Disclaimer: I do not own, nor have permission to use any of the characters here.
Sally and Sonic.
I was always thought of as perfect. Everyone always saw me as the poster child of what you had to be. When ever they saw me they always said, "Now there's someone who is stable." They never knew the "Me" inside. They never knew that even though I seemed perfect and emotionally stable, I was the opposite within. I guess you could I say I liked being known that way. I don't really know why but I think it was because being seen that way gave us hope. Like maybe if we had at least one good person on the team we could really win this war against Robotnick. Now I'm not saying that I was the only team player, we all had our strengths. But I was the planner, the one who made the missions and goals. I was the one thing that kept the Freedom Fighters going. So I had to keep a cool head, no matter what the situation.
This way of life worked for a long time. Everyone was doing their part so there was no cause to complain. We even had the upper hand in the war. Then, one night changed it all into something we never would have dreamed.
"I think if we go into the main data bank we'll be able to gain all the info we need," I said to the team one night.
"Sonic, you take care of swat bots. Bunny, you penetrate the main door with Rotor and wait for Sonic. When all is clear I'll go and take care of the computer. Ant, I want you to come as an extra in case anything happens. Got it?" everyone nodded. As they got up and left the room, Sonic came up to me.
"So…" he started to say, looking right into my eyes. I felt it, that sensation in your gut that says to go for it. "So…" I said. I stared into his eyes, thinking. In our relationship we had not gone far, only small kisses and simple expressions of love. Yet, there where times, like that night, where I could not get my mind off of sex.
"Sonic I…." I tried to think of many ways to verbalize my wants but nothing came to mind. I was speechless. Suddenly out of nowhere he kissed me. I kissed back passionately, making sure he knew how I felt through the kiss. Normally I would have tried stop to think it over. But that was the fake Sally. The Sally everyone knew and liked. I was tired of being her, to be the old warden of the group. Most of all, I was tired of being the one person to do everything.
"Oh my GOD Sally" I heard him say as we parted. I'm not really sure what happened next, the kissing the hugging…it all seemed to melt into one intense moment. It was like all of our emotions had pored themselves into one age of time were the only thing that mattered was us. The next morning I woke up still hugged tight to Sonic.
"Mmmm" he moaned as he got up. "So I take it you liked that huh?" He looked at me in a way that seemed to say it all. "You could say that." I got out of bed slow, still trying to recall what happened the night before. I remember feeling like it was the best things I ever did. It was something that changed me. Yet, it was also something that-
"Sall? You know what would make this morning great?" Sonic said. "Flap jacks. Nice huge pancakes that you could sink your teeth into."
"Oh really? Then I guess you want me to make some," I said as I walked into the kitchen. Sonic followed holding his tong out like a dog. I got out the skillet and began to size up how much mix we would need while Sonic just stood there watching.
"I do hope you know that just because you gave the idea for food does not mean that you don't work for it," I said playfully. I was so relaxed that I felt I could do or say anything with out thinking twice about it. Like I could be me with out the "Is this good for the Freedom Fighters" thought running through my head.
"Aw Sall! I just got up!" he smiled lightheartedly, almost in a teasing manner. He got out the eggs and began to make the batter while I wormed up the skillet. I did not realize it then, but that was the happiest time of our lives. I think it was the only time we ever acted on impulse. Sometimes, when I get really sad or depressed about the aftermath of that night, I think about how the morning went, and I smile.
The next couple of weeks where the same as always: missions, planning, and fighting. For a while it seemed like nothing happen between us at all. But it was there, that something that said we did it. After a while it became the one thing everyone knew but no one talked about.
But then one day it all changed.
I got up that morning feeling nauseated. "It's probably the food I ate" I told myself. When I went into the kitchen I saw Bunny drinking some Moby tea.
"Hay Sally girl, how you'all doing?" "Ok…" I said sleepily. Bunny took one look and could see that something was up. I don't know how she figured it out so quickly, I only felt sick. I didn't think I looked it.
"Are feeling all right?" She asked while putting one hand on my forehead.
"Bunny I'm fine!" I insisted. I pushed her hand away.
"Bunny… I just got up! Will you…" before I got the chance to finish my words, I vomited.
