AIN'T MISBEHAVIN'
Hangover

"Good morning, Mister Black! And how are we feeling today?"

Sirius Black groaned at the torture provoked by Remus Lupin's cheery voice and threw the nearest item he could find at him. "Get away from me, you sadist."

Lupin let the sock fall into the potted plant at the end of the bed and placed the tray he carried on the nightstand. Then he threw himself onto the bed to sit down by his friend rather enthusiastically.

Sirius' body plopped up and down as the spring responded to the additional weight, so he lurched his head to the side of the bed looking rather green. "Have you no mercy?"

"After your behavior last night?" Lupin considered this before bouncing the mattress again, "No."

"Enough!" Sirius sat up holding his head. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Let me think. Could it be that you accused your cousin Tonks of being, shall we say, a heartless man-eater?"

Sirius peeked through his hands. "Damn, I thought that was a dream! Wait. I remember now."

Sirius completely removed his hands and looked at Lupin with chagrin. "No, I couldn't have."

Lupin merely kept that horribly false smile on his face and nodded the affirmative.

"Tell me that I didn't say you were, uh, celibate?" asked Sirius.

Lupin patted his shoulder and said reassuringly, "Not at all, Padfoot."

"Whew! Well, then I--"

"You used the phrase, now let me think. Ah, yes," began Lupin, "'as virginal as Artemis.'"

Sirius groaned, but Lupin continued. "I was suddenly left with this image of myself frolicking through the woods in a white tunic--"

"Please, spare me--"

"But then Artemis typically has a full moon following her," added Lupin as he tapped a finger on his chin, "so of course, the image shifted to a werewolf wearing the white tunic." He shuddered. "Overall it was very disturbing imagery."

"Thank you so much for sharing, Moony," said Sirius dryly.

"That's what friends are for, Padfoot."

Sirius fell back on the bed with a groan. "Why didn't you just obliterate me?"

"I thought the hangover would be more effective as a punishment," admitted Lupin.

"You're a hard, cruel man, Moony," said Sirius as he opened one eye to look at Lupin.

"Yes, that's why I brought you some toast, juice and," Lupin reached for the book under the napkin, "your book."

"My book!"

Lupin was suddenly having his face licked by a large black dog. "Ew, doggy hangover breath! Get off, Snuffles!"

Snuffles transformed back into Sirius and grabbed his head again. "Remind me never to change when I'm hung over."

"I'm going to need a cleansing spell now," said Lupin as he wiped at his chin.

"So, how did you manage to swipe my book?" Sirius was looking at Lupin as if he were a miracle worker.

"I asked Arthur for it," said Lupin. "He was quite pleased to let it go."

"You're trying to bribe me, aren't you?" asked Sirius with suspicion as he grabbed the book from Lupin and tapped it with his finger.

"Only for your good behavior," responded Lupin, but now he had a sincere smile as he looked at his friend. "Look, Tonks and I know your heart was in the right place when you confronted us last night. Have some faith that our hearts will be, too. We're enjoying each other's company for now, but this relationship between us seems to keep growing."

"Aren't you scared, Moony?"

"Yes, but this time, I'm going to find out for myself if I have the courage to make things work." Lupin's voice held that familiar resolve. He smiled lightly as he added, "I think Nymphadora Tonks is worth the risk. I don't know what she could see in me though. Perhaps we'll never be more than just friends."

"You underestimate yourself as usual, Remus," said Sirius gently. Then he added as a warning, "But if either one of you starts behaving stupidly, I reserve the right to transform you into ferrets and bounce you around the room ala Moody until you come to your senses."

Lupin suddenly burst into laughter, "Now you really have me petrified. Do you remember when Moody did that to us when we met him in fifth year during our OWLs? What were we arguing about?"

Sirius had been laughing as well and had to wipe a tear from his eye. "You know, I can't for the life of me remember. Probably arguing over who would make the better auror."

Lupin admitted as he sobered up, "Never have cared for ferrets since then."

"Me neither," agreed Sirius. "So when are you seeing Tonks again?"

"Probably tomorrow. We're escorting the young ones to Hogsmeade; they insist on sending Harry some candy from Honeyduke's for his birthday. This will be the best time to go," Lupin said.

Sirius perked up.

"Don't even think it. You had best stay here," warned Lupin as he left.

Sirius just grunted and reached for the toast. Lupin and Tonks. He shook his head, then he grinned. Perhaps he'd transform them into bunnies if they hit a snag in their relationship. He laughed evilly until he started choking on a piece of toast. He coughed, rolled his eyes heavenward and grumbled, "Fine, I bet ferrets get friendly, too."

Sirius chomped on his toast with a clear conscience and leaned back against his headboard to finally enjoy his book.

The End

Author Notes:

I thought the story was a bit incomplete without a morning after discussion between Remus and Sirius, so here it is. And thanks for reviewing to let me know how the stories are working for you. I appreciate the time you take. (Alatariel, I've found the wolfandlady LJ and will try to participate, so thanks for the heads up!)

This also gives me a chance to respond to some comments. This story is part of a series that I've been posting. If you want to read the others, just hit Queriusole and start reading the stories in the list from the bottom. However, I'm trying to make each one a stand alone, so if you don't want to trouble yourself, you don't have to. I'm posting stories about every 7-10 days

I wasn't sure if my background for Tonks and Remus would make my version of their story unpopular, but then, when you write, you have to write to please yourself most of all. I'm glad that you are open to this interpretation.

About Remus and sex. JKR has painted his lycanthropy similar to a chronic illness rather than the mythical aspect presented in movies. Chronic illnesses involving pain, especially in juveniles, typically have a negative impact on physiological as well as psychological features of sexuality. Although the Marauders being animagi helped Remus during his adolescence, it isn't until the wolfsbane potion that Remus describes being able to curl up in his office during full moon and remain placid, although he obviously still has his bad moons. This should decrease self-injury, thereby decreasing pain, thereby allowing his "normal" sex drive to begin to emerge. With the help of Tonks, of course.

Yes, their relationship will progress, but what I'm trying to set up in the first month or so of their acquaintance is the background for their interactions when we first saw them together in the Advanced Guard chapter for the Order of the Phoenix. I have plans for a full moon adventure before they bring Harry back, but...

Next up, a visit to Hogsmeade. And the Shrieking Shack? Sure, why not. Look for it in about a week if you're still interested.