Hands of My Brother

Rating: PG

Summary: When young Gojyo runs from home after a beating from his mother Jien goes after him, can he convince his younger sibling that he will protect him or will he even find him in time?

Authors Note: I don't know much about the Saiyuki world, only that Gojyo was nearly killed by his wack-job for a stepmother. I've bought the 8th volume and that has some past about Gojyo and his brother so I'm going from what I know. In this fic he really cares about his brother, wants him to have a better life. Probably an AU so keep that in mind.

Hands of My Brother

(General POV)

Wild red hair flows from behind the racing figure, blood dripping onto the ground as he races along, stumbling due to lack of blood and rest. His body shaking from the effort of outrunning the angry words his step-mother cast upon him, already damaging his barely stable mind. Tears flow freely from his red eyes, the one color that marks him an abomination to the youkai kind and the human race. His running takes him to a temple, ones that stairs count above a hundred and are steep. The young half-demon clutches his bleeding side and groans at the stinging sensation from his gashed cheek. Making up his mind the young one begins his ascent up the stairs, the process going slow. After what seemed hours the bleeding boy turns and looks at the steps he has conquered, a total of maybe sixteen. Groaning with a new sense of annoyance and pain the Taboo child continues his walk to what he hopes is help for his injuries. With blood now soaking into his shoes the young boy can't walk without feeling, or hear the squish of blood and it makes him cringe. Knowing his brother would be worried he pushes aside those thoughts and keeps stepping up, step after step, after step. Finally reaching a landing about halfway up the hundred steps he stops and slumps to the ground, heavily breathing from exhaustion. Sitting there on the steps the young Sha Gojyo feels the first drops of rain splatter down on his body as the storm that threatened to fall all day decided this time to fall. Groaning the youth checks the injuries on his side, the bleeding claw marks leaving a nasty trail across his side and down beneath his waistband of his pants. Sitting in the rain isn't going to help him he decides and pushes himself to his feet, a wave of dizziness over coming the young half-youkai as he sways slightly. Closing his red eyes he breathes deeply, trying to relieve the vertigo as his stomach churns threatening to spill the meager contents. Forcing himself to stand erect once more he opens his eyes, gulping at the wet air, his lungs heaving from the effort. Setting his small jaw with determination he begins the rest of the trek up the last fifty steps and into the temple, each agonizing step making Gojyo wish he hadn't ran from his home. His older, full Youkai brother would be searching for him after he calmed their mother down and he would have patched the young man up with calm and easy hands. Gojyo didn't even know what had set his step-mother off in the first place, he was in his room being silent like she ordered playing with some toys when she came barging in, angry scream making the young Gojyo jump.

(Flashback)

She had swiped at the small red-head with her long claws and actually cut him, the slices going deep into the boys' side as he was flung to the side. Gojyo let out a yelp of pain as his head struck the bedpost and his hands went to his bleeding side. Watching the enraged woman come closer the young half-breed's breathing becomes ragged and he closes his eyes, not wanting to face the hatred in her eyes, hatred for what he was, for who he is. She attacked the young one with the ferocity of a wild cat, her long hands grasping the shoulder length hair and yanking him high into the air.

" Look at me you bastard!" She yells and the red eyes open to reveal scared, tear filled eyes that show he doesn't understand why his mother was doing this. She growls in anger and lashes out again, this time catching the young man on the side of the face, leaving two claw marks close to his eye. Flinching away makes her more angry and with strength unknown to even her she throws the young child across the room and into the opposite wall. Hearing the commotion Jien races into the room, grabbing his mother by the shoulders and pull her away from the shuddering form of his half-brother. All the way our she sobs and screams

" Bastard little demon! You should have died! I'll slaughter you, never come back here! NEVER! I'll KILL YOU!" Jien looks sadly back at the huddled form of his brother before hauling his mother from the room. The door was left open and Gojyo saw his chance, taking it he fled, past his mothers room and out the front door, his feet pounding on the dirt as he ran, far and fast.

(End Flashback)

Shuddering at the memory Gojyo continues his walk up the temple steps, blood dripping from his wounds only to be diluted from the now pouring rain. Finally his determination pays off because the last step arrives and he crosses the wooden boarder between the outside world and the temple. The inside of the temple is cold and dark, sighing to himself Gojyo finds a corner and sits down.

