This Way Became My Journey
Disclaimer: I dont own anything in the Star Wars universe. I dont make any money writing this, so back off and leave my sci fi collection alone, cause I DONT SHARE!
This songfic takes place throughout Obi-Wan's life.
Song "Book Of Days" by Enya, and I THANK her for creating such a wonderful piece of music, and allowing me to borrow it.
"What made you change your mind? I mean, it's my dream come true to be a padawan, but after all the times you rejected me, why finally agree? You were so adamant about it." The 12 year old asked his new master.
Qui-Gon turned around to address his new apprentice, "Obi-Wan, you fought beside me, though like you said, I rejected you. Yet you showed loyalty and dedication to someone who dismissed you out of blind ignorance. I was so headstrong about NOT getting involved or even wanting another apprentice, that I nearly got you killed. In the mine, you would have given your life for me, and that's something that not alot of people would have done. Especially since the way I treated you. You showed true dedication and courage. I knew right then that the force had put us together. I'm sorry it took me so long to listen to what the force was saying, to what YOU were saying."
"I have to admit, I was beginning to wonder if you would see me at all." Obi-Wan sighed, running his hand through his now much shorter hair.
"I'd be blind if I didn't. You made friends and protected them at the risk of losing your own life, piloted a starship under heavy enemy fire, you overcame fear on more than one occasion. You even fought against an enemy that wasn't yours. Though I didn't take you as my padawan, you fought an old enemy of mine, as if you were." Qui-Gon smiled and placed his hands on Obi-Wan's shoulders. "You proved yourself worthy many times, but I let my past get in the way, for that I am sorry."
Obi-Wan's face lit up, "Thank you master, but there is no need to apologize. You would have eventually asked me to be your padawan."
"Oh? And how can you be so sure? Seeing into the future are we?" Qui-Gon asked bemused.
"No, not seeing into the future." Obi-Wan said with a sly grin. "But I knew the force demanded it, so I just waited until YOU were ready."
Qui-Gon laughed, "Well, I'm just glad I prevented you from blowing yourself up. It's hard to train pieces of a padawan."
Obi-Wan began to laugh and embraced his master for the first time. It felt odd, yet natural.
Qui-Gon was slightly taken aback when Obi-Wan hugged him. He couldn't remember Xanatos ever hugging him, even when he accepted being Qui-Gon's padawan. He smiled and wrapped his arms around the much smaller person and planted a small kiss on the top of the spiky hair. "I'm glad I finally came around. I see a great future ahead of you young one. You will be a great knight."
One day, one night, one moment
My dreams could be tomorrow
One step, one fall, one falter
East or west
Over Earth or by ocean
One way to be my journey
This way could be my
Book Of Days
"Obi-Wan, how long have we been together?" Qui-Gon asked his now pouting apprentice.
"We've been together for 12, almost 13 years." Obi-Wan said through a frown.
Qui-Gon put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders , "And in all that time, I have ever done anything that would make you feel like you weren't important to me? Like I forgot you or didn't want you around anymore?"
The younger man sighed in defeat, "No Master you haven't. You've always been there for me and have supported me when no one else would."
"Then why do you feel betrayed now? I have every confidence in you that you will pass the trials. You should be proud you accomplished your goals and do your training, and me, proud." Qui-Gon smiled out the viewport that overlooked Naboo.
"But master, you told the council you wanted Anakin as your padawan and I haven't even TRIED for the trials. You pushed me aside to take the pathetic little welp and shunned me in front of the people the Jedi revere the most. How could you do such a thing? " Obi-Wan was on the verge of tears.
"I didn't shun you, but you have to understand. I know that Anakin is the Choosen One. He MUST be trained. I knew the council would say he's too old, they knew that no master would take him because of his age and lack of training. So I made it clear that I would be willing to do it. I have every confidence that you will be able to pass the trials." Qui-Gon explained.
Obi-Wan continued to pout, "But I hadn't even been approached by the council to take the trials."
"Trust me Obi-Wan. You have always been the most important thing in my life and I would die a thousand deaths before I allow any harm to come to you. You've been like a son to me, and I just can't dismiss family." Qui-Gon smiled and gave Obi-Wan a quick hug as the transport landed. "We'll discuss this later, now we have to concentrate on the Queen and I sense a disturbance in the force. Be wary and stay alert."
"Yes Master. And you better be prepared to explain IN DEPTH later on." Obi-Wan said with a big grin and gave the elder a quick hug and bounded out the transport to offer his assistance.
O oiche go hoiche, mo thuras (From night to night, my journey)
An bealach fada romham (The long pilgrimage before me)
O la go la, mo thuras (From day to day, my journey)
Na scealta na mbeidh a choich. (The stories that will be forever)
Obi-Wan watched as the Sith lord struck down the man that had come to be as a father to him. He felt the rage and hatred surge through him and felt the intense power it showed him. But if he accepted the power, allowed it to seduce his senses, it would mean the offering of his soul to the dark side. That was a price that he couldn't afford to pay. All his training would have been for nothing, all Qui-Gon's words and wisdom would have empty meaning.
When the lazer wall receded, instinct took over and powered Obi-Wan's actions. The force flowed in and around him, and he took the sith off guard with his strength, determination and focus. Obi-Wan fought with every cell of his being in sync with the force and overcame the sith lord, rendering one of the deadly red blades useless.
Obi-Wan momentarily lost his focus, and the sith took advantage of his distraction and force pushed him over the edge of the pit. While dangling high above, he felt Qui-Gon send him reassurances, heard him in his mind.
