This story pretty much is a different take on the Cambias murder mystery. It begins the day after the infamous "Bianca/Kendall Clinic Scene" and after Kendall finds Lena after Lena's suicide attempt, and will continue through the resolution of the murder mystery. The main characters are the Kane/Montgomery bunch, and the Lena/Bianca relationship is featured in a non-explicit manner. I hope you enjoy, and feedback if very welcome.
Kendall walked into the hospital as if she owned the place. Inquiring at the reception desk, she quickly discovered the room that she was seeking. It was only when she reached the door of the room that she hesitated, trying to peek through the small window to see the room occupant. She was startled when a voice behind her said, "Why don't you just go in? I think you're entitled."
"David," replied Kendall, "I'm going to go in, I just don't quite know what to say."
"Just say what you think she needs to hear."
"But David, what if it makes things worse? I'm not trained in this."
David's answer made her think. "Do you care? About her?"
Kendall thought about it, "I guess I do. I know I do for Bianca's sake. I guess I've never thought about her as her own person, what she's thinking, what she's feeling. God, she has to feel so alienated."
David responded quietly, "I suspect that you can empathize."
Kendall's voice cracked a little, "I guess I can. But, I know that things are going to get better eventually. That's what's keeping me going. Lena hasn't had that hope has she? As far as she knows, Bianca doesn't love her anymore. She doesn't have that hope to hang on to. God, I should have done something before it came to this. I need to see her. I need to help her."
David replied, "She's asleep right now, but why don't you sit with her. It would do her good
to have a friendly face around when she wakes up." Kendall opened the door and took a breath,
"Thanks David." With that, she entered the hospital room, sitting by Lena's side.
Dreams, horrible terrible dreams. No peace. Lena was used to that by now. Since Bianca had broken up with her, Lena's dreams had been haunted, first with questions about what she did that caused Bianca to fall out of love with her, and later, after finding out about the rape, with images of Michael. Upon hearing that Bianca was pregnant, Lena's world had come crashing down yet again. Lena knew in her heart that Bianca had to agree with Maggie, Lena deserved to suffer for what happened to Bianca. It was Lena's fault. All Lena's fault. Lena fought the dreams, trying to wake. She thrashed about before waking from the nightmare, only to feel a cool hand on her forehead pushing her gently down into the bed. Another hand held her own. "It's okay. Take it easy. You're alright. Everything is going to be alright." The voice was familiar to Lena, and she focused her eyes to find herself being comforted by someone she'd never expected.
"Kendall? What . . .? Where am I?"
Kendall quietly answered, "You're in the hospital Lena. Do you remember what happened?"
Lena flashed back to t he last thing she remembered clearly, taking the poison and the pain that followed it. Her tone was bitted as she answered, "I should have died, I wish I had died."
Kendall's reply was angry, "You would do that to my sister? Sorry, I'm not going to let that happen. I'm not going to let you hurt Bianca like that. I'm not going to let you be that selfish."
Lena was angry now, "Bianca doesn't want me. Why would she care? She'll be glad to have
me gone. And, YOU accuse me of being selfish. You? You married her rapist."
Kendall's voice was less hard now, "I would never do anything to hurt my sister. Do you actually think I would mar...? Never mind. It's not important. Regardless of what I've done Lena, I do love my sister, and I'd never do anything that I thought would hurt her. I have my reasons for doing what I've done. You tried to take the easy way out. Bianca would be so hurt if she knew."
Lena interrupted, "Bianca doesn't know? Thank God."
Kendall looked at Lena, "I asked David not to tell her. She doesn't need this on top of everything else right now."
Lena's voice began to shake, "I know. I overheard Maggie and Bianca at the boathouse. I
didn't mean to, I've been spending time there because it makes me feel closer to Bianca. I heard
them talking." Lena began to sob, "Bianca's pregnant. I heard Bianca say so. Then Maggie said I
needed to suffer, that it was my fault . . ."
Kendall replied, "Screw Maggie! She's not Bianca. Bianca is the only person whose feelings you have to worry about, and I think Bianca still loves you. Is that what drove you to this? Oh Lena . . ." Kendall's voice fell silent as tears made their way down her face.
