-:::-
.::- WHISPERED SCREAMS -::.
-:::-

!Disclaimer!

Final Fantasy VIII and all of its characters are property of Square Enix.

!Author!

Angry Angel

Please do not copy or publish anywhere else without my consent.

!Warnings!

Yaoi (boy love with the pairing Seifer x Squall), crude language, non-con/SA/rape, abuse, self-harm, mental health issues, angst, descriptive violence, smut, fluff, AU (Alternate Universe).

This story was originally published many years ago. Please keep in mind that much has changed since then (technology etc.)! My writing style has also changed over the years, so I have revised some of my old chapters to be more seamless.

!Summary!

Seifer Almasy is the son of two successful doctors. He's clever, athletic and almost too handsome for his own good, yet his life cannot exactly be labeled a happy one. He struggles with his sexuality and his identity, and is ultimately forced to change schools during his senior year. Though he is ambitious and energetic, he has no greater goal in life. None at all - except to escape from the seemingly so rough life that he's leading.

Squall Leonhart is the oldest child of a deep-down broken family. He struggles to keep up a façade of contentment, paying a high price for a happiness that is nothing but an illusion. Though he is intelligent and kind, he's also a loner for reasons that few could ever fathom. His childhood has been ruined by the dark secret he has been keeping for years, and though he'd have all reason to break free from the pain that binds him, he has no intention of leaving his past behind.

Seifer and Squall are two teenagers that are bound to meet and clash eventually, ultimately entwining their lives for better... or for worse.


.
Chapter 1
The Road and the Damned

"Whatever."
-:-

"Shit, I'm gonna be late... fuck my life. Fuck."

Hurling his bags onto the flat bed of his red pickup truck, a tall blond teenager by the name of Seifer Almasy was cussing up a storm. The noisy male didn't care whether his temper would wake the folks in his nice suburban neighborhood at this ungodly hour on a Tuesday morning; honestly, he had far more pressing things on his mind. This was the first day of school after summer break - more so, his very first day as a student of Deling City High - and he was going to be late.

He had moved to this town mere weeks ago, spending most of his vacation setting up his apartment and getting acquainted with his new "home", or whatever you wanted to call it. Technically, home was about a three hour drive away, in Balamb City, where his parents lived, but for reasons that he usually hated to elaborate on, Seifer was now stuck in this place - a grand eighteen years old, and all by his sweet, hotheaded lonesome.

To make matters worse, he had been forced to change schools before the beginning of his senior year, which would most likely result in his grades dropping yet another notch. Not that they had actually needed a shove down the grade curve - they had been steadily descending towards rock bottom all on their own.

Well, in any case, he had little more than twenty minutes to get his ass in gear, to school, and somehow into his math class without the crucial knowledge of where said class was even held at.

Yep, things sure weren't looking good for the home team, thank you very much.

As Seifer leaped into the driver seat of his brand new truck and slammed the door shut, he could practically hear the voice of his mother in the back of his mind, nagging him with possibly well-meant and definitely annoying pieces of advice that he never actually bothered to follow, anyway.

"Have you checked with your counselor yet? Have you figured out all the places you need to go? Which classes are you going to take? Have you talked to the football coach about your missed summer practice? Have you made any friends yet? Are you sure you don't need anything else? And please don't forget what your father and I told you about... well, you know what."

Mothers sure had an impeccable talent of being so very goddamn irritating and patronizing with their uncalled-for demonstrations of parental care. Apparently, Seifer's mother thought that his bisexuality (she refused to voice the term, and usually referred to it as "you know what") caused permanent stupidity. In her perfect little world he was completely clueless about how to properly take care of himself. But hey, he was a legal adult now, and he believed that he could take care of himself just fine. He didn't have much of a choice in the first place, being stuck in Deling City on his own and what not.

Besides... she and her husband, Seifer's father, were the ones who had kicked the blond to the proverbial curb in the first place.