"Oh my stars, Sally you are not well at all. You go to bed while I get the book." The book Bunny was referring to was the medical record we kept. In it we had all of the sicknesses we had gotten over the years and ways to cure them. It was really more of a log then a medical book. Bunny opened to the first page and began to read off what illnesses I could have.
"Fever…no… Flue… no… rash? I don't think so. Sugar, just what ya'all been feeling?"
"It's just the food I ate Bunny! I'm fine!" I said. I don't know why Bunny kept on thinking I was sick. She usually would take my word for it. But I guess I must have been really sick for her to worry like she did.
"Ok… I think the flow chart should help. Hmmmmmm…." She looked pensive. The more she read the more worried I got.
"Bunny…. Will you just let me get up so I can start my day?" I persisted. She didn't listen. She just kept looking. Then for some reason she just stopped, dead, in complete shock of what she saw.
"Oh my stars…" was all I heard her say. "Bunny… What is it? Bunny!" "Sally… oh Sally," she said with what a first seemed to be a sad tone. Then she smiled wide.
"You're going to be a MOM!" Silence filled the room. We just sat there pondering what she just said.
"There is no way I am pregnant! Sonic and I are totally different species! Plus, no one here had gotten pregnant before so the book should not even have it logged!"
Bunny looked distant, almost like she was hiding something. I grew scared.
"Bunny…" She looked sad.
"It does not matter how it got logged. All that matters now is the future of the Freedom Fighters," She sniffled. I could tell that something was up. I knew what she was getting at but I wonted to know why. Why was she holding back? Why didn't she just tell me what happened?
"Sally this is really not the time to change the subject," she said. She smiled again, this time with more force. I didn't know what to say. My best friend was telling me that not only was she sexually active, she also had a miscarriage. She was telling me that I was pregnant and that If I was not careful, I could lose this baby.
"Bunny what are you are you trying to say?" She looked right into my eyes. This was all too weird for me. One minute I was feeling sick and now….I was being forced into my old ways to keep her calm. I felt like I didn't know her anymore.
"Sally what happened to me was hard. I don't want to revisit it; I just want you to know that….he is out there." Suddenly it all became clear. She came home from a solo mission one day feeling wrecked. I really do not remember what she did, but I know that it was enough to make anyone sick. Shortly after that day, she started talking to Rotor a lot more then normal, confiding in him. Back then I thought it was ok. Everyone has that person that they need to talk to, that one guy that makes it ok.
Now I knew why.
She was having Rotors baby and Robotnick found out. She came home wrecked because HE took care of it. HE took a way the only chance she had for babies. She was not just sick that day. She was healing from what Robotnick did to her. Bunny's face cringed as she recalled what happened.
"I came real far in my mission, almost bout ready to leave. Then when I came close he caught me. I did not know what to do. My stars, I was so scared. At first I tried to fight'em off. But Sally-girl that baby just tired the fight right out of me. I thought I was a goner for sure. When he had me in his grip, I tried my best to give that ol fagot an ultimatum but he wonted only one thing. Right after I was let go. And…" She cried hard, letting the tears soak her fur. I held her close to me, telling her that it was alright.
"Does Sonic know yet?" Rotor asked as I walked into the R and D room.
"No," I said. He gave me a look over, slightly touching my belly.
"I don't think you're that far, only about a month at the most. But from what I have learned it only takes about 4-6 months for the baby to develop."
"Do you think I could actually have this baby safely Rotor?" He got up and went over to the sink to wash his hands.
"Well that's hard to say. I didn't even think that conception was possible until what happened with Bunny and being that she did not get so far with our baby… it's hard to really say what could happen"
"So then how do you know how long I'm expecting?"
"Well…You're slightly showing now and judging by how you look I don't think you have much time." Rotor frowned.
"So what do I do? And how much do we know?" I asked. Rotor went over to the R and D bookshelf and pulled out a black composition book and started to turn pages.
"Well…" he had the same pensive look that Bunny had, so concentrated on what to do.
"For right now all I can say is the obvious: Talk to Sonic, don't go on missions…"
"What!" I screamed, interrupting him. "I have to go!" I knew vary well form what Bunny told me that that's what I had to do, but I was not ready. Looking back on this moment I think that even though I hated my old ways, it was hard to break free of them.
"Sally, I'm no doctor but it's what you have to do. I don't like this anymore then you and the rest do, but I don't want anything to happen to you. We need you!" I stood there listing to what he said, trying so hard not to cry. I began to feel like all of my emotions where being stung around like guitar strings.