" Figures, temple is abandoned and it's the one I chose." He scoffs and then peels his hands away from the injury to his side, wincing as more blood bubbles from the wound. His shirt shredded already he decides to take it off, the cold temple shielding the boy now from the cold rain, still sends a shiver of ice down his spine for it has no fires to warm the stone building. Ripping his shirt into smaller shreds the half-demon binds his injured side, pulling the bandages tight against the seeping wound. Biting his lip he pulls harder, the pain lancing through his whole body as the makeshift bandages are tied in place. Breathing heavily again from the pain Gojyo looks around the abandoned room, wishing for anything to cover with since his shirt is not being used to bind his injuries. Eyes roaming the floor near the smashed statue he slowly gets to his feet, swaying slightly he leans against the wall, his body shaking. Walking unsteadily to the statue he bends, crying out as pain shoots once again from his side and picks up a tattered old blanket or robe, now moth eaten. Looking at the article with question Gojyo shrugs and shakes his out, the movement sending smaller, but manageable jolts of pain through his body. Satisfied that the cover is free of any blood-sucking bugs or tings he wraps it around his shaking shoulders and heads back to his small corner. Pushing back as far back into the corner as possible the little demon sighs. Listening to the rain, the silence that seems to vibrate through the hall brings the realization of how alone he is and the events finally take the toll on his mind. Tears begin to fall from his eyes, unchecked and uncaring as the young man sobs. Bringing his knees up to his chest he wraps his arms around them and buries his head in the nook that position creates, sobbing harder as the hatred dealt to him bleeds from his very soul.

(Jien)

Once I had mother calmed down enough I put her into bed, her random mumbling making me sigh with sadness. Ever since father brought home Gojyo, the son he had made by a human woman my mothers sanity has been on the edge, going over at the slightest thing. Earlier she had ordered Gojyo to go to his room and be silent, or else. Gojyo, already knowing not to mess with Mother left the room he and I were playing cards in and went to his room, for several hours there wasn't a noise from the room. I had gone to the kitchen for something to eat and was planning on bringing some to Gojyo for he hadn't eaten lunch and was already far to skinny and small, when the enraged yell of mother made me drop the knife. I races down the hall to my brothers room in time to see my mother throw the smaller child into the wall where he dropped with a thud on the floor. I watched the scene for a few minutes to see what Gojyo would do, but the young half-demon only curled into a small ball and shook in fear. Mother advanced toward him, her anger seeping from her very being. I knew what she was planning to do and knew I had to stop her. I yelled and latched my arms around her slim shoulders, restraining her. I began to pull her from the room, her voice yelling at the boy how if he came back she'd kill him, my own heart sank at this. Gojyo tried to hard to please my mother, he did everything asked of him and then some but always seemed to get beat. Looking down once more at my now sleeping mother I shake my head and walk from her room. Going back to Gojyo's room I half expect to see my younger brother still sitting on the floor in a ball, but where I looked in I find nothing. Only a large stain of blood on the carpet but no Gojyo, panic races through my head as I search the whole house, calling his name but to no avail. I find the trail of blood droplets and follow them, right to the front door. My brother is alone, out there and bleeding, badly from what I can tell. Making up my mind I grab the small first aid kit and a jacket from the hallway and race out the door, following the droplets of blood. The trail becomes harder to follow as the rain starts, his trail seeming to lead to the small abandoned temple in the woods away from the town. Upon discovering it last week I never told Gojyo about it, but seems he knew of it. The trail is completely washed away now by the downpour, the rain soaking my body and clothes. I can only imagine what my brother must look like, having been badly injured and out in the rain. Standing at the crossroads I groan, undecided of which way to go.

" Shit… now which way?" I growl and stand there, allowing the rain to pour down on me.

"Go to the left, you will find whom you seek." Startled I glance around, the voice had whispered in my ear but there is no one around me. Slightly scared now I glance around one more time before taking off down the left path,

"Within the temple you shall find, a little boy with many tears to cry." I pump my legs faster when those words are uttered, knowing now he is in the temple. The hundred stairs loom ahead of me and I take them two at a time, quickly gaining height to the temple. Atop the case sits a small building, the wood beginning to rot but safe none the less. Inside it is pitch dark, a world without light that once housed a place for gods and the monks who worshipped them. Stepping inside the temple I slowly eye the area, wishing for light, a small sniffle alerts me to someone inside.

" Gojyo?" I call, wishing he would answer me, hoping he would answer. The sniffle comes again before the small voice, so sad

" Go away." Calls from the darkness. Smiling at the triumph of my brothers' voice I step further inside, looking around.

" C'mon Gojyo, don't play this. Come out." I say into the darkness, the shift of feet sends me to the right, peering into the darkness I can see the almost red hair. Smiling slightly to myself slowly make my way over, not wanting to corner my brother but still wanting him to feel secure.