Sighing, Seifer flipped his car key in the ignition and started the engine. He'd have to hurry and break some land speed records if he held any notion of making it to class in time - and he did, astounding as it was.

Dawn was already streaking the greyish sky with bright hues of pink and orange, but luckily traffic wasn't picking up on his side of town just yet. Seifer was able to pull onto the road and head towards school without passing much more than the occasional delivery truck and other, fellow early birds that were headed to work or wherever.

As he stretched his long, lean body and let out a yawn, Seifer cast a bored glance into his rear view mirror to check out his own reflection. As usual, he was pleased with what he found; gazing back at him was the clean-cut, angular face of a very tanned, blond high school senior, as well as a pair of strident jade green eyes that were sparking with a cocky, easy kind of charm. He was a handsome young man, as he was told often enough. In fact, Seifer could easily be taken for your stereotypical high school jock, since he was a natural athlete who excelled at any sport he'd ever bothered to pick up. He wasn't exactly an honor roll student, but he also didn't carry any aspirations for geniusdom or a career in medicine, as much as his parents would have rejoiced. Seifer was a guy who knew well of his weaknesses and strengths, though he usually tended to underrate the first and overrate the latter. All in all, he looked like any handsome, privileged kid that didn't have a single worry to his name.

Of course, things were never quite as perfect as they might have seemed at first sight.

Just as he was tapping the steering wheel in boredom and quietly hummed along a tune broadcasted by his favorite local rock station, a sudden flash of black in his rear view mirror caught Seifer's attention. Irritated, he glanced out of his side window and onto the street that was still slick with rain from the night. Then, Seifer suddenly reeled backwards with a sound of surprise, completely taken aback by a motorcyclist launching by his driver side at neck-breaking speed.

The blond arched an eyebrow.

"What the hell?"

As the biker cut into the lane in front of him, his brake lights hardly even flashing, Seifer scowled. He couldn't stand to be passed, particularly so if he was already going way faster than the speed limit dictated.

What the fuck was that guy thinking?

"... Why, I think you just earned yourself a free lesson, lil' biker boy."

With a roguish grin, Seifer quickly changed gears and mashed his foot down upon the accelerator. He had always despised motorcyclists - their dipshit attitude never meshed well with his own. Usually they'd try to mess with him, and he'd happily mess right back.

By all means, today was no exception.

He was closing in on the biker fast, and he certainly didn't bother to set his turn signal as he swerved into the passing lane. Smirking, he whipped his head to his right as he was about leveled with the motorcycle. The guy on the bike was wearing faded blue jeans and dark boots, a black leather jacket, and an equally black helmet. The book bag he had strapped onto his back almost made Seifer pause for a moment; this was quite possibly a fellow student of Deling City High.

'Well... all the more reason to leave a lasting impression.'

Inevitably, the biker turned to face him, and Seifer thought that he could feel the guy's irritation simmering off of him even through his reflective visor.

'Ah, bikers. Nothing but a mind-fuck waiting to happen.'

Giving a smug wave and a thumbs-down, Seifer floored his gas pedal and took off. Glancing into his rear view mirror, he could see the biker following him with his eyes. Sneering and leaning back in his seat, the blond returned to the right lane, and he couldn't deny that he felt pretty damn good about himself.

That was until he heard a powerful exhaust howling to his left.

He turned in what looked like slow-motion, disbelief evident in his angular features. Though he was going fast enough to justify the loss of his license if a cop was just lucky enough to spot him, his eyes were set yet again upon the guy on his black crotch rocket.

Seifer gave a low grunt.

"Motherfucker..."

To make matters worse, the biker flicked up his gloved right hand and flipped Seifer the bird. He continued to hold his middle finger up quite unambiguously, ensuring that the stunned blond had seen it up nice and close, before he curled his hand back around his handlebar and cut in front of Seifer's truck the very moment that their lanes merged.

A hissing sound escaped the blond's lips, and he was rendered speechless for the length of a moment.