"I know…" I said with a sigh.
"Get some sleep maybe that will clear your head…" Rotor said.
"Ok…" I sighed as a tear tickled down my face. At the moment I wonted let it all out like my friends have able to. I wonted to have that emotional wait fly off my chest. But most of all I wonted to talk to Sonic. When I walked out the door I could see that moon had risen. It glowed bright with a slim blue ring around its edges. For a while I stared at its simplicity, the way it preformed the same task every night and never got tired of it.
I began to wonder how the baby would be able to live with us and our lifestyle. As I far I knew the baby would be as good as dead in only two weeks. Then suddenly I remembered something.
"Oh my GOD!" Quickly I got to my feet. In all of the commotion of my pregnancy we forgot the one little guy who was already the baby of the group: Tails.
"Hi Aunt Sally," he said as I entered his hut. He was already in his bed.
"Hello Tails, I almost forgot it was story time. I'm sorry," I tried my best to smile; there was no sense in worrying Tails with my tears. I pulled out the story book and turned to the page we where on.
"Aunt Sally? Have you been crying? Tails asked innocently, his eyes wide with wonder.
"Why do you say that?" He moved closer to me, still under his covers.
"Your tears Sally. You look like you've been crying." I pondered for a moment how I would best tell him, or better yet, why should I tell him?
"Well Tails everyone gets sad once in a while, it's part of being an animal," I could tell by the disbelief in his face that he was not buying it.
"Aunt Sally, I may be 12. But I'm not stupid. No one gets sad just because 'its part of being am animal" I did not know what to say, he sounded so mature for his age.
"Tails... it's getting late and aren't you a little tired?" I know this sounds cowardly to just put Tails to bed and leave, but I was not ready to let him know just yet. He was just too innocent to know the harsh truth of the world.
"Oh…. Just a little…." He said while yawning. Slowly he closed and opened his eyes, drifting off into sleep. I smiled.
"Oh Tails…" I said as I pulled the covers over his chest up to his neck.
"Someday you'll know what I mean." I gave him a peck on the cheek and left. On my way out I saw Sonic just coming in.
"Is he asleep?" he asked.
"Ya…" for some reason I felt all my emotions begin to surface again. I cried.
"Sally what's wrong.?" I pulled him close. "Oh Sonic! I just don't know what to do! Sonic… I…" I sobbed hard. I really had no way of telling him.
"Sonic, I'm pregnant and it's yours. I have been trying to tell you and… and….Bunny told me what happened to her and…." He stood there listing to what I said in total shock. I continued to ramble on and on about what I felt and about my worries. I let it all out; every little bit of stress that I felt… all the tension and knotted emotions, all of it.
"Are you sure? I mean... How do you know?" he asked. I began to tell him what Bunny told me and what Rotor said to do. This all felt so weird for me. I was so used to being the old Sally that to finally express who I really was felt odd. Sonic smiled.
"Do you know what this means? Where going to be parents! Sally this is so great," he puts his hands on my shoulders. I could not believe what he was saying. I'm having his kid with the running risk that, at any moment I could die at Robonicks hands and he smiles about it. I grew furious.
"How the FUCK can you say that Sonic! This is not great! This is horrible. I'm having your baby and all you can say is that it's great! I could DIE Sonic, do you know that! I mean look at me, LOOK AT ME! We do not have much time. Before we know it, we'll have more to take care of then Tails. We'll have a BABY!" I screamed. My whole body shook with rage; I could not control all the anger that I felt.
"You find it OK because you think that I'LL TAKE CARE of everything like I always do right? Well guess again, hedgehog!" At first he said nothing. He just stood there pondering the best way to act. Then, he hugged me close letting his hand caress over the little swell in my belly. I did not move, not sure on what he was doing. He smiled as he ran his hand slowly up and down. I was not sure if his touching was his way of realizing the reality or just an impulse act, but what ever it was, it relaxed me.
"Sally," he said as he gave me a kiss, "What you just said to me was a lot to deal with in one moment. Now I know I will never understand what you're going through but if you stop yelling and know that we can do this, everything will go much smoother." He continued to rub as he talked making feel more tranquil.
