It was Platform 9 ¾. The day outside was rainy and cold-- as was every day-- but the platform was warm from the steam given off by a brilliant red train. A raven haired boy walked forward, carrying a trunk and a snowy white owl. It was the start of the raven haired boy's 6th year. This wasn't just any raven haired boy. This was THE raven haired boy. The-Boy-Who-Lived by subduing He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named for about 12 years. As he plastered his raven hair against his forehead, his green eyes danced. He was going back to Hogwarts, where he would be with his friends, and everything that was dear to him. The-Wizarding-School-Called-Hogwarts-Because-Everyone-Loves-A-Good-Dose-Of-Hyphenated-Overdose was a renowned Wizarding school which was composed mostly of transfer and exchange students-- mostly from America-- then students that actually were accepted there.

Continuing to walk forward, Harry boarded the crimson machine, and headed for the back of the train to the compartment usually occupied by his two best friends, Ron and Hermoine. As Harry slid open the door to enter, he saw a blushing Hermione and Ron. Ron had tousled hair and a trail of something red near his lips and on his neck. Hermione was adjusting her robes.

"'Hullo, Harry." Ron and Hermoine said.

"Hullo, Ron, Hermione." Harry said, sliding the door closed. "Ron, you got a bit of red right there. Probably from Hermione's lipstick."

Hermoine looked shocked. "I don't wear lipstick."

"And we weren't doing anything." Ron said nervously.

"Probably should get that checked out then, mate." Harry said, sitting.

As soon as Harry sat down, he felt the familiar rumble of Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe coming down their part of the train. Draco Malfoy slid open the door and walked in haughtily.

"Well Weasley. From the bright redness of both your face and hair, I think I just got a tan."

"Shove off, Malfoy." Ron said angrily, getting up to punch him.

"Ron! The insult wasn't even good!" Hermione said, holding him back.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Pott--" Draco said, then stopped.

Everything stopped moving, except for Harry and Draco's eyes. They looked into each other's irises, and Draco's heart suddenly softened; Harry's heart reached out to it. Suddenly, their fleeting looks of love passed. Time began moving, and Draco Malfoy and his cronies left.

"What in bloody hell was that, Harry?" Ron said.

"Oh, they always make me gay in these things..." Harry said absentmindedly, looking out the window, thinking of his dead godfather.

"Wha... what the hell?! Gay? In what things?" Ron continued.

"Hmm...?" Harry said, hearing the screams of his mother and crying silently, his green eyes sparkling.

At that moment, Neville Longbottom and Ginny Weasley came into the compartment.

"Hullo all." They both said.

"Hello, Harry." Ginny said, inching close to Harry, throwing dirty looks to a seizuring Ron. "How was your summer?"

"Sorry, Ginny," Harry sighed. "They never make me bisexual in these things."

Ginny sat stunned. "Bisexual?! Things? What things?" She looked around the room for an answer. Hermione was too busy reading to have heard anything that had happened, Neville was looking for what was now a 6 year old captive toad, and Ron was still seizuring from the sight of his sister flirting.

At that moment, an author dropped-- literally-- from out of nowhere. "Hello guys!"

At this, everyone looked up. Hermoine looked unperturbed.

"Where's your friend?" She said nonchalantly.

"What… what are you talking about?" The mysterious new girl said.

"Usually the writers bring a friend to wreak havoc in our school." Hermione continued.

"Well... I….waitaminute! You guys aren't supposed to act out of character until I've wreaked more havoc!" The girl said.

"Don't worry, we'll get back in character when Mary-Sue shows up." Harry interjected.

"Oh, and while we're on the subject, could you not fawn over Snape the way your kind usually does? It's revolting." Ron said, convulsing.

"I... well. This normally doesn't happen." The girl said in shock.

"Where IS your friend?" Harry said, his hopes up for a boy. Or an Asian girl.

"Well... she... I..." The girl coughed.


"I... um... don't have any friends. I spend all my time inserting myself into the Harry Potter fanfics I write."

But at that moment, Neville began weeping. At this, everyone turned to look at him. In his hands was a very squished toad named Trevor.

"Oh... Neville... I'm so sorry." Hermione and Ginny said, coming to his side.

"Oh... oh." Neville said, looking down at Trevor. "That's not why I'm crying."

Hermoine and Ginny pushed Neville away from them and resumed their normal seats. "Then why are you crying?" Harry and Ron queried.

"I just remember something."

"Wicked!" Ron said. "That's a first! What did you remember?"

"That there have been so many Harry Potter Parodies done already. And they're just as bad as the things they mock." At this, the girl comforted him.

"Don't worry, Neville. I'm sure we'll get you nice and out of character. Maybe i'll whip you up a transfer student to go out with. How about it?"

"Um... no thanks. Especially since you're not even the actual writer writing this..."

"Oh... right... well I could never be as classy as the actual writer." The girl said, winking.

"Hold it right there!"

Everyone looked to see a boy standing there.

"Who are you?" Ginny asked.

"I'm another writer of Harry Potter fanfics. And I must say, this girl has broken code. She's not the writer of this story, but the writer of this story made her compliment herself. That's doing the same thing she's parodying."

Most of the group raised their eyebrows. "Um... what?"

"Hold on a minute!" The girl said. "Boys don't write Harry Potter fanfics!"


And with that, the burgundy train screeched to a halt at the Hogsmead station to bring the students to Hogwarts. And of course...

It was raining.

…To be continued?

Note: Characters copyright to J.K. Rowling, except the irritating extras added in for your... my... no one's benefit? Sorry if this has offended anyone, and sorry to have written this. I will try and add more. It sucks, I know. But hey, what's another parody? Right? Wrong! But none-the-less, thanks for stopping by. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Keep on truckin'... or rather, wizardin'... or... something...thanks for reading! Should be another chapter soon, probably... hopefully... better then this.

(Revised 11/22/07)