back!!!" Miroku cried and dropped Naraku who ended up getting flatten.

"Bleep OFF!" yelled Shippo, "Hell no am I getting Squashed!"

From the comfort of the hotel Kagome was staying at from some odd reason, saw the whole thing on T.V. while channel surfing.

"Uh-oh," she said and flew like superman to her car keys across the room. Driving like a crazy nanny goat, she was able to use her weak human powers to stop Fluffy, the evil mega giant super doughnut of doom.

"You have to get this fat kid off of my tail! I can't feel it anymore!! AAHHH! Then again I can! MOMMY!" cried Fluffy like a wimp.

The said fat kid gnaws off a huge piece of Fluffy's tail boa thing, "Mmm, tastes like goat cheese!" he said.

"Muwhahahaha! You are now poisoned evil bastard fat kid!" yelled Sessho- Maru in triumph.

"Ah crude," said the fat kid and died.

His skinny mother screams and crawls to her son's lifeless blob; I mean body, "PORKY! My son..." she then eyes Sessh who tries to remove his doughnut costume. Her eyes get all starry and she glomps him, "Thank you! He kept eating all the food at home! I haven't eaten anything in weeks! Damn fat little bastard!" then she dies.

Sessho-Maru freaks out and throws the body into the audience where a group of cannibals eat her. Everyone around them backs away very slowly hopping they wouldn't be next.

Koga wakes up and trips on the stairs of the stadium. When he wakes up from the accident 2 minutes later, he talks with an Irish accent, "Ahhh! My bloody kilt! Why it brown? Ok ladies, who'd a let them dogs take a crapper on 'em? I'll bloody send ya all to bloody hell! Ah criecky!"

The audience just looks at him and whisper among themselves about how crazy he was. Inu Yasha gets up from the crater he made when being smashed by the killer doughnut and said, "Do you need to get an other ass whooping again?"

"Bonny, you're a rude lad."

"Excuuuuse me? My name is Inu Yasha! Do I need to make a rap song for you?!"

"NO!" cries Kagome, "You can't rap for tatter tots and mushrooms!" she then runs away screaming like crazy with her hands on her head.

By then the audience had enough and left the stadium.

Well, the what happens you say? Let me tell you!

Naraku committed suicide for he had broken his nail. Miroku was kidnapped by dirty old ladies from a secret spy group called P.E.R.V. what does it stand for? I have no clue...

Shippo and Sessho-Maru went home and vowed to never speak about what happened to anyone else. Koga died from head trauma thanks to Inu Yasha smashing his head on the seats. Inu was hit by a Pepsi truck in the parking lot and his last words were, "Damn Pepsi." And finally, Kagome somehow drove off a cliff at 2 m/ph...


Well? What you think? Please review if you enjoyed it or thought it was ok. If I see one complaint on this fic, I swear I'll find you and make you apologize ! I don't appreciate people saying I've "raped the characters" for there are many other stories out there that really suck ass but at least I don't say they suck! I don't review! I save them from the anger. And I don't find it fair that people would say my fic sucks when there are others just as weird as mine.

I warned you in the beginning! So don't you write one. This fic is for the reader's enjoyment of me and my friend's stupidity... now go on! Review, and the nicer it is, the more fics I'll post in the future! I hope I didn't scare you away but you needed to be warned!