"Ok," I sobbed. I tried my best to think of something to say but I could not seem to muster the words. So I let him message all the tension out of my body.
"Thez cannot be apping!" Antoine said at the next meeting.
"This is a shock to us all sugar twon," Bunny said. I got up from my seat and walked up to the front of the hut. I could see that all the Freedom Fighters eyeing me, trying to see how far the baby has developed. I really did not now what to talk about. There was so much to handle at one time.
"I know this seems like a lot but… right now there is not much we can do." I looked outward hoping one of the members would say something that would give me an idea of what to say. For a while, the group stayed silent, just looking at me with undivided attention. I grew nervous. This was the first time I had not a planed word to say.
"Sally, what will you be doing about this?" Antoine finally asked. I thought a moment. "I'm not sure… I…" before I got a chance to finish the sentence, Rotor cut in.
"Sally and I have talked and we feel that it's best she stay back and rest. That way, we will be sure that Robotnick will not find out, and she can stay safe." The room fell silent again. It began to look as though they did not want to hear what they had.
"I'm sorry if this makes things difficult but it's what we have to do," Rotor said. The big question now was who would replace me. Many times before Sonic had tried to convince me to let him train Tails but I would never allow it. He was just too young then and I felt that he needed some more schooling before we even think of putting on the Freedom Fighters. But as the things where at that moment, we had no other choice. He was going to replace me.
"So that's it then," Sonic said. "I guess so sugar" Bunny added. I don't know what happened just then, but I felt this sudden wave of nausea. It started at the pit of my stomach and slowly rose up. "Sall? You all right?" Sonic asked.
"Oh God," was all I could say as I got up to run to the bathroom. When I reached the bathroom I saw that Bunny had fallowed. I felt relieved to have her there. Then suddenly, like an eruption of a volcano, I vomited. "Oh god…. That was horrible," I said as I sat with my back to the wall. Bunny sat next to me.
"Yea…. It was one of the worst things for me. I always seemed to run to the out house during dinner. Sugar you should'a seen it. Sally-girl I swear it was like what just happened to you."
"How did you deal with it…I mean how did you explain to Rotor what you felt?" She smiled. "Well I did the best I could Sall. Unfortunately I was only pregnant for maybe a month or so…" her eyes grew moist as she thought of what happened. She started to cry in subtle sobs, slowling letting out the sadness. I did not know what to say or do. Everything was just so odd for us.
"Oh Bunny," I said in sad tone, "This is not what I wonted at all" I thought Bunny was going to say something but she just sat there looking at her lower paws. I really wonted to make something to happen, something to make it all ok for us.
"Rotor how do you think this will pan out?" I heard Sonic ask. I put my ear to the door so I could hear them more clearly.
"Well Sonic I'm not entirely sure," Rotor replied. What amazed me is how well Rotor was talking this. He was in the same boat as Bunny and he acted as though it didn't really happen at all, more like it happened to someone else.
"So you think Sally will do fine with this or what?"
"Only time will tell Sonic."
"Oh Bunny… How can we do this? You're crying, Sonic is worried, and I couldn't even get through on meeting with out getting sick… This is not good at all," I sighed. I did not know it then, but that day was the start of the downward spiral that led to Sonic's death.
I sat on Rotors table with one hand on my belly. Every now and then I talked to him so he could document how I progressed. So far I have only developed three and one half months. "Ok…. Now… has the baby moved any?" He asked as he felt my swollen tummy. "Do you even have to ask?" I said.
"Ok, I'll take that as a yes. How much?" he moved his hand up and down slowly, almost like Sonic did.
"Only at night when I need my rest. Do you have any idea what it's like to sleep with 15 pounds clapped to your body? It hurts like hell! Rotor I tell you it not well at all." Rotor nodded as though he knew what I meant. He looked close at my stomach them stood up. I felt tried.
"Well… Sall. I'd say you got about month or two. Even still I want you to sleep as much as possible and if you want, exercise slow. Maybe take a walk or something that dose not take much energy." "Ok..." I said. I got off the table and started for the door.
"I'll talk to you later OK?" I said as I walked out.
"Ok," he said. I started towards Tails hut for his daily math lesion. We started math when we deiced to take him into the FF program and so far it has been going well. Sometimes Tails reminds me of how I was with math, so interested to know the workings of numbers.
