The next morning, I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could, without waking them. They were both light sleepers, habits that stemmed from the war. Silently, I grabbed a robe and tiptoed my way out of the bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind me.
It was still early, I think about five in the morning. The house was quiet, with the early rays of the sun seeping through the half closed blinds. Walking silently across the corridor, I opened the door to the balcony and stepped out into the cool, fresh air.
Last night had been everything and nothing like I had imagined. It was amazing and wonderful and ineffable. They were gentle, loving and immeasurably careful to keep me comfortable. I think I wound up in tears afterwards, just from the incredible amount of pleasure that they brought me.
It's not just physical, dammit. It's…it's about comfort, care and love. Until last night, I had been so apprehensive about the intimacy but…making love and loving them is the same thing. What I feel for them is constant, forever.
Watching the slow sunrise, I thought about the events that had taken place over the course of my life. I thought about the life on the streets I thought about solo and the plague. I thought about the church. I thought about pilot training, Deathscythe, the war, Trowa, Quatre, Heero, Wufei…
I thought about the night Heero self-destructed.
I thought about the grief that Wufei and I shared that night.
I thought about despair, loneliness, pain, blood, and sacrifices…
…then I thought about love.
How ironic is it that I ended up in the very same place that I was running from? In between two of the most wonderful people who love each other? Who I love, and who love me?
I must have thought of a thousand different scenarios involving the three of us. But somehow, this one never came up.
I think…that they might be right. Perhaps I do deserve this. Maybe I was meant to love them, and them, me. Because after last night, I don't think I can live without them.
Warm, warm arms slipped around me and I froze, startled.
"It's just me." Heero's husky voice sounded beside my ear and my body automatically relaxed against his. He kissed my temple softly, his breath ghosting across my skin.
"Hey." I murmured back as he grabbed my hands and intertwined his fingers with mine.
"Are you all right?"
"Yeah. More than alright." I turned in his arms and smiled at him, brushing the tousled, unruly bangs from his face. Rising up to my tiptoes, I kissed him softly, my hand stroking his cheek. "What are you doing up so early?"
"You scared Fei." I pulled back, shocked. "He thought you might have left." Heero explained, his eyes searching mine.
"No. I would never leave. Especially not after last night…" I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye and found Wufei standing by the doorway. "Wufei…"
He came closer to us and Heero wrapped one arm around him, bringing the three of us together in an embrace. Staring into the inky depths of onyx, I clasped his hand tightly.
"I won't leave."
He gave me a tight nod as his eyes shimmered with unshed tears. "I love you."
"We love you." Heero corrected, his strong arms tightening around us.
"I-I know." I replied. "I-I love you too."
I got kissed then by a very passionate Wufei and did my best to return them. "Come back to bed?" Wufei sighed against my cheek.
"Yeah." And I let Heero lead us back inside, towards the warmth. Wrapped in their arms, for the first time since ever, I felt complete.
Behind us, the sun emerged with its blinding brilliance, signaling a new day.
And that was the real beginning of the rest of our lives.