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Ok this is my first Yu Yu Hakusho fic so please be gentle with it. Disclaimer-I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho...sadly.

Summery: Botan starts to think about her life, or what it once was, and goes into depression and no one seems to notice, except one person. This is going to be a Hiei/Botan story.

Title: Found in the Darkness

Chapter one: Found Memories

It was a dark night in the hills somewhere in Japan. There sat a blue haired girl who looked out into the sky. Her eyes seemed to shift from pink to purple every now and then. Her left hand rested on a long oar sitting on the ground next to her.

"Well Botan ol' girl, you need to get over it all." She told herself. She lifted her right hand up to her head and put it in it. "The past is the past, and I can't change what has happened." Botan let out a heavy sigh and stood. She looked down at the large city many miles away that looked pretty small from where she stood.

She sat on her oar and got comfortable. She needed to return to Keiko's soon so the girl didn't wake up and freak out like she did last time Botan went out on her own. Keiko had sent everyone out to find her thinking that a demon had been trying to kill her or something.

Botan sighed and kicked off of the ground and flew over the city. She looked down as she flew in and saw the few people that walked around below her. They didn't know how lucky they were. Still living and being able to do as they pleased. She felt a tear appear in her eye again and swiftly wiped it away. 'I have already gotten over this...why do I always cry?!' she thought as she cursed herself for the tears.

She looked up at the sky and stopped, floating in the air, and started moving up a bit. She felt the air get cold and the clouds thickened. She knew it would rain soon and she wanted to get wet. She loved rain, but never did show it. She looked at her hands as she balanced on the oar and smiled. Over the years the only good thing was she didn't age.

She touched her face and smiled. No wrinkles. And at her age. She never would tell anyone. Mostly because she had forgotten. Since she didn't look any older that seventeen, she didn't need to think of how old she was, and in the afterlife it didn't really matter. She felt a raindrop fall on her nose and she let out a giggle. 'Ah, even now I remember the first time I was rain, and got to play in it.'

-Flash Back-

A small Botan sat on the porch of her mother's home. Her father was away again on a business trip in America and wasn't there, so she got to stay with her mother in Japan.. It was her tenth birthday and she couldn't wait. Her mothers stood next to her on the porch and smiled down at her and pat her on the head.

"Botan dear, you should come in the clouds are gathering."

"Why do they do that mommy?" the young Botan asked. The woman played with her blue hair and smiled at her daughter.

"Why Botan, when you were with your daddy in India didn't it rain?" She asked. "Yea, but daddy and nurse Nan never let me out."

"Well you will have to stay with your mother more than, shouldn't you." Botan nodded her head quickly making her mother laugh.

Her mother picked her up with a huff and carried her out under a small tree. She sat with her daughter in her lap and let her watch the rain. She small drops would occasionally come through the leaves and hit them on the heads. Little Botan laughed a lot as her and her mother sat and watched the small town get watered.

-End Flashback-

Botan felt her tears mix in with the rain now pouring down on her. The many people below where running around with papers and umbrellas. She sniffed and felt herself tip a bit. She quickly grabbed it and let out a sob. What would happen if she died again? She might be honored and come back a monkey or something.

Botan sniffed and started to fly downward at top speed. She didn't care much. She landed with a heavy thud in a large tree, her oar snapping and her body continuing to fall down. She landed in a puddle her body going numb. 'I don't care anymore. I don't want anymore memories, any more pain, no more anything!' she screamed in her mind. She felt the oar fall nearby and she looked at it through half closed lids. Her blue shirt that she wore had a rip on the side and down the middle. Her nails had chipped and her shoes and socks where either gone or halfway gone. She timidly reached out for her oar but her energy was gone. She used the last of her energy to do one of the few things people didn't know she could do. She closed her eyes and focused on the one place she wished to go.

She felt her body float through time and space and she felt the ground below her become harder and yet was muddy. She put her hand in the grass and smiled. Genkai's grave was the only place she felt at peace. She looked up at the large rock that Yusuke had out there long ago. Almost a year now since her death, since the dark tournament and all the trouble that they had gone through.

She reached out to it and felt a force touch her. She smiled softly and sat up with the help from the force. She looked at it and smiled. "Genkai, please help me. I am sick of this. When I was young I believed that once I died that would be it. But this," she said pointing her herself, "is not what I want. I want to be happy, to be at peace..." she felt tears come to her eyes again and she sniffed.