"Hi Aunt Sally!" He said as I waddled into his room. "Hay Tails how is my big guy?" He looked at me with those wide eyes, full of wonder for the day's lesion.
"I'm ok. What are we going to learn today Sally?" I pulled up a big chair next and sat to down.
"Some geometry, you know some circles and squares. Like this one" I took out a piece of paper and drew a circle with a line going to the middle. Just above the line I put the number 4. "Now can you tell me what the diameter of the circle is?" I asked while handing Tails the paper and pencil. He thought a moment. Looked real hard at the problem then he started to write. Just as he did, my baby kicked. I groaned putting my hand on my baby. I clinched my eyes shut.
"Aunt Sally, are you ok?" He asked, looking up from the paper. The baby kicked just a few times before stopping. I opened my eyes.
"Now… what did you figure out?" Tails stared at me for am moment in complete aw of what just happened. "What's it like to have baby inside Sally?" I was shocked he would ask such a question. But then when you think about it, he had the right to be curios. "Well… Tails it's like… um…. Most of time it's... Well..."I thought a moment. How could I explain to twelve year old that it's odd to have a whole other life form growing inside you like a tape worm? I was tired most of the time; my feet ached, my back hurt like hell, and I was hungry almost all the time, and then the bloating. How could I say all that?
"Well... it's almost like having a small creature that fall asleep on your tummy." "Ok…" he said while lifting one eye brow in confusion. I brushed the little tendrils of his hair out of his eyes with my paw.
"It's time we get back to math Ok? Now if you had that circle with the radios of 4 what would the diameter be?" Tails looked at his writing and thought a moment before answering. "Eight!" I smiled. "Good! Now can you tell what would the circumference be?" He looked at my drawing and started to write again. He looked pensive… really getting into the math of it all. Suddenly, just as he was about to say is answer, Antoine came running in.
" Sally, come quick.!" He looked shocked, almost to the point of death.
"What is it? What happed?" I asked, almost in shock myself. He looked white, his eyes grew big. "B-B-Bunny! Sh-she-she..." he looked to freighted talk. I quickly got up and ran to Rotors hut. I moved to quickly to know what happened next. All I remember was walking in and seeing Bunny's good arm all bruised up.
"What happed? Where's Sonic!" I asked in a hysterical voice.
"Well I was gong for the door, just like and Sonic and I planed. Then out of nowhere this swat bot came up on me. Had a gun the size Mexas! I turned round to see what I could do, but before I had the chance he shot me. I hit the ground hard, yelping for the sugar hog's help. But Sally.. oh Sally…" her eyes grew sad while she moaned in pain. I looked at her longingly, wanting to know more about what happened. But soon she did not have to say a word because Sonic came hobbling in. I was in total distress of what I saw…. For a moment I thought this was all a dream, like this was not really happing. I did not say a word. I just stood there, wondering what to do.
"Sally get me some cloth! Now!" Rotor shouted. I did as he asked. I put the cloth on Sonic's arm to dab up the blood. He looked right at me as I worked.
"Sally it was awful," he started to say, "I don't" He coughed hard, spiting up small amounts of blood. Even though I had a task to do I was still unsure on how to act. My own love, my joy in life was now wounded.
"Don't just stand there Sally, Keep going!" Rotor demanded as he quickly worked on Bunny's bruises. I moved fast, to fast for me to think about anything else but the task at hand.
"They got me…" he continued to cough. I stopped working.
"Sonic... Baby… just let me work OK…. Let me do…" I sobbed. At the time I thought this was too much for me. Maybe it was… or maybe it was the total shock of seeing my one true love hurt, or maybe I could not handle the all medical procedures… or maybe…. I was finally too tired of shutting out the "real me"
"NO! I can't so this!" I shouted. I threw down my tools and stormed out the door. I started to cry hard… not knowing what feeling to express except sadness. Antoine came running up from Tails hut. He panted as he ran.
"Sally what iz appening?" he asked. I contented to cry, not answering him. I heard him go inside. "I'm not sure. She was doing fine and then just lost it! How is Tails? What is he dong" I heard Rotor ask. "Madam Dulcy iz taking care of zim," Antoine panted. "Good, go and see what Sally is doing." I saw him walk out cautiously, like I was some wiled animal ready to mule him. I turned to face him, not sure on what he would do.