" No." he mutters and I stop at the heartbreaking sob that accompanies that one word. Nearer now to the form I can see the shuddering of the slim body. Shaking my head I kneel down,

" Hey." I whisper and he jumps trying to press himself further into the wall and with frightened eyes he stares back at me. The tear filled eyes, the scarlet color now almost black from the tears mesmerizes my own eyes. His small face is covered in blood, two gashes along his right cheek.

" Oh Sha." I reach out a hand to touch him but he jerks away, fear lighting his eyes again. His breathing is harder, more ragged. Almost hyperventilating from even the small touch of comfort I wanted to give him. He gulps for air,

" Don't… t-touch m-me." He shudders and curls tighter into himself, amazing how such a lanky person can do that. I watch as his shaking continues and catch glances at his chest through the moth eaten clothe he has surrounding him. Underneath I see the slightly tanned skin and lightly defined muscles the skin slightly stained with dried blood. Mother really did a job on him, clawed his side and his face. Those wounds will heal I know, but the scars will always remain both physically and mentally.

" Gojyo, let me help you." I try and slowly place my hand on the slim shoulder, feeling the reflective flinch of the limb. He turns to look at me, his tears stained eyes making my heart break again. He slowly comes out of the corner a bit and I move with him, backing up slightly. He still won't look me in the eye, his shame rolling from him in waves. Opening the kit I pull out some bandages and disinfectant, getting ready to patch my sibling up, like always.

" Let's see the damage." I tell him softly, knowing that right now, like after every beating, Gojyo has to be handled lightly, his natural reaction to the beatings is to lash out but this time he seems to have retreated within himself. I take the blanket and gently pull it from his small frame, sucking in a breath when I see the shirt that was once on his body now shredded and wrapped tightly around his side and stomach. The homemade bandage is soaked in the deep red blood, so badly soaked that it is dripping onto the temple floor.

" Hey, I have to remove those bandages." I tell him and gently place my hands on the tie holding the bandages on. Gojyo lets out a yelp and tries to struggle away but I grab onto him, holding his in place. He struggles slightly, new tears streaming down his face as I force him to lay on his side. Glancing at the teary eyes I see the blank look, so unlike the energetic, open and expressive eyes that are usually his. Untying the bandage I peel it way from the three gashes, wincing in sympathy at the deep gouges in his side, at some point in the gash I can see they are not life threatening but are going to restrict him to limited movement for some time. Shaking my head sadly I take the disinfectant and shake it,

" I need to spray this disinfectant one these gashes brother, it's going to really hurt." I warn the unresponsive half-demon and then uncap the substance. Positioning the bottle over his side I push the trigger and the spray falls into the wound. The stinging must be so intense because my brother begins to struggle, his hidden strength coming out in full force as he withers on the floor, his voice going hoarse from his yelling. I can only hold his down, there is nothing else I can do except speak soothing words to him and hold him still, less he does further damage. His breathing is harsh and rapid as he calms, he tries to curl into himself, to get away from the pain but I hold him from it, wrapping the wounds quickly. Now that his side is bandaged against any thing harmful (except Gojyo himself) I turn to the task of cleaning the marks on his face. Not as deep as his side but still seeping blood, they can become infected and then he would be in danger of losing his eye. Cleaning the area of the blood I find that none of the claws hit the eye, good thing because I wasn't up to having to explain to my younger half-brother why everything looked flat. Spraying the disinfectant onto the gauze I was using I gently dab at the marks, earning a hissing gasp from my brother. His eyes stare at me, those unresponsive irises of red, they hold no blame, no sadness only a question.

Why.

Why him? Why is he such a bad person? I tape a large white gauze pad onto his face and lean back, grabbing the coat I slip it over my injured brother. I wish I knew the answers.

" I know you don't understand why brother, and if I knew the answer I would tell you but I don't. If I had the power to change everything I honestly would, I would bring your mother back so maybe you could be raised in a loving home instead of this one. I honestly would because this is no way for someone like you to live." I shake my head, restraining a tear from my own eyes. Leaning my now sleepy brother back against the wall I get up and walk to the doorway, leaning against the jam I watch the rain as it pours down over the world.

" Father use to say that the rain is the Gods crying because of something bad that had happened, for a mistake they made. I hope they sob hard and beg for forgiveness for what they did to you." I growl and slam my fist into the wooden Jam, splintering the wood. Angry with myself more than anything I go out into the storm and shout at the sky

" WHY MUST YOU TORTURE THIS BOY! HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I sob, allowing my tears to mingle with the rain. The wind seems to pick up a bit and soon the rain feels like a thousand needles piercing my skin.