Botan felt pressure on her left shoulder and quickly looked over at it. Nothing was there but she knew that somehow Genkai was helping her. She smiled and rose up on wobbly legs. "I think that I need a vacation." She put a finger to her lips and smiled. "But shh, don't tell anyone!" she said with a small laugh and she started to move into the woods. She stopped dead when she realized she didn't know where she was going or what would be there. "Maybe I should go to..."she closed her eyes, she might have just enough energy to get there. She felt her body start to move but abruptly it stopped and she fell to the ground with a thud. She didn't have all the energy that she needed. She opened her right eye and looked around.

She sat about a foot from a tree near a large bush. She tried to pull herself up but didn't have the strength. "Come on Botan, you can do this." She told herself as she pushed herself up on wobbling arms. She crawled over to the tree and sat against it. She let out a long breath letting herself drift to sleep.

-Some days later-

Botan heard many voices around her. She couldn't open her eyes but she could listen to the voices.

"I know you could have found her sooner Hiei!" shouted someone. She had a feeling it was Kurama who sounded slightly stressed. She wondered why. "Look at her! What if we didn't find her!?"

'What are they talking about, am I that ugly or something?'

"Hn. I see that she is breathing and well. Now pick her up so we can leave." Hiei said.

She felt herself be lifted up but she didn't want to be, she tried to struggle but to no avail. She felt herself once again lose all her energy. She felt someone watching her but she didn't care. She wanted to sleep, and eat. It felt like an eternity since she last ate. She shifted with what little strength she had trying to get out of the persons arms.

"She reeks of demon." She heard Hiei say. 'I do?' she thought. She shifted again in Kurama's arms. 'Let me go!' she thought. She gave up as she felt them land on the ground, 'Kurama can fly?' she thought as she heard more voices around her.

"Oh thank God she is alright!" Keiko shouted. She heard more murmuring. "What happened to her?" Keiko asked. Botan felt like hitting them all.

'Why do they keep talking?' she decided to do something with the rest of her strength.

"Shut...up," she gasped. Everyone was quiet for a few moments then.

"Did she just talk!?" Keiko asked. Soon Yuskue joined in the yapping.

"Botan? You ok?" she felt like hitting them. 'Why won't they listen to me?'

"Did you all not just hear her?" Hiei asked with a smirk for some twisted reason.

"Yea." Yuskue said.

"Then shut up." He said. "I agree with her for once. Shut your trap." He said before disappearing.

"Shrimpy is a little strange today...no wait that was normal." Kuwabara said frowning at the spot he once stood. Botan was thankful that they listened to him. She wanted to sleep, forever.

"I'll put her in the spare bed upstairs." Kurama said. She felt him walking up stairs and sitting her on the spare bed. "Get better soon Botan, ok?" he whispered to her before leaving the room. Botan reached out for the sheets and grabbed them, but she didn't have the strength to move them to her. She felt her arm scream out in pain. 'I must have cut it when I fell.' She thought. Her mind drifted to what Hiei had said earlier;

"She reeks of demon." Did she? She sniffed the air and recalled. She did. Had they done something to her while she slept? She stiffened as she thought of what they could have done to her. She sighed and tried to open her eyes. She lifted her right one up half way and she looked at her arm. It was really scratched up and had dried blood on it.

'I need a bath.' She realized. She looked at the room and sighed. It was the room she was staying in earlier. She looked at the open window and frowned. 'I am to cold; I wish I could close that.' She thought as she stared at it. With a heavy sigh she sat her head back into the pillow and let her eyes and welcomed the darkness.

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Hiei sat on the tree branch outside of her window watching her as she slept. He scolded as he remembered how he got here. 'Damn my love for sweet snow!' he thought as he watched her. Kurama had bribed him to keep watch over her in return for some strawberry flavored sweet snow. He watched as she shifted onto her side and a stray hair fell over one of her eyes.

He jumped in the room and watched as she didn't move. 'That girl is going to get herself killed one day with how little she pays attention to her surroundings.' He scolded. He stood in the shadows and watched her. Her chest silently rose and fell as she slept apparently in a happy dream.

He frowned as she smiled. 'Damn her and all that happiness.' He thought as she let out a giggle. He sat down and crossed his arms over his chest and continued to watch. 'What is the point of watching her, nothing is going to happen.' He thought as she lifted a hand over her head and her smile turned to a frown.