"My princess, you look distressed. Zee baby iz not likeing something, no?" I sobbed.
"I can't do this, I can't Antoine! I feel..." Suddenly the baby kicked. I moaned hard, grabbing my belly. I saw the fear in his eyes, the panic for what would happen next. "Why!" I asked myself. Why was the baby kicking so hard now, why did I have to stand here and proceed with this Sherrod of fake emotions and thoughts.
"Sally, y-y-you m-m-must be inside n-n-now," Antoine stuttered in horror. I didn't move. What I began to feel was no longer kicking. It was a strong, piercing contradiction.
"I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS!" I screamed loudly. Rotor came out running to the sound of my voice.
"What happened? Ant..."
"She… I She…ohhhhh" Antoine fainted. Rotor picked him up promptly and brought him inside. I stayed where I was, not wanting to move or do anything but stop the pain. I moaned. This was all happing way to fast. One minute I was having everyday kicks from my baby and now it wanted out. I tried to coax my body to relax but I did not seem to work. I was feeling too stressed. I screamed loudly, calling for Rotors help. This was just too much for me. That I knew. My body, although in intense pain, felt like going every ware at once. It's hard to explain now, but I think my labor was my body's way of lifting some of the stress. To take some wait of, so to speak.
"Sally what's happening! Are you alright!" Rotor asked as he came out the door.
"What the fuck do you think?" I shouted. He grabbed my hand and led me into the hut, not even saying a word. Before I go on with my story I have to tell you that things move fast so you'll have to keep up. Or else you'll miss the saddest of things to have ever happened.
I remember lying on the wooden table with a thin cloth covering me. Rotor kept moving around me like a hovering bee, fast. I saw Sonic lying next to me. I think that was the first time I really saw how bad he was beaten, not only in the physical sense, but in the emotional sense as well. For so long time he had been able to get around the obstacles of Robotnick. He has been able to do so much, and now he was reddened helpless. I can't explain how or why but seeing him made my body relax. I took a deep breath and tried to sit up.
"Sally don't. I think its best you lye down, for the baby's sake," Rotor said. I looked deep within Sonics eye.
"What happened?" I asked. He talked slow, spitting up blood between every word.
"I was… running to get Bun…. Bunny when they got me. I tried to right them off…. But something, I' not sure what, hit me in the back of my throat. Sally… baby…. I….They came so…. I think they hit me when I was thinking of you….. When…." He coughed. It pained me so much to see him like this… defeated and down. His eyes sagged with the bags frailer. For a moment as I stared at his beaten body, my own thoughts disappeared.
"He came after….The bastard! And then…. I don't know what happened. I was…. Left back….here….." he glanced back at Bunny. The more he talked the more seemed to not make any sense. She was not in the same state as he was. Bunny had not been hurt as badly, only a scab here or there and of curse the mark where she had been shot. I tried to say something to her but before I got the chance, my belly contracted.
"Sonic I think this is it! Take this" Rotor handed him a white pill. I took a quick glance at substance before Sonic grabbed it. It was mashed powder that looked like a bean concentrate that Antoine often used in his cooking. I wondered what it was and why Sonic had to take it. Usually Rotor refrained from giving us anything but natural herbs.
"Sally how we doing?" He asked me.
"I think…. Rotor I don't know!" I sobbed. Sonic rolled over so he could get a good look at me. My body relaxed again. I remember realizing that my baby seemed to enjoy the sight of Sonic the most. I turned so I could seem him better. He coughed.
"Sally…" he voice sounded so distant, like he was miles away.
"Oh Sonic," I sobbed, "I can't bare to see you so sick. I can't bare any of this anymore. I… I feel so… "I tried my best to say what I felt but it was hard. I think I was still figuring out what I really wonted. It was like even though I wonted out of my old self, I was still conflicted over what new self to present.
Rotor went over to Bunny and saw that she was sleeping. "Good, At least that's one person resting up" He said. I saw him go around and check on everyone. I could not believe that he was still going on after all that has happened. I began to see that he was doing more in one moment then I think I ever did in one mission. I wanted to ask how he was able to keep up with it all, the birthing of my baby, the healing of two members, and the fainting of Antoine. He moved fast, not even blinking.