" Why must you curse the gods when you stand on temple grounds?" I jump, the voice startling me. Looking around I find a woman standing behind me, her see through shirt shimmering in an oddly fashion but still not getting wet. I stand and stare at the woman, her long dark hair held back but still framing her elegant face. She stands there smugly looking at me, her smirk so cocky for a woman.

" Who the hell are you?" I ask, whirling around to face the smug woman. She only laughs slightly before pointing at me with a long elegant finger.

" I am Kanzeon Bosatsu, symbol of Love and Mercy." She says with an air of holiness about her. My eyes go wide this is a god? Slightly scared now I step back, keeping a good eye on the 'goddess'. She only smiles and steps closer. I step back, she steps closer I step back and lose my balance. I might have fallen if the woman hadn't stopped me with just a wave of her elegant hand. Now safely on the stone I stare at her, still in shock at having a God actually talking to me.

" W-what do you want?" I ask trying to get back inside the temple to watch my brother incase another one shows up. The goddess follows, her delicate steps barely making a sound. Glancing to where my brother lay, eyes closed and breathing even but fast I sigh, he is safe.

" You wanted to know why." She says simply, also looking at my brother but her eyes not looking at him but through him. She goes and kneels beside his huddled body, looking intently at him before looking back up at me.

" He is special and these trials we put him through are to shape him into the man he will be. I have watched him from the first moment he was conceived; all the things that happened to him are to be announced in the future and not now. All I can say is that we, the gods, have plans for this Half-demon." She says and gets back to her feet, watching me intently

" You, young Jien must watch over him as we will you, do not allow him to become angry or you will answer to me, he has to go through this to become what I need him to become. Don't you understand? Everything has a reason for being, even the shattered soul of a young half-breed whom the world will hate and despise." I slowly nod, wondering still why him, why did they have to pick him out of billions of others he was the one they used. The Goddess laughs slightly and then walks back toward the doorway, her eyes smiling.

" The future comes quickly, you will see soon what I mean." She then disappears, leaving only Gojyo and myself in the dark temple, but the temple isn't so dark now. Almost like her presence had brought warmth back into the once cold place. My brother groans and I turn to watch as those red eyes open, slowly coming back to life. They are like a mirror to his soul, all the hatred all the pain he had is still there. He looks around, sleepily rubbing at his eyes.

" Jien?" He mutters and I kneel beside my younger half-brother, cupping his bandaged face with my own large hands and looking deep into his eyes.

" Don't you ever run off like that again Gojyo! You hear me?" I shout at him and shake his small body, he only stares into my eyes and I see the tears welling up in them again, releasing his face I look at the floor. A small hand comes and touches my shoulder, the slender fingers trembling so slightly but still enough to feel.

" I'm sorry Onii-chan." He whispers and I smile, taking the frail looking hand in my own and patting it.

" It's alright Gojyo, I understand but you were injured." I explain and the shadow of relief comes over him, almost like he thought I was going to beat up on him like mother.

" Oh Sha, I'm sorry." I tell him and he looks confused

" why Jien?" He asks innocents radiating off his form.

" For everything that happened and will happen." I tell him and hug him close to my body, still wishing I could change everything or make the upcoming future a little easier on him, gods know how hard his life has been and will be.

" Let's go home." I tell him and stand up, at the scared look I only shake my head

" Mother won't bother you, don't worry I'll protect you Gojyo." I reach out my hand to him and slowly the smaller one encases mind he I help him to his feet. Slowly we make our way back to the house, the rain beginning to let off as we walk down the sodden path.

(In the future)

I watch as my brother swings his weapon around and slices through the youkai that are attacking his friends and comrades, I watch him from the distance now, for we are enemies both fighting for what we believe in but on opposite sides. He has grown into a strong man, a bit of a lecher and a womanizing man but a strong person. Unhappy with some of the habits he's taken up, smoking, drinking, gambling, womanizing, but still all things considered he is still smiling and carefree. His youth didn't ruin him like I thought for sure it would at times, instead it seemed to make him stronger, more attached to life's greater offerings. His friends are close to him, even the annoying monk. Just like the goddess said that rainy night all those years ago, my brother is special. Not only in his spirit but the effect he has on others, although he has had to deal with so much abuse, not only from my mother but from the outside world, he doesn't let it show how it effect him. He's a good person, strong and cocky.

He's my brother

Sha Gojyo

One of the chosen four.