//Don't lose faith. All is not lost. Feel the force, let it control you. I believe in you.//
Obi-Wan felt the force surge through him once again, and used its momentum to catapult him over the siths head and call his master weapon to his hand. In one swift slash, the sith was no more, and fell from view.
Obi-Wan rushed to his masters side, and tried to comfort him, sending force waves to the fallen elder. He could feel Qui-Gon's bond with him diminishing, and their mental connection beginning to come apart.
"I failed you. Forgive me master." Obi-Wan choked out as he felt his master touch his mind.
Qui-Gon pleaded with Obi-Wan to take the child Skywalker to train, and hoped his padawan was ready for such a burden as rearing a child. He began to disconnect the bond the two shared during their partnership, but didn't finish severing the bond.
Obi-Wan felt the bond begin to become distant, then all of sudden, there was total blackness and the mental connection ripped through the younger mans mind, leaving a raw emotional trail in its wake. He cried, cradling the fallen Jedi's head in his arms, whispering over and over, "I promise. I'll train him. I'll make you proud. He'll be a great Jedi. I promise."
No day, no night, no moment
Can hold me back
I'll fly, I'll fall, I'll falter
I'll find my day maybe
Far and away
Far and away
Obi-Wan stepped silently around the huge machine of destruction. He could feel his former apprentice close, and feared what he would do if he knew about his son close by. Obi-Wan could only provide cover, and hope for a safe retreat for the young protege.
Obi-Wan sensed a surge in the force, and knew that his time was limited. The force was calling him home, drawing his life closer to its end. When his former apprentice stepped out of the shadows, the force surged around him, nearly pulling him prematurely into it's protective arms.
He held off the evil that embodied his once promising young charge. His senses recoiled at the intensity of the malevolence, and when the force called to him one last time, he accepted it's presence and was pulled into the eternal peace that had waited for him, suddenly easing all these years of suffering.
He felt like he was standing in the middle of happiness, joy, serenity, overflowing his senses and comforting the part of him that had been left in a void for most of his life. He could see his form was a somewhat silhouette, his body just a empty shell that allowed his senses to communicate on this ethereal level.
"Obi-Wan"a familiar voice called to him, bringing him out of his tranquil commune.
"Master? Is it you?"Obi-Wan opened up his senses, but didn't get the same feeling he would get while in the ordinary world.
"Yes Obi-Wan. It's me."Qui-Gon voice filtered through, echoing off of invisible walls.
Obi-Wan began to search, feeling the force swirl around him, seemingly transporting him somewhere, bringing him closer to the voice of his master. "Master? Where are you? What is this place?"
"Obi-Wan, you are in the force now. It's ok, just relax and allow it to take you to where you should go. Don't worry, I'm here waiting for you." Qui-Gon answered.
"Yes master."Obi-Wan smiled broadly, tears coming to his eyes. "Do you know how much I missed saying that?"
"I seen your saddened face everytime someone used the term. I've always been watching over you throughout your life. Now, I'm here to guide you home."Qui-Gon said, his blue shimmer appearing before Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan began to feel the energy around him pulse, soon contorting around. "Master, I am SO happy to see you. I'm glad you are here to guide me, just like you always have when I was an apprentice." Obi-Wan extended his arms, his light becoming one with his masters.
"I told you I would always be here. I am so glad to see you padawan. But I'm not the only one here, look around."Qui-Gon said, releasing his padawan and extending an arm.
Obi-Wan gasped as other Jedi appeared, some friends, some strangers, his eyes eventually spotting Yoda. Yoda smiled and bowed his head, acknowledging Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan returned the gesture and once again turned to his master, "It's good to be home, but I'm SO sorry I failed you master. Can you forgive me?"
"Failed me? How?" Qui-Gon asked.
"Anakin turned. I tried to teach him, like you wanted me to. But he was too powerful, and I couldn't help him control his anger. I'm sorry. Can you forgive me for failing you?"Obi-Wan's head was down in shame.
Qui-Gon smiled, putting his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder, "Anakin would have turned no matter who trained him. It was his destiny to destroy everything, and to have a child to destroy everything he worked for. It all came back to him."
Obi-Wan eyes looked up at his masters, confusion was written on his features.
"Anakin was the one to destroy the Jedi, but his son will be the one to destroy the Emperor, and bring balance back to the force. When I became one with the force, I learned how your roles intertwined, and knew that you would fail, no matter what you tried. I'm sorry Obi-Wan. For all the pain, suffering, heartache, and loss you have endured, because of what I asked. Can you forgive ME?"Qui-Gon bowed his head, his voice was riddled with sadness.
Obi-Wan smiled, "I forgive you. But you know what master?"
Qui-Gon cocked an eyebrow curiously over at his padawan.
"It wasn't such a bad journey. I'm just glad I'm with you."Obi-Wan's eyes beamed with pride and joy.
Qui-Gon put his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders, and began to lead him to the other Jedi, "No, it wasn't such a bad journey. We will travel together again, young one. Right now, we rest, and when the time is right, we begin the new journey."
Obi-Wan disappeared into the shimmer of the force, sending a cascade throughout the universe. Those who were force sensitive felt the union of souls, and looked up to the heavens, anticipating their chance to join with the ones that came before.
One day, one night, one moment
With a dream to believe in
One step, one fall, one falter
I found new Earth across a wide ocean
This way became my journey
This day ends together
Far and away
This day ends together
Far and away