"Ok…Bunny's asleep, Sonic's sedated, and Sally…How ya doing?" I sobbed hard, letting out a cry that reverberated through out the room. My belly contracted and extended itself to move out the baby. Before it was working slowly, now it was doing overtime, causing me to be in the most pain I had ever been in.
"Oh Sonic…" my voice drifted off into the air. I heard his table creek as he tried to move. He reached out his hand for me to grab on. I did so with weakening strength.
"Ok Sally. Keep at it… Just do what you're doing and you'll be fine ok" Rotor said encouragingly. I remember pressing into Sonic's palm and feeling his life shatter, almost like his soul was being shaken to core of existence. You may find that hard to see, but I felt it. I knew the moment I clamped hands with him that something was dreadfully wrong. His hands were stiffer and colder then they normally would be. I shuddered and cried.
"Sally," Sonic coughed, "I am here with you. Always know that!" What he said caught me off guard. He never talked like that before. He always sounded so hopeful and ready to take on anything. Back then, even though I knew something was amiss, I figured he was tired from the days fight. But it was more then just his fatigue. It was his movement; so slow and weak. I cringed in pain. This time it was sharp, like spikes tearing through my skin.
"ROTOR," I screamed. He jerked his head fast.
"What is Sally?" My belly contracted. "Sally what's wrong?" The baby moved fast causing every spike to tear my stomach bit by bit. I shrieked loud still holding on to Sonic's hand.
"Sally…. I…. don't give up on me. Sally…." Sonic cooed. He talked slow, almost like he was slipping away into nothingness. I squeezed his hand hard hanging on to what I had left. "Ok Sally, I need you to push for me. Just suck it up and push it all out," Rotor said. I took a deep breath and tried but for some reason I felt nothing. I tried it again only to find that it was useless.
"I can't," I sobbed, "I…" The baby moved cutting me a sharp sting. Rotor peered over me with a sad look on his face. "So you see it to," I thought but did not say.
"Sally you have to try ok. Just… breathe in… and out…" he made the sounds of heavy breathing as he talked, thinking that it would encourage me. Suddenly I felt Sonic's hand shake. I held it tighter in effort to keep him. I knew at that moment that he was dying. I felt it all along. The coldness, the way he talked… the coughing. It was all there.
"No…" I cried. There was so much that I wanted to say to him… so much that we had yet to try, so much that we needed to do.
"Yes… YOU HAVE TO PUSH!" Rotor insisted, still peering over me. I closed my eye and gave it a try. I started out slow, working myself up the actual push. Then, in mist all the hurt and sobs, something amazing happened. I could feel Sonic's life slowly slip away. For a moment we where connected. Not only by the touch of the hand, but by the touch of the soul. He looked right at me and gradually breathed theses words.
"I love you." And just like that his presences little by little faded into death. His hands cooled off before gingerly stiffening. His eyes clouded over with slight gray that exemplified the cold darkness I was about to enter. A tear fell from the corner of my eye socking the cloth underneath me.
All I felt was sad. There is no other word to express what I experienced then just plain sad. It was like part of me had died along with him.
"Sally come on… the head is crowning. Come one….." Rotor still coached me along, even though by then it was hopeless. I lost the one I loved and no one was going to change that. I was as good as dead.
"Sally just one more push…. just one…." I can't really explain what happened next; all I remember is a white light glowing around everything I saw. Then, almost as if the world had stopped, everything was motionless. At first I thought this to be my own death. But after only short moment I saw that it was not my death… but my awaking. I know that alone seems weird but there is no other way to express it. For a moment I was outside my body looking down. I saw Rotor holding my hand constantly helping the baby out. Antoine lay still as though nothing had happened at all. I went over to Bunny and noticed that she was still breathing slightly. I saw the wounds all over her body and how they seemed to bruise ones skin by the simple look of the eye. Then, just as quickly as I left my body, I had returned.
"Sally just one more push and I think we got it," Rotor said. I don't know why but my body started pushing without my mind having to say so. The baby moved quickly, tarring out the vary insides of my body. I wonted to scream and yell all at the same time. "The pain…The ripping..." I gasped. I felt like my heart was ripping in two. On one hand I was getting new baby, but on the other, I lost my only love that I shall ever have. Even after I saw how good my life still was, I still could not feel it. I think there are times when feel so down that you only see the darkness in the Ying Yang of life. You pass into a state of submission and feel almost nothing.