Kendall's grip on Lena's hand tightened as Lena could hardly speak, "I know it was stupid. I've never loved before. I didn't know what to do. I only wanted the pain to stop. It was selfish. You're right."
Kendall stroked Lena's hair for a moment before replying, "I've been there, but this isn't the answer. You have to live. You have to have hope. Let me help you find that hope. One day, Bianca will be ready to love you again. The only question is, are you willing to fight for that love?"
Lena looked at Kendall, with a new determination, a new light in her eyes, "I would do
anything for Bianca." Kendall smiled, "Then let me help you."
"Thank you. And Kendall?"
"What did you mean when you asked if I actually thought that you married Michael? Are you saying that you didn't?"
Kendall sighed, "I'm asking you to trust me, I guess I need to trust you. It's a long story Lena."
Lena gave a small laugh, "Where am I going?" As both women laughed, Kendall unburdened herself, telling her sister's lover everything she knew, trusting Lena to understand why Kendall did what she did. After hearing Kendall's story, Lena understood perfectly.
Lena's eyes sparkled with admiration, and a hint of mischief as Kendall's story ended. "Dear
God Kendall, you've risked everything . . ."
"And lost everything," was Kendall's quiet reply. It was Lena's turn to reach out and grasp Kendall's hand, "If they only knew Kendall . . ."
"Lena, they may never know. I might never be able to tell them."
Lena responded, "Perhaps, perhaps not. Perhaps in time, they will realize that you were only trying to help them."
Kendall's voice shook as she answered, "With Bianca, maybe I have a chance. But with my mother, I don't think so. I was at the penthouse the other night. Erica and Bianca didn't know I was there. I heard Erica telling Bianca she should have an abortion. I heard my mother tell my sister that she wishes she could have aborted me, that she wishes I had never been born." Tears were running down Kendall's face.
Lena could sense the heartbreak Kendall was suffering and wanted so badly to comfort her. "Oh Kendall, I'm so sorry."
Kendall's smile was sad. "I saw Bianca today. At the clinic. She was there for the abortion. She actually let me talk to her. I think maybe she believed what I was telling her. I told her Michael would never hurt her again. I . . . I told that I love her. I think maybe she believed me. I hope she
Lena ached for Kendall. She herself knew the desperation of being completely alone. "You told me there is hope Kendall. We both need hope. Erica perhaps will come to understand what you've done. Bianca is a wonderful, caring person. Bianca will understand someday. Perhaps she already does. Kendall?"
"Is Bianca okay?"
Both women were crying as Kendall answered, "I don't know Lena. I don't know. She's in so much pain. It's like she's lost a part of herself. It's like she's broken."
"Kendall, I have to help her. We have to help her"
Kendall smiled sympathetically, "I know Lena. You can help her. But, she has to want your help."
Lena frowned as she answered, "That's what Maggie said. She said Bianca doesn't want to see me, but I can't just sit by and do nothing."
Anger flashed across Kendall's face, "When have you talked to Maggie?"
"Several times," was Lena's answer. "She told me that when Bianca was ready to see me, that she would come to me. But, Kendall, perhaps I shouldn't say this, but I don't trust her. I think she's trying to protect Bianca from me. I know I have done terrible things, but I love Bianca. I would never hurt her." Lena almost shouted the last words.
Kendall tried to calm Lena as she replied, "I know Lena. Maggie didn't want Bianca to see me either. I don't know what Maggie's motivations are, but she's not helping Bianca by shutting her off from the world. I wonder if she's even told Bianca about talking to you. She was right about one thing. Bianca has to want you to help her before you can. I believe that. But, unlike Maggie, I think you can help Bianca. She has a huge heart to be able to forgive you for betraying her with Michael. Hell, she has a huge heart to be able to forgive a lot of what I've done. Right now, I think she's hurting so badly that maybe she thinks it's for the best if you're not around. Maybe she thinks that it would hurt you to be with her."
Lena interrupted, "I don't think that. I want her. I want to love her. What Michael did to her doesn't change how I feel. I will love her through anything Kendall, anything. Why doesn't she know that? She needs to know that." Lena sobbed into her hands as she said the last words.
Kendall watched her for a moment before gathering Lena into her arms and allowing the
Polish woman to cry herself out. "Lena, I promise you that I will do my best to make sure that she
knows that. For her sake, and for yours."
