Author's Notes: Ok, I gotta brief you on this. First of all, if you have not seen the musical, and do not want some of the plot spoiled for you, stop reading right now! This fic will definitely give away some of the story.
This story is based entirely and completely on Wicked the musical. You don't see much of Nessarose after the song 'The Wicked Witch of the East', and she's got to go through at least something before the... unfortunate event. So I'll warn you that a lot of this story will come from my imagination, since the musical skimps on details a bit. If I seem to get too far out there, yell at me and I'll fix it. :-)
Enjoy the story!
"Alone and loveless here, just the girl in the mirror..."
Nessa's heart feels like it is about to work out of her chest. The thought that she at least has one floats through her mind, but she pushes it away irritably. She stares at the door, the one that Boq had just ran out of.
"Boq!" She calls, one more time, uselessly hoping that he was still close enough to hear her - and that he would respond. She sits down in the wheelchair, heavily. She doesn't need it any more, but the feel of the large chair surrounding her brings some much needed comfort.
Why had she told Boq that Elphaba had done it? She sighs. Essentially, Elphaba had been the one to turn him to tin, but she would never have had to if it wasn't for Nessa. As these thoughts run through her mind, a tear slips down her cheek. All she had wanted was for Boq to love her... and now he probably hated her. Sure, he was still alive, but now he was lost to her forever.
She wipes away the single tear. It was strange, how her emotions always seemed to take hold of her with such strength, but she hardly ever cried. Really cried, with puddles of tears and ragged sobs and that feeling of pure exhaustion that seemed to follow the pouring out of one's soul.
As she sits in the wheelchair, silently reflecting, one sentence swims up in her consciousness and plays in her ears.
"You and your sister! She's as wicked as you are!"
Boq's voice rings out, full of disgust, so clearly that she looks over at the door before realizing that it's only her memory. She smiles stonily, at her own foolishness, but the smile fades as she remembers how he had looked at her... with such repugnance. Even after his features had turned to tin, she could see it there.
As her mind continues down that track, she finds a spot of cold anger beginning to bubble up in her chest. Elphaba. Why couldn't she have just stayed in hiding, rescuing her precious Animals? If she hadn't come back, things could have kept going as they were. She would have been just as happy carrying on with the facade, pretending that Boq was with her out of his own free will and not because she was the Governess. The cold feeling spreads to her throat as she realizes that she would have stayed wheelchair-bound if it would keep Boq with her. As it is, she knows that she will do anything to get him back. He obviously can't have any hope of winning over Glinda now. Now that he looked the way he did. She thinks they could make the perfect pair, herself and Boq. Both of them are imperfect, flawed.
She remembers looking at flawed gemstones once, as a girl. Some of them had hairline cracks running through them, some had strange, off-colour spots deep inside them. She wonders, if she could look, what she might find deep inside herself. Maybe she is green inside. Something has to explain the feelings she has...
Nessa's thoughts are broken as the butler steps into the doorway. "Madam Governor?" The munchkin servant says. Nessa turns to him. Is that a hint of fear she can detect in his eye? She wonders what the servants thought when they witnessed a man made out of tin storm out of the house.
"Yes?" She replies, remaining in her seat. She turns her dark eyes on him, and the corner of her mouth twitches up as he seems to squirm, just a little.
"Sh - Shall I take you d - down to dinner, now?" Nessa's eyes grow more alert. There was a definite stutter in the butler's voice. Of course! Wheeling Nessa around had always been Boq's job. The butler must fear for his own... appearance. It's time to end the facade.
Nessa stands up. "No, I will take myself." She says coldly, enjoying the how the shock spreads across the butler's face as she passes him in the doorway and begins to descend the stairs.
AN: I do not own Wicked, Boq, or Nessa. I'm really liking this chance to explore her character, though. :-)
I wrote this chapter in present tense. Will I ever learn? :-p
Thanks for reading,