"Little fuckin' cunt!"

He slammed his hands down upon the steering wheel in frustration, spitting a few more choice curse words. They were hitting the suburbs again, and just like the biker, Seifer inevitably had to adjust his speed, although he made sure to stick as close to the guy's tail as he possibly could. Honestly, he could have probably breathed down the biker's neck if he had only bothered to stick his head out the window. They had entered the school zone now, and much to Seifer's disappointment, it was obvious that there wouldn't be another chance to pass the asshole straddling the black Honda motorcycle and cut his ego back down to size.

He'd clearly lost their earlier competition of male pride, and one thing was for sure - Seifer was a sore loser.

Annoyed, he followed the biker further down the road and to the massive complex of Deling City High School. They passed track and tennis courts, a football stadium and an outdoors pool, until the biker finally pulled into a parking lot that was already packed with cars and students. Seifer trailed after the guy closely, not letting him out of sight. As soon as the bike had come to a full stop in a vacant parking space, a little ways away from the main crowd, Seifer immediately slammed on his brakes and pulled into the very same spot, effectively blocking the biker in.

Impulse and a very short temper drove the blond to lunge out of his truck and throw his door shut with an earsplitting bang. Meanwhile, the Honda owner had dismounted his bike and stood with his back turned to Seifer. His motions were unhurried, and he didn't even acknowledge the blond's presence. The biker seemed to be a few inches shorter than the brawny eighteen-year-old, and quite a bit more delicate in his build, but his obvious physical disadvantage didn't even quench a hint of Seifer's anger. The blond had barely opened his mouth to give that cocky little wankjob a piece of his mind, when the biker slowly removed his helmet and turned around.

Straight, dark brown hair that was almost artfully tousled fell out of the helmet's confinement into a pale-skinned face that was so obnoxiously handsome it would have stopped anyone in their tracks. Narrowed eyes that were shifting hues from blue to grey stared back at him, and thin, dark eyebrows were mashed together into one of the unfriendliest expressions that Seifer had ever come across. The blond had to blink once or twice, fighting the urge to drop both his jaw and his anger. He wasn't easily impressed by fine looks, but this guy was completely fucking banging.

'Ah shit, are you serious? What the fuck. Did he have to be this hot?'

Seifer swallowed dryly, desperately trying to grind up his aggression that seemed to have spontaneously evaporated. To his surprise, however, the delicious, dark-haired little piece of mind-fuck eased Seifer's way back to anger as if the whole process came entirely natural to him.

"Are you too blind or just too fucking stupid to find your own parking spot?" the brunette biker hissed, his voice threatening, and yet almost bored at the same time.

"Neither. I figured I'd take your spot and beat your skinny little ass in one go, you know, to save some time," the blond snarled in response. "Stupid piece of biker shit."

"Right, thanks. God forbid, I wouldn't wanna miss that sight," the brunette retorted, pouring on the sarcasm.

In return, Seifer adopted his most irritating, teasing intonation and purred, "No problem, sweetheart, I'll be happy to deliver."

"Yeah? What are you gonna do?" the boy snorted arrogantly, eyes glaring unimpressed. "Beat me with your dumb, loud mouth full of hot air?"

"You little piece of-"

"Ah-hem."

Seifer swiveled around at the sound of someone clearing their throat behind him pointedly. There were few things he hated more than to be interrupted, and honestly, he'd been rather unaware of other students stopping in flocks around them to watch his confrontation with the motorcyclist. One of those bystanders turned out to be the guy obviously trying to catch his attention, and he had strategically placed himself right behind the blond.

Annoyed, Seifer gave the youth a curt look-over. The guy was about his height and remarkably slender, with long, wavy auburn hair and stunning, amethyst colored eyes. He was good-looking enough for Seifer to notice, though not particularly the blond's type, considering the dude was wearing a cowboy hat of all things unholy. It didn't even look too shabby in combination with his plain white t-shirt and snug fitting blue jeans, but Seifer had no nerve for such stupid quirks.