"Congratulations Sally! You have a baby BOY!" Rotor said enthusiastically. He rapped the baby up in a small white cloth and gingerly handed it over to me. My eyes drooped back and forth; not ready to allow myself to see my baby. I was still sore but not enough to bother me.
"Sally he looks just like Sonic! Sally you have to see this!" He raved. I slowly turned to lie on my side. I saw the empty remains of Sonic lying on the bed. He looked too smashed and broken. I tried to convince myself that he was just sleeping and would awake by the touch of my hand. But he felt to cold.
"Sally… Just take a look. You have to see this!" I sat up. "There you go little one." He placed the baby in my hands and I saw that he was just like Sonic. He had he spikes, the blue hair the eyes, everything. The baby looked around and for no reason at all, started to cry. I stared at it blankly not sure on how to comfort it. Its voice got louder and louder, piercing the very drums of my ears. "What in the hoo ha is that racket?" Bunny said while awaking from her sleep. "Bunny your AWAKE! In the commotion of this I almost forgot you! Sweetie how are you feeling" Rotor quickly ran over to care for her while I sat with a crying baby in my arms. He told her about the baby and Sonic's death as he tended to her. I saw the love and care in his eyes and began think that I would never see the same feeling again. I would never see Sonic's eyes gaze into mine, the way he used to touch my hair; the way… he used to do everything.
"Oh Sugar Hog!" Bunny cried. "He was so young!" She held Rotor close. My baby gave a little cry as if to ask "Mommy why are you so sad?" I pecked my little baby on the cheek and put him close to me.
"You are all I have left"
"He's so cute Aunt Sally!" Tails said while giving little Jr. a tickle. It had been exactly one week since his birth and so far nothing good had come. The first night, I have to say, was the hardest. I put little Jr. on my lap and began to breast feed him. When I had read about it in books I had always thought would be a calming experience, to have your little one drink your milk. But it's not like that at all. It hurt and made my breast sore. I cringed as he began drink.
After I while it seemed he drained me dry.
"Ok…. now how about a nap" I said as I unhooked him. He yawned happily stretching his tiny fists up high. I placed him down in freshly made crib made by Rotor.
"There…." I pushed the covers just under his neck. He looked so cute in those covers and more like Sonic then earlier. As I saw him drift to sleep I could not help but cry. I was not ready for this yet and I certainly was not ready to do this alone. I wanted Sonic to be here to see this; I needed Sonic to be here. There was no way I was going to get through it all.I sat back on my bed and did nothing. Suddenly, Rotor came in.
" Hay Sall, hows the little one?" I gave the single that he had to be quiet as possible.
"Ok." he whispered. I sat back in my bed and pulled the covers over me just enough to warm ever sore body. Rotor came around to my side. "So have been hurting any?" he asked. What a question. Have I been hurting? More like, "Did the sun rise?" It was obvious that I was in pain more ways then one. I rolled my eyes.
"Ok…I guess I should just leave you to rest, I'll check back tomorrow," he whispered. I rolled over comfortably and nudged myself in a cove of warmth and fell right to sleep. I dreamt of seeing Sonic again. He was right there in front of me waiting for my return; as if I had been the one who left.
"So there you are," he said looking right into my eyes. I let out my hand, stretching it to meet his.
"I have never left," I said. He came closer. He looked at my belly gave it a slight stroke.
"Well I see someone has." I smiled. "Well… I um…yea… he's asleep," I talked slow; in compete surprise that I was actually seeing him.
" I know..." He continued to converse about things he saw and things he had yet to see about death. It was all so magical to see and hear his voice. To have for a short moment what I had lost. Then, when he said all that could say, he vanished, like a leaf in the winds. I was alone once more. That was one week ago today.
"He ez zo cuddly," Antoine said while he picked him up. "And he looks so much like Sonic. I just can't believe it," Dulcy said. "Yea… he sure does…" A sullen air seemed to cloud the room. Everyone appeared sadder by the mention of his name. For a while no said much of anything. They just admired Jr.'s likeness to him in hopes of keeping alive the only reminder of him we have.
The days after his death lingered on like a snail's pace, still and unmoving. I cannot say that things are getting better, or that they will. The only thing I can say for sure is that we are still alive and well. We may have lost someone near and dear to us… but we also gained another. So all in all I say it's not as bad as one would think.