"No..." she said in her sleep sounding like she was in pain. "Do-don't go!" she said grabbing at the air trying to pull something to her. Hiei watched her curiously as she started to cry. "I-I'm sorry!" she whimpered. "Come home daddy!" she yelled as she jumped up in bed and clutched herself, crying. Botan hugged herself and cried into her hands. "Come back..." she said as she swung her legs over the side of the bed and rubbed her sore legs. "Damn that fall." She said as she looked at her cut arms.

She sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes and shakily rose up on her feet. She sighed as the memories of her dream started to fade a bit. She tried to tell herself not to cry but she was failing. "Where is the damn bathroom?!" she hissed as she clinched her fist. Hiei watched amused as she cursed and cried. If he were to care he wouldn't seem too happy, but he didn't. He was just here to make sure she didn't hurt herself. He watched as she got up and scratched her arm near a scar.

He silently wondered how she got them but scolded at himself for caring in the first place. She got up and walked over to a door and looked at it. "Is this a bathroom?" she asked herself as she opened the door. "Nope just a closet..." she said as she bent down and picked something up. Hiei watched as she picked up some kind of magazine.

"OH GOD!" she said as she threw it down and slammed the door shut. "Keiko reads that!?" she thought as she scratched her neck. Hiei shifted as he once again smelled the stench of many demons on her. 'What could have happened to her?' he thought as she sighed. "Maybe it's over here." She said as she opened another door nearby. She opened the door and flicked on the light and looked at the tub. "Hope she doesn't mind." She said as she closed the door. Hiei sat in the shadows now alone in the room.

He watched the light under the door and saw her shadow move around. He heard the shower come on and he got up. He sat on her bed and looked at some of the blood stains from her arms and legs. "Why didn't the fools clean her up first?" He asked himself as he fingered the stains. He sighed and got up. He was bored. He sighed and went over to the window, opened it, and jumped out. She wasn't in any harm.

So he could leave and find something to do, like get some sweet snow or make sure the giant monkey didn't hit on his sister, who he had yet to tell that he was her brother. And with the last thought he left.

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Botan let out a happy sigh as she sat in the filled tub. She looked at the water and felt tears come to her when she didn't see her reflection. She huffed and whipped them away.

"Why couldn't I have gone to Heaven?" she whispered. Then another voice told her other things. 'Then you wouldn't have met Yuskue and the others. And that is worth it all, yes?' it said. Botan sighed and rinsed herself off and got out of the tub and grabbed the towel and whipped the blood off of her arm. She needed to fix that later.

She got a clean towel and put the other one in a basket for dirty clothes. She wrapped the towel around her and walked into the other room.

She jumped when she saw the curtains flying around because of the wind. She walked over and changed into a loose pair of pajama bottoms and a loose shirt. She put the towel on her bed and went over to close the window. As she looked out she nearly screamed when she saw two bright purple eyes staring at her. She fell on the floor as the thing jumped on her.

The thing had long black hair tied in the back into a ponytail. He was a little taller them her and he had white wings on his back. "Hello again Botan." He purred as he held her hands in one of his above her head. Botan felt her blood go cold as he spoke to her. "Thought you could get away from me did you? Think again." He said as he put her over her shoulder.

"Nilo! Put me down you...you...Ah!" she yelled. "How did you find me?" she whispered before he covered her mouth.

"You should know me, my dear. I have my ways." Nilo smirked and hit her on the neck knocking her out. "And this time I plan on keeping you."

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Things seem to be moving fast to me, so I think I will try to put in more detail and such.



Well this is my first attempt at a kind of story like this, and I must say it is very hard. Well I will update as soon as I think I have enough reviews. So Review, and please make them nice. I don't like getting flames. They are pointless and make me hate you, whoever you are. So, you were warned of my wrath!! Hahaha.

Oh and the update is expected once I have the time to put up with all the correcting and such. Please honor me with your...um...idea's. Yea that's it. Chapter two is almost done so here is a sneak peak!

Chapter Two:

Botan woke up in a dark room surrounded by small black clouds. Smelling the air could tell you that death was everywhere. She tried to get up only to find herself tied down with chains to the floor. She looked over at the window and prayed that she wasn't were she thought she was.

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"I will make sure that you are tortured so much that you will be begging for death."

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"I TOLD YOU TO WATCH HER HIEI!" Someone yelled in the room that she had been in only hours ago.

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And that is all you get. Hope you liked it and see you next time on... Found in the Dark!!!



Melimea

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