Crossing his arms before his broad chest, he slit his eyes at the cowboy with an expression that suggested hostility.

"The fuck do you want?" he snapped, his snide voice holding a note of impatience.

The cowboy grinned lopsidedly, and he tipped his head in greeting.

"Seifer Almasy," he said, mock drama evident in the way he pronounced the blond's name as he took a slight bow, "Meet Squall Leonhart."

He had gestured at someone behind Seifer, and as the blond threw a half-glance over his shoulder, he instantly came to understand who this 'Squall Leonhart' character was supposed to be.

"Whatever," the abrasive brunette biker growled in response to Irvine's introduction, and he visibly tightened his hold around his helmet as he cut his gaze to the side.

Before Seifer had a chance to say anything at all, the asshole named Squall had pivoted on the spot and stalked off into the direction of the school building, leaving his bike somewhere between the curb and Seifer's truck as if he couldn't have possibly cared less.

"Fucking pansy. Who pissed in his Cheerios, anyway..." Seifer found himself mumbling under his breath, while glaring holes into Squall Leonhart's retreating backside.

"Ah, don't mind him, man," the cowboy next to him commented blithely, waving one hand at Seifer in a dismissive gesture. "He's a lil on the, uh, antisocial side, you know? Don't take it personally."

"You got a name, wisecrack?" the blond retorted, while studying the other boy with newly aroused interest.

"Oh. Irvine Kinneas. Pleased to meet ya, and all that jazz."

Seifer couldn't help but tilt his head in question.

"How did you know my name?"

"Your Varsity jacket."

Indeed, the red and white football jacket from his old team that Seifer was currently wearing had been embroidered with his last name. Still, that didn't explain...

"Our track coach mentioned you last practice," Irvine continued, before Seifer had a chance to ask about the revelation of his first name. "Seifer Almasy, all-state football, all-state track and all that other fancy all-state hoopla I can't think of right now. So... when I spotted ya jacket, I thought I'd come over and say wassup."

"Well, wasn't that awfully kind of you."

"Yeah, well, I also figured I'd better keep ya from socking our resident ice princess," the cowboy added. "You looked like you were about to go brawl-happy on his unlucky ass."

"... Ice princess?"

"Squall."

"What ya call him ice princess for?" Seifer inquired curiously, not quite sure how to place that nickname.

Oddly enough, it sounded like something he would make up.

"If you really haven't figured it out yet, by all means, don't let me spoil the fun," Irvine replied with a cryptic grin, before he took a quick glimpse at his wristwatch. "Ah, damn. Hey dude, we better get going, class is about to start."

"Oh, shit. You're right, let's go."

Seifer fished for his bag, retrieving it from the back of his truck. Then, he paused to study his vehicle's position for a moment. The parking job was lousy, no doubt about it, but Seifer found that his give-a-shit was pretty much out of commission right now, so he simply turned away with a shrug.

"Hey," he said, throwing a questioning glance at Irvine, who stared back at him keenly. "You happen to know where Kramer's Math 4 is held at?"

"Edea Kramer?" the cowboy lilted, and his eyes lit up with a kind of teenage rapture that Seifer could have only described as concerning. "Oh, dude, she's like, such a babe! Man! You don't even understand. 'Fine' doesn't even begin to describe it!"

Seifer snorted, following Irvine past crowds of other students and beautiful old oak trees towards the school building.

"That's nice and all, but that's not what I asked, Casanova," the blond corrected him.

"Oh... right," the other youth drawled, as if that thought had only just occurred to him. "Yeah, sure I know where it's at. If that's where you're headed right now, you're in my class."

"Right on."

"Yeah. Let's hurry. Math is one class I definitely don't wanna miss."

And thus was Seifer Almasy's rough start into a school year that would be filled with soaring highs and abysmal lows, and that would - above all things - change his life forever.