Kendall sat beside her until Lena fell asleep. Kendall was surprised to feel compassion for Lena. Kendall had thought that she was trying to help Bianca, but quickly realized that she was more of a sucker for true love than she wanted to admit. With a small laugh at this thought, Kendall began to formulate a plan. A few minutes later, she left Lena's bedside, game face on.
Kendall arrived at Enchantment a short time later, making her way upstairs after a few minutes delay at the security desk. She smirked as she thought of how far money and a little sex appeal could go in obtaining information. The security guards didn't know what hit them, and Kendall had found out that Bianca was home alone. Kendall wanted very much to repair her relationship with her sister. She had meant every word she said to Bianca at the clinic. She loved her sister and wanted to do anything she could to help her. Trouble was, she didn't know if Bianca felt the same way.
Sitting in Erica's office, Kendall didn't even realize she was talking out loud. "Damn this whole Michael situation. I wish I could just tell the truth, but I have to protect them. I don't know if Bianca could even handle the truth. And, I haven't exactly helped things with how I've behaved." Kendall was truly sorry that she had yelled at Bianca about having an abortion. "I just let myself get so caught up in arguing with Erica that I didn't even consider Bianca at all. I have to make this up to her. I have to help her love again." Kendall was determined as she took a couple of deep breaths and headed up to the penthouse and knocking on the door.
Bianca 's dream of Michael and Kendall coming to take her baby was fresh in her mind. She wanted to believe Kendall that Michael would never come back, would never hurt her, just like before the rape she had believed everyone who had said Michael wouldn't hurt her. She wanted to trust Kendall. At first, when Kendall told her she had married Cambius, Bianca had been shattered. She couldn't believe that Kendall had betrayed her. But, running into Kendall at the clinic had caused Bianca to change her mind. For better or worse, Kendall wore her emotions on her sleeve. Bianca knew that she hadn't been faking the love that Bianca heard in her voice.
Bianca smiled as she thought of Kendall's words. Kendall was proud of her. Kendall loved
her. Kendall would be there for her, regardless. Bianca's thoughts turned to Erica. She wondered
what Erica would do if she knew, if she would support Bianca. A tear ran down Bianca's face as she
thought of her mother's reaction when she learned the news. Bianca knew she couldn't tell her yet.
And Lena. Bianca thought of Lena's reaction. She knew that Lena would never look at her the same
again because Bianca didn't look at herself the same. Lena was better off without her. But Bianca
loved her so much. Bianca broke into tears as she thought of Lena. Thinking out loud, Bianca
murmured, "I love her too much to make her stay with me." She then collapsed on the couch in tears.
A knock on the door startled Bianca. She was a little frightened of who it could be. She hadn't really been alone since the rape. Fighting back a panic attack, Bianca realized that security guards would never let a stranger up to the penthouse. It was probably Maggie. Bianca's tears were still running down her face as she opened the door to find her sister. "What are you doing here Kendall? If Mom finds you, she'll kill you."
Kendall smiled, "I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you've had a rough day. It's worth facing the wrath of Erica if I know you're all right. Besides, I know she's not home."
Bianca was touched at Kendall's words. It seemed that Kendall knew just the right things to say. Part of her just wanted to collapse into Kendall's arms and tell her everything. "Come in Kendall," was all that she said, stepping away from the door and allowing her sister to follow her to the couch.
They sat there for a moment, Kendall anxiously searching Bianca's face for a sign the she was
okay. "Bianca, you're crying. Is there anything I can do?"
Bianca smiled at Kendall again, "There's not much anybody can do. I cry at everything. I can't do anything but cry."
Kendall reached out as if to take Bianca's hand before pulling back, not wanting to overstep her bounds. "You're entitled Bianca. I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but it will get better."
Bianca looked at Kendall, really looked at her sister. "Do you promise?"
Kendall's voice broke as she answered, "I promise." As she said those words, Bianca's eyes welled up again, and she reached out to hold her sister's hand. Kendall grasped Bianca's hand with both of hers before again softly whispering, "I promise." With those words, Bianca collapsed into her sister's arms, finding much needed comfort, and an all too brief moment of peace.